January Dreams

by Carrigan Richards

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  “Why are we at war again, Florence?” Florence and I sit close to each other, leaned against a tree while our horses graze the grass behind us.

  Her thick lips press in a straight line. “Vengeance, especially since Vincent killed Casper. Vincent and his men have killed too many Elves for them to stand by. And they want the Jewel. You know it belongs to the Elves, right?”

  “That’s impossible. We’ve always had it.”

  “You ever wonder why we have it? We’re immortal. Why do we need it?”

  “It protects us from death,” I say. I’m not sure where she’s going with this. We’ve always known that of the Nuummite Jewel. “It keeps us immortal.”

  Florence shakes her head. “We are immortal without the Jewel, Megan. But I guess it does protect us from death, at least from dying at the hand of an Elf.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “The Sprites wants the Elves dead, obviously. So, we hold the Jewel because it keeps them mortal. Thousands of Elves are dying as we speak because they are aging. They are only immortal with the Jewel. When it’s in their home, it connects each of them. Without it, it weakens them. But there are other uses from this Jewel.”

  “What does it look like?”

  “It’s a black stone with different bandings that has an iridescent glow. Sometimes you can see several colors in it. It’s the most beautiful thing.” She pauses. “Whoever has the Nuummite Jewel, has the ability to access other times and existences. The Elves fear that in the wrong hands, someone could destroy the future by messing with the past.”

  I take a deep breath and stand. I can’t believe what she’s telling me. I feel like everything I have ever known is a lie. I wander by the ledge watching the water crash against the rocks below. There is something familiar about it. My mind keeps flashing with a dark scene.

  “What is it?” Florence asks, coming up behind me.

  “This spot. I recognize it.”

  “It’s where you and I used to come all the time.”

  I shake my head. “No, it’s something else.”

  “What?”

  My mind flashes again. I’m looking over the edge, like now, except it is night. I’m staring into blue eyes before I am pushed. Quickly, I grab the ledge. A man with blond hair and angular features saves me.

  I open my eyes and step back from the ledge. “Someone tried to kill me here,” I tell her. “But someone else saved me.”

  Florence gasps. Her green eyes water. “Someone tried to kill you?”

  “I see flashes.”

  “Who saved you?”

  “I don’t know. He had blond hair and brown eyes.”

  “Casper.”

  “Who would want me dead? And why?”

  Florence brings a shaky hand over her mouth. “I don’t know, Megan.”

  “I must know everything, Florence. Will you help me?”

  “Of course. We will learn the truth together.”

  I sleep until noon and let my dogs roam in the backyard. It’s a rainy, cold day. I want to run around or do something and briefly it seems like I have the energy to do a lot. But after pouring myself water and letting the dogs back in, I’m tired. I sit down at the kitchen table and let Savannah hop in my lap. Her paws are wet, and they soak through my pajama pants.

  “Thanks for getting me wet,” I tell her, and she licks my nose.

  There’s a knock at the door and the dogs go crazy, barking so loud it rings in my ears. I push my way through them and close the foyer door so they can’t attack whoever’s at the door. I answer it. It’s a deliveryman holding up a glass vase with beautiful white calla lilies and yellow roses. Vincent. My heart swells. I’m so happy. He knows exactly how to cheer me up.

  “These are for Megan Devereux,” he says. He smiles when he sees my eyes widen.

  “Thank you!” I take the vase and close the door.

  I inhale the floral scents and grab the card, eager to read what Vincent wrote. But when I read it, I almost drop the vase.

  Thought these would cheer you up since you can’t go outside. – Casper.

  I can’t believe he did this. I’m absolutely floored. It’s such a generous gesture. I’m disappointed that it wasn’t Vincent, yet a strange excitement rushes through me knowing Casper sent them. How did he know these were my favorite flowers? Why did he send them? He knows Vincent and I are still together. We had a fight. That’s all.

