Wonderwall

by Soars, M. H.

He leans down to whisper something in her ear and she smiles at him. I want to rip his head off. He looks over at the jam-packed pub and puffs out his chest, like he’s preparing for battle. What a moron. Liv shakes her head and laughs. He leaves her alone and ventures in, probably going toward the bar.

  The music is loud, some kind of pop song I don’t recognize. Liv seems to like it as she begins to bob her head and up and down, in synch with the rhythm. She looks happy and I wonder if I have the right to ruin her evening. The thought is fleeting and soon forgotten. It’s too late now.

  As I get near her, the crowd begins to thin, and soon I have a vision of her entire outfit. I was right, she’s dressed as Bonnie. The short sleeved sweater and high-waist pencil skirt is a trademark of the look. There are smears of fake blood on her torso and arms. Desire erupts low in my guts. She’s the hottest looking zombie I’ve ever seen.

  “You can eat my brains if you want,” I say near her ear. She jumps and puts a hand over her sternum as she looks at me. Then her eyes narrow.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Sebastian?”

  “You know very well.”

  She crosses her arms and stiffens her back. The irritation in her eyes only makes me want her more. “Actually, I don’t. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m here with someone.”

  She pushes past me, going further into the pub. I follow her like a freaking lost puppy. When we reach the bar, we come upon a quite interesting scene. Liv’s boyfriend is wrapped up in another chick’s arms. Liv stops dead in her tracks. The blond idiot finally notices her presence and looks at her like a deer caught in headlights. The girl embracing him turns to us and smiles.

  “What’s going on here, Ryan?” Liv’s voice is hard, not hurt as I expected it to be.

  “Liv, I...” he starts, but doesn’t finish it. I can practically see his brain trying to come up with an excuse. Douche.

  “Do you work with Ryan?” the girl embracing Ryan asks.

  “No, not really. I’m sorry, who are you?”

  The petite Asian beauty glances up at Ryan with adoration in her eyes. “I see that Ryan has been talking about me.” She turns to Liv again. “I’m Penelope, Ryan’s fiancée. I just flew in from Sydney to surprise him.”

  Man, I have no words. If I wasn’t enjoying this situation so much, I might have said something. But Ryan has just made my life so much easier. I look at Liv, her posture is rigid and her eyes are nothing but slits. I think she’s on the verge of punching the guy.

  “Oh, how nice of you. I’m Liv, Ryan’s friend.” She extends her hand to the girl and they shake hands. “I can’t wait for you to meet Lloyd. I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to get to know Ryan’s fiancée.”

  I notice a sudden change in Ryan’s face, and his entire body seems to freeze. Wait. Am I missing something here? I think I actually catch a pleading emotion in his eyes.

  Liv turns on her heel and walks back the way we came. I trail after her, and once we’re outside the pub, I grab her by the elbow. “Liv, wait.”

  She jerks her arm from my grasp. “Let go of me, Sebastian.”

  “Are you mad at me? I’m not the one two timing you with his fiancée.”

  “What?” she says before she throws her head back and laughs.

  I wasn’t expecting that. I’m as confused as a Kardashian shopping at Wall-Mart.

  “Oh, that’s rich. You must have selective amnesia. Wasn’t it you who kissed me a few weeks ago when your girlfriend was in the other room?”

  Bloody hell. She has me there.

  Liv strides away, in the Hollingsworth’s direction, but I can’t let her go before I have the chance to explain. I follow her.

  “That was completely different. For fuck’s sake, Liv. Talk to me.”

  She pivots and advances toward me. When we’re a breath away from each other, she pokes my chest with her index finger. “There’s nothing to talk about, Sebastian. You were a jerk five years ago, and you’re jerk now.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say and I mean it.

  “You’re sorry? For which part? For when you fucked me and then left the country without so much as a goodbye? Or are you sorry for lying to the world saying I was your stalker? No, maybe you’re sorry for sexually harassing me at your birthday party,” she screams and now people on the street are beginning to pay attention.

  The last thing I need is for an idiot with a phone to recognize me and post a video of this fight on YouTube. The scandal would seal my fate.

