Waiting to Lose

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  “Please don’t tell me…” she started.

  “It’s fine. No worries.”

  He turned and flipped a switch, lighting the fire. “That was too easy. Give me something else.”

  “I don’t know what you’re capable of,” she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

  “You don’t know what I’m capable of?” he questioned as he slowly stalked toward her with dark, alluring eyes.

  Madi laughed and held up her floured hand. “Okay, stop. I do know what you’re capable of, and I can’t think about that right now. My parents will be here any minute.”

  Jake smiled, took the plates from the counter, and began setting the table.

  “God, you’re sexy when you’re helping me,” she said.

  He smirked.

  There was a knock on the door. Murphy charged it anxiously.

  Jake peered at the security camera and saw it was Kendra. Rob stood outside in deep conversation with her.

  “Look at this,” Jake whispered, pointing.

  Madi hustled over to him, wiping her hands on a towel. She leaned on his shoulder as they watched Kendra cross her arms. Jake flipped a switch and they listened.

  “Whatever, Rob. I really don’t care.”

  “Why do you always have to act like that?” he asked.

  “Like what? Like I’m pissed? It’s easy, because every time I’m around you, you piss me off.”

  “Why do you think that is?” Rob asked.

  “Maybe because you’re so fucking full of yourself?”

  Rob shook his head and folded his arms.

  “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” she asked him.

  “I’m working, Kendra. I know you’re not familiar with the concept, but try to understand.”

  Madi cringed as she and Jake made eye contact. “That doesn’t sound good.” Jake turned off the mic and opened the door.

  “Fuck y—Merry Christmas!” Kendra went from angry to fake smiling.

  She pulled Madi into a hug and licked her cheek. “Hey, beyotch.”

  Madi smiled and wiped her face.

  “Hey, fine piece of ass. I hope you have wine,” Kendra said to Jake with her hands on her hips.

  Jake smirked. “We made sure we bought a case when we knew you were coming.”

  Kendra laughed and hugged him. “Is he being good to you?” she asked, pointing toward Jake.

  Madi smiled. “Very good to me.”

  Kendra rolled her eyes. “Damn. I was in the mood to kick some ass today.”

  Jake held the door as Rob entered. Kendra glared at him and rolled her eyes again, turning around.

  “Let me take your bags and coat,” Jake said, holding out his arms. Kendra handed him her gifts and unbuttoned her jacket, letting it slip from her shoulders. She was wearing a tiny little piece of material that might pass as a skirt for a young child, and black thigh-high boots. She turned as Rob’s eyes darted up her legs to her face, then to the cleavage at her chest.

  She turned quickly and winked at Madi, who knew Kendra had received the reaction she was looking for.

  As Jake was about to close the door, he heard commotion in the hall. He peered out to see Collin, Michael and Steve Ryan carrying packages and walking behind Dee and Emily. Steve rolled his eyes and Michael bent his leg, kicking Collin in the rear playfully. Dee and Emily were deep in conversation. Jake smiled. This day would be perfect.

  “He has to. I’ve been waiting since Thanksgiving,” Collin said to Madi.

  “Has to what?” Jake asked as he brought more plates from the table to the sink.

  Collin twitched his neck as if pointing in Jake’s direction. Madi grumbled. “Collin wondered if you might play something.”

  Jake grinned. “Of course. I’d love to.”

  Collin clapped his hands like a small child.

  Madi giggled at him and brought more plates to the sink.

  “Let me finish helping Madi and I’ll play whatever you’d like.”

  Madi shook her head to him. “I’ve got it. You go.”

  “Are you sure?” Jake asked.

  “She’s sure,” Collin replied, nudging him in the direction of the piano.

  Jake laughed.

  “Jake’s going to play!” Collin announced to the room.

  Jake smiled as he observed Madi watching her family anxiously sit around the fire. Madi’s father leaned up against the window and watched her watching Jake.

  “What would you like to hear?” Jake asked.

  “That’s easy. ‘The Way You Make Me Feel,’” Collin replied.

