The Winning Side

by C. M. Doporto

  “Not that you’d know of her, but she’s an alumna from five years back who’s self-publishing young adult books. I did a sample edit for her and she hired me to edit her next three books!” I jumped up and down. “Can you believe it?”

  “That’s great!”

  A pain hit my side and I stopped. “Oww.” I limped to the couch and sat down.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I took a drink of my water. “A weird pain, that’s all. Anyhow, I can’t believe it.” I propped my feet up on a box. “Now I’ll have plenty of money to save for a car. But not only that, my loan was approved.” I picked up one of the envelopes from the coffee table and waved it at her.

  “Sweet.”

  When I told Dad my plans, he was excited for me and offered to pay my tuition, but I refused. I had to do this on my own. The best thing was we’d been keeping in touch weekly, ever since the breakup. I guess he was worried about me. Without fail, he continued to urge me to call my mom, but the last thing I wanted was to hear her nagging voice, especially after everything that happened. And I definitely didn’t want her to try to hook me back up with Collin. Those days were over.

  “I know.” I smiled.

  “Then that means one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We’re going shopping!” Delaney scrambled to slip on her flip-flops.

  “Shopping?” I yawned as the sudden urge to take a nap settled over me. “I don’t know, Laney. I’m not up for shopping today. I think I want to catch up on my sleep.”

  “What? Are you crazy?” She reached in her back pocket. “My dad gave me a budget to go shopping for stuff for the apartment.”

  “That’s great. We can go tomorrow or something.” I yawned.

  “What?” She grabbed her keys and dangled them in the air. “We only have a few days to get out of here and I already got the key to the apartment.”

  “But we have plenty of time.” I unbuttoned my jean shorts, wondering what the heck I ate to make me so bloated.

  “Please, Lex. I’m eager to get some new things. Besides, we need furniture.”

  “Oh, yeah, forgot about that.” I lowered my feet to the ground. On a tight budget, my only option was to ask my dad if I could use my bed and dresser from the house.

  “Come on.” She waved the card in front of me. “I’ll get you a new comforter for your room with matching curtains, pillows... whatever you want.”

  “You mean your dad will.” I pushed her hand away. “And that’s not right. I’ll just use what I have until I can save up for a new one.”

  “You’re so boring.”

  “Whatever,” I laughed. “It’s called being practical and living within your means.”

  “Yeah, those words aren’t in my vocabulary.” She snickered and pulled me off the couch.

  Delaney managed to talk me into going shopping and our first stop was a furniture store. We perused the rows of sofas and sectionals, along with dining tables. It didn’t take long to find something we both liked. If it weren’t for Delaney’s parents, we wouldn’t have any furniture. We really were fortunate.

  Delaney paid for the furniture and scheduled a delivery for the next day.

  “Let’s go to Target.” She smiled as she pulled onto the road.

  “I’m too tired.” I rubbed my back and adjusted the seat belt. Sitting in the library for the past few days had really done a number on my muscles. I needed to get to the gym and stretch, or get in a good workout with Luke. Thinking of it made me cringe. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep for a few days.

  “Seriously? You sound like an old woman. What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing. I’m just tired from finals.”

  “That was two days ago.”

  “So. I need my beauty sleep.” I propped my elbow against the ledge of the window and rested my head in my hand, closing my eyes. My stomach let out a loud rumble and I opened my eyes. I had eaten lunch, why was I already hungry?

  “Was that your stomach?”

  “Yes, I’m starving. Can we please get something to eat?”

  “I guess, do you want to—”

  “There’s a Pizza Hut inside of Target.” I sat up, my mouth salivating. “Oh, and I’m dying for some of their popcorn and an Icee.”

  “Oh. My. God. Are you serious?” Delaney cast me a dumbfounded stare. “Since when does rabbit-food eating girl want junk like that?”

  “I don’t know. Just sounds good.” I resumed my resting position and closed my eyes, catching a ten minute nap.

