Hopeless

by Cheryl Douglas

  “I know,” he said quietly. He could only imagine how painful it must have been for the young girl to admit to Victoria and herself that she couldn’t cope with the responsibility of being an unwed teen mother without any family to support her. “Askin’ for help is nothin’ to be ashamed of, honey. We all need a little help sometimes, right?”

  She offered a small affirmative nod before she said, “Victoria just seems so strong, so capable, ya know? I just thought if my baby could have a female role model like that in her life, maybe she could grow up to be a strong woman, too.” A tear slid down her cheek, followed by another. “I just want her to have a chance at a good life, and I know I can’t give her anything. I don’t want to give her away, but I don’t know what else to do. I mean, how am I gonna support her?”

  Jay felt like he was walking through a minefield with no clue how to avoid the potential danger. “What did Victoria say when you asked her to adopt your baby?”

  “She freaked out.” Lena swiped the tissue across her pale cheeks. “She said she was sorry, but she couldn’t do it. Then she just took off.”

  Jay could only imagine what must be going through Victoria’s mind right now: guilt, shame… fear. He had no doubt she would be an incredible mother if she gave herself a chance, but he knew her financial resources were limited, and being a single parent was never easy, emotionally, physically, or financially. Maybe she’d be willing to consider it if she had support. He had more than enough money to support all three of them more than comfortably, but he knew Victoria was too proud to accept his help.

  “Lena, where are you stayin’ right now?”

  She lowered her head, looking ashamed. “At the shelter.”

  “Listen, I have a friend with a daughter who’s just about your age. He has a guest house. Why don’t I give him a call, see if he’d mind if you stay there for a while, until you figure things out?”

  She looked panicked. “No, I couldn’t. I mean, I appreciate the offer, but…”

  Jay could only imagine what this girl had to endure living under a stranger’s roof. It was no wonder she preferred living in a shelter, with people she could relate to. “Have you ever heard of Trey Turner?”

  “Sure, who hasn’t?”

  He smiled. “Well, that’s the friend I’m talkin’ about. He and his wife Sierra are amazing people, and I know they’d love to help you.”

  Her mouth fell open. “You’re not serious. Why would rich, famous people like them want to help me? I’m nobody.”

  It killed Jay to know she felt so worthless, but he knew he couldn’t impact her self-image in a day. Maybe, in time, she’d begin to see the future possibilities, but for today, Jay was more concerned about her physical safety and sense of security. “Would you mind if I gave Trey a call? See what he has to say about the possibility of havin’ a houseguest for a while?”

  Lena shrugged, as though she was bracing for disappointment. “Whatever.”

  Jay pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Trey’s number. “Hey, man, it’s Jay. You got a minute?”

  Trey chuckled. “For you? Anytime, you know that.”

  The fact his father was one of Trey’s best friends meant the famous singer always made time for Jay and his brother, no matter how busy he was. “I got a favor to ask.”

  “Anything.”

  Jay smiled. Trey was always willing to step up and help a friend or stranger in need. “I have a friend who could use a place to stay for a while.”

  “Uh sure, the guest house is open. What’s his name?”

  “Actually, it’s a she.”

  Trey chuckled. “I thought you had your eye on the pretty little martial artist I met at your old man’s place?”

  “Victoria. Yeah, I do. Actually, Lena’s a friend of Vic’s, that’s how I know her.” Jay cleared his throat, wishing he were alone so he could tell Trey the whole story, but with Lena sitting right in front of him, he didn’t want to risk embarrassing her. “She’s just about Alisa’s age.”

  “Where the hell are her parents?”

  Jay sighed. “Look, you mind if I stop by in a bit?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Jay was getting ready to hang up when Trey said, “Jay, whatever her story, tell your friend she’s got a place to stay, as long as she needs it.”

  “Thanks, man, I owe you one.”

  “No worries. See ya in a bit. Hey, when you come, bring the girl.”

  “Will do.” Jay disconnected the call and smiled at Lena. “I told you it wouldn’t be a problem.”

  She looked stunned. “That was not Trey-freakin-Turner. You’re lyin’.”

  “No, darlin’, trust me, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  “Why would he want to help me? It doesn’t make any sense.”

  Jay shrugged. “Maybe because he’s a good guy, or maybe it’s because he’s a dad, or hell, maybe it’s because he’s like family to me. I don’t know. What I do know is that he’s waitin’ on us, so come on, let’s go get your stuff and head on over there.”

  Lena stood up and extended a shaky hand to Jay. “Thank you,” she whispered. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

  He grinned. “Can I get a hug?”

  A huge grin split her face right before she launched herself into his waiting arms.

  It was inconceivable to Jay that a teenage girl managed to shove all of her worldly possessions into a trash bag in a matter of minutes, but Lena had.

  The ride out to Trey’s house was quiet, with only soft country music in the background to mask the silence. He knew Lena was scared of being thrust into an unfamiliar world yet again, but Jay knew being with Trey and Sierra, and more importantly, their daughter Alisa, would be the best thing for Lena right now. It would help her to see life as it could be, instead of accepting that her life was destined to be a dead-end on the road to nowhere.

