Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford)

by Schwimley, Victoria

  Hatred and jealousy overcame him. His desire turned to anger. He jumped from the bed, threw on his clothes, and stormed out of the room, leaving Jessica lying there, naked and vulnerable, trembling in shock. She began to cry uncontrollably. She rolled into a ball, pulled the blankets over her head, and cried herself to sleep.

  **********

  CHAPTER 29

  Jessica spent a miserable Christmas with her family. She cried most of the day and snapped at her mother the rest. Not even April’s cherub face or infective laugh could rouse her from her misery.

  Sarah did her best to console her daughter, begged her to tell her what had happened, tried to be patient when she wouldn’t.

  Not even Amy could invoke her confidence.

  When Amy and Randy were ready to leave, Amy pulled her aside. “What are you going to do about Brandon?”

  Jessica shook her head. “I don’t know. I love him, but I can’t imagine a life filled with so much jealousy. If he’s this possessive when we’re engaged, what’s going to happen when we’re married?”

  Amy hugged her. “I’m cheering for you two.”

  Jessica smiled, thanked her, and bid them a teary-eyed farewell.

  On New Year’s Eve, John talked her into going out with the group, but she felt like a third wheel. Everywhere she turned she saw couple engaged in romantic liaisons.

  At the stroke of midnight, couples kissed. Jessica found herself walking alone down Times Square. A man bumped into her. She turned to apologize, and gasped when, for a fleeting moment, she though he was Brandon.

  “I’m sorry, miss. Is something wrong?”

  “No,” she said. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

  He smiled. “No harm done. Happy New Year, then.” Then he rushed on.

  “Happy New Year,” she called to his fleeing back.

  Brandon called often between the two holidays, but Jessica wouldn’t take his calls. He sent her telegrams, flowers, candy, cards in the mail, and cute little emails, which she deleted without even opening.

  Finally, tiring of the harassing correspondence and meaningless gifts, she sent an email of her own. She begged Brandon to give her some time. She promised to let him know her decision when she arrived at it.

  She hadn’t seen him since that night in the motel. He had left a note for her with the desk clerk, and had sent a car to drive her home.

  In January, Brandon sent her a brochure in the mail describing an anger management program he had entered. He wrote a note saying he understood her feelings, but reassured her of his love and his desire to change. She began to feel hopeful.

  The wedding was planned for early spring. However, as the day approached, she felt overwhelmed with apprehension. She and Brandon began to talk on the phone again, but skirted the topic of the wedding. There were still so many plans to make. Invitations needed sending, the caterers, the musicians… The church was begging confirmation of the date, as they had several requests for the weekend she had booked, but she couldn’t bring herself to commit.

  She was sitting in her office one day in early February, when she received a phone call. When she picked up the other end, it was Brandon. He was in town and asking to see her. She was surprised to discover that she wanted to see him. She agreed to meet him for lunch.

  She sat anxiously waiting for him to arrive. When he did, she stood and beamed a smile at him. He awkwardly approached, unsure if she would welcome a kiss. She stepped forward and embraced him. When she pulled back, she kissed him gently on the cheek.

  “You look great,” she said.

  “And you look more beautiful than ever.”

  She demurred. “Stop,” she said, but giggled nervously.

  “How’s work?” he asked. “Have you been on any trips?”

  She shook her head. “No, just stuck at home. I don’t mind, though. I’m really tired of the traveling.” They paused in silence. “How’s your mother?”

  “She’s good. She sends her love. She really likes you. She said...” He paused. “I have to get this right. In her own words ‘Brandon, you’re a pompous idiot, and if you let that girl get away, I will disown you'.”

  Jessica laughed, and could actually picture Virginia Phillips saying those words. “How’s Matthew?”

  Brandon nodded. “Likewise, he thinks I’m a fool.”

  “How was your Christmas?” she asked.

  “Miserable,” he said, “But blessed, too.”

