The Power of Forgetting

by A M Russell

  ‘The rest?’

  ‘The rest who are not the originals.’ I thought I was being clear enough.

  Marcia looked very troubled then. ‘I think I’ve been replaced.’ She said.

  I think said "Oh." or something equally unimaginative. Joe came back. Davey had been on interminable tea making again. Oliver appeared from outside; he had slipped out a moment earlier. James, who seemed relatively unmoved by the whole thing was still sitting down.

  We sealed the door and gathered round. Marcia and Davey looked at each other.

  'We will all consent to be tested.' she looked at each of us, and added 'Including Me.'

  Davey nodded, and swallowed. He drew out the tiny blade; a bit like a letter opener.

  'Just a minute,' James leaned forward, and stabbed in Davey's direction with one finger, 'What about him?'

  'I will do it.' said Marcia.

  'I heard it doesn't work.'

  'Yes, it does.' Marcia had that exasperated face that she used quite a bit. She clearly had a method that worked. James shifted in the seat and put his cup on the ground, 'Perhaps we should test Jared first.'

  Marcia was still, calculating the possible difficulties. I didn't like the idea. I knew with absolute certainty that I wasn't one of these copies. That thing that haunted me.... Its habitation was in this body. I felt something uncurl inside; a tension from that darkness. I was staring at the floor. Marcia was speaking.

  'The test will be without prejudice. Anyone who is a copy will not be put out of commission. We know that the soul of that person can fully inhabit its own physical copy. So there must be some ground rules. We will mark copies. Oliver and I have already discussed this. And I'm sorry if anyone feels unhappy about this.'

  'How?' I looked up. One word. Hard, uncomplicated.

  She held up a marker, 'Right forearm. And anyone who doesn't comply if found to be a copy. It will be bracelets instead.'

  'Handcuffs?' Davey was interested now.

  'You can't imprison your own people.' James had that same edge in his voice. 'Besides, we should be looking for Janey.'

  'We'll do it in order of seniority after Davey.' Marcia was ignoring him. James sat back then. I kept my eye on him. Could be stress? Out of character. I didn't trust him right now.

  Davey held out his left arm. I saw him wince slightly as he nicked the skin on his own arm. There is was: red, life; proof of his wholeness. It didn't mean there wasn't a copy somewhere else.

  Marcia went next. I knew what she was thinking as Davey punctured her pale skin. She looked away and caught my eye for a brief moment, then looked back. The drop that saved her, and us; it wouldn't take much for any of us to behave out of character right now.

  Oliver twisted his head as far away as possible. I knew that this was really unpleasant for him. He really had to grip his right knee and lean forward, holding the left arm out in supplication. He passed the test.

  Joe passed the pads to Oliver and turned his own arm out in a relaxed way. He was okay too. Davey looked at me. I just raised my hand palm upwards towards him. Marcia was looking at me; her eyes burned with a dark flame. I was looking into her eyes, as Davey laid the blade again my skin. Then it stung really badly. I glanced down.

  'You are still you.' Davey sounded relieved.

  James held out his arm with a shrug, 'Ridiculous business if you ask me.'

  'No one is asking you.' Oliver had that low growl of warning.

  Davey pressed the blade in. And I looked back after I pressed down with the pad on my own arm.

  There was a little whitish powder. And something clear, a bit like sap. James looked directly at me. I met his gaze without comment. Joe handed him a pad.

  'It's okay.' said Marcia, 'This helps us. We have a first generation copy. This may actually help us.'

  James was quiet, compliant. Marcia uncapped the pen and marked him on the right one with a "C".

  'That is for cooperative.' she said, 'Joe, take James and do the medical checks. We need to see what varies. Apparent blood pressure; temperature... Keep it simple.'

  Joe just nodded and James got up a followed him without complaint.

  'Poor James....' I heard Davey say, 'but does it mean...?'

  'It means that someone's been into our camp.' Oliver sounded almost relieved. He was quite himself, and had that look that I remembered of old.

  'There is something more to this than we are seeing.' I said.