  Within ten minutes, I devoured a personal pan pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni. It was as if I hadn’t eaten in days. After that, I got a large bag of popcorn and a cherry Icee.

  “I can’t believe you’re eating all of that.” Delaney’s face twisted in disgust when I shoved a handful of popcorn into my mouth.

  “You want some?” I mumbled, dropping a few pieces on the floor.

  “No thanks. I’m working out with Luke later. I’ll be puking if I eat all of that. You should come with us.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I pointed to a blender on the shelf. “Hey, was this the one you saw on that infomercial the other night?”

  “Yeah, how much is it?”

  “Shit. Ninety-nine dollars.” I started to push the basket down the aisle when she stopped me.

  “I need it. Luke wants me to start drinking these workout shakes.”

  “Whatever,” I belted out in laughter. “You want it so he has something to make his shakes with when he spends the night. Admit it.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She grabbed the box from the shelf and set it in the buggy. We picked out everything we needed for the apartment and, against my wishes, I chose a new comforter set with matching curtains and shaggy toss pillows. It would look fab in our new place.

  “Oh crap, I forgot something.” Delaney turned the buggy around and I followed her, pushing another buggy.

  “Holy crap. This thing is heavy. We’ve probably got over a thousand dollars’ worth of stuff.”

  “I know. Don’t remind me.” She raced toward the beauty and health section of the store.

  “What budget did your parents give you?” I stopped, feeling winded. That pizza and junk food had done a number on me.

  “Umm.” She shuffled through the boxes of tampons and that was when it hit me.

  My period. When was the last time I had my period?

  I closed my eyes, trying to remember. March, April… I scanned my memory. I couldn’t remember. It was the fifteen of May and typically, I had my period the first week of every month. It should have come already.

  Shit.

  I grabbed my phone and quickly went to the calendar. I scrolled through April and nothing. I scrolled through March and sighed when I saw the fifth marked. I had only missed April and May.

  No!

  Was I pregnant? Not possible. I had an IUD. Besides, the doctor had warned me that my periods might stop. I was fine. There was no way I was pregnant.

  “Come on, let’s go.” She took off down the aisle and I stopped as we passed the pregnancy tests.

  “Hold on.” I motioned for her to wait.

  “What?” She turned around and followed my line of sight. Stepping close to me, she said, “Why are you looking at PTs?”

  I covered my face and started to cry, the emotions pouring out of me like a baby. It was like I already knew the answer before taking the test. Something in the center of me stirred and it wasn’t my intuition — it was something else.

  “Lexi?” Delaney shook me. “Why are you crying?”

  “I…” I heaved a big sigh and then used the napkin from my Icee to blow my nose. “I’m late.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “How late?”

  “April late.”

  “Fu—Okay. Um. Shit.” She ran her fingers through her hair.

  The room began to tilt and I broke out in a cold sweat. If I was pregnant, Raven was definitely the father. “O
h God, I feel sick.” The pizza, popcorn, and cherry Icee were threatening to make an appearance all over the floor at Target. I darted toward the bathroom near the pharmacy and made it just in time.

  Ten minutes later, I dragged myself over to where Lexi was waiting for me, sitting on a bench outside the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

  “Not really.” I wiped my forehead with a wet paper towel. “And I don’t think it’s a stomach bug.”

  “Here, sit down.” She got up and helped me to the bench. “Do you need some water?”

  “Yeah.”

  She bent down, took a water bottle from the case we were going to buy, and handed it to me. Normally, I would have protested, but I didn’t give a shit. I felt like crap. I took a few sips and let my head hit the wall.

  She slid next to me. “I thought you had an IUD.”

  “I do.”

  “Damn. Hopefully you’re not, but I think you should take a test just to be sure.”

  I lifted my head. “I think you’re right.”

  After a few minutes, I felt well enough to walk, so we checked out. She got the car while I waited with the buggies. I was thankful for the cool breeze since I was sweaty and clammy all over.