  Jay turned into the winding drive and waved to the security guard manning his post at the gatehouse.

  Lena’s mouth fell open when they passed the small guest house.

  He could only imagine how it must look to her, someone who had probably spent most of her life residing in bedrooms the size of his walk-in closet. “I know this may seem a little intimidating at first, but trust me, Trey and Sierra are regular people, just like you and me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Like you maybe. They sure as hell ain’t like me.”

  Jay knew Sierra’s background was more like Lena’s than the girl realized, but it was Sierra’s story to tell, if she chose to, not his. “You treat them right, they’ll treat you right.” He eased his truck up to the front doors of the sprawling stone and stucco bungalow and cut the engine. “You ready to do this?”

  Her big dark eyes were wide and frantic. “I don’t think I can. I don’t belong here.”

  “Will you at least meet them?” He knew the Turners would make Lena feel at home, if she set aside her fear long enough to give them a chance.

  She bit her bottom lip as she looked up at the imposing, hand carved wood doors. “I don’t know. What if they don’t like me?”

  It took everything in Jay not to reach out and hold her hand, but he knew she wasn’t used to random acts of kindness from a stranger. Her life had been about the struggle to survive up to this point. It was probably inconceivable to her that her meeting with the Turners would go smoothly, that they might just like her because they could see she was a good kid who just needed a break.

  “Come on,” Jay said, reaching for his door handle. He didn’t intend to give her time to reconsider her decision. He jogged around the front of his truck and pulled her door open. “If you’re not comfortable here, I promise I’ll take you back to the shelter.” He held his hands up. “No pressure, okay?”

  “Okay,” she whispered. She reluctantly took Jay’s hand as he helped her out of the big truck. “Thanks.” She followed him up the steps and stood behind him as he rang the doorbell.

  Trey opened the door
, a huge grin splitting his tanned face. “Get the hell in here,” he said to Jay, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a half-hug.

  “Trey, this is the girl I was tellin’ you about. Lena, this is Trey Turner.”

  Trey tipped his cowboy hat a second before his eyes fell to the girl’s protruding stomach. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Jay. To his credit, he didn’t miss a beat as he offered his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lena.”

  She cleared her throat and lowered her head before taking Trey’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m a big fan.”

  Trey chuckled. “Can’t have too many of those.”

  Sierra came out of the kitchen, scarcely looking old enough to have a daughter nearly Lena’s age. With her long blond hair pulled up in a ponytail and her face scrubbed free of make-up, she didn’t look like the lady of an impressive mansion. “There you are,” she said, walking toward the group. She pulled Jay into a hug. “We’ve been waitin’ lunch on you.”

  Jay smiled. “You didn’t need to, but thanks.”

  She winked. “I talked my hubby into grilling his famous basil burgers.”

  “I take it back. I’m glad you waited on us.”

  Sierra laughed before including Lena in her smile. “Hi, you must be the friend Jay told us about. We’re so happy to have you.”

  “Lena, this is Mrs. Turner,” Jay said, slipping his arm around Sierra’s waist.

  Sierra reached forward to pull the young girl into a quick embrace instead of offering her hand. “It’s Sierra. Mrs. Turner is Trey’s mama.”

  Jay’s heart swelled as he watched Lena pat Sierra’s back awkwardly. He was so damn lucky to have so many amazing people in his life. If only Victoria had stuck around long enough to get to know them better. Judging by the brief amount of time they spent with her at the birthday party, he knew they were already crazy about her. Before long, she would be one of them, and instead of having to face every battle alone, she would have all of them to love her and support her through the tough times.

  Sierra slipped her hand into Lena’s. “My daughter, Alisa, is out by the pool. Come, I want you to meet her.”

  Jay watched Sierra lead Lena outside. He’d hoped offering Lena a place to stay might solve her immediate problems, but when he saw her with Sierra, he realized she may finally have a hope of finding a real home.

  “I can’t thank you enough for doin’ this, Trey.”

  “You know I oughta kick your ass.” The two men exchanged a brief smile. As big and tough as Trey had been on the football field in his prime, there was no way he could take Jay down on his best day. “You coulda told me she was expectin’, boy.”

  “Would it have made a difference?”

  Trey looked out the French doors his wife had just passed through. “I don’t know. I have a feelin’ Sierra’s maternal instincts are already kickin’ into overdrive. That’s what worries me. I don’t wanna see my wife get hurt. If she trusts Lena, and she lets her down—”

  “She won’t. Lena’s a good girl. I don’t know her well, but I have a really good feelin’ about her. She’s had a rough life; she just needs somebody to cut her some slack.”

  Trey slapped Jay on the back as he led him out to the patio. “That I can do.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Victoria stared at the embossed card as she tried to keep her hands from trembling. She’d never asked for help before, never been willing to admit life had dealt her a blow she couldn’t handle on her own. But this time it had. She couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Lena to fend for herself, but the thought of being a mother, of taking responsibility for a helpless infant knowing full well she may have to leave her someday, was more than Victoria could bear to think about.

  “Dr. Greene’s office.”

  Victoria thought about hanging up, but with the same courage she’d attacked every problem she’d faced, she said, “Would it be possible to schedule a phone consultation with the doctor?”

