Every Breath

by Tasha Ivey

  And it is.

  The day flies by. My class comes back from the weekend with a renewed excitement to learn, and they hit it hard all day. They never cease to amaze me. We even get a few minutes to use a computer in the library to video chat with Sawyer this afternoon, which always makes our day fun. The kids adore him, and I know he enjoys his time with them. They never fail to make him laugh, so he always signs off with a bigger smile than what he started with. Knowing that makes me happy.

  I was worried about him being so upset last night, but today he seemed more relaxed, lighter. We didn’t have time to talk alone, but I did promise that we would talk tonight. I just hope that Drew doesn’t keep me out too late. My extremely late night and early morning is catching up to me quickly, and my constant infusion of coffee is doing little to keep me energized.

  “Whoa. Who are you, and what did you do with my girlfriend?”

  I whip my head around to the door and smile, raising my eyebrows. “Girlfriend?”

  “Mmm hmm.” Drew takes the few steps to my desk and pulls me up from my chair, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Damn,” he whispers. “You’re beautiful every day, but today . . . breathtaking.”

  “You’re not so bad either.” He smells like he just got out of the shower, and his tousled hair is even still slightly damp. “You’re early, you know. I still have some papers to grade. Doesn’t the team still have to work out this afternoon?”

  “Nope. I had some stuff to do, so I cancelled it. My parents require a lot of attention.”

  “Don’t they all?” I giggle.

  Drew pulls at the end of a curl falling over my shoulder, causing it to spring. “They’re dying to meet you. Can you wait to do the grading tomorrow?” He barely suppresses a grin when he pokes out his bottom lip. He can be irresistibly cute when he wants to be.

  I think I’d rather grade all night than meet his parents, but I’m fairly certain he’d never let that happen. I know he’s excited, so I might as well pretend to be, too. “I’m pretty sure those language tests will still be here tomorrow if I don’t grade them tonight. Let’s go.”

  Except he doesn’t move and doesn’t let me go. “It means a lot to me that you’re doing this. Taking this next step with me tells me that you’re closer to taking another. And I look forward to every single one of them. I-I’m in love with you, Makenna.”

  I have a sudden need to swallow. Hard. How the hell do I respond to that?

  But before I can even make an attempt, Drew places a single finger over my lips. “Don’t say a word. I’m not looking for you to say it back just yet. I just want you to know how I feel about you, so you understand exactly how invested I am in this relationship. My day begins and ends with thinking of you. I’m consumed by you, body and soul, and I couldn’t bear to be with you another second without telling you that.”

  Oh.

  Well, to say that I don’t feel the same would be a serious understatement, but I can’t help but feel pleased with his admission. Maybe I can do this. Just maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

  Instead of removing his finger, though, he traces the outside of my slightly parted lips with his fingertip. Even though I feel panic brewing just below the surface and my breath catches in my throat, my eyes betray me by falling closed, allowing me to only concentrate on the sensual touch. My mind immediately takes me back to this morning’s delicious dream . . . and the man that was in it.

  And almost just like in my dream, I feel a broad hand flatten against the small of my back, pressing me closer to the smoldering wall of muscle in front of me, and I instinctively snake my arms around his back. Before I can stop it, the image of those amber honey eyes descending upon me floods my thoughts, and I feel my whole body tense and relax at the same time. A low growl rumbles in my ear just before I feel the whisper of two soft lips just under my earlobe, kissing lightly once before grazing lazily along my jawbone and up to the corner of my mouth.

  Just like my dream, I am tired of fighting it. I want to feel Sawyer’s lips on mine—er, I mean, Drew’s lips. No. Not Drew’s . . . definitely Sawyer’s.

  Damn it all to hell.

  “Ahem.” The voice at the door sends me scrambling back from Sawyer’s, I mean Drew’s arms. Well, shit.

  “Callie?” I’m shocked to see her darkening my doorway since she’s avoided me like the plague all day long. She hasn’t said a single word to me since our fight on Saturday. But the look on her face tells me that she’s not here to apologize.

