Waiting to Lose

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  “Three weeks,” he reminded her, his forehead pressed to hers.

  “Three weeks,” she reminded herself. “I love you, Jake.”

  “Look in my eyes. Do you know just how much you mean to me?”

  As she stared into his deep blue eyes, she felt confidence build within her. Madi nodded and smiled.

  “Love you, baby. I’ll call you when I land.”

  “No matter what time, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  With another lingering kiss, he was gone.

  Madi leaned her head on the window as she watched the plane dart above the clouds. The weekend had somehow managed to feel like months and a few hours at the same time. What would her life be like with Rob in tow? Somehow she couldn’t remember her life without Jake. How had he become the center of everything in her world? What would happen when it all came crashing down?

  AUSTRALIA WAS A beautiful country and the people were amazing. Unfortunately, it hadn’t done much so far to keep his mind off Madi. The jet lag that hit him after the fourteen-hour flight was the worst he’d had to date. Maybe it was because he could hear Caleb arguing with his wife, Diane, on the phone for half the trip. Apparently, things weren’t going so well. Jake didn’t like to get involved in other people’s business, but even he had noticed a change in Caleb. If there was one thing that his mother and father had taught him, it was the truth to the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” If his mom was happy, everybody was happy. If Diane was upset, there was probably a good reason why. He knew her well and could easily infer that if there was a problem, Caleb was likely to blame.

  Jake called Madi as soon as he arrived in his hotel in Sydney. He was thankful to hear her voice, even if she was half asleep.

  After sleeping for almost an entire day, Jake awoke to the beauty of night. He vowed that someday, he’d bring Madi here with him. It was just too magnificent for her not to experience it. The thought of the future made him smile. Before her, he’d taken life one day at a time. Now, everything had a clearer purpose. He couldn’t wait to share every aspect of his life with her, assuming she would have him.

  When he met Caleb for a late dinner, Jake noticed he looked worn down. “You okay?” he asked.

  “As if you didn’t know, Diane and I have been fighting for a while now. We had a huge one before I left.”

  “I hope this doesn’t have to do with the tour.”

  “She’s always known what my life entailed. I don’t know why she’s so upset that I have commitments, even when I’m home.”

  “What kind of commitments?” Jake asked as he took a sip of water, trying to rehydrate himself.

  Caleb wrung his hands as Jake noticed he seemed to be sweating.

  “Are you feeling alright?” Jake asked. “You look pale.”

  “Sometimes people don’t understand that we have to make decisions that may be tough, that they may not like, but are what’s best for their future and the future of everyone involved.”

  Jake nodded his head as he tried to discern what decision Caleb might have made that pissed off Diane.

  “Listen…” Jake said. “You look terrible. Go back to the room. Call Diane. Get some sleep. I’m going to have dinner then head back up myself.”

  “You sure?” Caleb questioned.

  Jake waved him off in agreement.

  After Caleb left, Jake called Dave for an update.

  Dave said Peter Markum had visited a cemetery. They’d tried to stay back and observe. It appears he may have gone to see his mother. He hadn’t been there long, and he’d flicked a cigarette on her grave before he left.

  Piece of shit. Jake touched the world clock button his phone as he tried to decipher what time it was in Chicago and whether or not Madi would be awake. Nine p.m. in Sydney… seventeen-hour difference. Crap. Four a.m.

  As Jake tucked his phone back into his pocket, he felt it buzz. A smile spread across his face like he’d just seen the presents Santa left under tree.

  “Hi, baby. How come you’re awake?”

  “Couldn’t sleep. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too.”

  “I have a confession to make. I did something that I need to tell you about.”

  “Okay… What is it?” he asked.

  “I stole your t-shirt. It smelled like you and I couldn’t give it up.”

  Jake laughed. “That’s your confession? You had me worried.”

  “Um hmm…”

  “Still sleepy?” he asked.

