You're Being Summoned, Darkness

by Natsume Akatsuki

  Apologizing and forking over more cash to the shopkeeper, I probably didn’t look as cool as I would have liked.

  “O-okay then, I’ve got to go find the rest of my party. See you later.”

  Partly due to my embarrassment, I raised a hand to wave good-bye to Yunyun…

  “What? Oh… Um…”

  Yunyun reached out a hand forlornly as if to stop me, but then drew it back and readjusted her arms around the plush figure. She bowed instead.

  “Th-thank you again for this General Winter toy!”

  So it was General Winter.

  The trauma of my own death at his hands left me feeling like I’d been shot with an actual arrow, but I decided to try to look pleased.

  I parted ways with Yunyun and went back to looking around town.

  My party members being as obvious as they were, I figured I’d run into them sooner or later, but…

  “Step right up! Who’s our next challenger?!”

  I turned toward the voice to see a large crowd.

  My curiosity led me closer. Everyone else drawn by the voice seemed to be unusually burly.

  When I got close enough, I could see…

  “All right, me next!”

  A beefy muscleman, probably an adventurer himself, stepped out of the crowd. He was in civilian clothes, so I couldn’t say exactly what his class was, but he clearly belonged on the front line.

  The man took the hammer from the shopkeeper, and…

  “YAAAAAAHHHH!”

  With a tremendous shout, he brought it crashing down.

  The object of his blow was some kind of rock.

  The hammer struck it, sending up little sparks. But as for the rock itself…

  “Damn. Still no good, huh?”

  The man’s rueful words were right. The stone didn’t have a scratch.

  At that, the shop owner raised his voice again:

  “Another good man unable to prevail! The prize money is going up to one hundred and twenty-five thousand eris! Ten thousand eris a try! Every time someone fails, another five thousand is added to the pot! Is no one here confident in his strength? Use all the magic you want! Test yourself against Adamantite! Anyone able to break it is qualified to call himself a first-rank adventurer! Who will accept the challenge?”

  I see. Boy, they’ve got everything around here.

  Given how I had occasionally thought of starting a business myself, this place had a lot to teach me.

  Still, with my skills and strength, I didn’t see myself putting a dent in that Adamantite.

  Suddenly, as I stared into the distance, I saw her for the third time that day.

  “We meet again, Yunyun.”

  She was by herself as usual, clenching her fists as she intently watched the adventurers slam the hammer into the stone. This time I greeted her openly.

  At first I wondered whether, as Megumin’s self-proclaimed rival, she might see me as an enemy, too, but judging by how things had gone earlier, she didn’t dislike me that much.

  When she saw me, she exclaimed happily, “Oh, Mr. Kazuma! Thank you again for getting me that plush toy. Look at this! They claim that rock is Adamantite!”

  Maybe they didn’t have street games like this in the Crimson Magic Village.

  “Yunyun, you can use Advanced Magic, right? Think you could break that stone? They say magic’s allowed.”

  “Me? Against Adamantite? I’m afraid not,” Yunyun said. “You would need to blow it up with some extremely powerful magic. Explosion might be a little much, but you’d need some kind of explosive magic, or at least blasting magic, to get the job done.” She smiled ruefully.

  As we were talking, yet another challenger showed up, failed, and went on his way.

  Before I knew it, the prize was more than two hundred thousand.

  The crowd got bigger and bigger, and the barker got more and more excited.

  “Maybe Adamantite was too much for the adventurers of this town! I came when I heard you had felled Mobile Fortress Destroyer. Are you going to let this stone go unshattered? Come on now, step right up! Have we no challengers?!”

  As he heckled us at the top of his lungs, adventurers began giving one another little shoves, urging their peers to try their strength.

  Everyone knew it was just a ploy on the barker’s part, but they also couldn’t stand that no one had managed to break the rock.

  As the gathered adventurers exchanged glances, a young woman slipped out in front.

  There stood my party member, puffing out her chest importantly. Her usual robe had been replaced with a black dress meant for streetwear.

