Incognito

by Nick Payne

  Martha Anthony I wonder –

  Anthony Am I talking too much?

  Martha No, I want you to talk.

  Anthony Do you know what a wormhole is?

  Martha I don’t. No.

  Anthony It’s alright, neither did I, why would you? A wormhole used to be called an Einstein–Rosenburg bridge, but it’s a tunnel, really, basically. It’s a tunnel. It’s a tunnel between two parts of the cosmos. If you … If you had a bouncy ball and you marked two points on the ball point A and point B on either side of the ball and you drilled a hole you now have two ways to get from A to B. The tunnel in the middle is a wormhole. You could still travel on the surface but you can also use the funnel.

  Martha Did you study physics, Anthony?

  Anthony Me? No.

  Martha What was your subject?

  Anthony I’m studying history.

  Martha How are you finding it?

  Anthony Finding what?

  Martha Studying for your degree?

  Anthony Have I told you about Deborah?

  Martha You know what, Anthony? Let’s stop.

  Anthony Am I doing alright?

  Martha I think we should pick up this conversation another time.

  Anthony I love how they come together and move away and then come back together.

  Elouise I had a telephone call from Jack Kauffman today.

  Harvey Honey –

  Elouise You let me finish, you son of a bitch. I had a telephone call from Jack Kauffman, who … who wanted to inform me …

  Harvey Honey –

  Elouise How could you, Thomas?

  Harvey None of what Jack is –

  Elouise Right underneath –

  Harvey Jack is spreading a load of baloney –

  Elouise You need to leave.

  Harvey Honey –

  Elouise You need go upstairs and get your things and you need –

  Harvey Honey, none of what Jack is saying to you is true. I swear to you. They are – The hospital – They wanna discredit me because o’ the brain.

  Elouise If I hear one more word about that goddam brain, I swear to God –

  Harvey Elouise, honey, listen to me: Jack Kauffman is trying to poison –

  Elouise The kids, Thom, what in the hell –

  Harvey This whole thing – This whole story – It is a whole heap of baloney –

  Elouise Who is she.

  Harvey What?

  Elouise You heard what I said, you son of a –

  Harvey Honey –

  Elouise Who is she. (Beat.) You tell me who she is right now or –

  Harvey Caroline, her name is Caroline Fitzgerald.

  Elouise What does she do.

  Harvey She’s a, she’s a nurse. She’s one of the assistants.

  Elouise She that young girl?

  Harvey She is.

  Elouise That young girl with the eyebrows?

  Harvey I don’t know?

  Elouise Whaddaya mean, you don’t know?

  Harvey I mean I don’t know, I don’t pay attention –

  Elouise Oh you wouldn’t know about that.

  Harvey Honey –

  Elouise You wouldn’t know about that ’cause you’re too damn busy –

  Harvey Honey, you need to calm down.

  Elouise Don’t you –

  Harvey Honey, honey, I can see the vein, okay? (A vein on Elouise’s forehead.) I can see the vein.

  Elouise Maybe I wanna burst it, maybe I wanna burst it and maybe I wanna have you clean it up.

  Harvey I don’t know what that means, okay?

  Elouise (beat) How long?

  Beat.

  Elouise How. Long.

  Harvey Start of the Fall. Give or take.

  Elouise You sleepin’ together?

  Beat.

  Elouise Okay. Here’s what I need you to do. I need you to leave, right now, and I need you to not come back. I will telephone you at the hospital with a time when the house will be empty and then, and only then, will I allow you back into our home to collect your things. And if you wanna see your children again, you need to stop with this brain.

  Harvey I wanna see the boys.

  Elouise Do you understand?

  Harvey I wanna see the boys, Elouise.

  Elouise Then you need to stop with the brain.

  Harvey I love you, okay, I swear to you, okay, but listen, the brain, the work with the brain is something that I cannot stop now, you know that. But this thing, this thing with Caroline, it barely even got started, I swear to you. Things at the hospital are tense right now, okay, things are intense and I’m havina deal with a lot of –

  Elouise Things’re intense.

  Harvey Exactly.

  Elouise Oh, they’re intense, okay, my apologies, I didn’t realise –

  Harvey There is a lot of opposition to the work I’m tryina do, and I can’t talk to you about it because you’re so goddam …!

  Elouise What. So God damn what.

  Harvey Every breakthrough is a struggle, okay. And maybe if you supported me, ’steada –

  Elouise Supported you, supported you, are you kidding me?

  HarveyEinstein didn’t come

  up with relativity overnight,

  okay, it took, it took, years,

  it took decades, and at the

  moment, at this particular

  moment, the work I’m doing,

  the research I’m tryina do – Elouise(on ‘with’) It’s

  a distraction, it’s an

  obsession, and I’m sicka

  hearin’ about it. It’s a

  pastime –

  ElouiseGet out.

  HarveyNow I cannot tell you

  what we might be able to

  uncover, that I cannot tell you.

  But what I can tell you, is that

  there is a helluva lot we still

  don’t know. We used to believe

  we were the centre of the

  universe and look how that

  turned out. Progress is a

  destination. ‘Chance favours

  the prepared mind’, you

  know who said that?

