Feeling This

by Blue, Casey

  “It’s very nice to meet you too, Mr. Rhodes.”

  “Oh, no need for formalities, you can call me, Ben.”

  “Okay, Ben.”

  Jordan steps forward and asks, “What does she want now?”

  His dad looks back to Jordan and tells him, “Oh, don’t worry about it. It was really nothing. I’ll give you some privacy. It was really nice meeting you, Kimber.”

  He leaves closing the door. I’m dumbfounded at the title he gave to his dad. My voice comes out soft, “Did you just tell him that I’m your girlfriend?”

  Jordan laughs gathering me in his arms. He mumbles against my cheeks, “I did. Is that alright with you? It just seemed like the right thing to say.”

  I nod at a loss for words. He actually wants to be with me and only me. Somehow this just hasn’t sunk in yet.

  “My dad seems to really like you.”

  I slap his shoulder as he brings me back to my previous mortification, “Jordan, that was so embarrassing.”

  I push him away and warn, “No more hanky panky while we’re here. The last thing we need is your mom walking in here. I get the impression she isn’t a big fan of mine.”

  He shakes his head, “Don’t worry about her. She barks worse than she bites.”

  Good to know. I’m still not feeling very good about this whole thing though, I should have just stayed home.

  A short while later after we’ve relocated to the back porch overlooking the massive pool, Ben, Jordan’s dad, comes out to tell us that dinner is ready. He tells Jordan to go ahead of us, and that he wants to get to know me. This worries me but I’m cornered, I have no choice.

  As we walk slowly to the stone steps he acknowledges, “Kimber, I don’t know where Jordan has been all this time and I don’t know where he found you. But I see something in him, something that has been gone for a while.”

  I ask, “Since Susan’s death?”

  He nods carefully, “He told you?”

  “Yes, it’s terrible that he had to endure that.”

  “I agree, but I think you are good for him. I wanted to thank you for being there when he needed someone.”

  I’m shocked at his words but completely flattered.

  I brush it off, “He is a wonderful man. I didn’t do anything.”

  “That is where you are wrong. We weren’t sure we would ever get him back. I think you are the cause of him ‘waking up’ and I am very thankful.”

  By this time we are to the door that opens up to the kitchen. He pulls the handle gesturing me in first. Once in the expansive kitchen, he leads me to another room off to the right. A dining room housing a perfectly round dining table complete with five other people sitting around it. I scan the eyes all suddenly focused on me and find two pairs that momentarily make me want to run.

  Jordan gets up and pulls out the chair next to him. I slide in wanting to flee as fast as I can. Once his dad is situated, Jordan gestures around the table introducing each person. His mom dismisses me as if I’m not here but the two women, Jennifer Fontaine and her mother Margaret stare with interest. I can feel myself turning inward as if I can roll up into a ball and disappear. God, I wish I could.

  Jordan lifts a bottle of wine from the table and fills a glass perched in front of my place setting. Once he is finished, his hand finds mine under the table and I hold on tight as if my fate depends on it. The daughter, Jennifer who is really very beautiful, begins with the third degree. Her hair is long and curly almost the platinum blonde, the color of Heidi’s. Her brown eyes bore into me as she asks, “So Kimber, where are you from?”

  My voice is strained when I try to answer so I start over, “I, uh, I’m from Mount Vernon, about an hour and a half drive from here.”

  She looks over to Jordan with a slight chuckle, “Jordan, how could you end up in a place like that? I heard some things about Mount Pleasant, that isn’t far from there is it?”

  I sink backward hoping that disappearing thing could happen very soon.

  Jordan ignores her and turns to his mom, “What time is the wedding tomorrow?”

  She shifts in her seat and takes a sip of her wine before answering, “It’s at five o’clock, black tie at the club.” Her eyes look over to me with a question in her face. I know exactly what she is thinking. And no I don’t have anything good enough to wear to a black tie event at a country club.