  The look on her face was as satisfied as the day she had brought down Destroyer.

  “Your challenger,” she declared, “has appeared.”

  No sooner had Megumin said this than all the other adventurers there, including me, rushed to hold her back.

  7

  “Hey! Is this any way to treat a young woman who has not even done anything yet?”

  I had Megumin pinioned so I could clap my hands over her mouth if she started chanting.

  Each arm was in the firm grasp of an adventurer.

  “Hey, man, now that this kid’s here, you better close up shop! The whole town knows she’s crazy for explosions. She won’t be able to resist your challenge!”

  At my urging, the stall owner began to clean up, his face pallid and drawn.

  At the sight of the owner making his escape, Megumin began to struggle.

  “Ohh! But I can break that stone! My Explosion will annihilate it!”

  “Run, man! Run as fast as you can!”

  “Yeeeek!” The owner snatched up his supplies and departed with haste.

  Megumin watched him go in disappointment.

  When I was sure he was a safe distance away, I let her go.

  The crowd began to disperse.

  “Geez,” I said to Megumin, “I already can’t take my eyes off Aqua. Speaking of which, isn’t she with you?”

  “No. She said she had somewhere she wanted to go, so we split up. With all the money this town has received for annihilating Destroyer, we’ve been flooded with people hoping to take advantage, right? A little while ago, she had set up next to some street performers and was offering to do a better show for free than the one they were charging for. I believe they were in tears.”

  Actually, I…kind of feel sorry for them.

  I wanted to do something to help, but I also wanted to avoid getting caught up in anything else.

  I felt bad, but those performers would just have to manage on their own.

  That was when Megumin tugged on my sleeve.

  “Since we are here, how about we walk around town together? There are stalls all over. I considered wandering around intimidating shopkeepers.”

  “A-and here I thought you had more sense than that. Notwithstanding the explosion-crazy thing.”

  Amid this banter, as the two of us got ready to leave, a small voice came from behind us.

  “Um…”

  I turned around. Yunyun was watching us forlornly.

  “…Wanna come with?”

  For a second she looked thrilled—then she glanced at Megumin and seemed a bit stricken.

  “I—I came here to beat Megumin, not to get all buddy-buddy with her! Thank you again for your help at that archery stall. I really appreciate it! …But I certainly won’t go with you!”

  Then, hugging that unsettling plush toy to her chest, she backed away a step.

  “You heard her. Let us go, Kazuma.”

  “S-sure…”

  We left Yunyun, who had pointedly turned her back to us.

  “……Ahh……”

  With a deep, lonely sigh and a slump of her shoulders, she trotted away.

  She glanced over her shoulder as if she’d felt a tug on her pigtails…

  …and found us, following not far behind and eating a crepe-like thing we’d gotten at a nearby stall.

  “U-um…why are you fo
llowing me?”

  “I thought I might be able to witness the familiar sight of your tears when the loneliness finally got to be too much for you.”

  With that, Yunyun leaped at Megumin.

  8

  “Yunyun, you were always known for being embarrassed about your name despite being a member of the Crimson Magic Clan. At school you usually ate by yourself. I would parade around in front of you while you ate because you were so happy to challenge me…”

  “Now, hold on! I d-don’t think…it w-was…that bad… I—I mean, I do feel like we fought every day, but it wasn’t because I was lonely. I even had friends.”

  The three of us headed for the edge of town as we chatted.

  Why? Because in the course of our conversation, these two had decided to duel again.

  At Yunyun’s words, Megumin stopped dead.

  “Doth mine ears deceive me? Yunyun…friends?”

  “Wh-what? Of course I had friends! You knew them, too, Megumin. Funifura and Dodonko and everyone? They’d always be like, We’re friends, right? and then I would pay for their meals…”

  Aww, man. I don’t wanna hear any more.

  Basically, it sounded like this girl was the one sane person in a village full of crazies, and it hadn’t made her popular.