  Elouise(on ‘know’) That

  doesn’t mean anything.

  Elouise Stop talking.

  Elouise You’re a maniac.

  Enough. Enough.

  Harvey Listen to me, I love you, I swear to God.

  Elouise You don’t get to say that … You do not get to say that … You have broken my heart.

  Brenda (groggy) Richard, what are you doing? It’s really late, sweetheart. Trouble sleeping again, what’s the matter?

  Richard stabs Brenda twice in very quick succession.

  Richard!

  Richard stabs Brenda nine times in very quick succession.

  Storing

  Margaret Henry, I have something that I would very much like to ask you.

  Henry You sound very serious.

  Margaret That’s because I have something serious that I want to speak to you about.

  Henry Alright.

  Beat.

  My love …?

  Margaret I’m all of a sudden very nervous. I might try closing my eyes?

  Henry Good idea.

  Margaret (closes eyes; beat) Here we go. Henry, I love you and I would like for us to become engaged. But I don’t know if that is what you want because you are yet to not only ask me but yet to even broach this particular subject in conversation –

  Henry Margaret –

  Margaret And if the reason you have not yet broached this particular subject in conversation is because you’ve no desire to –

  Henry Margaret –

  Margaret But I think it is important that we at least enter into a discussion –

  Henry I agree –

  Margaret Because we have been in a relationship now –

  Henry I know, I’m sorry –

  Margaret And if there is a problem regarding –

  Hen
ry There is not –

  Margaret And as time has gone on, I have struggled with the idea that my role in our engagement is to simply await –

  Henry I will ask, I will –

  Margaret I think it’s all a bit outdated, the idea –

  Henry Margaret, I am scared of your father. (Beat.) I’m scared of your father.

  Margaret opens her eyes.

  That’s why I haven’t asked. Because I have been too scared to seek his permission. That is the reason you have not been asked this particular question.

  Margaret Scared?

  Henry Yes.

  Margaret In what way?

  Henry Because I find him to be an intimidating man.

  Margaret I had no idea.

  Henry Good, because I have worked very hard to conceal my fear.

  Margaret But why?

  Henry goes blank. Beat.

  Henry?

  Henry is mentally absent for a few seconds more.

  Henry – Henry.

  Henry Yes.

  Margaret You disappeared.

  Henry For how long?

  Margaret Only a moment or so.

  Henry Oh.

  Margaret How do you feel?

  Henry I feel ridiculous for having been afraid of your father.

  Margaret Don’t.

  Henry His hands, he has very large hands.

  Margaret He’s a carpenter.

  Henry I worry sometimes that he might … I don’t know … I worry that he already feels you have disadvantaged yourself in light of my seizures –

  Margaret I don’t care. And he doesn’t feel that way.

  Henry I also, to speak frankly, I also find his moustache quite intimidating. The hands and the moustache are a particularly intimidating combination.

  Margaret I understand. What should we do?

  Henry Well. If I may, I think, I think if you were to ask me, then, in my eyes, that would remove the concern I have about the reaction of your father.

  Margaret kneels.

  But may I, may I ask you a question regarding your father?

  Margaret stands.

  Henry Does he scare you?

  Margaret No.

  Henry Not at all?

  Margaret No.

  Henry Your father does not scare you?

  Margaret No.

  Henry The hands?

  Margaret Henry.

  Henry Sorry.

  Margaret (kneels, beat) Henry Maison, will you marry me?

  Henry Yes.

  Henry has a seizure, a ‘grand mal’: a stiffening of the limbs followed by rhythmic convulsions.

  Margaret Henry – Henry – Henry!

  Henry (suddenly ‘back to normal’) Hello my love, where have you been?

  Margaret Right here. I’ve been right here.

  Henry I thought you’d left?

  Margaret No.

  Henry Where have you been?

  Margaret I’ve been right here.

  Henry I thought you’d left.

  Margaret Never.

  Martha The police found him on the underground.

  Patricia Shit, really?

  Martha He says his name’s Anthony but we’ve no way of knowing. At least not yet anyway.

  Patricia And, what, he just has no idea who he is?

  Martha It’s not that he doesn’t know who he is but – I don’t s’pose you’ve heard of something called confabulation, have you?

  Patricia Is it a dance?

  Martha No.

  Patricia Is it a board game?

  Martha No.

  Patricia Then no, I’ve never heard of it. But it sounds fucking cool whatever it is.

  Martha It’s not that cool.

  Patricia I bet it’s gonna be pretty cool.

  Martha It’s, it’s basically a process whereby the brain produces spontaneous, partly made-up, maybe partly not, memories. It’s so people with certain disorders or syndromes can continue to function. A damaged brain can continue to make sense of the world even if the patient can’t.

  Patricia And so what he literally can’t remember anything?

  Martha My instinct would be that he’s wiped out his long-term – or rather it’s been wiped out. I think. Maybe.

  Patricia How come?