  She looked down a moment. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  He brightened. “We had twin calves born on Christmas Eve. That was quite exciting. Hazel named them Kris and Kringle.”

  They both laughed, easing some of the tension. By the end of lunch, they were laughing like old friends. It was so great to see him. When he started to leave, he didn’t pressure her, but asked if he could kiss her goodbye. She readily agreed and was thrilled to discover the old passion between them was still there.

  “I still love you,” he whispered. “I'm so sorry for what I’ve put you through. I promise I’m a changed man. I have all that anger under control, and also the jealousy. I’m ready to move forward if you are.”

  She could see and feel that he had changed. She hesitated for only a moment before responding, “I love you, too. I have been miserable without you. I’m impressed with the progress you’ve made. I think I’m ready to move forward, as well.”

  Things moved quickly after that, and before she knew it, she was in a flurry of wedding plans. Sarah was relieved to see her daughter’s spirits revived, and Amy began to diet voraciously to fit into her matron of honor’s gown.

  In early March, she received a telegram from Jeffrey. She had not seen him since that dreadful night in the hotel room on her California trip. He said he had just returned from a trip and wanted to see her. She felt apprehension at receiving the telegram and pushed it aside. She accepted the invitation, but only to let him know they had to end their dangerous tryst.

  She prepared for their rendezvous with a potpourri of emotions. She enjoyed their time together, of that, she could not deny, and that thought excited her. She was, however, determined to make Jeffrey understand for the last time that she did not want to be with him. She loved Brandon and was determined to make it work with him. This thought sent butterflies dancing in her stomach. What if he wouldn’t respect her decision? Of course, he wouldn’t accept, “no”—he had been pursuing her for months now. She doubted he would give up easily. She would have to stand her ground.

  In the bathroom at the restaurant, she brushed her hair, stared into the mirror, put on lipstick, eye shadow, and freshened up her blush. Then, on second thought, she grabbed a paper towel, soaked it and scrubbed it all off. She wasn’t about to be accused of enticing him.

  When she was confident she resembled more of a maid than a maiden, she pushed open the door and prepared to meet her enemy.

  One look at Jeffrey, sitting at the table waiting for her, melted her resolve. He was, if it were possible, more handsome than the last time she had seen him. She took a deep breath and pushed on.

  When he saw her approach, he rushed to his feet and pulled her in for an embrace.

  “Jessica, it’s so wonderful to see you.”

  He stepped back to look at her and frowned. He gingerly touched her face. “Are you all right, it appears someone tried to peel your skin right from your face.”

  Bingo, desired effect. She touched her face.

  “I’m fine, just a touch of an allergic reaction,” she said, and to herself added, to you.

  “Well, here, sit down.” He pulled out her chair for her, and then pushed it in as she sat down. She thanked him.

  “It’s nice to see you again,” she said, politely. I’m glad I was able to get away on such short notice. I’ve been so busy these days, what with all the wedding plans and all.”

  He laughed. “Still on the wedding are we? Well, I’m not worried. You’re not married yet. I still have a chance.”


  “No. You don’t have even the slightest chance. And if you’re going to talk like that I’m leaving.”

  He threw up his hands in protest. “Okay, let’s just enjoy our lunch. I highly recommend the salmon. It’s served over a bed of wild rice and topped with an ever so light champagne sauce. It’s superb. Not as good as the meal in San Francisco, mind you—but still superb.”

  She closed her menu, ignoring his reference to San Francisco. “It sounds delicious. I’ll take your advice.”

  “So, does Brandon know we are lunching today?” he asked after the waiter had taken their orders.

  “You know very well I didn’t tell Brandon. Quit trying to make trouble.”

  “I’m just thinking—if you two have such a terrific relationship as to warrant, say, oh, I don’t know, a lifetime commitment like marriage, you wouldn’t have to lie to him about your dining companions.”