  What a tragic backstory…

  “And how do you plan for us to duel today? Being able to use only Explosion, I would prefer to avoid a magical contest.”

  “Good question… Wait, I mean, don’t you think it’s about time you learned some other magic? I’m sure you’ve earned some skill points since we were kids.”

  “I have. Every last one of them I have put into raising the potency of my explosions along with high-speed incantations…”

  “You nut! Why are you so obsessed with explosions, anyway?”

  Yeah! Preach, sister!

  “But this is a problem… How are we ever going to duel…?”

  “Whatever you like. I am no longer so childish as to be worried about these games,” Megumin said.

  Yunyun frowned to hear this detached pronouncement from my jailbait friend.

  “Oh, you’re not childish, are you? I recall we once had a contest to see who could grow the fastest. If you’re not a kid anymore, we could do that again…?”

  It was a good try, but Megumin wasn’t biting.

  “No, that is not what I meant by saying I am not childish. You see, I am so close to Kazuma here that we have already been in the bath together.”

  “?!”

  “H-hey! What’s wrong with you, spreading that around?!”

  “?!!?!?!”

  Yunyun had turned bright red and was working her mouth open and shut.

  “……I-I’ll give you this one todaaaaay!”

  And with that, she ran off crying.

  Megumin and I didn’t move for a moment. Then the little Wizard took something out and began to write.

  When I leaned in for a better look, she seemed to have some kind of notebook.

  She wrote down today’s date and a white circle of approval.

  “Another victory.”

  “Y-you call this a victory…?”

  After the weeping Yunyun had vanished, Megumin and I decided to head back to the house, too.

  “Oh, welcome home. Hey, look at these. One of the performers in town said he didn’t need them anymore and gave them to me. I guess he’s going to go back to his home and take over the family farm or something. I didn’t really follow. But it seems to be my lucky day!”

  When we got back, Aqua was sitting on the couch in the living room with some juggling rings and an air of self-satisfaction.

  Rings she had gotten by shattering a performer’s heart.

  I was about to tell her not to ruin people’s lives, but…

  “Darkness still isn’t here. I wonder if she’ll be back tonight,” Megumin murmured despondently, watching Aqua juggle the rings.

  But no. She wasn’t.

  Chapter 3

  May There Be a Good Match for This Noble Daughter!

  1

  “Hey, Aqua. I’m kind of getting tired of saying this all the time—move it. Since Darkness isn’t home yet, we still can’t go on quests. I’m going to work on the blueprints for the item I want to sell in Wiz’s shop, so make some room.”

  Aqua, as ever, had claimed the couch in front of the fireplace and curled up on it. She regarded me coldly.

  “What are you so upset about? You’ve been so prickly lately with Darkness not coming home… You know, when Megumin used to challenge that Yunyun girl, she always said everything has its price. Meaning, if you want me to give up this spot, you have to give me something I want in return. Like, say…”

  She stopped for a moment as if mulling it over. Then she said, “O you who would dwell in the place of the gods… Present me with some classy wine. Only then shall I let this warm light shine upon this wandering NEET…”

  Maybe I’ll just smack her.

  Stupid Megumin, teaching her to say something like that.

  “Listen, you worthless goddess. If you can demand a drink first thing in the morning, you can think of a plan. Why am I the only one doing all this work, anyway? I’ll figure out a way to cover the bill for Alderp’s mansion, so you come up with the money for the flood damage. Or maybe, if you have one apologetic bone in your body, you can just get out of the way.”

  “You know, could you stop calling me names? ‘Worthless goddess’ or ‘useless goddess’ or whatever? If you keep talking about me like I’m some fallen creature, one day you might really get punished for it. Who knows? Maybe this thing with Lord Alderp is actually payback because you don’t have proper respect for the gods. Maybe if you had an apologetic bone in your body, you’d say, I’m sorry, my radiant lady Aqua, and offer me some expensive wine. Go on, go buy it. I’ll wai—”

  “Steal!”

