Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Running Wolf listened to his son and replied, “I see this girl is very important to you, my son. It is good she is the daughter of Mahpiya Sapa and you two can be joined. She will truly belong to you now. She will come to understand and accept the things you did to her if she loves you as I believe she does.”

  Gray Eagle did not look at his father as he spoke again. “Even if she were not Mahpiya Sapa’s daughter, I would still take her. I have wanted and desired no other woman as I do her. She is like the very air I breathe. She is a part of me and I cannot lose her ever again.”

  In time when his father had come to know and love her as a daughter, he would tell him the truth. Hopefully he would accept it. He continued, “After the ceremony tonight, I will secretly take her away. We must be alone to talk of these things. I will return to our village in a few moons. You will tell the others we have gone and not to worry.”

  “Yes, to have this time alone would be wise, my son. These things will be hard for her to hear and believe. You will have to convince her of your love. Go to her with love and kindness, my son, and she will know the truth. May the Great Spirit watch over and protect both of you in this time of healing and learning. I will await your return in our village.”

  Alisha pulled on the white joining dress and moccasins. She left her hair hanging in tresses around her shoulders and tied the white pahin iyokaska with the two queques around her forehead. She carefully checked her appearance in the mirror. She wanted him to remember her at her very best, that is, if he ever thought of her again. Yes, she was pleased with how she looked, and should have been, for she had never looked lovelier or more desirable. She went to the flap and unlaced it, but left it closed for privacy.

  Sometime later, Black Cloud and Powchutu entered and told her it was almost time for the ceremony. Powchutu couldn’t take his eyes off Alisha. Never had she looked so beautiful and fragile. Black Cloud smiled and beamed with pride.

  Powchutu explained what would take place at the joining. He would be nearby to tell her what she needed to do or say. This was a special ceremony and would be different from the one she had viewed. The joining of a chief’s son to another chief’s daughter was a rare event.

  When the kettle drums began with a low, rhythmic beat, Powchutu took her hand in his and said, “Do not worry, Alisha, it will soon be over. We must be careful how we act and we must not speak again. It would not do for anyone to guess our words or plans now. I will meet you by the falls after he is asleep. It is time and we must go. Remember, soon he can hurt you no more. Act naturally and speak to no one.”

  Why did Powchutu think it necessary to keep warning her about silence? She wasn’t a child! She understood the importance of secrecy.

  Black Cloud lifted the flap and they walked out into the coming twilight. Gray Eagle watched her slow approach as he devoured her with his eyes. She looked stunning, yet vulnerable. Many of the other braves commented on how lucky he was. How could Mato Waditaka have taken the loss of such a rare, delicate beauty? But even his eyes glinted with regret and jealousy. White or not, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He could still feel the touch of her lips. Chela had never stood a chance with Wanmdi Hota after he had seen Shalee, especially after he had taken her the first time.

  Alisha was astonished by the looks of awe and envy on the faces around her. How ironic! They think they are seeing an Indian princess, when in truth, I am their enemy! she thought. How foolish and tragic that being a wasichu makes such a deadly difference. The only two faces in the crowd to draw a dazzling smile from her belonged to Wanhinkpe Ska and Mato Waditaka. Mentally she thought, good-bye, my kodas ...

  Her eyes touched Gray Eagle’s as he stood in the center of the group. His appearance reflected pride and majesty. He looked magnificent and impressive, but also imposing and haughty. She was powerless to look away. His arrogant, confident expression and smug smile were very familiar, but not the look in those obsidian eyes.

  He could not hide the lust in his gaze for her and did not even try to. His eyes sparkled with deviltry and taunting, but also something else. His, too, revealed a fierce pride and appreciation for her beauty. That look of his caused shivers to chase up and down her spine. He had a way of unsettling her with just that particular look and he knew it.