  But my dreams are so against Vincent, like he’s the one who killed Casper. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?

  I shake my head. How could I ever think something like that? Vincent would never shoot anyone.

  Maybe I should visit Vincent? I can go to his house and wait for him to come home from school.

  Hopefully, I can make it back in time, so my parents won’t know I left. I slowly dress in a lot of layers and slide into the freezing cold car. My teeth chatter and my body aches, begging me to return to bed. I back out of the drive and go to Vincent’s. I leave the heat on in my car and wait for him to arrive. I curl my legs against my chest and close my eyes.

  I jump when I hear a knock at my window. Vincent opens my door and I step out. I’m so happy to see him. I missed him so much.

  “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Concern fills his dark blue eyes, and I feel relieved that at least he still cares about me.

  “I had to come see you. I hated that fight. Please tell me it’s not over between us. Please.”

  “No, Megan. It’s not over.” His eyes soften and I relax. “I had to leave that night because I don’t want to be around you when I’m angry.”

  I take his hands in mine. “I never meant to hurt you. I know you and Casper have some weird hatred toward each other.” I can’t believe I’m about to say this. “But I’ll stop talking to him.”

  He raises his eyebrows and looks at me as though I’ve given him the greatest gift ever. “What? You would do that?”

  “Yes. I love you. Only you. And I would do anything for you.”

  Vincent’s eyes darken with desire. He lowers his lips to mine, but I stop him.

  “I’m still sick.”

  He rolls his eyes and presses his lips to mine with fervor, his hands cradling my face and my heart beats so fast. He slows his lips and pulls away. “I love you so much Megan. I never want to be away from you, and I’ve missed you.”

  I swallow my guilt. “I’m sorry. How is your mom?”

  His eyes turn sad. “Cancer’s spread. She has breast cancer. She had a mastectomy. That’s why I haven’t called. But they found more cancerous cells in her lungs.”

  I feel tears burn at the back of my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I don’t know what to say. He draws me into an embrace, and I fold into him. I feel him kiss the top of my head.

  “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. But thank you.” He unburies my face and holds it between his hands, his blue eyes locking onto mine. “You are mine. And I am yours.”

  He kisses me and his tongue grazes mine making my heart workout. I feel as though I’m running out of breath, but I don’t want to stop. I love the feel of his velvet lips against mine. His kisses always leave me wanting more and I feel his love. He never holds back.

  When we part, he grins. “Should we wait until you’re better?”

  “It wears me out,” I admit. “And I don’t want to get you sick. But I have missed you.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Will you come see me tonight?”

  A sweet grin stretches on his lips. “I’ll come see you every night if you desire.”

  “I don’t wanna fight anymore.”

  His eyes hold mine and there seems to be something in them that hesitates.

  “What is it?”

  He holds me at arm’s length. After a moment, he breathes a sigh. “I’m so scared of losing you again. I wish I knew what to do to not lose you.”

  “Vincent, you didn’t lose me, and you never will.”
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  He nods slowly, but there is still pain and doubt in his eyes. He pulls me into his chest. “You should probably get home. I don’t want you to get worse.” When I draw back, he lifts my chin and kisses me.

  When I get home, I crawl into bed and pull the blankets over me. I’m glad we patched things up, but I wonder what makes him hesitant. Does he not believe that I can stop talking to Casper? I can do it. Can’t I?

  I stare at the beautiful flowers on my dresser. I should thank Casper for the gesture. But I need to put him out of my mind for good. That little adventure wore me out, so it doesn’t take long for me to find sleep again.

  “Are you sure they weren’t trying to kill Casper?” Florence questions. We’re still sitting at our spot by the cliff that overlooks the treacherous waters. “What did he look like?”

  “I don’t know. It was dark. My mind is blurry. Could it be one of the Elves?”

  “Megan, why would any of them want to kill you?”

  “Because I’m their enemy. I don’t know. Maybe they weren’t keen on us being together.”