  I stuck out my hand toward Aqua and intoned my skill as she spouted nonsense from the sofa.

  With a jangling sound, her purse appeared in my hand.

  “Hey, what are you doing, you thief? You criminal! I should turn you over to the police! If they found out about this, you’d never prove your innocence! Eeek, criminal! What, you wanted money to buy wine? Of course, I meant buy it with your own mon—”

  “Steal!”

  I intoned my skill again over Aqua’s babbling.

  One of her socks appeared in my hand.

  Aqua stuck out the toes of her now bare foot and wiggled them vigorously at me as if in defiance.

  “What are you doing? It’s cold. Give me back my sock, you weirdo. If you don’t give it back right now, I’ll call the police and tell them someone is holding my sock and panting. If you understand—”

  “Steal!”

  What did Aqua even have this for?

  In my outstretched palm was some kind of seed.

  Her expression turned very uncomfortable.

  “H-hey, Kazuma, your cheap prank really isn’t very funny. I admit I went a little too far. I see that now. So let’s just say sorry to each other and make up, okay?”

  “Steal!”

  Aqua’s other sock teleported to my hand. I tossed it on the carpet.

  “I’m going to make some money. Give me that feather mantle—your ‘divine raiment’ or whatever you call it. I’m going to sell it. If you don’t want me to just strip it off you, go in the other room and change by yourself… Who am I kidding? You’ll never agree to that. I might as well just grab it.”

  I made sure she could see me flexing my fingers. Aqua scrunched up her face.

  “What are you talking about? This feather mantle is my very identity as a goddess—we can’t possibly sell it! That’s the most idiotic thing any idiot has ever suggested in the history of idiocy, and it’s not funny!”

  “Steal!”

  “Ahhh, Kazumaaa! My dear Kazuma! I was wrong to act all high and mighty! I was wrong! So stop! Please stop!”

  Several minutes later…r />
  “Aww…hic…sniff…hrrrgh…”

  Aqua sat on the couch, her knees in her chest and her face in her knees, sobbing.

  She was wearing…

  Well, other than the two socks she was missing, the same outfit she normally wore.

  “D-damn. Why would my Luck fail me at a time like this? What do you do with all this junk anyway?”

  At my feet was a mountain of worthless items.

  Seeds, cups, glass beads… Did she use them all for party tricks? It looked like some kid had turned their pockets out on the carpet.

  Damn. Thanks to Aqua and all the crap she was carrying, I’d used up way more magic than I’d meant to.

  “At it so early again? What is going on?” Megumin came in dressed as if for a quest and spotted me standing in front of the weeping Aqua.

  “Hic… Kazuma… He said he would sell…sell my clothes to pay our debt! He tried to…to take them from me!”

  “H-hey, shut up already! You want people to get the wrong idea?! I-I’m sorry. I apologize, too, so—don’t look at me like that, Megumin! I was just going to sell her equipment!”

  So Aqua was crying and Megumin was eyeing me with contempt. Just another morning.

  “Th-this is bad! Kazuma, it’s awful!”

  The peaceful atmosphere shattered when a beautiful young woman came dashing in.

  She wore an expensive-looking white dress that formed the very picture of purity and white high heels, and her long, lovely golden hair had been woven into a braid that hung over one shoulder. She looked like a runaway daughter from some noble’s household.

  For all the purity of her clothing, though, she couldn’t hide the eroticism of her body.

  But I’d never seen her before. How did she know my name?

  “…Who are you?”

  “Hrr—! Hrk! Kazuma! This isn’t the time for games! I appreciate your attempt at play, but save it for later, please!”

  The no-good nonsense spouting from this beautiful woman as her cheeks turned red made everything clear.

  “Geez, Darkness, is that you? We were so worried—you’re finally back!”

  My words distracted Aqua from her sniveling long enough to exclaim, “Waaaah! Darkness! Kazumaaa! Kazuma, he—he tried to strip me! He was going to sell my most prized possession—!”