To Love and to Cherish

by Leigh Greenwood

  She pulled her chemise over her head and reached for her dress. Fortunately she’d chosen a dress that fastened down the front. She was dressed in less than a minute. A couple of minutes to repair the damage to her hair, and she was ready to leave the bedroom. As she passed through the doorway, she turned and looked back. That small, plain room had been the arena for her physical and emotional awakening. Whatever happened, it would always have a place in her heart.

  ***

  Laurie was excited. Jared was going to show her part of the ranch, and she would be riding rather than driving her buggy.

  Naomi had been in favor of Laurie’s desire to learn how to manage a ranch, but she had insisted that Laurie let Colby teach her to ride before Naomi would lend her horse or her sidesaddle. So for the last week, Laurie had spent her evenings with Colby teaching her how to stay in the saddle while Steve made fun of such an awkward way to ride horse. On Sunday they’d gone for a long ride after church. Naomi had borrowed Sibyl’s horse, and Peter and Esther had ridden their ponies. They never went beyond a fast trot, but Colby had pronounced Laurie ready to handle the rougher terrain of the ranch.

  Jared eyed the sidesaddle with disfavor. “Are you sure you can stay on a horse with this thing?”

  “You know I can. You’re just looking for an excuse to send me back to the kitchen.”

  Jared grinned at her. “I was thinking that you’d be safer riding double with me.”

  Laurie laughed. “I will not be seen riding in a man’s lap. The thought of the gossip that would start makes me quake.”

  Jared sobered. “I don’t think much of anything makes you quake.”

  Laurie wasn’t sure how he meant that. “I’m learning to have a little courage. Now help me into the saddle. I want to see as much as I can before I have to come back and fix supper.”

  Once in the saddle, Laurie hooked her leg about the pommel and gathered the reins.

  “You look like you’ve done this before.”

  “Naomi made Colby teach me before she would lend me her horse.” She hadn’t told Jared what she’d been doing because she wanted to surprise him.

  Jared swung into the saddle. “We won’t be riding on flat roads or alongside the river. Let me know if you start feeling uncomfortable.”

  Not unless she fell out of the saddle first. Riding gave her a sense of freedom, a feeling of control she’d never experienced. Maybe it was the speed. Maybe it was seeing the world from much higher up. Maybe it was no more than controlling an animal bigger and more powerful that herself. After feeling confined for so many years, she felt she could go anywhere she wanted, do anything she wished. She knew it wasn’t true, but she loved the feeling.

  “Where are we going?” she asked as they rode down the trail toward the river.

  “Nowhere in particular. I thought we’d ride along the river and see if we could find anything interesting.”

  Laurie gazed up at the Mogollon Rim that rose two thousand feet in the distance. “Are we going up there?”

  “No. When it rained down here the other day, it snowed up there.”

  She could see snow on the pine trees. It formed a vivid contrast to the mild temperature on the valley floor.

  “Okay, teach me how to run a cattle ranch.”

  The next hour was as boring as it was exciting. She didn’t find talking about soil quality or the amount of rainfall interesting, but it gave her a new way of seeing the world around her. The Verde was no longer just a river. It was the foundation of life in this part of the territory. Grass was no longer a weed, and trees were important for more than lumber. A boulder-choked canyon became an oasis in the desert. Most important of all, a cow became interesting for more than its ability to provide meat.

  An unexpected result was that the discussion gave her a new way to see Jared. The more he talked about the ranch and his plans for the future, the more excited he became. She could understand and value what Herefords could do for the quality of the herd, but Jared became so excited he bubbled with energy. His expression became so serious, so intense, she felt like a heathen and he the preacher trying to convert her.

  “Do the other men feel the way you do about the ranch?”

  His enthusiasm waned. “Steve and Odell like it okay, but the others are here only until they can earn enough money to get a start somewhere else.”

  “What will do you when they leave?”

  “I don’t know. It depends on whether Norman gives me a loan.”

  That was something they hadn’t discussed. Now seemed like a good time, but noise in the distance gave her thoughts a different direction. Jared brought his horse to a stop. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Can’t we go see?”

  He looked uncomfortable. “It’s not something a lady should see.”

  “Why? What are they doing?”

  “We’re reducing the number of longhorn bulls. I don’t want any left by the time the Hereford bulls arrive.”

  “How are you doing that? I don’t hear any shots.”

  “We’re castrating them.”

  She’d had a sheltered existence, but she knew about castration. “I want to see how it’s done. I know it’s what you do to make steers so they’ll gain weight. It’s something every rancher needs to know.”

  Jared hesitated.

  “I’m not going to faint.”

  “It’s not just that.”

  “What?”

  “It’s a dirty and dangerous job. The men don’t watch what they say.”

  Laurie wanted to laugh, but she refrained. “It won’t be the first time I’ve heard a curse. My father has never worried about his language around me or my mother.”

  “But the men will have to sit across the table from you afterward.”

  “Are you worried about me or them?”

  “Both.”

  “I’ll be fine. I expect the men will be, too. Now let’s go.”