  She pulled up to the curb and we loaded up the car. “I think we should go to the apartment. It’s closer than the dorm and we need to take this stuff there anyway.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.” I closed my eyes, praying what I already knew wasn’t true.

  We left everything in the car, except for the toilet paper and pregnancy tests. “Why did you buy so many?” I fumbled with the three different brands, stuffing them in a bag.

  “Just to make sure. You never know.” She opened the door and I headed straight for the bathroom with Delaney in tow.

  “All you have to do is hold the stick in your urine stream for like five seconds.”

  I turned around. “How do you know?”

  Her eyes widened. “Just trust me, I know. And you’ll need this.” She handed me the empty Icee cup. “Just rinse it out and pee in it, otherwise you’re going to have to pee like three times.”

  “Oh, yeah, good thinking.” Obviously, this wasn’t Delaney’s first rodeo.

  With shaky hands, I struggled to unwrap the plastic from the first box. “Here, I can’t do it.”

  I grabbed another box and managed to open it. The instructions were a mile long. “What the hell?”

  “I know, like you want to read all that shit.” Delaney rolled her eyes and tore open the package with her teeth.

  Scanning the change-my-life-forever booklet, I found the instructions quickly. “Okay, you’re right. Hold the stick for five seconds in your urine stream and then place the cover on the tip. Results in three minutes.” It sounded easy enough.

  I quickly unzipped my shorts and sat on the toilet.

  “Wait. The cup.” Delaney quickly rinsed it with water before handing it to me.

  With her back turned, I stuck the cup between my legs and peed, filling it halfway.

  “Is this enough.” I carefully set the cup on the counter and then tore open the package of toilet paper.

  “Um, yeah, that’s plenty.” She scrunched her nose and then picked up one of the sticks.

  “Sorry, I can do it, if you want.” I flushed and then pulled up my pants.

  She shook her head. “It’s just pee. Not vomit.”

  “Oh, please don’t mention that word right now.” My stomach tensed just thinking about the bathroom at Target. I felt sorry for the next person who used it.

  “Sorry.” She gave me a heartfelt smile.

  I washed my hands and watched with an unnerving patience as she dipped three different sticks into the cup of urine. She handed them to me and I replaced the caps on all of them, lining them up side by side.

  “That’s it.” She washed her hands and then dried them on her shorts. “Now, we wait.”

  I set the timer on my phone and sighed. “I need to sit down.” Walking into the hall, I slid to the floor.

  She sat next to me and I leaned my head against her shoulder. “I like the apartment.”

  “Yeah, I do, too.” She laced her arm through mine. “It’s going to be great.” It was clear that all the excitement was gone. If I were pregnant, she wouldn’t want me living with her. A crying baby, dirty diapers, and empty bottles all over the place — yeah, didn’t sound so fun.

  “What time are they delivering the furniture?”

  “Around three.” She tapped her feet together, wiggling her toes. “Man, I need a pedi.”

  “Yeah, me, too. I noted my chipped nail polish. “Since they’re coming at three, that gives us time to move our stuff.” I glanced at my phone — two minutes, fifteen seconds.

  “Yeah, it does.”

  “I really like the colors we picked out. It’s going to look great.” Whatever came to mind, I said. Anything to keep my mind off the clock counting down to predict my fate.

  “I’ve always wanted to decorate in brown and turquoise,” Delaney said with little oomph in her voice.

  “Those are really great colors.”

  The buzzer sounded and we both jumped. I turned the alarm off and Delaney stood up. Extending her hand, she pulled me to my feet. “It’s now or never.” I nodded and took a deep breath. My knees wobbled as I walked back into the bathroom. This time, it seemed ten times smaller as the walls narrowed around me.

  Slowly, I leaned over the counter, looking at the three sticks with Delaney peering over my shoulder. All three tests showed small crosses.

  “Oh no.” Delaney covered her mouth.

  “Where are the instructions.” I tossed the Target sack behind me and grabbed one of the inserts.

