Wish List (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 2)

by Helen Harper

  ‘Comments like that from the Devil’s Advocate are not helpful.’ I grimaced. ‘And as I keep trying to remind everyone, we’re supposed to be cutting down on stress, not adding to it.’ Someone should tell the trolls that too.

  Billy raised an eyebrow. ‘I can put you down for more meditation if you’re feeling the pressure.’

  I gave him a sideways glare. ‘Don’t you dare.’

  ‘Does this mean you’re not about to invite me onto the task force?’

  ‘Do you want to be on the task force?’

  He pursed his lips. ‘I could do with a little excitement beyond systems checking. Besides, I don’t think the Devil’s Advocate is too impressed with my encyclopaedic knowledge of faery rule-breaking. It’s quite possible that the Director will take this opportunity to rid herself of me. She’ll blame the audit instead of the fact that I know about the secret vodka stash in her left-hand drawer.’

  I stared at him. He laughed as if he were joking but I wasn’t sure that he was. ‘I’ve not made my mind up yet about who will be on the task force,’ I said for the millionth time. ‘I’ll let you know tomorrow.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He cocked his head. ‘I’m good at sensing magic, you know. I’m more sensitive to it than most other faeries. If you’d not spotted that magical hole in the front door then I would have.’ Billy wasn’t boasting, he was merely stating a fact.

  I nodded approvingly. False modesty wasn’t helpful to me in the slightest. ‘In the meantime,’ I said, ‘is there anywhere round here I can get some work done without being interrupted again?’

  ‘You could try the old library. It’s almost never used these days. If anyone asks where you are, I’ll tell them you’ve gone out again.’

  ‘I’d appreciate that.’

  Billy chucked my arm. ‘I’m on your side. I have the potential to be an excellent troll hunter.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah.’ I sighed. I’d have to make a decision as quickly as possible. I couldn’t cope with much more of this.

  ***

  Putting my very real worries about the trolls to one side, I allowed myself thirty minutes to continue researching Rose. Even if her ultimate wish was to get the shady blokes who were trying to kill her off her back, I’d have to know more to ensure the wish was successful. That sort of scenario might involve a lot of people and it could have a lot of blowback. It was considerably more complicated than sending someone off to a ball with a pretty dress and daft shoes. Cinderella’s faery godmother didn’t know how easy she’d had it.

  I continued to come up short, finding out little about Rose other than the fact that she’d spent more than thirty years working for the postal service. In the end I gave up. All I’d achieved was confirmation that I’d have to persuade her to tell me about the assassins. How I’d manage that, I had no idea. It was a measure of how discombobulated I was that tracking down a group of trolls who’d kept themselves hidden for the last few decades seemed easier.

  I was scratching out various unworkable ideas onto the sheet of paper in front of me when I heard the library door open. Without turning my head, I called out, ‘If you’re here to ask if you can join the task force, you’ll have to prove yourself first by getting me something to eat.’

  There was a beat of silence then Jasper’s familiar voice filled the air. ‘It’s just as well I came prepared. Although I’m not here to join the task force. I’ll be satisfied as long as you keep me appraised of your findings and involve me when the trolls are located. They are clearly growing bolder. We have to remain on our toes.’

  I spun round, almost falling off my chair in the process. ‘What are you doing here?’ I demanded, as if he were an intruder who’d wandered in from the street.

  I looked him up and down. He appeared as fresh and well turned out as he had that morning, his depressing black suit complementing his darker hair in a massively irritating manner. And that was nothing compared to the way his tie remained in a perfect Windsor knot. Then I realised he was holding a carrier bag from which emanated the most delicious smells of cardamom, cumin and curry. He really had come prepared.

  Noting my hungry gaze, a faint smile crossed his face. ‘I thought you might need some sustenance. And it’s felt like things have been strained between us today.’

  I bit my lip. That was my fault – he’d done nothing wrong. I was the one who wanted more than his friendship and I couldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t feel the same way. ‘The audit is proving more stressful than I’d expected.’

  He kept his eyes on mine. ‘You seem to be having some trouble with the HR department as well.’

  I shrugged awkwardly. ‘Angela and I got off on the wrong foot from the beginning. We’ll work things out.’