  When he didn’t move, she started her horse in the direction of the noise. Jared caught up.

  “Let me go ahead and warn them.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t want to distract them, and I don’t want them to think seeing me where they’re working is anything unusual.”

  “It will be.”

  “Then it’s time to change that.”

  She could see a cloud of dust before she could see the men. When they reached the clearing in the brush, she saw that the men had surrounded a large bull that was being held to the ground by ropes tied to the saddles of three horses. Clay held a fourth rope around its front legs. Odell was attempting to get a rope around the hind legs. Laurie brought her horse to a stop out of their line of vision. This was no time to cause a distraction.

  Their language was colorful, but it was no worse than her father’s when he was angry. The men were covered in dust, sweat had soaked Loomis’s shirt, and Nick had lost his hat. Steve’s face was flushed with excitement. Odell managed to get a rope on the bull’s hind legs. He was jerked about like a rag doll until he was able to tie off the rope on a sturdy maple.

  “Get the goddamned knife and make it quick,” Loomis shouted at Odell. “This bastard is going to be mad as hell when we let him up.”

  A quick slash of the knife caused the bull to bellow in fury. Odell stepped away, tossed the bloody appendage in a bucket, and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

  “Let him up.”

  “Not until I’m in the saddle,” Nick said. “We had bulls in Sicily. They could kill a man who was slow to mount up.”

  “We’d better get out of the way,” Jared told Laurie. “That bull isn’t going to care who he blames.”

  The animal sported horns that projected nearly three feet on either side of his head. Laurie didn’t want to think of the damage they could do. “How will the men get away?” she asked Jared.

  “They’ll be on horseback before they release the last ropes. We just need to be a safe distance away. I’m not comfortable with you in that saddle.”

&n
bsp; “Would you be more comfortable if I rode astride?” He looked so shocked Laurie couldn’t repress a laugh. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t embarrass you like that. Now what else can we do? I have about an hour before I have to start supper.”

  ***

  Jared tried not to get his hopes up, but what other reason could Norman have for asking him to come to the bank than to tell him that he was giving him the loan and that they needed to discuss terms? If Norman meant to refuse, he needn’t have bothered to meet at all. He certainly wouldn’t have asked Jared to make the long ride to town. Jared was already trying to figure out how to tell Laurie he wouldn’t need her money. That would be a lot easier than telling her she couldn’t work at the ranch any longer. Norman had avoided making that a requirement for getting the loan, but Jared had no doubt that he would soon.

  He would miss Laurie. Just thinking about not making love to her caused his body to ache in protest. He’d been with many women in his life, but not one of them came close to giving him the pleasure he enjoyed with Laurie. Her combination of youth, beauty, and physical lushness was almost more than his senses could bear. A man was lucky to find one of the three in most women.

  To find all three provided in such generous amounts by the hand of Mother Nature was a miracle. Even now he could practically feel the softness of her skin and the warmth of her embrace. Her smile, whether from across the table or on the pillow next to him, had the power to render him unconscious of anything else. There was so much energy, so much life in her that it was impossible not to be drawn to her.

  The men were completely under her spell, and all she had done was cook for them and smile while they ate. She never flirted or behaved improperly in any way, but each one of them felt she had a special fondness for him. She was a sorceress, as powerful as the ancient Circe, able to cast her spell on any man she chose. She had enraptured him more easily than the others and with even less effort. He was under her spell, ensnared in her net, her helpless slave, powerless to resist her.

  Yet what if he must? Where would he find the courage and the strength of will to go against something he wanted as much as food to eat, air to breathe? He would give anything to be able to thumb his nose at Norman, but doing so would compromise the futures of the men and Steve, as well as himself. Even if he had been willing to sacrifice his share, he couldn’t do that to the others unless he had no choice. And he had choices. He just had to make the best one.

  Part of his confusion stemmed from the puzzling coolness Laurie had shown him lately. It was hard to point to anything specific, but he could feel it. It hung in the air between them, invisible but undeniable. Her smile wasn’t as warm and didn’t always reach her eyes. She seemed to be giving more attention to the men and less to him. She didn’t turn to him as quickly when he spoke to her, her answers were shorter, and she took longer to complete her work each day. Their talks in his study had dwindled to little more than an exchange of information about the day.

  He couldn’t figure out what he’d done to cause this change. When he asked her if she was upset, she assured him she wasn’t and wanted to know why he thought she might be. He couldn’t just come out and say she wasn’t smiling at him as brightly or glancing at him as often. Theirs was a business relationship, not a romantic one. If he’d had any doubts or hopes that had changed, her repeated intention to remain unmarried, despite Steve’s daily attempts to change her mind, would have banished them.

  It wasn’t that he was thinking of asking her to marry him—he hadn’t seriously thought of marrying anyone until Norman mentioned it in connection with the loan—but she would have made a perfect wife for him. He hadn’t said or done anything to make her think he had marriage in mind because she was adamant she would never marry again. However, things were different now. Would she change her mind if he asked? He wasn’t sure. She had seemed to be so happy with him at first, but after making love several times, she seemed to lose interest in him.