  Jake glanced at her through the tops of his eyes. “I once sang this for your sister, you know.”

  “Oh, I know,” Collin laughed. “We heard all about it.”

  Jake licked his lips and began to play. Madi scrapped the plates but paused when she heard his voice.

  You came into my world like a melody.

  My heart believed you were a song.

  Then you changed me, with your quiet harmony.

  Had you been there all along?

  The way you make me feel is like a chorus line…

  Playing softly in my mind.

  The way you make me feel makes my heart beat out of time…

  Flashing signals, flashing signs.

  The way you make me feel is the anthem for my soul,

  Though I can’t quite find the words to let you know,

  The way you make me feel.

  Jake made constant eye contact with her as the lyrics flowed from his mouth. For a moment, he forgot all his troubles and all his pain. He was happy.

  Everyone clapped. Jake went on to play several more songs, including a Michael Bublé song, to which Collin and Mrs. Ryan sang along. After he finished, he wiped his hands on his legs and Madi’s mother kissed his cheek, thanking him. Kendra sat at the bar, chatting with Madi and drinking a glass of wine. Jake noticed Rob sigh in her direction.

  “What’s going on with you two?” Jake murmured, pointing.

  “Absolutely nothing. I hope you know I’d never mix business with personal stuff.”

  Jake nodded. “I’m not worried. Madi has it set in her mind that you and Kendra would be perfect for each other.”

  Rob shook his head. “I can’t say I’ve ever met anyone like her.”

  Jake poured himself and Madi each a glass of wine, kissing her forehead when he handed it to her. Madi closed her eyes briefly and Jake smiled, appreciating how he affected her.

  “So, Rob?” Michael asked, pointing toward Kendra as he swallowed a large gulp of wine. “You two still hot and heavy?”

  Kendra turned and glared at Michael. Madi glanced over their shoulders to make sure her parents weren’t in earshot of the conversation.

  “Actually, Michael,” Madi began, “there’s something you should know.”

  Rob interjected, looking Michael square in the eye. “Yep, she’s still the girl of my dreams.”

  Kendra choked on her wine.

  Michael huffed. “I find that hard to believe, Ken and Bobbie. Kinda like Ken and Barbie, except this Ken is a slut who can’t keep her legs closed.”

  Kendra winced as she flew out of her seat. Rob stepped between them, whispering in Michael’s ear. “I’m not going to hit you like I want to, because you’re Madi’s brother and you’ve been drinking. But if you ever, ever, say another distasteful, inappropriate comment to Kendra again, I’ll lay you flat on your ass faster than you can swallow your own spit. Now apologize to her, before I lose my temper and ruin Christmas for everyone.”

  Michael’s mouth fell open. Jake could tell by his expression that Rob had scared the shit out of him. Rob could be extremely intimidating. Michael turned to Kendra and cleared his throat.

  Kendra stared at Rob, who gritted his teeth while he held Michael’s arm in place.

  “I, umm… I’m sorry, Kendra. That was inappropriate. It won’t happen again.”

  Kendra nodded. She was at a loss for words. Jake turned to Madi
and smirked. Madi pursed her lips.

  Michael backed away from Rob with his tail between his legs, and Kendra smiled.

  “Thank you,” she said to Rob as she swallowed hard.

  Rob took a step toward her. “No one will ever disrespect you in my presence. You deserve better.” He turned and headed out the door and into the hall, closing it behind him.

  Madi clutched Kendra’s arm. Kendra’s eyes followed Rob out the door. She glanced at Madi then back to the door. Kendra tugged away and charged after him. Madi, Jake and Collin rushed to the door and watched the security camera.

  “They’re not really dating, are they?” Collin whispered to Madi.

  “No,” Madi whispered back.

  “I didn’t think so,” Collin replied in a hush.

  They stared at the screen as Rob’s eyes darted from the floor to Kendra’s eyes.

  “Is there sound?” Collin whispered.