  “Yes…”

  “Anything I have is yours. You can take whatever you want as long as I get you in return.”

  “You always have me.”

  “That’s what I want to hear. Why don’t you go back to sleep. This time thing has us both messed up.”

  “K. I love you.”

  “Love you. Bye”

  Jake smiled to himself at how in sync their minds must be if they thought of each other at the same time. Jake shook his head. He needed to get a grip. He needed to focus on the tour and getting Peter Markum to disappear from their lives. Then he could focus on his future and what that meant for the girl he loved.

  ***

  MADI PATIENTLY WAITED outside Kendra’s dorm room for her to grab her books. She hadn’t seen her since she’d been back. Kendra had caught some kind of “bug” and had been in bed since Halloween. Madi had so much to tell her.

  The door flew open and Kendra stepped into the hall. Sunglasses covered her eyes and her nose had a red tint from too much blowing. Madi smiled for a moment at the outfit Kendra had thrown together. She was wearing her pink sweats with the color branded on her rear, a white sweatshirt with a red flared sweater over it, and her red mule slippers. For most people, this would look ridiculous, but for some unknown reason, it worked for Kendra. She could make anything look good.

  “Don’t come near me,” she said, holding up her tissue-filled hand to Madi. “If I didn’t have a test today, I’d still be in my fucking bed.”

  Madi grinned as she grabbed Kendra’s backpack from her shoulder. “I missed you.”

  “Yeah, yeah… I’m sure you were thinking about me the whole time you were licking his abs.”

  Madi laughed as they walked out the door.

  Rob stood as they approached, and took the backpacks from Madi.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Kendra asked as she slid her glasses down her nose just enough to get a look at him.

  Madi cleared her throat. “Ken, this is Rob, my new security guard.”

  “Ms. Parker.” Rob nodded his head to Kendra.

  She turned to Madi and pointed her tissue-filled hand at Rob. “What the fuck happened to Nate?”

  “Mr. Matthews was needed elsewhere,” Rob explained.

  Kendra glared back at him. “I wasn’t talking to you, sweetheart, but since you’re so anxious to talk to me, maybe you can tell why you’re here and why you look like you eat puppies for breakfast.”

  Madi chuckled to herself. She hadn’t had the chance to warn Rob about Kendra. Kendra hit the nail on the head. He actually did look like he ate puppies. His tough-as-nails exterior was pretty intimidating.

  Madi grabbed Kendra’s arm and pulled her forward as she stood motionless, staring at Rob and waiting for an answer. “What?” she asked as she wiped her nose. “He only talks when you give him permission? That’s pretty fucked up, Mads. Actually, I think I’m pretty fucked up.” Kendra stumbled alongside Madi as she glanced back to Rob, following them cautiously. “I’m starting to think I should have used that stupid little cup they give you with cough medicine instead of just taking a swig before I left.”

  “Ken! How much did you take?”

  “Not that much. Jesus, Mads, don’t look at me like that. I fucking drink jack and coke for breakfast. I can handle a little medicine. I’ll probably get an A on my test because of it.”

  Kendra turned back toward Rob as they walked. “What do you like to drink with your puppies for breakfast? Kitten milk?” She laughed. �
��You look like the kinda guy that has them hooked up to little pumps.”

  Rob kept a straight face and didn’t say a word.

  Kendra stopped in her tracks. “Cat got your tongue, Buzz?”

  Madi grabbed her elbow and lurched her forward. “What?” she asked in surprise.

  Madi whispered, “Please try to be nice. I’ll explain everything later. After class I’ll stop by the grill and grab you some soup. I’ll meet you back at your room, k?”

  “Thank you, beyotch. I’d kiss you, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want the cold I got from the football player. I should have just stayed in your room and finished the Doritos.”

  “Yes, you should have.” Madi laughed.

  They stopped when the sidewalk diverged, and they parted ways. As Rob handed Kendra her backpack, she made a V with her fingers and motioned from her eyes to his, letting him know she was watching him. As soon as she was out of earshot, Rob strode next to Madi.