  Gray Eagle was dressed in thick, rich buckskin breeches and moccasins. He was wearing a headband with only three of his many yellow feathers attached, and etched rawhide wristlets and armbands. He was wearing the white eagle wanapin around his neck. She quickly tore her eyes from the eagle and her mind from the meaning of it. Secured around his neck and flowing full to the ground, he wore a beautiful, colorful, feathered cape. It had no doubt been made for Mato Waditaka, but she guessed he had also won the right to wear it tonight.

  It seemed to take forever to cross the short distance between her teepee and where he stood waiting for her. Powchutu and Alisha halted before Gray Eagle. He had never looked so handsome and virile. Her treacherous body trembled with renewed longings for him. Her heart began to ache knowing she would never see him again after tonight; nor feel his hot, fiery kisses and gentle caresses; nor hear his husky, rich voice; nor be near him. It was almost as if he wished her to remember him at his finest.

  Black Cloud and Running Wolf were in the full ceremonial dress befitting chiefs. The Pezuta Wapiye Wicasta Itancan and the Token-pi-i-ceyapi Itancan came forward to begin the hinaton.

  The Shaman danced and chanted around them, invoking the protection and approval of the Great Spirit for this joining. He sang,Daughter of Mahpiya Sapa,

  Son of Suntakca Ki-in-yangki-yapi,

  Come before you, Oh Great Spirit, Wakantanka, Napi,

  And before the Oglala and Si-ha Sapa.

  Daughter of Mahpiya Sapa,

  Son of Suntakca Ki-in-yangki-yapi,

  Come to hinaton, forever to be one ...

  Come to join spirits for their Canhdeska Wakan.

  Daughter of Mahpiya Sapa,

  Son of Suntakca Ki-in-yangki-yapi,

  Forever to be one, forever to hinaton ...

  Forever see and know who watches them this hunwi.

  Wakantanka, behold, Shalee and Wanmdi Hota hinaton.

  When he finished his part in the ceremony, the ceremonial chief came forward and began his part. He chanted in a melodious voice as Gray Eagle pulled her to his chest. They faced each other. Gray Eagle kept his hold on Alisha’s upper arms to steady her trembling. She made the mistake of meeting his gaze, and now she could not break the hold he enforced on her. Her eyes never left his for the remainder of the ceremony.

  She would have flamed a bright red if she had realized the open, bold look of love and passion written on her face. Sha, Lese, ni-ye mitawa ... Your love grows with each new sun. You cannot hide these feelings from me, nor drive them from your heart.

  His look was most disarming with its expression of total fulfillment, combined with that glint of satisfaction and tenderness in his eyes. All thoughts of hate, anger and escape were temporarily forgotten. Lost in the depths of those jet eyes, she thought, he is indeed the most handsome man in the whole world. Oh Wanmdi Hota, if only I had truly been born Indian, or you white...

  He watched her eyes caress him. He was hard pressed to keep his body and emotions under rigid control standing so close to her. Her two small hands which rested on his bare chest were no longer cold, but warm and trembling.

  He released his hold on her arms and lifted the edges of the feathered cape and pulled her within its circle into his arms. As he held the cape around her, his hand caressed the nape of her neck softly. He gazed deeply into her eyes as he clearly spoke his words of hinaton.

  The warmth of his breath against her face, and the contact with his body sent her senses spinning. His touch was like fire to her skin, and she was consumed with hunger for him. She felt his being with every single nerve in her body. Desire ran free throughout her like molten lava after a violent eruption of a volcano. She was lost to the rea
lity of everything but him. He could have seduced her right then and there and she would have offered no resistance.

  She was rudely returned to reality by Powchutu’s voice and light tap on her shoulder from behind. Embarrassed and bewildered by her display of weakness for Gray Eagle and revealing his power over her, she lowered her gaze.

  Powchutu slowly told her the words to say and she began to falteringly repeat them. But as she did, Gray Eagle’s fingers went under her chin and forced her to look into his eyes while she repeated the joining words. To gaze into those black depths and not forget what to repeat to him was one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life.

