January Dreams

by Carrigan Richards

  “How are you?” Vincent comes inside and closes the door. He places his hands on my waist, drawing me closer.

  “I’m okay. How are you not going to get sick?”

  “I’ve had mono before.” He inhales a slow breath and runs his fingers along my arms which sends shivers all over. “Are you cold?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “You should probably go to my room. I gotta let my dogs in.”

  “Ah yes, I forgot you own a zoo.”

  I playfully hit his shoulder and he laughs. He turns to head upstairs, and I can’t believe Vincent is in my house. Alone with me. I open the door and all five dogs almost knock me over to get inside. I head upstairs and into my room.

  “Who got you these?” Vincent asks pointing to the calla lilies.

  My heart jumps to my throat. “Cherry,” I lie. Thankfully, I hid Casper’s note.

  He frowns. “I wish I had thought of that.”

  “You’ve had a lot going on.”

  He crosses the room to me and puts his hands on my hips. He brushes his nose with mine and kisses me chastely. I feel his fingers slip between my pajama pants and my skin. I stop his hands.

  “Behave.”

  “I can’t help it.” He grins.

  “It’ll happen. Just not right now. I’m all icky and sick.”

  “It could make you feel better. You’re definitely not icky. You’re beautiful.”

  I smile and feel heat pricking beneath my cheeks.

  His knuckles brush my cheeks. “Mon beau trésor. Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”

  Vincent pulls the blankets back and removes his shoes. I slip under the covers and he comes in after me, pulling me close to his body. His warmth radiates and I begin to relax.

  “If you hear anyone coming home, dart like hell to hide.”

  He laughs. “Of course.” He kisses my neck, and he holds me tighter. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For this. I’ve been so stressed for so long, and then I met you. You have given me nothing short of absolute happiness and you are the hope that stood at the end of my long, dark tunnel.”

  His words make me feel guilty. He hasn’t had the best life and still, as his mom lies in the hospital, he’s here with me.

  I kiss his hand and twist around to face him.

  His eyes well and my heart breaks for him.

  I pull his mouth down to mine and kiss him. I want him to know that I love him, that I care for him, and that I wouldn’t want it any other way. He brushes my hair back and caresses my face as he deepens the kiss. His lips are hot against mine making my heart pound faster. Heat pours over me as his hand slips under my top and touches my bare back. I catch my breath as his lips wander to my neck down to my shoulder and to my stomach. I clench my eyes and grip his hair at the soft caress of his lips on my naval. I feel my heart pounding everywhere, but I have to stop him, though I don’t want to. I want to feel his love like I do in the dreams.

  But something keeps nagging at me.

  Vincent drags his tongue along my skin upward toward my chest sending that hot ache throughout me. He pulls my shirt back down and kisses my cheek as I pant.

  When I open my eyes, he’s gazing at me with a sweet smile, and I blush.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, probably because I’m shaking.

  I nod.

  He pulls me close. “It’s okay. Take a deep breath.” His silky-smooth voice calms me.

  I chuckle once my breathing levels. “I liked it. A lot.”

  “Me too. I can’t wait,” he whispers. “Je t’aime, Megan.”

  I smile as my heart swells. “I love you.” I want Vincent to be my first. Cherry said when you know the one, you know. Prom will be the perfect night.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  I search for the Jewel in Vincent’s room and even in the underground cells, but a man catches me. I don’t recognize him, but he pushes me against the wall, calling me a traitor and threatening to use me as his own secret rendezvous. He throws me in a cell like I’m a prisoner, leaving me.

  A familiar pull brings me out of the cell, out of the palace, and I know I’m waking up.

  “Megan.” Someone is shaking me, and I open my eyes to see Vincent leaning over me with a concerned look. “Megan, are you okay? You’re crying.”

  I sit up and wipe my cheeks. The man in my dreams was Adam. I can’t catch my breath.