  “Sorry about Ken. She’s actually pretty amazing. Just super protective of me.”

  Rob nodded his head. “It’s good to have friends who look out for you.”

  They slowly walked along the path to the Business Management building when curiosity got the best of her. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”

  “Twenty-nine.”

  “And how do you know Jake?”

  “We went to the same high school and played baseball together. We took different paths. I went to the Navy. He went to a recording studio. We never lost contact. He’s a good guy. Always has been.”

  Madi smiled to herself. She liked knowing he’d known Jake for years. She also appreciated the confirmation that he was always amazing.”

  “So, Navy, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Jake told me you were a SEAL.”

  She almost thought for a moment he might smile, but he didn’t. A guy on a bike whizzed past them and Rob suddenly grabbed her out of the way, turning her.

  “You okay, Ms. Ryan?”

  “Whoa… I didn’t even see him.”

  “I’m trained to see the things you might not. It’s what I do.”

  Madi sighed as she shifted her stance, eyeing him inquisitively. “If we’re going to put on this charade that you’re another student, you’re going to have to make a few changes.”

  He turned his head inquisitively. “Like what?”

  “First, my name is Madi, not Ms. Ryan. Most college guys call me by my first name.”

  He nodded.

  “Second, unless you want people to think you’re dating me, you need to let me carry my own books.”

  He pursed his lips in agreement and handed her the backpack.

  “And finally, don’t stand so straight. You need to slouch more. The way you stand and walk and talk screams, ‘I don’t belong here.’ You need to loosen up.

  Rob suddenly relaxed his posture as shook out his arms, loosening the grip on his own “pretend” school bag. “Done. It’s a habit. Good advice.”

  Madi smiled as they continued to walk to class.

  He stood outside when Madi brought Kendra her soup and explained the whole weekend, complete with details of Peter Markum. At one point, Kendra jumped up and threatened to fly out to L.A. and kick his ass herself. “What a piece of shit. Jake had better be doing right by you. I don’t like this at all, Mads. And I don’t like the idea that you actually need Mr. Tall-and-Mighty out there.”

  After Madi calmed her down, she made her way back to her room. Rob sat in the hall as Nate had done before, but not before he asked if he could come in for a moment.

  As Madi shut her door, he handed her a sleek black pen. “It’s a one-way radio. I know I’m not allowed in here after midnight, but I want you to always have a way to contact me. There’s a small latch on the side where you can turn it off, if you feel uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t recommend it. If it’s off for too long, I’ll be charging your door.”

  As Madi observed him sliding the button to turn it off and then pointing to the string coming from his ear, she noticed that his hands were quite large and his fingers were very long.

  “You don’t play the drums, by any chance, do you?”

  His head turned in confusion. The question made no sense, considering the context of their conversation.

  “I’m sorry. Kendra put this idea in my head that guys with hands such as yours,” she said while pointing, “usually play the drums.”

  Rob glanced down at his hands, turning them before responding. “That’s fairly observant of her. I don’t play the drums, but I do play guitar. Not very well, unfortunately.”

  Madi nodded. “Thanks for the pen.”

  Rob opened her door and reminded her of the importance of always keeping it locked.

  After he’d left, Madi sat at her laptop and checked her emails. There was another weird e-mail with a cryptic title: “He’s going to kill you, one way or another.” Madi jumped from her seat as she stared at the message. Now that she knew about Peter, she realized these e-mails might be linked. Madi called Rob’s name as she opened her door, and he jumped up immediately, rushing inside. She swallowed hard as she showed Rob every note she’d received.

  “Please don’t worry him,” she begged.

  “He needs to know.”

  Before she knew it, copies of her emails were being forwarded to Dave, Jake, and the Los Angeles Police Department.

  “WHAT DO YOU mean it wasn’t him?” Jake questioned.