  Powchutu had previously explained the full meaning of the words to her. She did not know the order of the vows, but knew she was promising to love him always and never forsake him for another, to obey him in all things, to be his helper, to bear his children, and to place him above all others, including herself. In simple terms, she pledged him her very life and heart, in life and death.

  Alisha somehow managed to finish the words and Powchutu returned to his former place and did not hear her one last vow, spoken to him in English, “I shall love you forever and I pray you will accept and forgive what I must do for both of us.”

  His hand reached up and gently touched the lips which had promised him his one dream of happiness—her love. To his surprise, she kissed his fingertips lightly. He smiled.

  He released her from his embrace under the folds of the cape and they turned to face the ceremonial chief. He held up a circular necklace with two ties and chanted prayerfully. She watched curiously as he separated the circle into two, single half-circles, placing one around her neck and the other one around his. This wanapin was to signify that apart they were only half spirits, but joined together, their spirits made the circle complete and unending.

  She lifted hers and gazed at it, then at his. She softly whispered, “How very romantic and beautiful. Forever one together and yet apart ...”

  The sudden whoops and yells alerted Alisha to the fact she was wed. She remained where she was, not knowing what else to do. Wanmdi Hota took her by the elbow and led her to a buffalo skin by the fire and seated her there. Then, the feasting and merriment began.

  She was hardly aware of the food she ate, the dancing she watched, or the chanting she heard. It was evident the joining of a chief’s son with a chief’s daughter was a joyous occasion, as Powchutu had told her. The celebration went on and on. She sat in a near daze, watching her husband most of the time. There were many lively dances done in very colorful costumes and garbs.

  She began to listen to the haunting music and watch the steps in great fascination. When it was over, she turned to find Gray Eagle gone from her side. She searched the sea of faces until she found him standing by her teepee talking with White Arrow. He glanced her way and found her watching him. He possessively captured her gaze and held it until he was back at her side.

  He pulled her to her feet and began to lead her to her teepee. Black Cloud jokingly commented that he himself would sleep elsewhere tonight. At the entrance to the teepee, Powchutu stopped them and handed them a cup of fruit juice. He said it was the custom of the wasichu to drink a toast to each other on their joining night.

  They both took the cups offered and touched them lightly together as Powchutu had instructed him, but she could not meet his gaze. White Arrow approached and pointed to a beautiful, mottled horse which was being given to Alisha as a gift.

  She stared at it and smiled. “Thank him for me, Powchutu. Good-bye, my koda.” She kissed him on the cheek and embraced him tightly. “I shall never forget you and your kindness.” Powchutu told her to drink the toast and seal the joining. She did so as Powchutu watched Gray Eagle’s cup leaving his lips. As they handed the two cups back to Powchutu, a secret look passed between him and Alisha. Neither had noticed the cup Gray Eagle had lifted to his lips was empty ...

  Gray Eagle took her hand and led her inside. He turned and laced the flap tightly. He moved to a side brace pole and began to undress. She remained glued to the spot where she was standing. She realized she had forgotten to ask Powchutu how long it would take for the potion to work. Until it did, she would have to go along with any intentions he had to avoid suspicion. She felt like a trapped animal.

  He removed the cape, breeches and headdress and hung them on a peg. He then removed his moccasins and sat them at the base of the pole. He walked over to the mat dressed only in his breechcloth which all too clearly revealed his intentions! Her eyes darted about in panic and her face reddened.

  Gray Eagle lay down and called for Alisha to come to him. She laughed at herself for feeling like a silly virgin on her wedding night. They had made love many times before, but somehow this time seemed different ... they had just been wed!

  She slowly turned as red as a beet from her chest up, partly due to embarrassment and partly to rising passions. He called to her again and she slowly came to him and knelt before him. He saw the fear and uncertainty toward what he would do to her and how he would treat her knowing what they both did about the akito and this sham.

