Pieces of You

by Kate Benson

  I can also say with complete confidence there’s not a single woman on the planet outside of Ava Wildman who could have changed that, either.

  Every day, every passing second that I’m with her, it’s obvious that each and every breath I took before she came into my life was simply preparing me for all the ones she’d take away.

  Preparing me for her.

  It took a while before the texts and calls from Eddie slowed down. At first, he was relentless. That first week alone was a real testament to both my strength and Ava’s. However, despite her fears, she kept her promise and told me immediately, grateful beyond words when I called in a favor to a few police friends I’ve known since grade school. With everything going on with my mom, there was no way I could have ditched work to stay with them and we knew that. Nevertheless, when I wasn’t with them, I’d make damn sure they were safe by any means necessary.

  Eventually, word spread and made its way back to him the way it tends to when you live in a small town. Whether he finally took the hint or simply lost interest in the chase, we may never know, but knowing Ava is safe from that monster has been good enough for me.

  Our days weren’t all sunshine and rainbows by any means.

  Hell, some days were filled with nothing short of the crazy she’d promised was lurking deep beneath those sweet blue eyes, but there’s no way I’d have made it through the last few months without her. She’s become my rock, my saving grace on the kind of days you hope and pray you never have to live twice. She’s also been there for all the in-betweens, never wavering, never straying far from my side no matter what comes our way.

  As crazy as things have been on some days, not a single one has passed since that I wouldn’t swear God made Ava for me and me alone.

  She’s become everything I never knew I needed and then some.

  I step out of the truck and make my way toward reception, quickly scrawling my name onto the now familiar sign in sheet, giving the nurse a quick wave.

  “Hello, Mr. Foster,” she smiles, moving back toward her desk.

  “Hey,” I return her smile. “How’s she doing today?”

  “Seems to be good,” she says, her smile moving into something a little more sympathetic. “She just finished eating and was watching some television when I went in to see her a little while ago.”

  “Okay,” I nod, steeling myself for the short walk down the hallway toward her room. I give her door a quick tap and push my way inside, my smile wide for her when I meet her eyes. “Hey Ma,” I call out, grateful when she beams right back at me. I make my way across the small room and lean in, kissing her cheek. “How are you?”

  “I’m good, baby,” she smiles, patting the arm of the chair. “How’s my boy?”

  “I’m doing pretty good,” I admit, taking a seat and glancing around the room, swallowing my sadness as I take in her new surroundings. The day I had to talk to her, tell her she’d have to come here and leave the only home she’d known for her entire adult life was one of the hardest of mine. It was one of those days I really needed Ava and she was there. “How are you feeling today?” I ask, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, giving her my attention. “Did you sleep a little better last night?”

  “I feel like I did,” she says, wringing her hands slightly in thought before her eyes flit back to mine, her lips curving up when she sees the worry on my face. “I think so.”

  “Good,” I nod. “You look like you’re feeling better than you were last night. And I see Ava was here,” I smile wider, taking in her styled hair. “She did a good job. You’re lookin’ pretty foxy.”

  “Yeah, she was in here fussin’ over me real early this morning,” she admits, gently touching the pretty barrette in her hair before she bats her eyelashes playfully, making me chuckle. “She was going to do my nails for me, but she had to leave to go somewhere. I can’t recall where now.”

  “She had an early shift this morning,” I explain, pulling a nod from her. I study her for a moment, doing my best to memorize her features, cement this moment in time where she’s still as much her as she will be again and lock it up in my heart along with all the others, swallowing the sadness of what’s lurking in the future.

  “She’s a sweet girl, Nathan,” she says, pulling me from my emotional thoughts as I give her another nod. “You know I’d never wish for anything more than you and your daddy, but she’s like the daughter I never had.”

  “She’s pretty terrific,” I agree, gesturing toward the two bottles of polish on her nightstand. “Which color did you want?”

  “This one,” she says, reaching for the rosy pink. “I thought about doing it myself, but I’ve been so shaky lately, I don’t dare.”

  “Well, maybe I can help,” I shrug as I take it from her, giving it a gentle shake like I’ve seen her and Ava do so many times before. “Let me see.”

  I take her hand, carefully pulling the small brush from the bottle and gliding the paint over her nail, studying it close before moving on.

  “I actually wanted to talk to you about Ava,” I admit, dipping the brush back in.

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I reply, glancing up to find her watching me sweetly, happy with the nod of approval she gives me before I move on to the next nail.

  This conversation is one I’d been putting off simply because it makes things real. Over the last two months, things have progressed so quickly with my mom’s health, it won’t be long until we simply can’t talk like this anymore. I’d argued with nurses, called her doctor’s crazy and blatantly denied what’s been staring me in the face since this all began. However, I know deep down, especially now, that this is unfortunately all too real. No matter how hard I fight it, I know it won’t be long until all I’ve got left are pieces of her.

  Although it’s far too early for me to have this kind of talk with Ava, it’s nearly too late for me to have it with my mom.

  “Is she alright?” she asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I nod, giving her an apologetic smile for having slipped away. “Yeah, she’s good. I just wanted to talk to you about how things are going with us.”