  “I need my books back. The ones you borrowed last week.” Her words come out choppy. Impatient and annoyed.

  I step around Drew to pull them off the shelf and walk toward her. “Here. Thanks for letting me borrow them.”

  “Uh huh.” She yanks them from my hands, sends a terse nod in Drew’s direction, and walks out.

  He steps up behind me, resting those big hands on my hips. “She’ll get over it, baby. Just give her some time. I promise.” Leaning down, he plants the softest kiss on my temple. “Let’s go see what my parents are up to, aside from calling me every five minutes.”

  On the ride to his house, I think about that moment Drew and I just had in my classroom. I need to get real with myself. That dream I had about Sawyer has totally thrown me off, and I need to forget about it before I get myself into trouble. I came so close to kissing Drew just then, while I was imagining it was Sawyer. What the hell is wrong with me? I clearly need to get some quality sleep before I completely lose what little bit of the mind I have left.

  I’m with Drew. Apparently, according to him today, I’m his girlfriend. Sawyer isn’t interested in me, and he’s just my friend. Although, after he made some cryptic admissions last night, I’m beginning to wonder exactly how friendly we’re getting. But whatever. I have to stop this nonsense before someone gets hurt. Most likely me.

  “You ready for this?” Drew asks, reaching across the console to squeeze my hand.

  Not really. “I think so. Why? Should I be worried?”

  He smiles so wide that his eyes crinkle at the corners. Damn, that smile. “No, not at all. I have already been talking about you for weeks, so I’m pretty sure they already love you as much as I do. They’re just going to be excited to finally put that beautiful face of yours to your equally beautiful name.”

  “Hmm. Well, I hope so.”

  He pulls into the drive behind a glossy black Escalade and turns toward me. “I have to ask you something before we go inside. Are you upset with me for what just happened in your classroom?”

  “I’m not mad at you. Why would you think that?”

  “You’ve been a little more quiet than normal, so I just want to be sure we’re okay. I didn’t mean to freak you out by telling you that I love you, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. And I know all about your boundaries with kissing, but you didn’t seem to tense up like you normally do. If Callie hadn’t come into the room, I wouldn’t have stopped that time. Was I way off base?”

  Was he? I honestly don’t know. That stupid dream has me so confused. Clearly, my body is on a different path than my head because it has a mind of its own lately. My hormones have shifted into overdrive. But this is about overcoming my hesitation in our relationship, right? I told myself I was going to push myself out of my comfort zone and really give it a shot with Drew, so that’s what I’m doing. I just didn’t realize my libido would snatch the reins from me so quickly.

  “Everything is great, Drew. I’m just trying not to overanalyze everything because I really want to take the next step without my subconscious taking over and shoving the constant stream of doubt down my throat. And, no, you weren’t completely off base. In that moment, I’m not completely sure I would’ve stopped you either. But the right moment will come again.” I just wish I could put my finger on whatever it is that has me so open to the idea all of a sudden. The word “hypocrite” keeps coming to mind.

  “Any time you decide that moment has made its way around again and I don’t notice, plea
se promise you’ll tell me. I don’t want to miss that for anything in the world.”

  I nod at him. “I’m sorry that everything with me is so complicated, Drew. I honestly don’t know how I got lucky enough to end up with someone as patient and understanding as you.”

  “You’re worth it. It’s me that’s the lucky one, I promise you.”

  I forget that his parents are waiting for us until I notice movement at the front of the house. The front door swings wide open before two silhouettes appear in the frame. “Oh, God.”

  “Thought you weren’t nervous, sweetheart,” he laughs, pressing a swift kiss to my knuckles. “Makenna?”

  I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly before looking at him. “Huh?”

  “I love you, no matter what they think. So stop clenching your jaw and relax. I’m going to be with you every second.”

  I didn’t even realize it was clenched. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  As soon as he comes around to open my door, his mom steps off the porch. “Well, Drew, I was wondering if we were going to have to get in the truck with you to meet her.”