  She quietly spoke, “Why did you really marry me tonight, Wanmdi Hota? If I didn’t know any better, I would swear you do not hate me and that you do want me. I wonder what tonight would be like if I had truly been born Indian or you white. This parting would be so very easy if I had not been foolish enough to fall in love with you. What will you do tomorrow when you find me gone? Will you allow me to go in peace, or will you track me down and kill me? All I said tonight was the truth, except not to forsake you, for I must. If I thought for the slightest minute I could change your heart about me, I would never leave you ...”

  His lids drooped slightly, then came back to full alert. She noted the action. He pulled her down on top of him, then rolled her to her back on the other side of him. He lay half on her body, allowing for almost no movement from her. His hand brushed some strands of hair from her face and stroked it tenderly. He unlaced the ties at her throat and pushed the neckline of her dress open. He shifted to hold her face between his two hands and brought his mouth down on hers in a demanding, hungry kiss.

  He spread kisses over her mouth, first taking it lightly, then passionately. His lips roamed her eyes, ears, face and throat, leaving a trail of searing fire behind. His hands moved along her shoulders and arms, caressing her soft skin lightly. Soon, his kisses deepened in desire and increased in passion. His mouth hungrily claimed hers time and time again.

  Alisha desperately fought the flames which threatened to engulf and consume her. His hands at her breasts were teasing and tantalizing her right through her dress. She could feel them swell and harden with desire.

  His hand slid down her stomach, causing ripples throughout her entire body. His deft hands slowly pushed her dress up to her waist, and in a few moves had it over her head and arms and lying on the ground beside him.

  Unhindered by her dress now, his hands freely roamed her tense body at will, touching here and caressing there. She pleaded with him to stop this wild assault on her senses, but he just covered her mouth with his in another fiery kiss. His hand fondled her breast, kneading the nipple lightly, then made its way down her stomach to her breechcloth. He easily untied it and removed it with one hand and began to touch and caress her there. She inhaled sharply at this new sensation of delightful torment. She arched her body in desire and moaned against Gray Eagle.

  Alisha was imprisoned beneath his body and strength. He touched and caressed her in ways he had never done before. Her mind was intoxicated by his kiss and his touch. She burned with longing. She clung to him frantically and wildly. She began to respond heatedly to the exquisite delights which filled her. She was breathless and quivering from the scintillating pleasures he was bringing to her.

  She returned every kiss with fierce abandonment. He was awakening emotions and hungers which had lain asleep for days, and new hungers she had never felt before. She begged for more and more
from him with her hands and her lips. Her responses spoke loud and clear to him, and he smiled in satisfaction.

  He cut a blazing trail of kisses down her neck to her breasts. His lips teased and kissed each one until she begged for him to come to her quickly and end this terrible hunger and craving deep within her. Her mind urged for the total union of their bodies and desires. Her body cried out for release and fulfillment. She felt she must have him this one last time.

  She moaned and thrashed upon the mat, begging and pleading, “Love me, Wanmdi Hota, one last time ... take me now ... love me like there will be no parting ... I need you ... don’t push me away from you tonight ... I want you ... please ...”

  Gray Eagle abruptly collapsed limply across her body. Dazed for a minute with the sudden stopping of his touch and kiss, she queried, “Wanmdi Hota?”

  Nothing ...

  She shook him and called to him again, thinking he was only teasing or torturing her again, “Wanmdi Hota?”

  Nothing ...

  The truth dawned on her. “No-o-o ...” She moaned and cried in anguish. “Not now ... not again. I cannot bear it!” But this time, the rejection was of her own doing.

  The fires and yearnings raged within her blood and body. She panted breathlessly and cried in agony and frustration. She actually felt pain in her womanhood and breasts. She writhed in unrequited passion. Her body ached for his kiss, touch, and union. She felt as if every nerve in her body and mind would snap with tautness and tension. This agony of being so sexually excited and driven to the point of no return, then thwarted and frustrated was almost too great to bear. She did not possess the knowledge to control or subdue what she was experiencing.