  ‘I’m sure you will.’ He cast a glance up and down my body. ‘You look nice today.’

  I laughed slightly. ‘If that’s intended to be a compliment, you’re going to have to try quite a bit harder.’

  He eyed me. ‘I don’t want to overstep the boundaries of our friendship.’

  ‘In that case,’ I told him, ‘you look nice too.’

  He seemed to relax. ‘I like your hair that way. Wild and untamed. It suits you.’

  Uh… ‘I’m not convinced that is a compliment but thank you. Your hair is,’ I searched for the right word that wouldn’t give away how desperately I’d like to run my hands through his dark mane, ‘neat.’

  Jasper raised an eyebrow. ‘Neat?’

  ‘Tidy.’ Fuck a puck but this was awkward. ‘And your suit is very … black.’

  He took a step towards me. ‘Hmmm. Your compliments could also do with some work.’

  Alright then. If this was the way we were going to play things, challenge accepted. ‘It moulds to your body very well. The colour matches your hair and makes your eyes pop. Right now, they’re so green that they remind me of weeds.’

  His mouth twitched. ‘Strong weeds?’

  ‘The strongest.’

  He allowed himself a real smile and bowed. ‘Thank you.’

  I smiled back. ‘You’re welcome.’

  We both remained where we were, gazing at each other. The air in the library hadn’t seemed hot and stifling when I’d come in, but now it felt like I should open all the windows to try and get a cool breeze to soothe my clammy skin.

  Jasper coughed and for one odd moment I was convinced that this where we would both throw caution to the wind and shag on top of the nearest desk. Unconsciously, I crossed my fingers before realising what I was doing.

  Jasper broke the spell by looking away. ‘I think you were right. It would never work romantically between us. We’re both too focused on our careers and I doubt we would actually be compatible – beyond the obvious. Ripping off each other’s clothes, exploring each other’s bodies, feeling your soft skin and the thrum of your heartbeat as I…’

  He shook his head while my mouth dropped open and goose bumps rose up across my skin. ‘We’d get the initial lust out of our systems and then we’d be left with nothing but awkwardness and confusion. Ignoring the sexual tension between us is a far better idea. After all,’ he said without a trace of antagonism, ‘you’ve already suggested that you find me high-handed and arrogant. We should work instead on maintaining a professional yet cordial relationship in this office and being friends outside of it. There’s no point in over-complicating matters.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Unless you wish to discuss the matter further. I would like to give you that opportunity.’

  ‘I…’ Fuck a puck.

  I squirmed. There was nothing I could say – there was no longer any discussion to be had. In little more than a few sentences, Jasper had made my heart race and taken the high ground all at the same time.

  I reminded myself that my teenage years were far behind me and I had no excuse for acting like I was still in high school. Focus, Saffron. I tugged at my hair and looked away. ‘No discussion is necessary. You’re right,’ I told him. ‘Any lust I felt for you has already died a quick death. Besi
des, I’ve still got a lot to learn and I should be focusing on my job like you are.’ I swallowed. ‘There’s too much on the line for all of us. I can do professional. I am professional. I have a five-year plan to become the best damn faery godmother in the world. Romance doesn’t figure in it.’

  Jasper’s response was brisk. ‘Good. I’m glad we can agree on something.’ He held up the bag. ‘Now, you have to eat. Skipping lunch is a terrible idea. When I’m hungry I get grouchy, and I suspect you’re the same. I don’t know everything but I do know the best faery godmother in the world should never be grouchy.’

  I grimaced. I had overplayed myself in the meeting and had indeed been grouchy. Despite Angela’s antagonism towards me, I had to do more to move her to my side. I’d do better, I vowed.

  ‘Bringing me food is thoughtful,’ I mumbled.

  ‘I might be the Devil’s Advocate, Saffron,’ Jasper said, ‘but I’m also a nice guy.’

  I glanced up, catching an odd glitter to his green-eyed gaze. He masked it quickly. ‘On occasion.’

  I fidgeted. ‘In that case,’ I said, ‘can I make a gentle suggestion?’

  He stilled. ‘Go on.’