  “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him,” she protested. “If he asks, I’ll tell him. Now drop the subject. Tell me where you got such a terrific tan over the holiday. By the way, your mother was quite distraught over your absence.”

  He shrugged. “Mother is melodramatic.”

  “And you’re shallow and callous.”

  He waved her away as the waiter brought their salads and bread. She busied herself with eating.

  “So, are you going to tell me where you’ve been off to?” she asked between bites.

  “Oh, I went here and there,” he replied. “I spent a little time in Florida, then on to Mexico. I just got back from a Caribbean cruise,” he said, hoping to impress her. “I came home because I was lonely and I missed you. How would you like to go to Spain with me? Or England, yes, we could go to England. You tell me where you want to go.”

  She sighed in exasperation. “As tempting as a trip around the world sounds, you know I can’t do that.”

  “Not can’t, won’t. You won’t do it. Admit it. You want to.”

  “Well, of course, I want to. Who wouldn’t want to? But I really can’t. I’m getting married, and the last I knew, taking a trip around the world with your brother-in-law is not listed as an acceptable practice in the etiquette for dummies book.”

  “Who cares? Those are all just foolish rules. I hate rules.”

  She glanced up from her food and eyed him intently. “That’s the problem, Jeffrey. You don’t have any respect for rules, or people. You’re only interested in Jeffrey.”

  “Well, someone has to be interested in Jeffrey. Jeffrey’s been shunned his whole life. This is all I have. Don’t take it away from me.”

  She stared, incredulously. Finally, she shook her head. “Poor Jeffrey, you’re incorrigible. You don’t even know what you have.” She eyed him with pity. “If you don’t wake up, you’re going to lose it all.”

  He looked down at his plate, which stood untouched. After several moments, he looked up. “I’m not the one who lies to you.”

  “What are talking about?”

  “Brandon. I’m talking about Brandon. Did he ever mention to you that he was married before?”

  “You’re making that up,” she said, “in a pathetic attempt to make him look small. It won’t work, Jeffrey.” She stood to leave and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down.

  “Please, sit and listen.”

  When she didn’t attempt to leave again, he continued. “Her name was Christina, but we all called her Tina. She was beautiful, and headstrong, and loved life. She hated New York, so she spent most of her time in California. All she wanted to do was travel the world. This was rough on Brandon since he had the ranch to run. They were always arguing about it. Brandon blames me for her death.”

  She eyed him suspiciously. “Why would Brandon blame you?”

  “He left me to look after her; he thinks I failed.”

  “I would hardly think it was your responsibility to look after your brother’s wife.”

  “Try telling Brandon that. I told you, Tina was stubborn. Brandon left for a business trip once, and as I said, he asked me to look after Tina. It had been raining for days and Tina was feeling…well, to use her own words ‘like a caged pet’.” She wanted to go on a trail ride. I begged her not to go, I knew the trails would be slick with mud, but she wouldn’t listen to me. I even tried to tell the groom not to let her take her horse out, but she managed anyway.”

  Jessica watched as he wiped tears from his eyes. Had he loved her, too? Pity hung in her heart like a weight. This rivalry between the two brothers hadn’t started with her, but with another woman in Brandon’s life. Admittedly, he had her hooked. She had to know the details.

  “What happened?” she asked. “What happened to Tina?” she whispered. She touched his arm lightly, but withdrew her hand when he looked down at it.

  “It’s still a big mystery. Her horse came home without her. She was out there for two days before I finally managed to find her. By the time I found her, she was dead. The medical examiner said she bled to death. Her horse must have thrown her, and she suffered some tremendous impact. I couldn’t get ahold of Brandon for several days, as he was out roping cattle with a potential new client. He was bitterly angry and hasn’t spoken to me since—except when he has to.”

  “What a tragic story, but why wouldn’t Brandon want me to know he was married before? I certainly wouldn’t have any prejudice against it.”

  “Some people think it was rather convenient that Tina died when and how she did.”