  Florence shakes her head. “You were not an enemy. You brought them hope.”

  “How is that?”

  “If you and Casper married, it could help end the wars. Bring the two sides together.”

  “If Casper is an Elf, there would be no way I could fall in love with him.” But as I say it, I somehow know it isn’t true.

  “That’s not true, Megan. You have to remember.”

  “There’s nothing I can do if Casper is dead.” When I say that, I feel my heart shrink, like it never wants to see the light of day because of Casper’s death.

  “We can stop the war. We can look for the Jewel and give it back to the Elves.” Her eyes are serious.

  “I don’t even know where to begin looking, let alone know where the Elves are.”

  “I think I can get someone to help us.”

  “Who?”

  She seems to struggle with her words. “One of Edmond’s friends. I know where they are.”

  “Where?”

  “I promised I wouldn’t say.”

  “Don’t they know what happened to Edmond? And why didn’t you go with him?”

  “I’m not as brave as you. I can’t run away from everything I have ever known. But now, I want to.”

  “I can tell you’ve changed.”

  “I have had time to learn a lot of truths. But when Vincent sent out people looking for you, I got scared that they’d find me. I was about to leave because they never found you, Vincent announced you returned. So, I knew I couldn’t leave. And now that Casper is dead, I can’t handle it if I learn that Edmond died.” Her eyes watered.

  “Oh, Florence. I had no idea.”

  “You did at one time.” She smiles wistfully. “I’m going to meet my friend and he will help us after we get the Jewel, bring it to the Elves. In the meantime, I need you to hunt for this Jewel.”

  I search her green eyes. Is she telling the truth? I have no reason to distrust Florence. The more we talk, the more I become wary of Vincent. How can he do this to me? How have I never known the truth about the Jewel? Vincent has always been my love. Why would he ever harm me? Perhaps because I had fallen in love with an Elf. I almost can’t forgive myself. But I also don’t want their entire race to die because of us. “Okay,” I agree.

  “Great. Come on, we should get back before the sun disappears.”

  A beep from my phone wakes me. It’s Vincent telling me he’s outside. I quietly make my way outside and meet him behind the bushes. He takes my hand, and briefly, I’m cautious because of my dream, I guess, but I shake it away. He smiles and my heart melts.

  “I really hope you don’t get worse by doing this,” he says.

  “I feel fine.” But I shiver uncontrollably. Even though it's now late March, it’s still cold outside.

  “My car has heat, come on.”

  “I can’t wait until I’m done being sick.”

  “I can imagine.”

  Like the other night, we cuddle in the front seat with the heat on. I feel safe again. But there’s something deep inside of me, like a caution light. I don’t know what it is. Ignoring it, I nuzzle against his chest, and he strokes my hair.

  “What did you mean earlier about losing me?” I ask. “You say it a lot.”

  “Nothing.”

  “Please tell me.”

  “I don’t want to think about it now. I want to enjoy being with you right now.”

  I reach up and touch his cheek pulling him to look at me. “Please. Let me in. You act like you’re going to lose me any minute. I don’t understand why. Did you have bad luck in prior relationships?”

  “Something like that.” He sighs. “She left me for someone else. No warning. No time for explanation. I hated every minute she wasn’t there. Now that we’re together, I’m scared the same thing will happen.”

  I raise my head. “Vincent, you have to trust me. I’m not gonna leave you.” I search his eyes, and there is the same doubt as before.

  “I wish I knew what I did.”

  “Maybe you didn’t do anything. Maybe she was fickle. I don’t know. But don’t think I’m like her. She’s not here. I am.”

  He studies me. A mix of pain and desire flash in his eyes. “You are different,” he says.

  I lean in, intertwining my fingers around his neck and kiss him. He kisses back with an urgent fervor. His warm fingers brush against my stomach sending a hot ache throughout my body. I want him closer and I hitch a leg over his. But I tire and have to catch my breath.

