Double Clutch

by Liz Reinhardt

He laughed and pulled his hat off, running his hand over his shower-damp hair. “You know what I mean. So these are your friends?” He threw a pointed look at the group clustered nearby, watching us without looking too obvious about it.

  “Hey Jake.” Kelsie waved and smiled. “This is Chris, Amanda, Joey and Megan, and this is Saxon.”

  Jake nodded and smiled politely until he saw Saxon. His mouth thinned into a hard line. “Saxon.”

  “Hey Jake.” Saxon dragged on his cigarette and talked through the smoke that billowed out of his mouth. “How’s it going?”

  “Alright.” Jake pulled me closer to his side possessively.

  Did they know each other? There was an animosity between them that crackled in the air. I gave Jake a questioning look, but he shook his head slightly, letting me know he couldn’t talk about it there.

  The weird vibes suffocated the group into an awkward silence, but neither of the guys looked ready to do more than glare.

  “Maybe we should go and buy tickets,” I suggested.

  “Good idea.” Kelsie raised her eyebrows at the huge group that had congregated at the ticket booth. “It looks like the crazy fans are getting here.”

  Sure enough, gaggles of middle-aged women in handmade ‘No one puts Baby in the corner!’ tshirts jostled at the ticket window.

  “I’ll go get our tickets.” Jake squeezed my hand.

  I took the twenty out of my purse. “Here,” I offered.

  “No.” He held his hands up and shook his head. “This is a date, Brenna. I’m not letting you pay for anything.”

  “But you have truck parts to buy.” I held the twenty out again. “You worked hard for your money.”

  “And I want to spend it on you, so let me.” He closed my hand over the bill and pushed it back towards me.

  He walked over to get the tickets, and Saxon snaked into his place, his mouth close to my ear.

  “So that’s why you ran out of my car?” His cigarette was out, but he reeked of smoke. “You’re Jake Kelly’s latest conquest. Have some self-respect, Brenna.”

  Jake turned his head and scowled at Saxon, obviously aggravated, but stuck in his place in line. Saxon gave him a cruel wave.

  “I got out of your car because I was tired of your company. That’s it, Saxon. And what I do or who I do it with is not your business.” I waved at Jake and he looked relieved.

  Saxon reached out and tightened my unfurling scarf like he’d done the other day at school. “You could do a hell of a lot better than Jake Kelly. I’m an asshole, but even I’m a better choice than he is.”

  I could see Jake’s body tense as he waited, switching from foot to foot impatiently.

  I batted Saxon’s hands away and threw my scarf ends over my shoulder. “Jake’s a great guy, and I don’t really want to talk about him with someone like you.” I narrowed my eyes and stepped away from him. “Back off.”

  “He’s a walking STD, Blix.” He closed the space between us. “The guy’s slept with more girls than I’ve looked at. And he’s an idiot. He can’t even read.”

  I was so done with him. “Shut the hell up!” I hissed. Jake had paid for our tickets and was hurrying towards me. “Just because he doesn’t have a photographic memory doesn’t make him less intelligent than you. In fact, he’s ten times smarter and more interesting than you could be on your best day.”

  He threw me an indulgent smile, like I was a toddler having a temper tantrum. “It’s your life.” He shrugged. When Jake was almost next to me, he pulled me over and kissed me on the cheek, his eyes on Jake the whole time. I twisted away from him, and he winked at me. “She’s a real hellcat, right Jake?”

  “Come on, Brenna.” Jake linked hands with me and led me inside. He smelled so good and clean after the smoky, musky smell of Saxon. “He’s such an asshole,” Jake muttered. “Was he bothering you?”

  “No,” I lied. “We just have classes together at school.”

  Jake’s mouth tightened. “Oh. That’s cool,” he said, even though it was evident it was anything but cool as far as he was concerned.

  “We’re not friends.” Even as the words were out of my mouth, I wondered why I said them. Even if Jake and I were dating, I wouldn’t expect him to ask me to give up friendships just because he didn’t like someone. Not that Saxon was someone I cared to keep a friendship with, but there was still the principle of it.