  Martha Could be substance abuse, might be an injury, a traumatic event – Could be any number of things.

  Patricia Fuck. And so what he’s just sort of stuck, saying and doing and thinking the same things over and over?

  Martha It’s a bit more complicated than that but, in effect, yes.

  Patricia That is fucking tragic.

  Martha Interesting.

  Patricia What, you don’t think so?

  Martha I think I probably used to, but, no, I don’t feel that way now.

  Patricia Well, that is the darkest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, ever.

  Martha But – I mean – Imagine if you could, if you could forget all the embarrassing things you’d ever done, all the people you loved who are dead and who you desperately miss – Imagine if you could forget all that trauma and all that pain. Having to remember keeps us locked into a particular mode of behaviour – It makes us a certain person. Imagine how liberating it would be to not know who you are. To feel free to behave however you want. To not be sad or self-conscious or afraid of what might be round the corner. Most of the amnesiacs I get to see or work with make a full recovery. More often than not their amnesia is temporary. But for a couple of minutes or a couple of hours, I feel like saying to them: enjoy it while it lasts. I envy the freedom they have to be anyone they want.

  Patricia Okay so wait that’s different; you’re still saying they’re in there somewhere, their personality or whatever is still –

  Martha No, that’s not what I’m saying. If you can’t remember who you are then in a way you aren’t really anyone.

  Patricia Shit the bed, Martha.

  Martha I’m sorry?

  Patricia What. The. Fuck.

  Martha There isn’t a, the brain doesn’t have some kind of central region that unites all the elements of us. Our brains are constantly, exhaustively working overtime to deliver the illusion that we’re in control, but we’re not. The brain builds a narrative to steady us from moment to moment, but it’s ultimately an illusion. There is no me, there is no you, and there is certainly no self; we are divided and discontinuous and constantly being duped. The brain is a storytelling machine and it’s really, really good at fooling us.

  Patricia I take it back, that, that is the literally the darkest most bleakest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

  Martha Or it’s liberating. Realising I’m just a brain doesn’t mean I can’t live a meaningful life, it just means my life is without meaning.

  Patricia No, you’re right, that’s not bleak at all.

  Martha I know it feels like an appalling revelation, but – The moment I stopped seeing my patients as human beings and started seeing them for what they really are – My, my mum, my adoptive mum, she … I s’pose what I’m trying to say is, when you, when you, when you look at a brain, say –

  Patricia Every other day of the week.

  Martha When you really, really look it, you realise, or at least I did: there’s nothing. There is nothing there – Nothing in there. You can poke it, you can prod it, you can weigh it, you can chop it up –

  Patricia Oh my God, did you poke a brain?

  Martha What? No.

  Patricia I woulda totally fucking poked it.

  Martha I didn’t poke it.

  Patricia How many brains have you seen?

  Martha Only a couple.

  Patricia You’re so blasé. (A French accent for some reason.) ‘Yeah, sure, I’ve seen a couple of brains, so what?’

  Martha I might need to start thinking about making a move.

  Patricia What?

  Martha Wanted to try and catch the last tube.

  Patricia Stay.

  Martha What?

  Patricia
Stay.

  Martha Really?

  Patricia You should totally stay. If you want. But I mean if you need to get back –

  Martha No – I – That would – Staying sounds … I would love that.

  Patricia Great. I’ll go and make up the spare bedroom. Jokes.

  Martha Can I tell you something?

  Patricia You definitely can.

  Martha I was married.

  Patricia (longish beat) Okay.

  Martha For twenty-one years.

  Patricia Okay.

  Martha His name is Paul. (Beat.) I’m sorry. For not telling you. Sooner. This is all quite new. To me.

  Patricia You’re divorced, right?

  Martha Yes – God – Yes – Absolutely done and dusted.

  Patricia Okay.

  Martha Patricia, I’m really sorry.

  Patricia It’s okay. Um, it’s a bit … odd, but.

  Martha If you want to change your mind about me spending the night –

  Patricia I might. If that’s okay? But not – not for any particularly negative reason – But just because –

  Martha I understand.

  Patricia Okay.

  Beat.

  Martha (perhaps growing a little upset, but not too much) I really am sorry.

  Lisa-Scott Hi, how’s it goin’, my names’s Lisa-Scott; I’m gonna be your waitress.

  Harvey Hello Lisa-Scott; I’m Thom.

  Lisa-Scott Hi Thom.

  Harvey Great accent.

  Lisa-Scott Oh yeah, you like my accent?

  Harvey What is that, British?

  Lisa-Scott I’m from Sydney. Australia.

  Harvey Huh.

  Lisa-Scott Ever been to Australia, Thom?

  Harvey You know, I have not.

  Lisa-Scott It’s great; you should check it out.

  Harvey I will be sure to do that.

  Lisa-Scott What about you, where’bouts you from, Thom?

  Harvey I’m from Kansas.

  Lisa-Scott Local boy.

  Harvey You bet. I was in New Jersey. But.

  Lisa-Scott What brings you back, Thom?

  Harvey Uh, it’s kinda complicated, but –