  “What are you implying?”

  “It appeared that her reins either had been cut, or frayed to extreme wear. The police weren’t sure. Brandon was furious and fired the groom for not taking proper care of the equipment. I personally, along with many other people, think someone cut the reins. It was rumored that Tina was going to ask Brandon for a divorce.”

  “A divorce! Whatever for?” she gasped.

  “Probably for the same reason you will. She was lonely and bored and Brandon didn’t seem to care.”

  She was furious then, furious at Brandon for withholding this from her, furious at Jeffrey for telling her.

  “You shouldn’t have told me,” she spat at him. “It’s none of your business.”

  “How can you say that? I have your best interest at heart. No one knows for sure whether Brandon cut those reins.”

  “That a ridiculous notion. I’m sure Brandon has a perfectly good reason for not telling me about Tina,” she snapped. But sudden images of Brandon’s dark, jealous fury came to mind. She pushed them aside. “I want to go home now.” As she rose to leave, she swayed with dizziness.

  He threw a handful of bills on the table and stood with her. “Let me drive you home.”

  “No. I’ll take the train.”

  “It’s pouring rain and you’re distraught. You shouldn’t go alone.”

  “Then I’ll call a cab.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Why wait for a cab when I’m right here.”

  She had walked over from the office, but it hadn’t been raining at the time. Now she looked out the window and could see that it was, in fact, pouring rain. She honestly didn’t feel like taking the train, or waiting for a cab, so she relented.

  By the time they arrived at her apartment, she felt considerably better. Nonetheless, Jeffrey insisted on seeing her up.

  She gratefully handed him the keys when they got to the door. He took her coat from her and hung both their coats on the coat rack that stood beside the door.

  She threw herself on the sofa, while Jeffrey started a fire. “How about a cup of hot tea?” he asked.

  “Wonderful,” she said. She started to rise, but he insisted she lie back down. “I can get it,” he assured her. “I may be a spoiled rich boy, but I think I can make a cup of tea.”

  As she waited for the tea, she could hear Jeffrey singing in the kitchen. He sang off key. She couldn’t help but smile. Within moments, the teapot whistled and she could hear spoons clinking against cups. He stuck his head out the kitchen d
oor.

  “What will you have in it?”

  “Just honey.”

  Within seconds, he was back in the room, carrying a tray laden with tea and cookies.

  “We missed dessert, so I found these.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “You’re risking your life with those. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how long they’ve been in there.”

  He chuckled and set the tray down on the table.

  “Well, I’ve got to have something sweet this afternoon, and since you’re so stubborn—”

  “Eat up,” she said, interrupting his sentence. She cast an amused but warning glance in his direction and pointed to the cookies.

  “I’m sorry if I upset you tonight,” he said. “I just felt you should know about Brandon. If you’re going to marry him you should know everything about him.”

  She stroked the bottom of her cup, her finger tracing the outline. She looked thoughtful.

  “That should be between Brandon and me.” She watched him for a moment, sipping her tea as she did. “Can I ask you something personal?”

  “Sure, ask whatever you like. I have nothing to hide.”

  “Why do you want to spend your entire life on the move, trying to take away from your brother, instead of settling down and becoming responsible for yourself?”

  He thought about this for a moment before continuing. “I love the feel of freedom. I don’t enjoy being tied down to a routine. I love the thrills and excitement of meeting different people and experiencing different cultures. I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to be able to do this. I’m a little surprised that you should have to ask that question. You’re a photographer. Surely, you have visited exotic places, experienced different customs and cultures. Didn’t you feel the rush?”

  She laughed as she thought of the places she had been. “Well, sure, to some degree,” she finally replied. “But I’m a fashion photographer. I haven’t exactly been to exotic places. I have traveled to some countries to capture the beauty of the costumes, but there wasn’t a whole lot of excitement in that. Most of my work has been done right here in the United States.”