  The three of them we're all eyes on me. I found, with a start of surprise Us Four who had been on the Buggy rescue mission. They were all listening. Being vindicated as being actually human in front of them all had made me see our predicament.

  'Let's hear it.' Marcia folded her arms: she was not going to be a pushover, so I better not ramble. I needed my "these are the facts, here's what we can do about it" approach. It had worked back then. Davey thought I had it cracked; getting the group to comply. I guess the motivation of not being ordered by Base command had something to do with it. That, and the one thing that always matters; real lives, that are really at stake. Not just the physical, but the mental life.

  I thought of Jules as I paused to find the right succinct phrase.

  'We are all going to be threatened by these copies. Either as physical simulations of ourselves; or first or second generation fully operational forms; which we might ourselves have our conscious mind inhabit.... Partially or fully. There is too that fear that something else has been inside these forms, either sharing or taking over the space within.... And I put it to all of you: what should we be prepared to do in each case? Especially since these.... ego states could be changed without us having any outward clue. We must protect the living first. I say that anyone found to be a copy must be destroyed.'

  They all were silent then.

  Davey spoke first; and with an over controlled tone in the way he was wrestling to retain an objective view.

  'Jared is right. We will not help the real people unless we are prepared to deal with the copies.' he looked to Marcia. She had gone very pale. There was that look again. Grim but necessary.

  'Wait here. Then we'll decide what to do about Janey.' she met my eyes then went to the medical bay.

  Davey took the little knife out again. He was looking down so I could not see what he might be thinking.

  All three returned; Joe, Marcia and James. James came to me: 'I'm sorry. I had no right to speak to you that way. I want you to find us. I only remember back to this morning.... Then nothing. The switch has been made recently; I think.... Adam too. But I don't know. I don't want to be in this.... This thing! So find us. Please Jared.' he turned away and nodded to Marcia. She and Davey followed James back into the med bay. Several minutes passed in which Oliver found torches and small flares.

  'And then there were six.' he muttered.

  I went and retrieved my shirt and lighter jacket. Thought that we might get prickled and put the khaki long trousers on. I was lacing my boots up, when Marcia and Davey returned.

  'Oliver, Jared, you will take a sweep of the whole area. The three of us will stay here twenty minutes max guys. Davey and Joe will go through the tent and the extra kit. See what we can find. You'll keep talking on the open channel. Oliver, get the headsets.'

  'Already done.' he held one out to me.

  'Take my knife.' she handed the sheath to me.

  'Time?' said Oliver.

  'Two-twenty.' Marcia was the reference point.

  We were both synchronised and took the powerful torches clipped to our belts too. Joe zipped and clipped the tent shut behind us.

  "Alright boys?" Marcia came through loud and clear. I tweaked the output on the head set down slightly.

  ‘Here Marcia, just leaving the perimeter.’ We circled to the right, and then turned keeping the dome in view all the time. There was a patch of thicker forested vegetation to the left of the entrance we went round and then tried to penetrate the dense thicket. Nothing. I watched Oliver turn and start to move again. We loop
ed again and cover wider arcs. Until we were at the beach path. We crossed it to the right and covered the boundary where the scrubby grass took over. We turned and started to search the ground near this area. The moon was almost setting now. Soon it would be the dead hours of the night. Three AM.

  ‘At the beach.’ I said automatically, ‘nothing visible yet.’

  “I hear you.” Marcia sounded flat, tired I supposed.

  ‘Look,’ Oliver said, ‘footprints. There and there.’

  ‘That’s the path down onto the beach itself.’ I reminded him, ‘that’s our prints from earlier.’

  ‘They are here as well.’

  I followed Oliver; there were other prints. They were unclear in the soft sand. But we followed them anyway. they went down onto the firmer sand. They were clearer here.

  ‘We found something.’ Oliver said over the wireless, ‘Footprints; not ours.’

  “Extreme Caution Reece.”

  ‘Of course,’ then to me, ‘I always am….’ Then some welsh that I couldn’t translate.

  Both of us looked at the trail. We stood still. There just ahead, the abruptly stopped.