  Vincent pulls me to him, stroking my hair, and I clutch onto him inhaling his woodsy scent.

  “Good grief, you’re shaking. What happened?”

  “I had a dream.” That’s an understatement.

  “What about, baby?” He brushes his lips over my forehead.

  “It-it was.” It takes me a moment to get my words together. “Adam.”

  Vincent stills. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief, but the ominous tone in his voice scares me a little. Adam was shot. He is dead. Did Vincent read about that, too? “You heard?” I ask.

  “Heard what?”

  I turn, meeting his dark blue eyes. “He was shot and killed.” I see the shock register in his eyes, but it goes away.

  “Oh. No. I hadn’t heard that.”

  I don’t know why, but I feel paranoid or something. Is it from my dreams and how different I feel about Vincent that’s leaking into my real life? “What do you mean I don’t have to worry?”

  “Because I’m here to protect you. Why?” He looks at me and a crease forms between his eyebrows. “You think I had something to do with it?”

  I shake my head enthusiastically. “No. I’m on edge. The dream freaked me out.”

  I feel him relax beside me. “What happened?”

  “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” At least not with him. I can’t get rid of this stupid nagging feeling. What is it? It’s seriously messing with me.

  “You know I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Tell me what to do.”

  “There isn’t anything you can do. There’s nothing anyone can do.”

  “Have you talked to someone about that night?”

  “I told my mom.” I haven’t thought about that night or Adam in a while and I’m not sure why I dreamed about him. But I can’t help this sinking feeling that somehow Vincent knew Adam.

  He holds me a little while longer, then he leaves. I’m on edge. I’m locked in a cell in my dreams and I’ve been stuck inside this house for several weeks. I can’t stand any of it anymore. I start pacing my room like a mad woman. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to lay down. I want out of this house.

  I jog downstairs and walk outside in the backyard. I watch my dogs run and frolic with each other in the mist.

  “Megan, what are you doing outside?” Mom asks from the door.

  “I needed some air.”

  “Get back in here.”

  Rolling my eyes, I follow my dogs inside and she shuts the door. They jump on her and bark, excited that she’s home.

  Once they calm down, Mom checks my temperature and says I’m running a fever. Of course. I can’t stand this.

  “Take this and go lay down, sweetie,” she says, handing me some medicine.

  I swallow the pills and head back upstairs. I need to talk to Casper about the dream, but I promised Vincent I wouldn’t talk to him. He’s been texting me since the lilies came and I’ve not replied. I pick up my phone and thumb down to his name. My heart vibrates inside my chest. I can’t. I shouldn’t. Instead, I rest my phone on my nightstand.

  The cell is dark and cold, and I never hear any voices. Not even squeaking mice. It’s enough to drive anyone crazy. But as I’ve been here for however long, my mind has constantly been flashing with memories of Casper. The man I’d fallen in love and ran away with. The one whom I felt safe with no matter the circumstances. Slowly, I begin to remember everything and I’m not sure how that is possible. To think Vincent killed him makes my heart ache
like I’ve never felt before. The only thing that keeps me sane is thinking of Casper.

  The first time I laid eyes on him, I couldn’t help but stare. Vincent had left and I missed him terribly but there was something different about the man with beautiful, brown eyes. His golden blond hair was tied back in a ponytail at the nape. He was tall with lean muscles and his skin was the color of the sun. I had never seen him before, but we had Fairy Sprites come and go often.

  When he touched me, I didn’t want him to let go. I felt safe. Comfortable. Like I was where I was supposed to be. It was an extraordinary feeling—one that I had never felt before. We danced to several songs, laughing, and our eyes never strayed from one another. I never wanted the night to end. What a silly notion. It was crazy to be feeling such intensity toward a man I didn’t know. I had been with Vincent my whole existence—there was no one else.

  Until now.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I remember the night Vincent whisked me away from Casper, I asked him to take away my memories. Vincent had set the lantern on the small table and glared at me with cold, wounded eyes. He looked so worn-down and weak. As did I. I hated being on the run, but it was worth it.