  “Do you have a referral from your family physician?”

  “Yes, Dr. Dalton referred me.”

  “Dr. Greene doesn’t usually conduct phone consultations, miss.”

  “I understand, but I’m calling from out of town. I was hoping…” She was praying the doctor would be able to help her forge a new path in life. She didn’t want to live in fear anymore. She didn’t want the cancer to steal her remaining days. Whether it was months or decades, she wanted to make the most of the time she had left.

  “One moment, please.”

  Victoria held her breath as she waited and prayed the doctor would agree to work with her.

  “Hello.”

  The voice on the other end of the phone line wasn’t the same as the first. This woman sounded serious, as opposed to genial. “Um hello, my name’s Victoria Pierce. I was hoping to talk to Dr. Greene.”

  “Victoria, ah yes, Dr. Dalton told me to expect your call. My receptionist said you weren’t able to come in to the office for a session?”

  “I’m out of town right now.” Running scared.

  “I’m just taking a quick lunch break right now. I have a bit of time to talk.”

  Victoria knew approaching an esteemed psychologist this way was highly inappropriate, but she didn’t have anyone else to turn to. “I’m sorry to bother you on your lunch break, but—”

  “Think nothing of it. Why don’t you start by telling me why you called today?”

  “I’m not sure if Dr. Dalton told you about my medical history, but I had stage three ovarian cancer almost eight years ago.” Victoria waited, but when the doctor didn’t respond, she continued. “I’ve had difficulty coming to terms with it.”

  “The cancer or your remission?”

  The question was so blunt, so unexpected. “Um, I’m not sure. I’m afraid the cancer might return,” she whispered. “I think about it every day.”

  “You went through a traumatic ordeal; it’s not uncommon to continue suffering the effects many years later. Tell me, have you told your family or friends how you feel?”

  “I don’t have any family or many close friends.” She didn’t want to hide from the truth anymore; she knew if she expected the doctor to help her, she had to be honest about everything.

  “Your parents have passed on?”

  “No, ma’am.” She gripped the telephone receiver harder. “I’ve never known either of them. I grew up in foster care.”

  “I see. Victoria, did something happen that prompted you to call me now?”

  “Yes, I have an opportunity to adopt a baby. I want to, but… I’m scared.”

  “What are you afraid of?”

  How could she put her irrational fear into words that would make sense to a rational person? “I’m afraid the cancer may return, and then I would be leaving an innocent baby to fend for herself.”

  “The way you had to fend for yourself?”

  “Yes.” She was determined to hold back the tears, at least until she hung up the phone, but it wasn’t easy.

  “But you don’t know how long you have; none of us can predict the future.”

  “I know.” Rationally, she knew it was true, but it still didn’t put her mind at ease.

  “Are you prepared to love this baby?” the doctor asked quietly.

  Victoria’s mind flashed back to the blip she saw on the ultrasound machine. “With all my heart.”

  “Do you think you have something of value to offer an infant?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  She knew the doctor was challenging her because it was the only way she was going to be able to face the truth. “I know I’m strong, independent, capable, intelligent…”

  “If you were to adopt, and ten years down the road, you died, what’s the one lesson you’d want to leave your son or daughter with?”

  “To be fearless…” she whispered. The doctor didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. They both knew Victoria had an epiphany in the short time they’d be
en talking. “Thank you.”

  “This isn’t the end, Victoria. It’s only the beginning. You have a long and difficult road ahead of you. I’d like to help you, but I can’t until you’re willing to face your fears.”

  “I am.”

  “Good, call me when you’re ready to set up an appointment.”

  Jay stepped onto the elevator in his condo building and groaned when he saw his brother. He had a long and tiring day, and he couldn’t deal with any more advice. Everyone he’d talked to thought his decision should be simple. If he cared about Victoria as much as he said he did, he should just track her down and force her to face what she was feeling for him, assuming he hadn’t imagined the depth of their connection. He knew her feelings for him were real, but he also knew he couldn’t force her to acknowledge them if she wasn’t ready.

  Mike grinned. “You look like hell.”

  “Thanks, so do you.”

  “Liar.”

  Jay rolled his eyes. His brother was one cocky S.O.B. “Quit givin’ me grief. I’m not in the mood tonight.”

  “You wanna come over for a beer?”

  Jay considered his options. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep; he’d probably toss and turn thinking about Victoria, wondering where she was or willing the phone to ring. “Sure, why not?”

  They stepped off the elevator and Jay followed Mike into his condo. Their units were almost identical, except for the interior features and furnishings they’d selected. Jay preferred warm, traditional décor, while Mike seemed to favor to sparse and modern. Jay suspected his brother had just been too lazy to finish decorating the place, but at the moment, he wouldn’t care if they were sitting on orange crates.

  Jay sank down on the smooth leather sofa and waited for Mike to return with the beer he’d promised.

  Mike passed him a bottle before claiming the suede chair opposite him. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

  “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “Yes, you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.” Mike kicked his booted feet up on the leather ottoman between them. “I’m listenin’.” He tapped the face of his watch. “But the clock is tickin’. I have a date in a couple of hours.”