  ‘Well would you look at that….’ Oliver was astonished. The firm sand told no other story. No tire tracks. No other footprints. No sign of anything else in the area. We were well away from the shore line. The sea had been going out for several hours. Perhaps we had not been meant to finds these…. An elementary mistake. By nine; this morning in fact the tide would wash them away.

  “Report Reece.”

  ‘We found footprints. They just stop.’ Oliver was really at a loss for words. You could not track something that left no track.

  “Arden, report please!” now she sounded irritated.

  ‘There are no further footprints…. Possibilities; they could have lifted off the ground. But there is no sign of a down draft from an airborne vehicle; there are no other marks of any kind. We’re walking round the area…. there is nothing at all. We can’t see any evidence of any other person or transport being here at all.’

  “That will do. Come back now boys.”

  ‘Alright.’ Oliver was taking measurements. He looked up.

  ‘Size eight or nine.’

  ‘Man or woman?’

  ‘I would say female; but then again; they not all built like us.’ Oliver had a crooked smile. He was I suspected quite crude on occasion. But never when there were women present.

  ‘Any one in our group?’ I asked him.

  ‘I don’t make a habit of staring at people’s feet.’ Oliver stood up, ‘there is one possibility. Could a copy have come here…. And just dissolved?’

  ‘It’s not Janey.’ I was getting a funny feeling about these footprints, ‘she’s a size five or six; depends on the style of shoe.’

  Oliver straightened up, ‘You worry me Arden. You see things that are just too detailed. It is a bit weird.’

  ‘Artists are weird.’

  ‘Oh yeah; I forgot that bit. It is true then?’ we started back across the flat.

  ‘About weirdness? Or someone for who a profession is all about looking… actually looking at things and remembering what they are.’

  ‘I see. So you have seen them before?’

  ‘I thought I had… I cannot be sure. It’s not making any sense.’

  ‘We’ll get back. There’s only a couple of hours until sun up.’ Oliver led the way.

  We took a direct enough route back. And got to the entrance with no trouble. It was then I heard it. A soft sound. Tiny; insistent. Familiar.

  ‘Did you…?’ I said and stopped. Oliver stood listening too.

  He pointed to our right. In the deeper part of the bushes. I heard it again.

  We found her just behind a tree. She must have walked back from the direction of the beach. She was lying in a spreading pool of something dark. There was no time to get angry or panic. I stayed and Oliver quickly ran to get Joe.

  ‘Listen…. Jared; Please listen.’

  ‘Hush…. Janey, it’s alright. Joe is on his way.’ I pressed the shirt I had taken off bunched up against the wound. She was bleeding too much. And I didn’t know how recent this had been inflicted. Or by whom.

  ‘Who was it?’

  ‘It is them. They are trying to take your element….’ She screwed her face up in pain, and then panted hard.

  ‘Is it you?’ I said softly.

  ‘Yes.’ She reached for my hand, ‘the other does not want the pain. It is too much. It is more than they are used too.’

  ‘The other who was here?’ I touched her forehead.

  ‘Dear Brother…. Don’t let them take everything from me. I should not have let this happen. I….’ at this I propped her against me, and circled my arms around her; ‘I am here… it’s alright Janey my dear; I’m here.’

  ‘I’m not horrible…. In this body?’

  ‘No. never. Janey? What kind is it?’

  ‘Third generation. It dissolves more prettily! No nasty gloop… or messy powder.’ She laughed for a moment, and then groaned. ‘Save us. Pen. Have you a pen?’

  ‘Yes. Side pocket. Left leg.’ I took out the marker.

  ‘There’s no time.’ She turned my left wrist over. And then wrote down numbers on my hand.

  ‘So now you have me.’ She smiled, ‘In the palm of your hand.’

  The pen rolled to the ground. I felt… what? Relieved that she didn’t hate me now? It was strange. I felt an odd ambivalence. This body was not horrible…. because she was in it. But it was made in a lab. The cleverness of clever people!’

  At that moment Joe came with Oliver.