  But if he were to marry her, Norman wouldn’t give him the loan and he’d never have the money he needed for Steve and the men.

  His fruitless mental agonies came to a halt when he drew his horse to a stop in front of the bank just as Martha Simpson was emerging from it. She smiled when she noticed him.

  “We don’t see you in town very often,” she said to him as he dismounted. “Are you afraid our weak, female hearts can’t withstand the strain of having such a handsome man in our presence?”

  “That’s never been a problem. Actually, no one seems to have noticed my absence.”

  “Well, I have. As I said before, there can never be too many attractive single men in town.”

  Jared pretended to be scandalized. “I am shocked to hear such a statement from you, but you said you were a bit forward.”

  Martha threw him a provocative glance. “How unkind of you to remember my faults rather than my virtues. I do have some, you know.”

  Jared relaxed his frown and laughed. “I’m sure you have many. Maybe we could have dinner sometime and discuss them.” He didn’t know where that came from. He hadn’t thought of Martha in a romantic way. But after Norman’s demand, he had to start thinking of somebody that way. From her apparent interest in him, Martha appeared to be a good choice.

  “Is that how you court a girl out West—invite her to dinner to discuss her virtues?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t been here much longer than you.”

  “No one else has shown much interest in my virtues.” She appeared to be disappointed.

  “I’m sure it’s just an oversight.” He looked up at the front of the bank and thought of his meeting with Norman. All desire to flirt evaporated. “I have to go in there, but I’d rather have dinner with you.”

  She leaned in to whisper, “I understand Mr. Spencer can be a difficult man.”

  “I’ve heard the same thing.”

  “At least he’s not afraid to speak his mind.” She scowled. “I’d better be going before my father begins to wonder what mischief I’m up to.”

  “Do you get into mischief often?”

  “Not often enough. Bye.”

  Her salutation contained so much challenge it put a smile on Jared’s lips. If he had to marry to get his loan, maybe he should think seriously about Martha. She was the first woman other than Laurie to make him smile. The smile disappeared soon enough when he entered the bank. Not even Cassie’s cheerful welcome succeeded in restoring it. By the time he entered Norman’s office, he’d forgotten it altogether.

  “I noticed you talking to Miss Simpson before you came in,” Norman said the moment Jared was seated.

  “I arrived as she was coming out of the bank.”

  “She’s a lovely young woman. Have you asked her to marry you yet?”

  Fourteen

  It was all Jared could do not to gape at Norman. The man must have lost his mind. “I’ve only met her a few times in the street.”

  “Have you met her parents? They’re a solid, dependable pair, even if her father is a preacher.”

  “I’ve met very few people in town. I’ve been too busy at the ranch.”

  Norman leaned forward, a scowl on his face. “I heard you were dragging Laurie all over dangerous parts of your ranch on horseback. That was bad enough to expose an inexperienced rider to such danger, but what possessed you to let her stay where they were castrating a bull? That’s nothing a woman like my sister-in-law should know anything about, much less be forced to witness.”

  How did Norman manage to know everything that happened at the ranch? Did he have spies? “Laurie wanted to see the ranch. She’d been asking me for days. I warned her about the castration, but she insisted on staying.”

  “You should have forced her to leave.”

  “Laurie has been forced too often in her life. She’s a grown woman capable of making up her own mind.”

  “No woman is capable of making up her mind. That’s why she has a husband.”

  Jared could see no future in trying t
o change Norman’s mind about Laurie or anything else. “I’m not her husband so you can’t expect me to tell her what to do.”

  “Of course you can. You’re a man.”

  This was a dead-end conversation. “If you feel this strongly about it, I suggest you talk to Laurie.”

  “I have talked to her, as you well know, and she ignores me.”

  “If she can ignore you, her former brother-in-law and the executor of her late husband’s estate, you can’t expect her to listen to me. I have no hold over her.”

  “You can fire her. Then she’d have no reason to go near your ranch.”

  “We’ve already been over this. I need someone to cook and clean for us, and Laurie is the only woman who’s been willing to take the job.”

  “Once you’re married, you won’t need anyone else to cook and clean.”

  “That may be, but I’m not married.”

  Norman leaned back in his chair, giving Jared an exasperated look. “Are you stupid, or don’t you understand what I’m saying?”

  “I’m not stupid, but I’m not sure.”

  “If you want this loan, you have to be married. Personally, I don’t care whether you’re married or not, but Laurie has to stop working for you. The only way I can be sure of that is if you’re married.”

  Jared could hardly believe his ears. He’d thought getting Laurie to leave the ranch was the reason behind Norman’s offer to reconsider his loan, but he hadn’t expected Norman to turn it into a bald-faced command. “Do you seriously expect me to invite Miss Simpson to dinner and ask her to marry me before we’ve had dessert?”

  “I don’t care how you do it, but until I see your engagement announced in the newspaper, I won’t give you the loan.”

  “I gather your meeting didn’t go well,” Cassie said when Jared emerged from Norman’s office.

  “Do meetings ever go well with him?”

  “Not recently. Will you be meeting with him again?”