  “Vincent, please,” I begged him.

  “All this time I thought you had been tortured,” he said, running his hands through his dark hair. His voice was rough as if he hadn’t slept in days. But by the looks of him, I didn’t think he had slept much in the past few years. His blue eyes were pinned to mine.

  “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” It was the truth. I loved Vincent, but not like I did with Casper.

  He shook his head. “Seven years, Megan. Seven years I thought they stole you and tortured you or worse killed you.” Tears pooled his eyes. “And you were having some affair with him.” His jaw twitched as he gripped the handle of his sword that hung on his belt. “You left me without a single word. No warning. Nothing. You vanished.”

  My chin quivered. It never occurred to me to leave some sort of letter. “Why would you send your men to kill me, then, if you thought they kidnapped me?”

  A crease formed between his eyebrows. “What are you talking about? I would never have you killed, Megan.” He took a step closer. “Is that why you left?”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t know why I left. You were always gone, and I-I fell in love with Cas-”

  “Don’t say his name,” he spat.

  I got to my feet. “I don’t know why. It was all so sudden. I love you, Vincent. I can’t explain what happened.”

  He stared at me for a long moment, then he let out a relaxed breath and closed his eyes. “I can’t believe this.”

  “What?”

  “The man manipulated you. Elves use their charm to get what they want. Did he have some ulterior motive as to why he was here?”

  I felt my knees weaken. Had Casper manipulated me so he could find the Jewel? Was that why I fell in love with him so deeply? It couldn’t be true. He spent seven years with me running and not searching for the Jewel. Now he was dead and the pain in my heart was too much for me. I had to tell Vincent something. I had to stay alive so I could find the Jewel for the Elves. For Casper. But I didn’t want to hurt Vincent any more than I already had. “He was looking for the Jewel.”

  “Of course. He charmed his way to your heart so he could get the Jewel. I should’ve known they would’ve tried something like that.”

  “Why would they do that to me?”

  Vincent stepped closer and pulled me into a tight embrace. “Megan. Of course, your love for him wasn’t real. He fooled you. I thought I lost you forever. I thought I had done something undeserving of your love.”

  I shook my head. “No, you did nothing. Tell me what I can do to make it better.” I drew back, searching his eyes.

  “Megan, having you here in my arms and knowing that you love me is enough. I never want to lose you. You are everything to me.”

  His words only made me cry harder. I had never felt such a heavy guilt, but my grief for Casper weighed on me more. Our love was real, it had to be. I wanted to hold on to that forever, but I would never truly be with Vincent with that knowledge. I had to let go of Casper. I had to be free of him I couldn’t live knowing he was dead.

  “Megan, please don’t cry.”

  I wiped the tears from my cheeks and peered up into his eyes. “Take my memory away.”

  Vincent stilled. “What?”

  I drew a ragged breath. “Take it all away. Why should that Elf even possess an inch of my mind? I don’t want to remember how I was made a fool.” I hated the words I spoke, but I needed to be with Vincent. We were supposed to be together. I loved him, even if that love didn’t compare to what I felt for Casper. But that was what I was supposed to do.

  He cradled my head in his hands, staring into my eyes with a heated gaze. “I’ll take it all away. Every last memory of him.”

  And Vincent erased it all.

  But now my memories returned, and as I sit in this cold cell alone, they are all I have. I know for a fact that my love for Casper was real and that his love was real. I do not wish to cause Vincent more pain, but his men have tried to kill me repeatedly. I have to pretend my mind has not remembered anything, if I am ever saved from this cell.

  I will have my vengeance one day.

  But for now, I hug my knees, and weep for Casper. My heart has never felt so broken. The pain overwhelms me. It fills my lungs like water from the ocean. I cry so hard and scream so loud, knowing no one can hear me. No one can hear my heart breaking into pieces or me drowning in the tears. I hold onto my memory of Casper. I have to be strong.