  “Yeah, turn it up so we can all hear,” Madi’s father announced in a hiss from behind them. Jake turned to see Mr. and Mrs. Ryan crowding around the camera.

  “You didn’t think we bought that whole dating thing, did you?” Mrs. Ryan asked as she leaned in, resting her hand on Madi’s back to get a better view.

  Madi smirked and Jake shook his head, flipping on the sound.

  “I can’t believe you did that,” Kendra announced, crossing her arms.

  “Don’t make a big deal out of it. I would have done it for anyone.”

  “Really?” she asked. “That’s how you’re going to play this? You know, I should have known better. For a second, I thought that maybe somewhere below that rough exterior was a beating heart. I guess I was wrong to hope you were human.”

  Kendra turned the knob and everyone pounced back from the door in a fury. Rob stuck out his hand and stopped her.

  Jake, Madi and her family inched back to the screen to watch in exasperation.

  “I don’t know what you want from me, Kendra. What do you want me to say?”

  “I don’t want you to say anything.”

  Again, the knob began to turn and everyone leapt from the door. Collin almost fell over his father.

  Rob pulled her arm back again and everyone sighed in relief, resuming their positions.

  “It’s important that I maintain my professionalism,” Rob stated, furrowing his brows.

  Kendra glanced down at her arm, still held firmly in his grasp. “I’m not asking you to be unprofessional.”

  “Yes, I’m afraid you are.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Kendra asked, pulling her arm away.

  “That means that I see the way you look at me and lick your lips. I’ve heard you talk about my dick in your mouth, and I’ve noticed your displays of tits and ass for my viewing pleasure.”

  Kendra fumed. “Are you trying to imply that I’m purposefully flirting with a loser like you?”

  “I don’t know if you’re purposefully doing it, but it’s fucked up.”

  Kendra rolled her eyes and he took a step closer to her. Kendra took a sharp breath at his proximity.

  “It’s fucked up because I can’t think straight when you’re in the same room as I am. It’s fucked up because you’re the most fowl-mouthed, outspoken, stubborn, crazy-ass girl I’ve ever met in my life, and for some ungodly reason, I love it. I like your nasty mouth and your crappy attitude and the steely armor you wear to protect the broken shell underneath.”

  Kendra gaped at him in shock.

  “But I’m working, and I can’t be distracted by your firm little ass in that illegal skirt, or your perfect, perky tits. So back off. Stop licking your lips and spouting off cocky little comebacks before I kiss your mouth so hard you may not be able to talk for days.”

  There was a collective “Oooh” from everyone on the other side of the door. Madi grabbed on to Jake’s sweater in excitement and he smiled back at her knowingly.

  “You what?” Kendra mumbled. “You want to kiss me?” Kendra shook off her initial jarring and immediately began to laugh. “I’m sorry that you can’t stand to look at my perky tits, soldier boy, but that’s too fucking bad. I don’t give a shit what you or any other man wants. You can’t have me and you never will!”

  Rob stared at her briefly before gritting his teeth. “You just can’t shut up, can you?” He grabbed the back of her head and smashed his lips to hers. Kendra pulled on his neck and stuck her tongue into his mouth. He lifted his hand under her tiny little skirt and kneaded his fingers into her ass as his mouth twisted into hers.

  “Okay, show’s over, folks.” Jake turned off the sound and camera. “Let’s give them a moment.”

  Madi bit her lip and Jake smirked at her appreciatively. “Is there anything you don’t know?” he whispered to her.

  She lifted up on her toes and quickly kissed his lips.

  Everyone stalked back into the main room in chatter as Michael stumbled back in from the bathroom. “Did I miss something?”

  A small snore escaped Grandma Dee’s lips as her head bobbed in the chair.

  Jake kissed Madi’s forehead. “Yep. Perfect.”

  ***

  KENDRA AND ROB tried to act like nothing had happened when they came back inside. Madi tried to pry, but Kendra was keeping quiet. She whispered to Madi that she’d call her later, before she left for L.A.