  ‘Get her back to the dome. Oliver.’ Joe didn’t bother with the usual first aid. Oliver lifted her out of my arms and took her through the dome and into the medical bay. I tried to follow, but Joe stopped me. ‘This isn’t what you need to see right now Laddie.’ He said and turned away. Marcia and Davey were in the main area as I slowly lowered myself into a camping chair.

  ‘Coffee?’ someone said.

  ‘No…. no.’ I wasn’t trying to think of what we had to find out. We needed more than just a map reference. I had so many questions. I looked down at my hand. There was blood. It looked so real. Dammit! It was real…. To all intents and purposes it was. I didn’t need to be a doctor to see that under normal circumstances, she wasn’t going to make it. But then these were far from normal circumstances. Marcia went to kitchen area with Davey… they were talking. I couldn’t hear what was said. It was as if, it all had been for nothing. We were trapped. They knew. They must know? Had Janey… our real Janey been found out? I didn’t dare think about it. Sooner than I expected Joe called me in. They had bound her wound, and cleaned her up. Joe had put her on a drip. Saline.

  ‘Hey? How is it now?’

  ‘Shitty. Well you know.’ She was shaking.

  ‘Painkillers are useless.’ said Joe, ‘the physiology just doesn’t match.’ He and Oliver exchanged a look. They both left.

  ‘I am in a lab,’ she said without preamble, ‘it’s all paid for by the Nimbus project and two others. There are some lies that have been spread about the so called “Circle of Five”. Two of those names are false.’

  ‘Which ones?’

  ‘John Briar, and Io Ream. They are both from the future. They are not part of this. They are actually trying to stop them.’

  ‘Who do they work for?’

  ‘Just listen.’ She said, ‘lean close to Me Jared. It hurts to speak. I’ll whisper to you.’

  I moved round and gently hugged her, so that her head rested on my shoulder.

  ‘It is like this…. We are all the experiment; but some proved hard to break into than others. I was willing that made it easy. Oliver and Davey are impossible. Marcia is only represented by a physical form. If you see one kill it! The others… I cannot be sure of anything. But they must all be destroyed. All of them. I want you to destroy this one. And then come and find us. You have to keep this form alive just long enough to get close to
the new base they have built our here. Then ask Davey to break this…. House, apart.’

  ‘Janey… I’m so sorry.’

  ‘No…no. there’s more. You and I have been conditions to respond to each other’s voices. There was a trigger that was used for all the commands that they tried to get us to follow. But something wasn’t how it should be. Alexander… Mr Rimmington wants what you have got Jared. You are they only one who can complete his research.’

  ‘But I’m no scientist.’

  She coughed then; a little clear liquid stained her lips. It turned a little bluish like ink.

  ‘No… no… that is why they wanted you! Don’t you see? It was not what you knew….’ she coughed then, ‘Oh my….’

  ‘Janey?’ I turned her face towards me. Her skin was pale with a little bluish staining on the lips. She was breathing though. What did this mean? I had no way to tell. She had been about to tell me something.

  ‘I think she fainted; or something.’ I made a helpless gesture to Joe who came through the curtain first.

  Out in the main space I needed to sit down really badly. Davey had gone in to be with her. Marcia was eyeing me in a way that meant here was something on the horizon.

  ‘Tell me in the morning?’ she prodded me into movement. I went back to my pod. It was only a few moments later that I lay inside my sleeping bag, exhausted. I felt cold now. And grateful for the warmth fell asleep.

  *****

  Ten

  There was a little golden powder on my hands. It was like pulverised gemstones. Something mineral and scented; the kind of thing that girls put on their faces on a night out...

  I sat up suddenly; 'Janey!.' my head throbbed, and I sat dazed for a moment. I licked my lips. Dry feeling in the mouth, cramped left arm where I had been laid in an odd position. I listened. No one was about.... Well, if they were, they weren't making any noise.

  I went to the main tent space. No one here either. In my strangely void of recall state; I edged in the kitchen area. I made a huge mug of tea, leaving the bag in. Just then there was movement.