  An older woman comes bustling in with a tray. She sets it down in the center of the table and removes the cover. A platter full of steak and chicken, enough to feed twice this many people, rests on the tray. She hurries out and back in bringing side dishes and setting them around the table, my mouth waters just looking at the variety of food. I haven’t had an opportunity to eat this well in a long time.

  The table is silent as the food is passed around and plates are filled. I am about to take my first bite of chicken when the chick across the table states in an annoyed tone, “Let’s not beat around the bush here and let the elephant out. Jordan, we are all wondering what exactly is going on in that head of yours.”

  A bite is halfway to my mouth but my fork drops as I realize she is really asking about me. Everything in me says run. That one word echoes through my brain over and over. This was a huge mistake thinking everything would be okay coming here. I am nothing like these people.

  I spy my wine glass, lift it and gulp it down as Jordan hisses at her, “Jennifer, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I do know,” He takes a deep breath while looking at each person around the table, “that each one of you will make Kimber feel welcome. She stays as long as I do.”

  Obviously embarrassed, his mom speaks up, “Well, dinner is getting cold. Everyone eat up. I know Maria would be heartbroken if we let all of this food go to waste.”

  The rest of dinner I don’t touch my fork again. Instead I make sure the wine glass is full. Conversation flows about sports, politics, and the impending wedding but I drown it out fully intending to leave before I can be humiliated anymore. Jordan’s hand hasn’t left mine and he continues to softly nudge me, encouraging me to eat something. I ignore him and drink more wine. By the time everyone has finished, Mr. Fontaine and Mr. Rhodes escape to whatever they call the library. I’m shocked, they have a room they call a fucking library. More wine please.

  The three bitches across from me begin talking about dresses and other things uninteresting. Jordan ushers me out of the chair. I almost trip and fall on my face but he catches me chuckling. I don’t bother to look back, I’m sure they saw but I don’t give a shit because I’m leaving this place tomorrow.

  Jordan pulls me out the back door leading me down the steps out into the grass. I have a hard time keeping up so he tells me, “Hop on my back.”

  I step back and look at him like he’s crazy.

  “Come on Kimber.”

  He leans down, letting me jump up. I start giggling as he topples to the side making us both fall to the ground. The alcohol and lack of food makes everything spin more as I fall. My giggling turns to laughter and I can’t get up. He crawls closer and leans over me, forcing me onto my back. The grass is damp but it feels cool on my skin, refreshing from the hot air surrounding us. Jordan leans in kissing first one corner of my mouth and then the other. He lifts his face back, looking down into my eyes and reminds me, “Kimber, remember, you are my life now.”

  I nod as if in slow motion. My hands grasp the back of his head gently nudging him forward. His lips finally cover my waiting mouth. I open welcoming his tongue. When I close my eyes, the spinning continues but I ignore it concentrating on the warmth spreading down from my lips to other parts of my body. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist causing him to lurch forward, pushing him off balance. After a minute he pulls back attached to me everywhere but our lips and utters, “I thought no more hanky panky while we’re here.”

  I wave it off and roll my eyes, “ Who gives a shit.”

  He laughs and picks me up all the way so that he is standing w
ith my arms and legs still wrapped around him. He walks forward, kissing my neck. I rest my head on his shoulder temporarily in the only place I want to be. Tomorrow is another day.

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  Jordan

  I knew bringing Kimber back home would make her feel uncomfortable. I had planned on it actually. What I hadn’t planned on was my mom being a snob. As soon as she told me Jennifer Fontaine is staying here, her plans became crystal clear. I dated her before I met Susan. She was probably my only other serious relationship through the years. She hated Susan back then. I just thought it was because I grew up with her and Susan was new to our circle, just a girl envy thing. But last night, her very blunt comment at dinner made it evident what her intentions have always been.

  I broke up with her when I went away to college but when I came back home that first year for breaks we still fucked occasionally. It never meant anything though at least I thought it didn’t.

