January Dreams

by Carrigan Richards

  “And that matters why? We’ve been talking this whole time.”

  “You know why.”

  “Because he won’t allow you to talk to me?”

  I look away and close my locker.

  “I can’t believe you’re letting him win.”

  My eyes cut to his. “This isn’t about winning. You know I’m with Vincent.”

  “So, you’re okay with the fact that he lied to you about jumping me? He’s manipulating you.”

  “Funny. He said the same about you.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Soon, he won’t be jealous of only me. He’ll be jealous of Cherry and your family. You’re so blinded by him.”

  “Why should you even care? Ugh. I’m so sick of this.”

  Casper moves close. Dangerously close. He doesn’t touch me, but I feel the tension between us. I want to kiss him. “I know you feel it, too,” he whispers, and I can’t stop the humming inside my body. “Truth is, I’ve tried to forget about you, but I can’t. You challenge me and make me see things differently.”

  Heat rushes to my cheeks and I roughly push him away. “I feel nothing when I’m around you. I’ve liked you. It’s an unfortunate circumstance that I dream about you.” I’m glad my voice sounds stronger than I thought it would.

  Casper flinches. He slightly opens his mouth as if to say something but turns around and walks down the empty hallway.

  I had to do it. I have to forget about him.

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been in the cell, but I know my days are numbered. They’ve barely fed me or given me water and I can feel myself getting worse. Which, a small part of me doesn’t mind because maybe I can see Casper in death.

  I hear voices. Loud and angry. Coming closer. The door flies open, and light filters inside.

  “Megan,” I hear Vincent scream. I see a dark figure rush over to me and lift me in his lap. “You fools. What have you done?” he shouts toward the door. He kisses my forehead and lifts me in his arms and carries me out of the dark cell. “I’m so sorry, Megan. Please forgive me.”

  My mouth is dry, my body shriveled into nothing, my heart lost. I have no will to speak.

  In the days that follow, I’m nursed back to health, and Vincent never leaves my side. I never doubted his love for me, but I doubt his character.

  “Why did they force me in that cell?” I ask Vincent as I lay in bed and he sits in a chair beside me.

  His dark blue eyes look remorseful. He takes my hands in his and kisses my fingers. “They will never harm you again. They have been exiled. They thought you were a traitor.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “They think you willingly ran away with the Elves.”

  “I was kidnapped,” I lie, keeping my innocent composure.

  “I know.” He frowns.

  “They mentioned Florence and that I was involved in her wrongdoing. What happened? I swear I don’t know anything—”

  “I know.” He presses his lips in a thin line and hesitates. “Megan, Florence was killed.”

  My heart pounds and I feel faint. The dizziness settles over me and I can’t stop my tears. “Why?”

  “She was trying to escape to the Elves.”

  “What?”

  “I’m afraid it’s true.”

  “How could she do such a thing? Why was she killed?” I have to keep my composure, but I can’t believe they killed her. It’s hard to keep the truth hidden when I want to lash out so much. Does he lie to me for his benefit or because he erased my memory?

  “She resisted our men.”

  “Why wasn’t she punished? Why did they have to kill her?” My voice rises.

  “I’m so sorry, Megan. She betrayed us.”

  “How do you know that? The Elves could’ve used her. She would never willingly betray us, Vincent.”

  “Did she talk to you while I was away?”

  “Of course, we talked. We’re friends.”

  He shakes his head. “I meant about the Elves.”

  “No. Why would she?”

  “Try to convince you to leave with her.”

  “This doesn’t make sense. You said the Elves erased her mind of them. Why would she run back to them if they did that?”

  He swallows hard. “Megan, you really need to rest. Don’t work yourself into a frenzy.”

  I can’t help but wonder if he’s holding something back. I know he killed Casper, but only because he thought I was being tortured. Right? But now I hear our own kind killed Florence. Why didn’t they punish her? Was it the same men who tried to kill me all those years on the run? Who threw me in a cell to rot until Vincent returned?