  “As much as I would love to keep her all to myself, Mom, that won’t be necessary.” He holds out his hand to assist me in climbing down. “Makenna, this is my mother, Nina Pierce. Mom, Makenna Madison.”

  I’m awestruck when I look at the petite woman in front of me. I’ve never seen a woman so perfect in all my life. Her chin-length copper hair is expertly curled, not a single lock dares to move out of place. And there’s not even a slight crease in her tailored trousers or rose cashmere cardigan. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Pierce.”

  She takes my outstretched hand. “It is lovely to finally meet you. Drew has been talking about you for so long, I was beginning to wonder if you were merely a figment of his imagination.”

  Drew takes my elbow and guides me up to the porch. “This guy standing in the doorway so he can covertly watch the game is my dad, Andrew Pierce.”

  “Well, Drew, you weren’t kidding about this one. She’s a looker.”

  I hold out my hand to shake his, but he ignores it and pulls me into an embrace. “Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Pierce.”

  “See, I told you they’d love you.” Drew whispers, taking my sweater when we enter the house. “But not as much as I do.”

  It only takes me half a second to realize his house has been completely transformed into something from a home magazine. There’s garland over the fireplace mantle and up the banister, greenery and candles on every table, and a ten-foot tree in the corner. “When did you put up Christmas decorations?”

  Everyone in the room laughs.

  “Not me. My mom loves to decorate, so she did all of it.”

  “It’s beautiful. I guess I need to put my tree up since Christmas is next week, huh?”

  Drew leans in to my ear. “Or you can spend Christmas with me instead.”

  Damn it. I hadn’t even thought of getting him a gift yet. “I just might do that.”

  We sit down to dinner after chatting a while, and I can see where Drew gets his laid back attitude. He is an exact replica of his dad: sweet, good-natured, and funny. I’m having a little more trouble reading his mom, though. She’s much more reserved, and I can tell she only says what she thinks everyone wants to hear. She certainly doesn’t smile much either.

  “So, Makenna, Drew says you’re a teacher, right?” Mrs. Pierce folds her hands and places them in her lap after only a few bites of her food.

  “Yes, ma’am. This is my second year of teaching.”

  “And what is it that your parents do?”

  Drew butts in. “Mom, let her eat.”

  “It’s okay.” I place my hand on his forearm. “My parents are both retired teachers, actually. My dad was a college professor, and my mom was also an elementary school teacher.”

  His mom sits quietly for a moment before she cringes at me. “Retired? Already?”

  Well, okay. That was a little rude. “My parents were in their early forties when I was born. They had tried for many years to have kids, and it never happened. So, needless to say, I was a bit of a surprise.”

  Her mouth falls open slightly. “Oh my God. Were you adopted?”

  Before I can tell her that I wasn’t, Drew and his dad simultaneously drop their forks. “Mom!” “Nina!”

  She throws up her hands. “I’m going to get dessert ready.” She storms out, and Mr. Pierce follows her.

  “What just happened?” I ask quietly, turning to Drew.

  He shakes his head, clearly exasperated. “I’m so sorry. She just doesn’t have a tactful bone in her body.”

  Obviously not. My parents would never behave that way.

  “Do you mind if I go up to your room for a minute and get some air?”

  “Want me to go with you? Or we can go for a drive if you want.”

  I peck him on the cheek. He can really be a sweetheart. “No, I’m okay. This whole meet-the-parents thing has got me a little wound up, so I just want to breathe for a second.”

  I find my way up to his room. I have only been up here one time, and that was on our first date, so I had almost forgotten how breathtaking and peaceful it is. I open one of the doors leading to the balcony and the icy air immediately cuts right through me. But I like it.

  I sink into one of the chairs by the railing and take a deep breath, allowing the brisk air to fill my lungs before I blow it out ever-so-slowly. I’m definitely cold without my sweater, but this is the most comfortable I’ve felt since I got here.