  I felt terrible that Kimber had to endure her long time wrath last night. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. At some point I will need to set her straight once and for all. I glance down at Kimber as the morning light seeps in through the blinds. She shifts in my arms flipping her face toward me on her pillow. A smile spreads before she opens her eyes and she mumbles, “This could get very addictive, very fast.”

  I smile back as her beautiful blue eyes open to stare at me. I ask, “And what might that be?”

  “Waking up in your arms, I could get very comfortable right here.” She nuzzles closer into the crook of my neck nipping with tiny kisses. I pull her closer, tightening my hold on her.

  “Well hello there. I think someone else is happy to see me too.”

  Just at her little joke, I get harder and want her right here and now. She lifts her head sliding out from under my arm. It feels colder all of the sudden. But then her hand pushes my shoulder, forcing me to lie on my back. She looks up into my eyes and asks, “Jordan Rhodes, let me take care of you.”

  I snicker at her use of my exact words. She lowers her hands to my boxer shorts lowering them over my cock. Her hands gently stroke me, forcing my breath to speed up. I reach for her but she shakes her head looking into my eyes. A sly smile spreads as she lowers her body, slinking down my bare chest. I can hardly contain myself she is so fucking sexy. Her hands rub, teasing the tip and then her tongue follows. It’s already almost enough to make me come but then she sinks her mouth around me. With the up and down movement, my breathing is ragged and I can’t contain it any longer. I whisper through my teeth, “Kimber, I’m coming.”

  She locks her lips firmly over me, taking every pump that comes out. Once I’m spent she raises herself slinking up my body and kisses me fiercely. I love this woman so much and she needs to know how I feel. I break our kiss and say, “Kimber, you are the most amazing woman I know. I…”

  A firm knock echoes through the room. She scurries off of me as I cover my body with the blanket. I call out annoyed, “Who is it?”

  The knob turns but it’s locked so the voice on the other side calls out, “Jordan, breakfast is almost ready. Maria made your favorites.” My damn mother.

  “We’ll be down in a minute.”

  A minute passes before Kimber rolls back toward me with a small smile. Then her face turns serious, “Jordan, I think I need to go home.”

  I frown, inching closer and my hand strokes her hair, “Kimber, just for today. We can drive back tonight after the reception if you want. I just need you here with me.”

  Before she can say anything else I tell her, “I am so sorry that they were mean to you last night. I won’t allow anyone to treat you like that again.”

  She glances past me at the window and agrees, “As long as we can leave tonight. I want to make sure Momma is doing alright and I have nothing to wear to a black tie wedding.”

  “Then we will have to go shopping for a dress.” I smile trying to make it sweeter although I already know what her reaction will be.

  “Jordan, I can’t…”

  I put my finger over her lips, “Remember I want to take care of you. I will buy you a dress.”

  She smiles sweetly and kisses me.

  We get dressed and head down to breakfast. The same exact scene greets us this morning except my mom, Jennifer, and Mrs. Fontaine are smiling. I’m leery of what they could possibly be planning. As soon as Kimber sits down, Jennifer pipes up,”Kimber, I was wondering if you would like to go shopping with me and my mom today.”

  Kimber squirms in her seat and looks over to me. I glare across the table but Jennifer holds her hands up and declares, “Well, first I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I was so rude last night. The Susan thing is so new to all of us still. We are all dealing in different ways.”

  I’m about to protest, knowing Jennifer is doing anything but mourning Susan’s death. But she cuts me off, “I’m sure you need something to wear tonight and the boys are all going golfing. Dave wants Jordan to go since he hasn’t seen him in a while.”

  Kimber straightens her shoulders and squeezes my hand under the table. She answers, “Actually that would be great. Jordan and I were just talking about going shopping but I think he should go with his friend.”

  I lean over to her ear and ask, “Are you sure? She’s a shark.”

  She nods and smiles. In that moment I see not Kimber but a tiny bit of her best friend in her expression. God help Jennifer if Kimber is channeling her inner Heidi.