  Reading through it frantically, I found the results section. “Cross means positive, dash means negative.” I read it again and looked at the sticks. “No. No.” I fumbled through the mess on the counter and reached for another instruction booklet. “Plus means positive, minus means negative.” I shook my head.

  “They’re all positive, Lexi,” Delaney said in a hushed voice.

  “But I have an IUD. It’s not possible.” My hands fell to my side as the instructions slipped to the floor. I didn’t feel so strong any more. In fact, I felt completely weak and vulnerable. This was horrible. What the hell was I going to do? I had just been accepted into grad school and got an apartment with Delaney.

  “Come on. Let’s go back to the dorm.” She wrapped an arm around me. “We’ll figure everything out. No need to panic.”

  “Wait. What time is it?” I grabbed her wrist, looking at her watch. “It’s three-thirty. They’re still open. Let’s go.” I grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the bathroom.

  “What? Who’s open? Where are we going?” Delaney stumbled behind me.

  “The health center. I want them to test me.”

  “But the results are going to be the same.”

  “You never know.” I opened the front door. “Let’s go.”

  Delaney drove us back to the university and straight to the health center. Neither of us said anything, aside from my occasional, “Hurry!” I think we were both in shock. On the way there, I checked the PHU website and verified the hours. I knew that student services were open until Tuesday and since I was still technically a student, they had to see me. We found a nearby parking spot and entered the facility.

  I approached the window, thankful there wasn’t a line. “I need to see a doctor or nurse practitioner,” I told the girl behind the counter.

  “Do you have an appointment?” She glanced at her computer.

  “No, but it’s an emergency.” Confirming a pregnancy was an emergency, right? At least, from my viewpoint it was — screw them if they didn’t agree.

  “Okay. Just scan your student ID at the kiosk to your right and complete the questionnaire. It will let you know your wait time. We’ll call you when a room is available.”

  “Thanks.” I removed my student ID and scanned it as she’d instructed.
I scrolled through the options and stalled when it asked for the reason. STD Testing, AIDS Testing, Birth Control, Pregnancy Testing. The list was damaging to the ego. I selected Pregnancy Testing and sat down next to Delaney. By four thirty, I had peed in a cup and was in a room, waiting to be seen.

  “What the hell am I going to do if I’m pregnant?” I asked Delaney, feeling the perspiration form on my forehead. My stomach felt like an ocean, crashing with waves, making me dizzy to the point of severe nausea, but I wasn’t sure I had anything left to throw up.

  “Hmm, I think you know your options,” Delaney said with a tight lip. She knew I didn’t want to hear the truth.

  I always felt that women should have a choice when it came to their bodies. Abortion for the right reasons seemed logical. Except when you’re faced with making that decision. “Oh God, how the hell did I end up in this mess?” I covered my face with my hands, praying I could move the hands of time.

  “It’s called sex.”

  I removed my hands and bit out the words, “I know that, Delaney.”

  The door opened and we both plastered on fake smiles.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Sheri Adams.” She extended her hand and I shook it.

  “Hi, I’m Lexi and this is my friend, Delaney.”

  “Hello, ladies.” She glanced at her tablet, as though referencing who had the appointment. “So, Lexi, we ran a pregnancy test at your request.”

  “And…” I waited, holding the air in my lungs.

  “And the results are positive.”

  I felt like someone had dropped a ton of bricks on my lap without warning. Even though it shouldn’t have been a surprise after doing three home pregnancy tests, I guess I was hoping for some kind of miracle, like their test could reverse the effects of enjoying sexual ecstasy in South Padre Island.

  “I don’t understand. I have an IUD. I shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant.” I paced the room back and forth, processing my options, because now it was definitely reality.

  Dr. Adams took a seat and said, “Why don’t you sit down for a moment, so we can talk?”

  I sat on the table and faced her. She scanned through her tablet. “I see that you had the IUD inserted on January tenth, correct?”

  “Yes, that sounds correct.” I quickly checked my phone, making sure.