  Is Vincent behind all of this? The man I have loved my whole life. No. Vincent would never hurt me. He only did what he thought was right. But something feels wrong.

  I know I should move on from the Elves, but I feel like I have to help them now that Casper and Florence are dead. My heart aches. I will help the Elves, even if it means die trying. I can’t tell Vincent any of it. I did a terrible thing to him by leaving. I look into his dark blue eyes. He loves me so deeply, but somehow, I’m wary of him.

  “Vincent, please don’t leave me again,” I tell him, with tears in my eyes.

  “I will do everything in my power, but sometimes there’s nothing I can do. There will always be wars among us and the Elves.”

  I nod, understanding.

  “Believe me, Megan. I hate leaving you.”

  “I’m so lonely when you’re gone. What if they put me in a cell again?” I know I’m making him feel guilty, but I can’t help it. I need a distraction so I won’t think of Casper and this Elf thing. Can I even still find the Jewel and bring it back to them? Being in that cell made me lose my willpower it seems.

  “They will never hurt you again. I will kill every single one of them if they ever lay a hand on you. You have my word.”

  I hear the strong conviction in his voice, and I know he means it. A tear escapes from my eyes.

  “Do not cry. I am here. I love you, mon trésor.” He kisses me and I wrap my arms around him, wishing with everything inside me that it was Casper. “Now that you are recovering, we shall have a party. A masquerade. Those are your favorites.” He smiles.

  “Only if you wear my favorite mask.”

  “Always.”

  He leaves, and I lose my smile. They killed Casper. Florence. Everyone that I love. Once I find the Jewel, I’m gone. I will never return to this place or to Vincent.

  Chapter Forty-One

  I’m so tired by the time work ends. I slowly got back into the groove of my school and work schedule this week, but I’m still taking baby steps. I hate it. As I get close to my car, I see Vincent leaning against it with a red rose in his hand and a sweet smile on his face. I can’t help but smile.

  “What’s this?” I ask.

  “Just something nice.” He hands it to me, and I inhale the sweet scent. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer. My heart races when he does that. “I was curious if you would like to go to the prom with me.” With the way his lips curl into a smoldering smile and the hopeful look in his eyes, I can’t refuse him.

  “Of course.”

  His smile widens and he crushes his lips to mine, kissing me so hard it almost hurts. He slightly pulls back. “You’re mine,” he whispers across my cheek.

  “I am yours and you are mine.”

  Vincent’s mouth is on mine. A flash explodes in my mind and I see Vincent standing near a cliff, watching the waves down below, weeping.

  He tries pulling away from me, but I stay with the vision. I recognize the cliff. His grief overwhelms me. His suffocation and the excruciating pain feels like being pulled underwater. His heart is breaking as he peers down at the chaotic water.

  We pull apart.

  “What was that?” I ask, breathless. The cliff is the same one from my dreams.

  I see tears gleam in his eyes, but he doesn’t answer. Why was he weeping?

  “What
was that cliff? I’ve seen it before.”

  His eyes flick to mine with an intense gaze. “What?”

  “The cliff. I recognize it.”

  Vincent stares at me as if he knows something or can detect my lying, but I feel like he’s holding something back as well. Then I remember something. In my dreams, Vincent’s gift was showing me memories. Did my dreams predict that too?

  “What are these visions? Are you doing that? Are you making me see things?”

  He bows his head but holds my hands tightly. “Yes.”

  I stiffen. “What? How is that possible?” I try to pry my hands from his grasp, but he won’t let go. “What’s going on? What are these visions?” My breathing picks up and I feel everything around me closing in.

  “Please, calm down.”

  “How are you doing that? Why did you show me you weeping? You once told me about a girl who broke your heart. Were you weeping for her?”

  “I have no control over visions.” He pauses. “And yes, for her.”

  My heart drops and my eyes water. “Why are you still thinking about her? Do you love her?”