  An hour later, I am asking Kimber for the twentieth time if she is absolutely sure. She has assured me it will be nothing and that I should go and have a good time. I finally relent, giving her my credit card and tell her there is no limit, whatever she wants. Her eyes widen when I tell her and she tackles me in a hug. This is so funny coming from Kimber, the most down to earth girl I have ever met. I guess when it comes to shopping, most women are the same.

  I walk her down to meet the women. My mom has decided to join in on the fun and worry fills me. I’m so close to calling off the golf game but she turns with a sure smile and kisses me goodbye. She follows Jennifer and her mom out to their Range Rover. My mom lingers back and tells me, “I’m going to watch over Kimber and make sure Jennifer and her mom don’t eat her alive. Jordan, you need to figure out what you want. Leading a girl on like this is not fair to her.”

  I ignore her implication and choose not to engage in an argument about it right now. Instead I tell her, “Thank you Mom.” And kiss her on the cheek. I walk out to the porch and wave as Kimber smiles at me through the window. Knowing my mom is going makes me feel so much better.

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  Kimber

  I’m surprised that Mrs. Rhodes is going shopping with us but a little relieved. When they asked this morning about shopping I was shocked but I also had a feeling where it was coming from. Jennifer wants to intimidate me. So I thought ‘what would Heidi do in this situation?’ She’d be a bitch right back. I am determined at this point not to let this chick bother me. In the grand scheme that is my life, she means nothing. Jordan has made it pretty clear where I stand and last night at dinner his anger at her radiated off of him. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry.

  Mrs. Rhodes slides in to the backseat beside me and lifts her mouth in a half smile. That’s probably all I’m going to get from her. She says softly eyeing my jeans and pink t-shirt, “Maybe we should get more than just a dress.”

  I shrug my shoulders and glance forward. Jennifer is talking to her mom animatedly about the bridesmaids and their dresses, switching to something about getting her hair and makeup done. I am guessing she is in the wedding, thank God. Maybe she’ll keep her distance.

  The day drawls out pretty fast. Jennifer doesn’t say very much to me all day. When it’s time to look for a dress, Jennifer takes off to another store on her own. Mrs. Rhodes and Mrs. Fontaine stay with me taking me to a small boutique called Papaya. It seems like a hole in the wall but when I glance at some of the price tags
, I am appalled. I could eat for a year with the cost of some of the dresses. I let them pick various dresses out for me to try on. Since it is black tie they choose vibrant colored dresses. The first one in the batch that I try on, I instantly fall in love with. It is a deep red cocktail dress with a halter style top. It hugs every part of me perfectly and the color makes my skin glow. Reluctantly, I leave the dressing room afraid of any criticism. Mrs. Fontaine is the first to make a comment, “Well, Kimber, that was quick. I think we found your dress.”

  Mrs.Rhodes agrees, “You look ravishing in that color. I think it is perfect.”

  My smile beams at their reactions. I was sure they were going to hate it. I rush back to take it off. Once I’m dressed and I fit it back on the hanger, I glance at the price, $600. There is no way I can pay that much of Jordan’s money for this dress. He told me unlimited but he couldn’t have meant this much. I walk out reluctantly, without the dress.

  Mrs. Rhodes asks, “Kimber where is the dress? I thought you liked that one.”

  I stammer uncomfortably, “I do. I just can’t…”

  She frowns, “Did Jordan offer to pay for it?”

  I nod even more uncomfortable. My hands start twisting with apprehension. She glances at my hands and her eyes widen but then she asks, “You don’t know much about him do you?”

  This about pushes me over the edge, but before I can run away and bury my head out of embarrassment she sets me straight, “Mr. Rhodes owns one of the most prominent tech companies in the country. Jordan can afford that dress and if he told you to buy a dress, he meant it so go on and get it. We have limited time today.”

  I turn to the dressing room and bring the dress back out. After the transaction I step out into the sun to find that Jennifer has joined them. Mrs. Rhodes tells them, “Ladies we need to find some shoes then we’ll meet you for lunch at Chateau Brielle.”