  I spoke cautiously. ‘Part of the reason that Bernard and the other trolls were so successful with their kidnapping plot was because some faery godmothers were stressed enough to be lured out on the promise of drugs that would make them feel better. I know that the audit will add to everyone’s stress, regardless of how you conduct it, but I think there are ways you can mitigate the pressure. Telling everyone that they won’t lose their jobs if they work super-hard isn’t one of those ways. They already work hard.’

  Jasper’s brow creased into a frown. ‘I said that to put their minds at ease.’

  ‘Well,’ I demurred, ‘it had the opposite effect. It’s only been one day and already we’re running ourselves into the ground. Check the time sheets if you don’t believe me.’ I tried to soften my voice. ‘I know the audit is important, and I know the results may well be devastating, but if you could lay off the pressure slightly I think it will help everyone. A happy workforce is a productive workforce.’

  He glanced at me. ‘I’m sure I read that very same phrase on a motivational poster in the men’s bathroom.’

  I winced. ‘I’m not trying to be cheesy or to spout meaningless jargon.’

  Jasper nodded. ‘I get it. I’ll take your constructive criticism on board. Thank you for your honesty.’ He closed the distance between us before passing me the bag of food. Our fingers briefly connected and I felt a shock of electricity. I stared at him but his expression was shuttered. ‘There,’ he said. ‘I’ll leave you to eat in peace and continue your work.’

  ‘You’re not going to eat with me?’

  ‘I have my own work to be getting on with.’ He paused. ‘Unless you need some help?’

  I shook my head. ‘No, I’m okay.’ I licked my lips. ‘I might need to run a few ideas by you later, though.’

  His mouth curved. ‘Adeline has set me up in one of the spare offices downstairs. Drop by whenever you need to.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Then, because I didn’t know what else to do, I dropped my nose into the bag and inhaled the heady scent of madras. When I looked up again, Jasper had gone.

  Somewhat belatedly, it occurred to me that the only person around here who allowed me to get in the last word was Jasper – and he was the person with the least to prove. But curry or no curry, I’d well and truly blown my chances with him. I just wished that I could believe it was for the best.

  Chapter Eight

  It turned out that I wasn’t the only person who could learn from their mistakes. When I shook off my umbrella and walked into the lobby the next morning, Mrs Jardine flashed me a genuine, wide-mouthed smile.

  ‘Good morning, Saffron. How are you today?’

  Taken aback, I gave her a suspicious look. ‘Who are you?’ I asked. ‘And what have you done with Mrs Jardine?’

  She continued to smile. ‘You always maintain an excellent sense of humour. Isn’t it a wonderful day today?’

  I frowned. I hadn’t been imagining the driving rain, had I? I glanced back, registering the streaks against the window. To be absolutely sure, I patted myself down and the palms of my hands became moist from the wet splatters the umbrella hadn’t protected me from. Maybe this Mrs Jardine was a troll. Maybe they could perform glamour magic with the same dexterity as Jasper and one of them was now posing as the Office for Faery Godmothers’ receptionist. I decided to test my theory.

  ‘It’s great, Miranda,’ I said, daring to use her first name. ‘Simply gorgeous.’

  Her smile didn’t falter. I started to back up. This definitely wasn’t the irascible Mrs Jardine; she must be a troll in a receptionist’s clothing. This what the magical attack yesterday had been about – replacing our Mrs Jardine with an imposter.

  ‘A bit of rain is fabulous for the plants,’ she burbled. ‘The farmers and the ducks will be incredibly happy. Not to mention the marsh faeries.’

  I reached into my pocket and drew out my wand, thrusting it towards her with the pointy end. ‘Who are you really?’

  The front door opened behind me and I heard the clickety-clack of heels.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ Alicia asked. Figgy, who was right beside her, giggled nervously.

  ‘Judge for yourself,’ I muttered.

  Mrs Jardine continued to smile happily. Alicia’s forehead creased into a tiny frown. ‘What have you done?’ she asked me in an undertone. ‘Why does Miranda look so strange?’

  Figgy retreated a few steps and wrapped her arms around herself. ‘I don’t like it,’ she whispered.