  Jake lumbered out of his office, followed by Steve, and Madi’s breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t seen them leave together, and Jake looked slightly beaten down. As Jake spoke with Dee, Madi motioned for her father to come join her in the kitchen.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “What were you and Jake talking about back there?”

  “Nothing, really,” he shrugged.

  “Daddy, you’re lying.”

  “Just a little man-to-man conversation. Do you know the ladies in the office have started asking me to get his autograph?” Steve leaned on the counter, folding his arms in irritation.

  “You’re not going to tell me what you talked about, are you? Just so you know, Jake would never hurt me. He loves me and I love him.”

  “You do, don’t you?” he asked with regard.

  “I really do. I need you to be nice to him. He’s the only other man I’ve ever really loved besides you, and it would mean everything to me if I knew you liked him.”

  Madi’s father kissed her cheek. “I’m not sure I’d like any man you dated, but as long as he makes you happy, I’m happy.”

  After everyone had gone, Madi slumped against the door, sliding to the floor, blowing the bangs out of her eyes.

  Jake watched her and strained his hand through his hair.

  “My family,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Your family is amazing, just like you.”

  “My father’s gone. There are no more points for brown nosing.”

  “Who said I was kissing his ass?”

  “What were you two talking about?” Madi asked.

  Jake’s hand scratched through his hair once again as he slid down the door next to her. “He wanted to make sure I’d take care of you.”

  Madi shook her head. “I’m so sorry. He means well.”

  Jake turned toward her. “Of course he does. If I ever had a daughter, I wouldn’t let her near someone like me.”

  “How can you say that?” she asked. “If I had a daughter, I’d be thrilled if she met someone like you. She’d be a lucky girl.”

  “Well, no daughter of mine will be dating a musician,” Jake replied adamantly as he stood, holding out his hand to help Madi up.

  Madi grasped his hand. “Oh, I see. So a musician is good enough for her mother, but not good enough for her?” Madi asked as she stood, placing her hands on her hips.

  A slow smile crept across Jake’s face and he licked his lips, glancing down then back up to stare at her, squinting his eyes.

  Madi’s smile faded immediately and she suddenly felt all the air rush out of her lungs. Her eyes and arms fell to t
he floor and she began to panic, considering how she could take it back.

  Jake’s head turned to the side as he examined her reaction. His hands slid into his pockets.

  Madi knew he was waiting for her. She felt a rush of warmth on her face. Memories of his bedroom when they first met came flooding into her mind.

  They stood in silence for what seemed an eternity, with Jake staring at her, unmoving, giving nothing.

  Madi couldn’t bear the silence any longer. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean, babe? Because it kinda sounded like you thought we might have a daughter together.”

  Madi closed her eyes before attempting to escape his stare by running away.

  “No, no you don’t,” he said, pulling her arm back to him.

  “You’re making something out of nothing,” she replied with downcast eyes.

  “You wanna have my babies,” he said with a smirk.

  “No! I most certainly do not!”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. I’m sure a lot of girls have wanted the same thing.”

  Madi’s eyes jumped to his face in horror and he burst out laughing.

  “You’re an ass!” she yelled as she turned to dart away from him.

  He pulled her back toward him and she pounded her fist playfully into his chest. He held her hands with his and she turned instinctively, flipping him over her shoulder and slamming him into the ground.

  “Oh my God!” she gasped as she flew to the floor where Jake lay with his eyes closed.

  “Jake! Oh my God! Jake, are you okay?”

  One eye peeked open at her and he smirked.

  “You son of a…” she said, hitting his chest again.

  He laughed but winced, seizing his back as he tried to sit up. “What the hell was that?” he asked.

  “Are you really okay?” she begged.

  “I’m okay. Just a little shocked. I think you might have knocked the wind out of me. How’d you do that?”

  “Rob taught me. I’ve been practicing for weeks. I didn’t mean to do it to you. I just reacted.” She held out her hand to him and he playfully held up his hands to her.

  “Don’t hurt me, lady,” he joked.

  Madi sat back on her heels as her lips curled into a frown.