  I touch Liv’s arm. “You have no idea how truly sorry I’m for all of that. I’m begging you to let me explain.”

  “Well, Sebastian. It’s too late for explanations. You had your chance. So leave me the fuck alone!”

  I let her walk away this time, knowing it’s futile to try to convince her to hear me out while she’s fuming like that. I don’t move from my spot as I watch her leave. I take in a couple of deep breaths and let the cool air fill my lungs. I need to get my nerves under control. Liv thinks she had the last word, but she’s mistaken if she believes I’m going to back down. She’ll hear me out, willing or not.

  I go back to the hotel after a couple of minutes. As I’m striding toward the elevator, I see something at the gift shop that catches my eye. A teddy bear similar to the one Liv has given me. The Terminator.

  I change course and head to the shop, buying the toy on a whim. The whole time I don’t remove my helmet, not caring about the weird look the clerk gives me. I go back to my suite, change out of my hockey uniform, order room service, and twenty minutes later I’m on my way to Liv’s room.

  Chapter 36

  Olivia

  The first thing I do when I get to my room is to throw the stupid beret into a corner and unpin my hair. The bob pins are digging into my skull and giving me a headache. I also remove the Halloween make-up. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and get scared from catching my own reflection in the mirror.

  I hear a ping from my phone and with a quick glance, I see it’s a message from Lloyd asking me where I am. Shit. The exchange with Sebastian has derailed my thoughts and I completely forgot to warn Lloyd about Ryan’s fiancée. I might have gotten closer to Ryan these past few weeks, but my loyalty still belongs to Lloyd. God, I can’t believe Ryan kept such a secret from us. It’s one thing to not be ready to come out, quite another to carry out a secret affair with Lloyd when he has a fiancée back home. There’s no excuse for that. Lloyd will be a mess when he finds out.

  I stare at my phone, not knowing what to do. I can’t possibly tell Lloyd what I saw over the phone. I have to go back to the party and find him before he finds Ryan. Ugh, I hope the idiot had enough brains to take his fiancée somewhere else. I text Lloyd back to say I’m on my way and then put my coat on again. I open the door and I almost scream when I see Sebastian standing in front of me, poised to knock.

  “Oh, hell no!” I try to shut the door, but he’s faster than me and stops my attempt by positioning his body between the door and its frame. I know it will be pointless to keep him out, so I decide to let him in and get this conversation over with.

  I move to the window, putting as much distance between us as I can. Sebastian closes the door behind him with his foot, without taking his eyes off of me. I don’t like how his intense gaze is turning my insides into mush, and making giant holes in the walls protecting my heart.

  “Don’t you ever give up?” I say.

  “When it comes to you? No.”

  “That’s a load of crap. You gave up on me, on us, five years ago when you left with your uncle without a glance back.”

  I’m glad that my anger is alive and kicking, so when I feel the sting behind my eyes, it’s easy to keep the tears at bay. I can’t let Sebastian know how much he still affects me.

  He minces my way, his untamable mahogany eyes fixed on my face. I want to break free of his
combustible stare, but he has me completely snared. If he tries to kiss me again, I don’t think I have enough strength to run away this time. My breathing becomes shallow, and my heart can’t decide if it wants to stop beating or run a marathon.

  “I made a mistake five years ago. I was stupid and young. I had just lost all I had ever known. My family, my life as I knew it was over. I was grieving, Liv. You can’t fault me for that.” His hushed answer has an intensity that nearly breaks me.

  “I know all that. That’s why I kept on writing to you. Every day. I was grieving too, Bas. I wanted you to know that you weren’t alone in your pain. I loved your parents just as much as I love my own.” My voice falters at the end and a rogue tear escapes my eye. I wipe it off quickly. “What I don’t understand is why you never contacted me again. You seemed fine moving on with your life. I deserved at least a Dear John letter.”

  “I did come back for you.”

  “What?” My heart is pounding away now.