  He kisses my forehead and presses my head against his chest. “We should hold off on that. I want you to get better.” He lets out a long sigh.

  “What?”

  “I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve been looking for you for so long.”

  Why does he say such things? We are so young, and I don’t understand his intensity. “Why are you so intense?”

  I feel him shrug. “Does it bother you?”

  “No. I don’t understand it.”

  “I know that I love you and I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “You are so incredibly sweet. How did I get so lucky to find you?”

  “I’m the lucky one.” He brushes his lips across my forehead. “I wish I could be the one taking care of you.”

  “Come over during the day. Hide your car.”

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  “You might have to hide if one my parents come home.”

  He shakes his head. “So ridiculous.”

  I don’t know what he finds ridiculous. I get why my parents don’t want me alone at home with a boy. That doesn't mean I have to abide by it. “So, you’ll come over tomorrow?”

  He smirks. “I do have school, you know.”

  I kiss his cheek. “So, skip.”

  I move to his ear and nibble. He exhales a breath and squeezes my hips.

  “Okay,” he says through a pant.

  I smile. “I should go inside now.”

  “Sleep well, mon trésor,” he whispers in a sexy voice. Whenever he says that, it makes my insides turn to mush.

  “Good night, Vincent.” I get out of the car and make my way back inside my warm house.

  The skies are grey and the wind whips around me. The tall grass bends as I lay in it. I know a violent storm is brewing in the distance, but for some reason I don’t want to go back inside the palace. Vincent is gone and I miss him. But all this new information confuses me. I think of Casper and it only makes my insides twist. I can’t understand it.

  Something prods inside me, telling me things aren’t right with everything that is happening. Florence seems to tell me the truth, while Vincent’s words seem…wrong. But I know him. I trust him. Even if he did erase my memory of Casper. He claims I begged him. If Florence is right, he erased the memory of the true love I once had. Although, I cannot imagine myself falling in love with an Elf. It is wrong, b
ut it doesn't feel wrong.

  Wiping a tear, I close my eyes and see a flash of blond hair. Casper. He is kissing me as we lay in tall grass. I whisper to him, I love you. I’m yours forever. My eyes bolt open and I’m shaking.

  “Missing Vincent?” Florence stands over me.

  I sit up with my mouth open, pressing my hand to my beating heart.

  She sits down with me, the grass is tall enough that it hides us, and we watch the angry clouds build above us. “You remembered him, didn’t you?”

  I nod. “It’s a fragment of a memory. I told him I loved him. If Vincent erased my memories, how am I able to see bits and pieces?”

  “I am not sure. His ability has always been so strong.”

  I shake my head. “If I loved Casper, why would I ask Vincent to use it against me?”

  “I don’t think you asked Vincent. Casper would never torture you. Vincent is playing mind games with you.”

  “He loves me.”

  “Perhaps too much. And perhaps your love for Casper is too strong for Vincent’s ability.”

  I am not sure what to say or think.

  Florence places an arm around me and pulls me close. “I’m leaving tonight,” she whispers.

  “I should come with you,” I tell her.

  “No. You have to stay here. You have to try to find the Jewel. Do not mention the Elves or Casper.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “Three days maybe.”

  “How am I going to find this Jewel? I think Vincent left people to watch me.”

  “You have to be careful.”

  “Be careful.” I echo. That sounds easier.

  “Everything will be fine. And soon we will be living with them.”

  I’m not sure if I want to live with them if Casper is dead.

  Lightning flashes in the distance and thunder rumbles above.

  Florence grabs my hand and we get to our feet. She tows me toward the palace. We carried on as usual so as not to give anything away. Later that night, we hug and say goodbye. I tell her that I will try to find the Jewel and for her to be careful. And then she leaves.

  My phone beeps and I lazily open my eyes. I reach for it and smile when I see Vincent’s name. He’s parked down the street. I tell him I’ll be out in a second. I let the dogs outside and go to the front door and open it.