  “He’s just a lot of trouble.” He looked me in the eyes. “And he’s charming as hell. You don’t even know he’s screwed you over until he’s done.” He shook his head. “Never mind. You want some candy?”

  I was glad for the change in subject. “Yes. How about Raisinettes?”

  He made a face.

  “What?” I jabbed him in the ribs with my elbow. “You don’t like Raisinettes?”

  “It’s like fake candy. I always thought of it like candy an adult would trick you into eating. Look Brenna,” he said, his voice all high. “It’s not a raisin! It’s yummy candy!”

  I laughed, as much because I liked his silly joke as because I was glad we had moved past the weirdness with Saxon. “Well, I love them.”

  “Then you’re getting them.” And suddenly, right in the line, he pulled me close and kissed me. “I never thought I’d be so excited to go see, arguably, two of the dumbest movies in the world.”

  I slapped him on the arm. “These are cultural icons! These set the bar for all other dance movies!”

  “Wow. I’m so glad,” he said drily. We were at the counter now, and the pimply girl selling refreshments didn’t bat an eyelash in my direction. She batted her eyelashes at Jake and asked if she could help him in a way that suggested she had more than scooping his popcorn in mind. “Raisinettes, Mike and Ikes, a large popcorn and a large…what do you want to drink?”

  “Coke is great,” I said, then saw all of the options. “Oh, how about Cherry Coke? Do you like that?”

  “Yeah, that’s cool.” He never took his eyes off of me. The girl behind the counter looked at me with daggers in hers. “A Cherry Coke, please.” He finally looked her way and she smiled, then tossed me a look and went to get the drink.

  “Does that happen a lot?” I asked after Jake paid a horrifying amount for our tiny candy boxes, tub of popcorn, and soda, and we moved away from the counter and the girl still throwing him longing looks.

  “What?” He juggled everything in his arms while he tried to slide his wallet into his back pocket.

  I took the popcorn and soda and tossed a kernel in my mouth to enjoy the perfect salty crunch that only movie theater popcorn possesses. “Do girls fall all over you every time you go out?”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

  “Jake, that girl would have hopped in your pocket and gone home with you if you looked her way. How could you not see that?” I offered him a piece of popcorn. He opened his mouth and I fed it to him, thrilled at the touch of his tongue on my fingertips.

  “I don’t know. She just seemed nice. To tell you truth, I really didn’t even notice her. Why would I be looking at any other girl here?” He put his arm around me.

  “Very true. Very smart of you to mention,” I said and gave him a quick buttery/salty kiss.

  We found Kelsie and the group in the theater and tried to figure out how to sit all together. We moved back and forth along the row so everyone could find a seat. Somehow in the shuffle, Saxon just happened to wind up next to me. I tried not to care, but how could I not?

  Jake looked completely pissed off, which was understandable, even though I didn’t know their backstory. Saxon was so obnoxious, I could understand someone being irritated with him for no reason other than his being in the same room.

  Jake put his arm around me and held me close as the lights dimmed and the movie began. I leaned my head on the hard, hot muscle of his shoulder. He was wearing a faded t-shirt and faded jeans with his boots and the same jacket. It occurred to me suddenly that Jake wasn’t making any kind of fashion s
tatement. Jake didn’t have many clothes.

  I snuck a sidelong glance at him as the movie flickered on the screen, panning the rolling hills and sparkly lake of Kellerman’s. He was always clean, but there was something about him that made me ache to help. He looked like he had enough - enough to eat, enough to wear - but nothing special. It was like no one had ever considered pampering him in any way. He had exactly what he needed and nothing more.

  Suddenly I wanted to see where he lived. What was Christmas morning like at his house? Did someone make him a birthday cake? Had he ever been on a vacation? I had a feeling every answer would depress me. I squirmed a little when I thought about how much money he spent on this one date. He could have bought himself something nice. Or maybe his money didn’t go to extras at all. Maybe a lot of it went to the basics. I had no idea what his dad did for work.

  “What’s up?” Jake whispered. “Can’t get comfortable?”

  “These seats are so hard, aren’t they?” I said, grasping gladly at the rope he threw for me.