  “Are you still happy?”

  “I am,” I admit, smirking at her smile as it widens. “Yeah, Ava makes me really happy, Ma. I love her very much.”

  “I know you do, honey,” she sighs, patting my cheek with her free hand. “I’m so glad the two of you have each other.”

  “Me, too,” I sigh, reaching for her other hand once the first is painted. “I think somewhere down the line, not right now, but some time, I might be asking her to marry me.”

  “Nathan!” she exclaims, pulling her dry hand from mine and covering her mouth with it, her eyes growing glassy with unfallen tears. “Oh, Nathan,” she says again, her hand moving to rest over her heart. “Do it. Do it right now.”

  “Right now?” I raise my eyes to hers, unable to keep the deep chuckle from slipping out of my broad chest. “Mama, I can’t ask her right now.”

  “Well, why can’t you?”

  “It’ll run her off, Ma!” I snort. “Besides, if I leave it up to you, you’ll have me stuffing her engagement ring in a pie or something ridiculous.”

  “Oh, that’s a load of hibbity jibbity,” she waves me off with a laugh of her own.

  “It is not,” I argue with a smirk. “She’ll freak out and be runnin’ for the hills in no time if I ask her right now,” I shake my head. “We haven’t even known each other a year yet…”

  “That’s plenty of time,” she cuts me off.

  “Not for her, Ma. You know she’s been through hell already.”

  “If you’re not going to ask her now, then when, Nathan?” she insists. “You know, I’m not getting any younger.”

  “That’s not true, Ma. You are getting younger. I barely recognized you when I came in here,” I tease, grinning when she releases a girlish giggle. “Anyway, I guess I just wanted to know how you felt about me asking her.”
>
  “I think it’s a wonderful idea, honey,” she promises, her eyes still teary. “I don’t think you’ll find another girl like that one. She’s a keeper.”

  “Yeah, I think so, too.”

  “And I hate to be one of those ‘I told you so’ types, but…” she trails off, making me laugh once more. “I certainly did tell you so.”

  “I know you did, Ma.”

  “And you know what that means, don’t you?”

  “Hmm?” I hum, gesturing toward her now finished hand to get her approval, happy when she nods. “What’s that mean?”

  “It means you should always, always, always listen to your mother,” she winks, her words making my lips spread wide in amusement.

  “You’re absolutely right,” I agree, leaning over to kiss her cheek, memorizing her kind and happy eyes for the tenth time since I stepped inside her room this afternoon. “I have been, Ma,” I promise, taking her hand, careful not to ruin her new nail polish. “It may not have always looked that way, but I was listening.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Ava

  “Nate?” I call out as I step inside the house, the odd feel of Mary not being inside still unusual, even though weeks have come and gone. “Baby? Are you here?”

  “Yeah,” he calls out and I follow the sound of his voice. “We’re back here,” he calls again, luring me toward the kitchen. I find him in the doorframe, the back door open wide as Rocky runs around the fenced yard, chasing his favorite ball. “Hi, baby,” he smiles, pulling me under his arm and returning my kiss. “How’s my girl? How was work?”

  “I’m good,” I reply. “And it was fine. The shift just seemed longer than usual. How about you? How was your day?”

  “I’m alright. Work was about the same for me,” he smiles, his eyes moving over my face as he takes his time looking me over. “How’d you sleep last night?”

  “Better than I thought I would,” I admit, pulling a pleased nod from him as he begins to rub my back affectionately. “Better than the night before.”

  “You’re gettin’ there, sugar,” he promises encouragingly, and his words make me nod quietly to myself.

  Today makes a week since Nate had finally helped me work up my courage to take the long walk up the stairs at my father’s house that I’ve been avoiding since I came home.

  It’s funny, the things we grow scared of once we’re older. I’d lost count of the sleepless nights I’ve spent staring at the ceiling above the couch, praying for the bravery I needed to do something as simple as go upstairs in my own home. I knew logically there was nothing to be afraid of, it would be the same rooms it had always been, but somehow completely different now.

  I guess that’s also what fueled my anxiety.

  My dad wouldn’t be up there, and neither was the girl that had left him behind.

  All the things I’d been running away from since the day I buried them both and stepped back inside would finally become real the second I walked up those stairs.

  That night had been a hard one in our relationship, but at the same time, it had been a true testament to Nate’s love for me.

  After all, how many men would sleep on their girlfriend’s couch for months, taking the feel of them lying against their chest over a restful night’s sleep?

  How many men would hold their hands while they sobbed at the foot of a staircase only to make it halfway up before falling apart all over again, finally mourning the first man who ever held her heart?

  I can’t imagine many others would have stuck around for that meltdown, but I do know that railing isn’t the only thing I’m holding onto for dear life.

  As long as he’ll have me, I won’t ever leave Nate’s side.

  “Are you alright?” he asks, pulling me from my emotional thoughts, the concern in his eyes making me smile soft up at him.

  “Yes. I’m just a little tired. These early shifts are kicking my butt.”

  “Yeah, I bet,” he sighs. “They’re kicking mine, too.”