  Mrs Jardine tutted. ‘Surely you can’t think that something is wrong just because I’m in a good mood?’

  We exchanged glances. ‘When was the last time you were in this good a mood?’ I asked.

  ‘I’m always in a good mood!’ she protested. ‘Although I have to admit that the latest message from HR has helped.’

  ‘What message is that?’ I asked, still distracted by her bright smile.

  ‘Rainbow Friday!’ she beamed. ‘Every Friday we’re going to dress in a different colour. This week is red. It will be amazing. Angela came up with it. I think it’s a fabulous way to bring us all together. That woman is a genius.’

  Suddenly Alicia looked interested. ‘I do have a wonderful new red dress that’s desperate for an outing. Well done, Angela,’ she murmured.

  Figgy dropped her arms. ‘What a great idea! She’s so clever. This will be enormous fun.’

  I glowered.

  Mrs Jardine beckoned us forward. ‘That’s not all. It gets even better! Come and have a look at this.’

  I raised my wand an inch higher. Rainbow Friday or not, the receptionist was still acting very oddly. I wasn’t the only one who thought so; Alicia stayed where she was, her feet firmly planted on the spot.

  Figgy did as she was told, however, taking reluctant steps up to Mrs Jardine’s desk. She peered down, letting out an audible gasp when she saw what Mrs Jardine was pointing at. ‘Is that…?’

  The receptionist nodded brightly. ‘It’s a scrap of indigo. The Devil’s Advocate told me it was from Hawaii.’ There was pride in her gaze. ‘That’s the Rainbow State, you know.’

  Alicia and I looked at each other then we edged up to the desk. There, encapsulated in a small glass globe, was a swirl of deepest indigo. Huh.

  ‘It takes great skill to capture even the tiniest fragment of a rainbow,’ Mrs Jardine informed us. ‘This is very rare.’

  I stared at it before glancing at her shining face. ‘What else did the Devil’s Advocate say?’

  ‘That I do a fantastic job as gatekeeper for the godmothers.’ She sighed and cupped her face in her hands. ‘When you get past his intimidating nature, he’s really quite good looking, isn’t he?’

  I coughed. ‘If you like that sort of thing.’

  Alicia shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say no. All that throbbing power
…’

  ‘We should get upstairs,’ I broke in hastily. ‘We can’t stand around here chewing the fat all morning.’

  My occasional nemesis nudged me. ‘You should probably put your wand down first.’

  I realised I was still brandishing it in front of me and quickly dropped my hand before returning the wand to my pocket. I still felt suspicious. Hopefully, normal service would return shortly. Cheery smiles were one thing, but there was a lot to be said for the comfort of predictability.

  When we finally made it to the office floor, it was clear that Mrs Jardine’s mood wasn’t the only anomaly. Adeline tripped by, humming to herself. She paused to inform us chirpily that the morning briefing was starting early and she made no mention of anything involving time-keeping.

  I swivelled round slowly, sweeping my gaze across my co-workers. There was the buzz of pleasant chatter from every corner. In fact, the atmosphere across the vast room was considerably lighter than it had been the day before.

  I barely had time to drop my bag at my desk. Delilah, who was already getting to her feet, raised a hand in greeting. ‘The Devil’s Advocate got some last night,’ she informed me.

  Uh… ‘Pardon?’

  ‘It’s the only explanation,’ she said, without offering any sort of explanation herself.

  We gathered in the centre of the room. The Director strode up to the front, a clipboard in hand. ‘Good morning all. I have been in a meeting this morning with the Devil’s Advocate and he has raised some concerns regarding the audit and our attitude towards it. As of tomorrow, no one will be allowed to enter this office before eight o’clock. There is no need to for anyone to arrive before that. While overtime might sometimes be necessary, it will be the exception rather than the norm. We do our clients a massive disservice if we are too exhausted to do our jobs properly. Part of the inspection will assess morale and team spirit. We should act appropriately and be happy.’

  ‘Whether we are or not,’ I heard Billy whisper next to my ear.

  ‘Angela in HR is already three steps ahead of the rest of us. She has come up with the wonderful idea of Rainbow Fridays, about which you all will have received an email. We can all learn from her sort of clever initiative.’