  If Vincent releases me, I will continue to pretend to love him with all my heart. And all the while, I will look for the Jewel. Once I find it, I will return it to the Elves. For Casper. For the man who will always be the true owner of my heart.

  Chapter Forty

  Biting my lip, I get out of my car in the high school parking lot. It feels so good to be outside and smell the fresh air, not in my front yard or in Vincent’s car. Weeks of being cooped up in my house drove me crazy. I feel good. Except for the stupid dreams. I can’t decide which made me crazier, the dreams or my sickness. Why are my dreams so against Vincent? Is something trying to tell me something about him?

  I’m eager to be at school. To see Cherry. Vincent. And yes. To see Casper. But I will never admit that to him. He sent texts a few times, but I ignored them. I feel bad that I’ve not replied, but I told Vincent I wouldn’t. Every time I think about it, there’s a strange ache in my stomach. It’s so stupid.

  The last few weeks I spent my nights with Vincent in secret. And after my most recent dream, I feel like the worst person ever. How could I leave Vincent like that? I know they’re dreams, but it makes me feel like a shady person.

  I shake my head hoping to free my mind from these stupid dreams. I grab my backpack and shut my car door.

  “There’s my girl,” Vincent says, making his way toward me.

  “Hey.”

  He kisses me softly, using an inch of his tongue, which is enough to make me turn to mush. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good.” I look to the school building. “I feel a little awkward, though.”

  “Why’s that?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Feels like it’s my first day of school or something. I’ve missed so many days and I did all my work, but it still feels weird to be here.”

  “Trust me. You’ll feel like you used to in no time. Dreading to be at school. Shall we?” He offers his hand and I take it.

  We walk inside and posters of prom are all over the walls. I wonder if Vincent will ask me. When I reach my locker, Cherry squeals and pulls me into a tight hug.

  “Omigod! It’s been forever! I know we talked all the time but whatever.” Her face lights up and it makes me smile. I missed her.

  “I know. It feels weird being here.”

  “I bet.”

  “I’ll leave you t
wo girls to it.” Vincent curls his lips into a sexy smile and walks away.

  “He’s so hot,” Cherry mumbles as she watches him walk down the hall.

  I clear my throat and cross my arms in a joking manner.

  She turns back to me. “What? It’s true.”

  “Can’t deny that.”

  “So, I wanted to wait and tell you this in person.” Her blue eyes are wild and excited. “Luke asked me to the prom.” She giggles.

  “That’s great.” I giggle with her.

  She hooks her arm with mine. “We have to go dress shopping.”

  I roll my eyes and turn my head down the hall. I stiffen when I meet those familiar brown eyes. My heart jumps and my breath catches in my throat. I bite my lip, trying to calm down because I don’t wanna give myself away in front of Cherry. But Casper and I gaze at each other with such intensity. It reminds me of my dream.

  I force myself to break his gaze and tug Cherry toward our class. She doesn’t seem to notice and I’m thankful.

  The whole day I think about Casper and that deep look in his eyes. I don’t want to go to English, but I have to.

  As soon as Casper walks into the room, I have the urge to run and hug him with everything I have. To run my hands through his soft, blond hair or to feel his lips on mine. I close my eyes tight and take a deep breath. When I open them, I focus on the blank piece of paper in front of me. Why do I feel like this? Why are my dreams messing with my head? I take a deep breath and get through the class. I feel his eyes on me the whole time. Like old times.

  The bell rings and I’m out the door to my locker. The faster I can leave, the faster I won’t have to talk to him.

  “Megan.” The way he says my name makes me want to wrap myself in his arms. “Why did you stop talking to me?”

  I brave a look into his deep, brown eyes. “Casper, we-I can’t talk to you anymore.”

  His eyes narrow. “This again?”

  “Vincent and I are together.”