  Sebastian puts whatever he has in his hands by the foot of my bed and rubs his face, looking everywhere but at me. “It took me three fucking years to get my shit together and to realize what I dick I had been. After Boys Future first American tour, I came by your parents’ house and Jeremy gave me your address on campus. But I was obviously too late.” Sebastian raises his gaze to mine again. “I saw you with somebody else.”

  My mouth is dry and my chest is caving in. I remember like it was yesterday when Boys Future came to the U.S. for the first time. They sang live at the freaking Rockefeller Center. Which means Sebastian could have only seen me with one person. I can’t get enough air in my lungs. Sebastian was there, mere feet away from me on the day I broke Derek’s heart. How could fate be so cruel like that? If he had shown up a few hours later…I cannot even finish that thought.

  Sebastian breaches the final distance between us and I dare to look into his eyes, trying to find in them the answers I so desperately need. But I can’t begin to decipher what his gaze is telling me. I have lost the ability to read Sebastian’s mind with a simple glance. We have lost our connection. That is the only explanation I can give myself for getting caught by surprise when Sebastian brings his lips to mine. The warm, feathery touch sends an incendiary wave though my entire body, waking up a primal desire within my soul.

  Like a house of cards, my barriers come tumbling down. I give into that kiss, unable to resist Sebastian’s pull. Suddenly, the last five years have never happened, we’re right back to where we left off. Reason takes flight, leaving my emotions free to seize control. We yank at each other’s clothes in a frenzy, barely taking the time to breathe. I feel the cool air hit my skin, but Sebastian’s body heat soon envelopes me. He pushes me against the wall and kisses my neck as his hands cover my chest. A soft moan escapes my lips and I feel Sebastian smiling against my skin. His lips trail down, scorching everywhere they touch. He tugs the fabric of my bra, freeing my breasts, before his warm tongue circles one of my nipples, while his hand plays with the other. I want to die, right here, right now. I grab his arms and use them as an anchor, because my legs can no longer support me.

  Sebastian sucks and plays for what it feels like an eternity. It’s impossible to tell time when my whole body is humming and my brain is fuzzy as hell. He abandons my breasts to continue his path downward. He kisses my belly and stops when he reaches my skirt’s waistband. I look down at him as he looks up. Our gazes collide and then, like magic, I can read him again. We have recovered our superpowers. He’s asking me if he can go on. I nod, unable to form words.

  He pulls the side zipper down, never once breaking our heated connection. The feelings I’ve tried so hard to repel break free from their prison and overwhelm me. Sebastian is here in my room, this is really happening. He tugs my skirt down excruciatingly slowly and when it pools around my ankles, I step out of it. His fingers hook on to each side of my panties and an involuntary gasp escapes my lips. He gives me a crooked smile before gliding his tongue over the sensitive skin where thigh meets pelvis, dangerously close to the throbbing between my legs that won’t quit.

  “Sebastian,” I whisper before I rest my head against the wall and close my eyes.

  “I’ve been dying to taste you since that afternoon five years ago.”

  He slides my panties down and my body begins to shake in anticipation.

  “God, you’re breathtaking.” He kisses me then, right there on my core.

  His tongue is eager and lethal. The throbbing becomes incessant. The heat intensifies, spreading through my limbs like a fire jet. I bury my fingers in his hair, tugging roughly, urging him to keep going, to never stop. With each stroke, I climb higher and higher, dying to reach the top, but wanting to prolong the journey at the same time. It happens though, I can’t fight the force propelling me upward, pushing me toward the edge. I take another step, and the ground disappears beneath my feet. But I don’t fall, I fly, I rocket through the sky as I scream Sebastian’s name.

  He bites the inside of my thigh lightly and groans. My legs are boneless and Sebastian’s arms wrapped around them are the only thing keeping me upright. After a moment, he stands up and we lock gazes. His warm eyes are dark with need, and his hunger makes something uncoil in my belly. He isn’t done with me and I’m as sure as hell not done with him. He picks me up and gently lays me down on the single bed. He pauses for a moment, and his eyes roam over my body. My breathing becomes shallow again as I drink him in. His sweater and t-shirt are long gone, and his low rise jeans emphasize the famous V that makes sensible women weak on their knees. His abs and chest are more defined than when he was just a teenager. They look like sculpted marble, and I want to lick every ridge.