  “You get an hour and a half longer than I do.”

  “Yeah, but you always wake me up makin’ all that racket downstairs,” he teases. “And I don’t ever sleep all that well once you leave.”

  “Good save,” I smirk, giving him a kiss on his jaw as I pull away, moving toward the stack of mail sitting on the counter.

  My mind begins to wander, thinking back to the first time I’d come inside this house and how different things were then, how different I was then. Since the night of that first dinner, from the outside looking in, the differences in my life may seem like they were night and day. However, I knew better.

  The only thing that had really changed was them.

  I’m not an overly spiritual person. I’ve always prayed, always believed there was something out there bigger than me calling the shots. However, if I’m being honest, there was a long time back in my other life, the one I’d shared with Eddie, when I found it hard to believe there was ever anyone looking out for me.

  The second these two people walked into my life, I knew I’d been wrong all those restless, weary nights.

  Someone was watching, I just hadn’t gotten to the good parts yet.

  Losing my dad, my nightmare of a marriage to Eddie, all of it changed me into someone I didn’t recognize.

  Slowly, Nate’s been helping that girl find her way back.

  It’s been a slow process, the thought of giving up likely making him think on changing his mind more than once. He never did, though. Every day, he’s shown up and held my hand on this insanely emotional journey, his courage picking up the slack for me on the days I wasn’t sure I’d pull through on my own.

  “Hey,” Nate says, his voice low and even as his fingertips brush over my waist, pulling my eyes back to his. “You okay?”

  When I was younger, I thought Eddie was God’s way of making up for taking my mom when I was young. I’d been wrong about that, but when I think about the last few months with Nate, it feels like maybe He’s making up for something.

  “Yeah,” I reply, my lips curving up when I realize for the first time in a long time, it’s true. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “Good,” he smiles, kissing my hair.

  “So, what’s on the agenda for this afternoon?” I ask, glancing up at him. “What do we need to be doing?”

  “I think I already did everything that needed doing. I’m gonna head up to check in on mom in a minute. I haven’t been up there yet today,” he sighs, taking in the small kitchen. I don’t miss the sadness in his eyes. “It’s still weird, her not being here.”

  “Yeah. I know, baby,” I say low as I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him closer. “But after that last fall, it just wasn’t safe for her to be here on her own anymore. You did the right thing.”

  “I know,” he admits, clearing the emotion from his throat. “It doesn’t matter how right it was, though. It still sucks.”

  “I know that, too.”

  He presses his lips to my hair once more, giving my shoulders a gentle squeeze of affection before he glances back down at me, his lips quirking up into a small smile.

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  We let the words linger there for a moment, soaking up the one good thing before we focus on the rest. It isn’t long until the sound of Rocky’s paws tapping against the linoleum pulls us away from each other.

  “Hey buddy,” I smile, bending to give his chin a scratch and smiling at how he basks in the attention. I lean down, giving his head a pat when he rolls over, paws angled to give me all the access I need for a proper belly rub. Once Nate crouches beside me, joining me in loving on Rocky, his tail wags so intensely, it pulls a chuckle from us both. “If you give me a few minutes to shower and get changed, I’ll help you with whatever you need.”

  “Thank you,” Nate replies, reaching for my hand when he stands and pulling me to my feet, much to Rocky’s disappointment. “You’re tired, though. Why don’t you stay home tonight
, try and relax,” he offers. “I’m just running over to see Mom and don’t plan on being long.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah,” he nods. “Besides, it’s Wednesday. She had a couple of appointments early, so she might be just as worn out as we are.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “Go home and rest. I’ll grab us something to eat on the way back and we can watch a movie or something if you want,” he says as we make our way toward the door together. “We can just have an easy night.”

  “Okay,” I smile through my yawn, my heart warming when he kisses my temple and gives me a playful swat on the ass.

  “Your butt looks good in those jeans,” he says as I reach the bottom step of the porch, Rocky at my feet.

  “You think so, huh?” I blush, making him nod.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replies. “That ass looks like you might want to take a nap while I’m gone, sugar. Tired or not, you’re gonna be up late tonight.”

  “Promise?” I tease as I turn to find him nodding his reply.

  “You keep smiling at me like that and I might just take your hot little ass down in the middle of the yard, baby girl,” he winks on his way to the truck, smiling wider when I giggle. “Call me if you need me.”

  “You, too.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Nate

  The daily drive to the building my mom’s calling home now only takes about ten minutes, but the thoughts inside my head always make it seem like hours. Although I know the decision to put her in a place where she can receive constant treatment is what’s best for her, I’m not sure I’ll ever shake the guilt that comes with it.

  Instead of focusing on that and tainting our short visit with my own negativity, I try as hard as I can to think about Ava.

  It’s enough to put a small smile on my lips as I pull into my usual spot.

  About a month had passed since the talk I’d had with mom about asking Ava to marry me. I haven’t worked up the nerve to ask her yet. Truth be told, I don’t think she’s ready for me to do it, either, but that hasn’t stopped my mom from asking about it every time I see her. It’s added a little extra pressure, but I always know if she’s asking, it means she’s having a good day… she remembers.