  The look in his eyes hardens. “Yes.”

  I draw a sharp breath and suddenly feel queasy.

  “Megan it isn’t what you think.”

  I can be rational. I’m not going to get upset. I will let him explain. “Is it your mom?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Who is she?” I demand trying to keep what little restrain I have left. “Why would you get involved with me if you’re still crying over someone else?” I push him hard, but he moves back and puts his hands on either side of me on the car.

  “Don’t get dramatic. Let me explain.”

  I push him again and he sighs removing his hands. I open my car door, but he shuts it back. “Vincent,” I shout. I lose the battle with the tears. I’m so angry and hurt and confused. My boyfriend is actually the one causing visions, as if that’s even possible, and he’s still in love with someone else.

  “Megan, it’s you,” he finally says.

  My body stills. “What?”

  “I’m crying over you.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  He hesitates and sighs, running a hand through his thick hair. “Don’t be upset,” he says, moving closer. “I have no control over what you see. I don’t want to fight.”

  I rub my face and lean against my car. “I don’t even know what’s going on. What are these visions? You seem to know more than you’re letting on.”

  “I’ll explain it. Not now, please. Don’t be upset. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  Why can’t he explain it now? Maybe if I go home, I can keep my distance. Or something. I want to leave. “I need to go. I’ll call you.”

  “Megan—”

  “I just-I need to go. I’ll call you.”

  He sighs. “It’s my fear inside me. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had these visions. Ever since I met you.”

  “So, why are you crying, Vincent?”

  He takes a deep breath and gives me a knowing look.

  “You still think I’m going to leave you. Why can’t you trust me? What have I done to make you not trust me?”

  He wavers. “Nothing.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “The visions cloud my mind. I-I can’t explain it right now.”

  “Why?” Why is he hesitant and fumbling over his words? “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  Okay, I can respect that, especially if it’s as crazy as me sharing dreams with another man. “Fine. Then tell me what do I have to do to prove to you that I’m not leaving you? I can’t be with you if all I’m having to do is prove my commitment to you. I’m here to stay.”

  “It’s my subconscious. My mind is crazy because of my mom and with all the stupid Casper stuff. I trust you,” he says but I can tell he’s still holding back. I know he’s scared, but after we talked about it, I hoped he would be done with this. “I’m not an easy person to love. I know that. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up, but I love you Megan. You are everything to me.” He steps closer and cups my chin. “It feels like we’ve known each other forever. I need you. I would crumble apart if I didn’t have you. I’m so sorry for scaring you and I promise I’ll tell you soon.”

  I can’t help but soften at his words and the pleading look in his eyes. It’s intense, but I love Vincent and I have no intention of letting him go. I brush my knuckles on his cheek and he closes his eyes. I pull him closer and kiss him, softly. “You have to trust me,” I whisper and kiss his forehead.

  He nods. “It’s just hard for me. But I promise in due time, I will.”

  “Okay.” I know I should beat it out of him, but I can’t. I have my own secrets that I’m not ready to delve right into either. Still, this whole thing is bizarre.

  On my way home, I can’t help but feel a little weirded out that Vincent admitted to producing visions. Like in my dreams. I can’t get over how my life is so similar to my dreams. There’s no way the dreams could be true. There’s no way any of this is connected.

  Then it hits me. Like I’ve been punched right in the chest. In my dreams, I left Vincent for Casper. Can Vincent see my dreams when we kiss? That’s the only thing I can think of that makes any sense. Sort of. Maybe he can read my mind or take images from my mind. Maybe that’s why he’s so scared and so jealous of Casper.

  I shake my head and sigh. This is the most ridiculous thing. Ever.

  I have to talk to someone. Not Casper. Not Vincent. I have to tell Cherry, because I’m losing my mind and I need some kind of sanity in my life. And normalcy.