  “Here.” He moved the soda down to the floor so he could lift the armrest between us and press it back. “Lean on me.”

  I was able to drape myself across his lap and snuggle completely in his arms. I tucked my feet up on the seat and nestled against him. I was so comfortable physically, I was able to calm down mentally.

  Then I felt the oddest sensation. It was like someone was tracking a fingertip over my ankle. My ankles were bare since my leggings ended mid-calf and my socks were super short.

  I hoped it was some kind of big crawly bug. I actually prayed that was the explanation.

  Because if it wasn’t, the only thing that could explain it would be that Saxon was deliberately touching me. I was torn. If I acknowledged it, I would help irritate Jake’s fury and give Saxon the satisfaction of drama. If I ignored it, Saxon might take it as a sign I wanted it or liked it. I pulled my legs up and away, but Saxon still managed to discreetly keep one fingertip gliding along the sensitive skin of my ankle.

  I just concentrated on Jake. I made sure Saxon could see me bury myself in Jake’s arms. At the particularly steamy parts, I leaned up and kissed him briefly. He smiled down at me, and I knew it had to be obnoxious to anyone without someone of their own to kiss and cuddle. When the awesome last dance/jump sequence flashed on the screen, I drew my foot back and kicked Saxon. Hard.

  “Ow!” he yelped and looked at me with something between irritation and respect.

  “I’m sorry, Saxon.” I kept my eyes wide and my expression serious. “I had a leg cramp. I didn’t notice you were so close.”

  “No problem.” His look told me that he gave me his grudging respect.

  When the credits rolled I said, “Jake, I think we get a refill. Do you want to get one while I use the bathroom? I think there’s going to be a line.”

  “Sure,” he said, then turned and gave me a quick kiss that left me wanting more.

  It was excellent anyway.

  As soon as he was gone I grabbed Saxon by the hand and dragged him to the lobby. There was no point in making a scene in front of all of our friends, because he would love that.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I hissed.

  He looked at me for a long minute with his eyebrows raised, clearly enjoying the entire situation. “You’re going to march me into the lobby because my fingertip touched your ankle?” he asked, his voice cavalier.

  “Don’t do that.” I shook my head and pointed at him. “Don’t twist it so I sound ridiculous.”

  “So what happened?” He reached out to put a piece of my hair behind my ear. I grabbed his hand, and held it, twisted out and away from my body.

  “This.” I held his hand up high. “You can’t touch me like that, like we’re together.” I gritted my teeth.

  “I wasn’t aware you were Jake’s absolute property.” Saxon twisted and pulled his hand slowly so we were almost holding hands.

  “I’m my own absolute property.” I pulled away from him. “And I’m asking you to stop.”

  “If touching your ankle does this to you,” he said, his body as close to mine as it could possibly be without actually touching me, “imagine what we’d be like together.”

  “You’re an idiot,” I spat for lack of better words.

  “Just a truth-speaker, baby.” He laughed at my back as I stalked to the bathroom.

  Kelsie was in there. “Hey you!” She put on a coat of mascara and batted her eyes at her reflection in the mirror. “How’s your date?”

  “Going good.” I was still shaky from my conversation with Saxon in the lobby. “How’s yours?”

  “He’s very cool.” She winked at me. “Do you have the lipstick you’re wearing with you?”

  “Yeah, here you go.” I pulled it out of my purse and handed it to her.

  “Thanks. It makes your lips look really soft, almost like you’re not wearing lipstick.” She put it on carefully. “How do I look?” She pursed her lips for me.

  “Beautiful.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m going to pee. You going back?”

  “I’ll wait for you if you want,” she offered. Her eyes crinkled in their usual friendly way.

  “Thanks, but you go. Just tell Jake where I am if he looks frantic?”

  “That’s so cute.” She pinched my cheek. “You guys are already like some old couple.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I know, we’re so adorable it’s nauseating.”