  I hear a door shut below me, and I have to strain to hear the hushed voices on the deck below.

  “Damn it, Nina.” It’s Drew’s dad.

  “Oh, shut up, Andrew. You heard her. She’s the daughter of retired teachers for crying out loud. You know she’s just here for the money.”

  What the hell? What money?

  “You don’t know that at all.”

  “Yes, I do, Andrew. He told me he called and accepted that job today. She’s going with him to Indianapolis, just like that Amy did when he went pro. And you know how that turned out.”

  “Nina, seriously, he loves her, and he’s a grown man. He’s old enough to make his own decisions. And you know as well as I do, Amy did nothing wrong. It was a pretty messed up time for all of us, and I can’t fault her for anything. You need to step back and let Drew run his own life for a change.”

  The balcony door squeaks as it opens. “Hey, beautiful. You okay?”

  I begin to speak, but Drew’s mom does first. “There’s not a chance in hell I’m going to let him ruin his life with that nobody and let her take him for everything he’s worth.” And a door slams.

  I sit there with my mouth gaping open as I watch Drew go from relaxed and smiling to jaw clenched and fists bunched. “Excuse me for just a moment, baby.”

  And he returns quickly, but only after a few minutes of raised voices and flying accusations. This night was supposed to be a big step for me, and I guess it was, in a way. A big step backwards. If this is how his family is, I don’t want any part of it. I prepare myself for him to tell me that his mom wants to apologize and be friends and that he wants the two women in his life to get along.

  But he doesn’t. He pulls me inside and wraps me into his arms. “You’re freezing. Let’s go sit in front of the fire.”

  I lean back and raise my eyebrows at him. “Where are your parents?”

  “I made them leave. She’s not going to talk about you like that. What else did she say?”

  I do not want to bring up the money or that Amy person right now. “That was about it. But, honestly, I think I just want to go home. I’m not upset with you or anything, but it’s been a long night, and I do have to work tomorrow.”

  He pauses and stares at me. “Okay, then. You’re sure you’re okay?”

  “Positive.”

  He seems distracted on the drive to my house, but I can’t fault him for it. Our night turned out completely different than what eithe
r of us could have imagined.

  “I’m so sorry about tonight, Makenna. I really am. My mom has always been a little overprotective, but tonight was inexcusable.”

  “You don’t have to apologi—Why are all the lights on in my house? I’m positive I turned everything off this morning.” I sit forward in my seat to get a better look when Drew pulls into the gravel drive. My house is all lit up, and the front door is standing open. Callie must be here, which given her attitude today, seems a little more than odd.

  But then again, there aren’t any cars in the drive. Mine is still at school because Drew is just going to pick me up in the morning.

  “Makenna, I think you should call the police.” He puts his truck into park and starts to get out. “Stay here and lock the doors.”

  It’s not until that moment that I freak out. Drew thinks someone is in there. I watch him disappear into the house before I dig for my cell phone in my purse. After a few minutes on the phone with a dispatcher, the headlights of two patrol cars shine on the front of my house. And Drew comes back outside, shaking his head and fisting his hair.

  I unlock the doors and jump out. “Drew! What is it? What happened?”

  He jerks me into his embrace and hangs on tight. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you were at my house tonight.”

  What isn’t he telling me? “What. Happened.”

  “Someone has totally trashed the house, Makenna. Everything.”

  I twist myself free and run up to the house, stopping immediately as soon as I see the mess right inside the front door. He wasn’t exaggerating at all. Curtains have been shredded and ripped from the windows. My couch and chairs have all been sliced to expose springs and stuffing. All of the pictures on my mantle have been swept into the floor and shattered. My laptop is smashed into a mangled heap of plastic and wires.

  And it’s pretty much the same in every room. My dishes lay in shards of glass all over the kitchen floor. Every article of clothing I own is thrown haphazardly around my bedroom. My mattress is in the floor, also cut open. Absolutely nothing is where I left it this morning.