  Sebastian unbuttons his jeans, and pushes them down his legs together with his boxer shorts. My eyes fixate on his erection and the urge to touch him is almost unbearable. I raise my arm, offering him my hand. He laces our fingers together before coming to bed, lying half on top of me. He kisses me again, the most sweet of kisses, like he’s worshipping my mouth. But the sweetness doesn’t last. We’ve been deprived of each for far too long. The tempo of our tongues, mingling together, increases as he rolls on top of me. I part my legs and feel him at my entrance. I squirm beneath him, trying to bring us even closer. Sebastian is shaking on top of me, and I know he’s about to lose his restrain.

  “Condom,” I manage to say.

  He leans sideways to reach for something on the floor. A second later he has a foil packet between his fingers. And like in our first time, his hands are unsteady. His nervousness makes my heart tighten. I take the packet from him and tear it with ease. I know our first time is on the forefront of his mind as well. I give him the condom and he sits on his haunches to put it on. He stops for a moment, waiting again for my signal. This time, I do manage to find my words.

  “I’m ready, Bas.”

  He releases a shaky breath before he collapses on top of me, and with a powerful push, he’s inside. And here is where the similarities end. During our first time, he was careful to the point of being cruel. He’s not holding back now and I’m glad that he isn’t. We’re making love, but it’s not gentle. It’s raw, demanding, desperate. I raise my knees and hook my feet behind his back as his tongue invades my mouth. The sound of flesh pounding against flesh mixes with our moans of pleasure in a delicious symphony of complete surrender. It doesn’t take long for the fire to spread from my core to my whole body again. I cry out when another powerful wave of pleasure hits me and a second later, Sebastian does the same. He shudders in my arms, enjoying the last tendrils of his orgasm, before his body stills and he hides his face on the crook of my neck.

  Our breathing is ragged and his heart is beating as fast as mine. We stay glued like that, in a perfect lovers’ embrace, for a few minutes with Sebastian’s fullness still filling me. Slowly but surely, the lust fog dissipates and reason returns, killing my bliss. The hard part must continue. Knowing
about Sebastian’s visit of two years ago is just the tip of the iceberg. I need more explanations, I need to know what happens to us from here onward.

  Sebastian rolls off of me and off the bed.

  “Ouch.”

  I laugh and turn on my side, leaning on my elbow. “Are you okay?”

  “God, your bed is tiny. I would fall to the floor every night if had to sleep on it.”

  “I’m used to it.”

  He removes the condom and gets up. His gaze darts left and right before he looks at me. “Where’s your bathroom?”

  “Outside.” I try to suppress a grin, but it’s impossible.

  “You have to use a communal bathroom?” He sounds appalled, making me laugh again.

  “Uh, yes.”

  “God, how barbaric.”

  “You sound like an over entitled ass. It’s not that much different than the dorm rooms on campus.”

  Sebastian frowns and a flash of something indescribable appears in his eyes.

  “Well, I never went to college. Where is your trash can?”

  The mood has definitely shifted in the room, and I feel the tension bearing me down. I get up as well and find an empty plastic bag. “Here, you can use this.”

  I put on the fleece robe that was folded over my chair and turn to him, taking the trash bag from his hand. “I’m going to clean up. I’ll be right back.”

  Sebastian is not frowning anymore when he says, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  It’s the fastest trip I ever make to the bathroom. Even though he said he’s not going anywhere, I can’t take the risk of him disappearing on me again. I need answers. When I return, I find Sebastian semi dressed, lying on my bed with his hands crossed behind his head. And when I say semi dressed, I mean he put his boxer shorts back on, and that’s it. Suddenly, I don’t know what to do or how to react. I close the door behind me and lean against it, terrified of taking a step closer to him.

  I notice the bottle of champagne and the open box of chocolate covered strawberries on my desk a second later. Next to it there is teddy bear that has an uncanny resemblance to the Terminator.