  I call Cherry on my way home and ask for a girl’s night tomorrow. She agrees. I’m on the verge of ugly crying, but I hang up and pull into my driveway. I sit for a moment thinking I will feel better once I tell Cherry everything. All of it. Maybe it will loosen some of the weight off my shoulders. But I’m scared of her reaction. What if I lose my best friend because thinks I need to be locked up in a looney bin?

  I let out a long sigh and go inside.

  When I fall asleep, my dreams are rather tame, which is fine by me. Life at the palace goes on as normal, except I still search for the Jewel. I have no luck. I am almost sure someone actually buried it. Or threw it into the sea. Vincent busies himself with organizing the masquerade and I even find a dress. I miss Florence even more. And when I cry, Vincent holds me thinking I’m weeping only for Florence, but I also weep for Casper. My one true love who was murdered.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  The sun is shining, and the skies are blue with little wispy clouds here and there. It’s a beautiful Friday and I’m excited to spend some time with Cherry. Even though we’re shopping for my prom dress, I’m not sure I’ll even wear it to prom with the way mine and Vincent’s relationship has gone.

  I’ve managed to ignore Casper all week since the first day I saw him, but his eyes are still focused on me in class. I don’t want to admit it, but I do miss him. It was so easy to be around him. So natural.

  I’m in English, the last class of the day, and I’m counting down the minutes until I can leave this hellhole. Vincent was right. Eventually, my ornery feelings toward school would return.

  “For our last project,” Mr. Burress says. “I’m going to let you partner up, but I’m going to assign your partner. Clare, you’ll team up with Demi.” He continues to go down the list and he gets to my name. “Megan, you and Casper will team up since you two did an excellent job on the last project.”

  I can’t move and my heart is pounding. Why is this happening? I can’t work with him again. How am I going to explain this to Vincent? He’ll never believe that Mr. Burress put us together twice, which he didn’t, but that’s what Vincent thinks. I hold my head in my hands and I hear Casper plop down in the desk next to me.

  He sighs. “Your boyfriend gonna be okay with this? Or are you gonna have to get a permission slip from Mr. Burre
ss?”

  I clench my teeth. He’s such a jerk. “Maybe if you stopped lying to me, he wouldn’t have such a problem with you.”

  He glares at me. “That’s right. Make excuses for him.”

  “You’re being a jerk.”

  “Whatever. Why don’t you do us both a favor and stop playing Vincent and me. It’s really quite pathetic that you only talk to me when you’re fighting with him.”

  He thinks that? I soften. Maybe I do only talk to him when we’re fighting. I feel terrible. I ignore him the rest of the class and meet Cherry at her house after school, still irritated over Casper, but I hide it.

  “I’m so excited that you’re here,” Cherry says with a wide smile. “It’s been forever.”

  “I know. It feels good to not be at home.”

  “I can imagine.” She bites her lip and I know she wants to ask what I want to talk about, but she won’t. She always waits until I’m ready.

  “About last night, I’ll tell you. I want to get my mind off things first.”

  “Sure. Wanna see my prom dress?” she squeals. It’s hard not to smile from her excitement.

  “Yes!”

  She tows me to her bedroom and pulls up the plastic cover, revealing a beautiful red ball gown. It’s strapless with a diamond zigzag pattern across the top.

  “You’re going to look like a queen, Cherry.”

  “I cannot wait, Megan. Can you believe we both have dates for prom? The cosmic gods are on our side this year.”

  I give a small smile, thinking that the cosmic gods have seriously warped my mind. I start thinking about Casper again and his stupid allegations. What makes him think I’m playing him and Vincent?

  “Come on,” Cherry says. “Let’s go.”

  I nod, but I’m letting the anger take over. We get in her car and I accidentally slam the door.

  “Hey! Roberto does not appreciate that.”

  I sigh. “Sorry.”

  “What has you so riled up all of a sudden?”

  “Who is he to say Vincent is manipulating me? Why should he care?”

  “Who?”

  “Casper.”

  Cherry lets out a long annoyed groan. “Seriously, when are you going to forget about Casper?”