  “After they confiscated his laptop a week and a half ago, forensics did a search on his hard drive. If he’d sent them, they’d most likely be there. There’s nothing to indicate they came from him. They got nothing but a few searches of your name. They have nothing to charge him with.”

  “What the fuck, Rob? Did he use another computer?”

  “I don’t think so. I mean, it’s always possible, but our guys have been tailing him for weeks. They’ve yet to see him use anything but the one inside his room.”

  Jake paced the floor of his latest hotel room in Australia. He’d been traveling around the country doing tours in different cities. It was eight thirty in the morning there, but three thirty in the afternoon in Chicago.

  “Is she scared?”

  “She’s a pretty tough girl. I think she’s okay. She’s standing next to me, and I get the feeling she may take me down if I don’t hand her phone back over to her. I’ll let you know what I find out.”

  “Jake?” she asked.

  “Hey. You okay?”

  “I’m fine. Really. Please don’t worry about me. Just take care of yourself.”

  “If Rob weren’t there with you right now, I’d be on the first plane I could. If you need me, just say the word.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t get me wrong; I miss you terribly. Rob’s great, but he’s not you,” she said through a sigh.

  “Well, I should hope not.”

  “How was the concert last night? Or was it today? This seventeen-hour time difference thing has me so confused.”

  “Last night for me. Sold out. Second show tonight.”

  “You’re in Melbourne now, right? I hope you’re getting enough rest. I worry about you.”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I’m going to lie back down in a bit. Sound check at three, second concert at eight. I should be back to the room by midnight my time. Should I call?”

  “YES!” she shouted. “Unless you’re too tired, then just rest and I’ll talk to you later.

  “Three more days before I’m back in the states to wrap up the tour. That means ten days till I’m back with you.”

  “Where you belong,” she added.

  “I have a lot to be thankful for this year.”

  “So do I. I’m still not sure how I managed to land such a hottie.”

  “You landed me, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “Must be your feisty mouth and your tight little ass.”

  “Really? That’s what did it? What about my mind or my wit?”r />
  “Yeah, that too.”

  “You’re so convincing…”

  “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

  “I’m not… I mean… Jeez…” she hissed.

  “You were.”

  “I need to work on my ability to keep you guessing.”

  “Why would you say that? Does it bother you that I know you a little too well?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, it does! I don’t want you getting bored and looking for other entertainment.”

  “Madi…”

  “I’m just kidding. I’m not worrying, okay? Allison Gregory is losing her touch in the media. They seem to be getting bored with her.”

  “And you would know that how?” he asked.

  “Shit!”

  “Don’t read that crap, Madi, for the love of God. It’s all lies.”

  “So they’re not bored with her?”

  “I love you, woman.”

  “Love you, too, man,” she replied sarcastically.

  “Gotta go. Caleb’s at my door. Talk to you soon.”

  “K. Remind me to tell you about Kendra…” she whispered.

  “Oh boy… I’m afraid to ask. Bye.”

  “Bye,” she said through a giggle.

  As soon as he ended the call, he opened his door to a jumpy Caleb.

  “Ready for tonight? Man, what a show last night!”

  “It’s eight thirty in the morning. Why in the hell are you here so early?” he asked in annoyance.

  “I told you, you’re booked on ‘Good Afternoon Melbourne’ at noon. We need to get going.”

  “You never told me… Shit, Caleb! I haven’t even showered.”

  “Go. Make it quick. It’s going to be an amazing day!”

  As Jake stripped and stepped into the shower, he realized he hadn’t seen Caleb so happy in weeks. He wondered if he and Diane had worked things out. He sighed as the water washed over him. He was exhausted. It was going to be a long-ass day.

  ***

  “WHERE’S BUZZ LIGHTYEAR?” Kendra questioned as she plopped into a chair in the grill.

  Madi shook her head. “Rob is behind me, four tables to the right. Reading, I believe.”