  When Kelsie left, I thought about what I could do to combat Saxon and realized that was probably exactly what he was counting on. Saxon lived for mind games, and his touching my ankle had nothing to do with actually touching me and everything to do with burrowing deep in my head where I couldn’t get him out. I flushed and went to the sinks. I braced my hands on the cold white porcelain and looked at my reflection for a long time.

  I was pretty. Especially with makeup and good hair and a cute outfit. But it wasn’t my made-up eyes or my crazy style that had Saxon attempting to tempt me with the tip of his finger on my ankle. My best guess was he liked me because I called him out on his bullshit. Maybe it was just novelty, or maybe it was an addiction. Because if I thought about being in a serious relationship with Saxon, I didn’t see the mind games ending; in fact I thought it would be just the opposite. Every word he said, every action he made would be to trip me up, keep me on my toes. And I was positive he would get happiness from it, perverse or real.

  Who wants to be constantly on her toes with her boyfriend?

  I washed my hands and felt like splashing water on my face, but I knew my mascara would never hold up.

  I walked out of the bathroom and smashed into the wall of Jake’s chest. My hands went up instinctively, and I could feel just how threadbare the fabric of his shirt was.

  “Are you okay?” He cradled my face in his big hands. “You were in there for a long time.”

  I grinned at him because his panicked worry was just right, just what I wanted. And I realized he was what I wanted, alone. “I don’t need Pepto, if that’s what you’re dancing around.”

  His smile made his eyes crinkle up, and I loved it. “You want to go in?”

  “You know, I think they made a mistake putting Dirty Dancing first. How can you follow an act like that? I don’t think Footloose is going to cut it.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to buy you some cheap Chinese food.” I gave him my best sexy wink. I’m not ashamed to admit I’d practiced it in front of the mirror. Not very ashamed, anyway.

  “I can buy you dinner.” His offer was a tad defensive.

  I knew I had to match his tone with an even more defensive one. “I don’t know why you won’t accept some food from me,” I huffed. “Are you going to be this ungrateful every time we go anywhere, ‘cause I won’t be coming in that case.” I raised one eyebrow at him, very slowly. And knew he was completely taken aback, and floundering to figure out what to do.

  “Alright.” He rubbed the back of hi
s neck, then shook his head and put an arm around my shoulders. “Will your friends be worried about you?”

  “I’ll text Kelsie and tell her so they can meet us after if they want,” I said, and even as my thumb danced over the keys, I felt a slow burn of satisfaction when I imagined Saxon sitting in the theater, plotting. I wouldn’t think of him, even once for the next two hours. “Done. Let’s go.”

  “Where is this place?” He zipped up his coat.

  “Right around the corner.” I put on my scarf and hat.

  “Wait a minute.” He slid his phone out of his pocket, held it up, and aimed at me. “You look really cute. I’m going to take a picture of you. Smile.”

  I did and he snapped the photo, then turned it so I could see.

  “I do look pretty cute. Come to think of it, so do you.” I slid my phone on. “Smile,” I ordered. He did, and the picture of him was perfect.

  “Wow.” He studied the shot over my shoulder. “That chip in my tooth is huge.”

  “No it isn’t.” I kissed his chin. “It adds character.”

  “Well, enjoy it while it lasts. Once I get a job with some dental coverage, I’m getting rid of all of this character.” We ran out of the lobby and were in the chilly afternoon before I could ask him why his dad didn’t cover him dentally and when the last time he’d been to the dentist was.

  I was coming to realize anything I thought I wanted to ask Jake, I probably didn’t, both because I wouldn’t like the answer and because he wouldn’t want to talk about it with me.

  We ran down the street. I liked the way the wind blew my hair back, and I had to swing my hand up to the top of my head to keep my hat from flying off. Jake’s boots thumped on the pavement next to me, and if I could have taken those few seconds and folded them up to keep, I would have. They were pretty much as close to perfection as I’ve ever gotten in my life. It felt like I was running right on the line between being a little kid and being an adult. I felt free and happy and giddy, but also loved and wanted and wanting all at once. The air in our lungs made our hearts beat hard and fast and our skin turned pink and went cool.

  It was over almost before it started. Suddenly we were over the line and nearer to being adults, and that had its own appeal.