Pieces of Me

by Rachel Ryan

  ***

  The next morning I spend extra time applying makeup to cover the bags under my eyes. I managed to get a few hours of broken sleep but not nearly enough. I stand in front of my open closet wondering what to wear before selecting a black knee length pencil skirt and a cap sleeved sky blue blouse. I leave my hair out flowing around my shoulders, before throwing my bag over my shoulder and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl for breakfast.

  When I walk into the staff room, Jake is sitting at one of the tables staring straight at the door. I give him a smile and head toward my locker. I try to focus on putting my things away but I can feel his eyes on me. Walking over to the fridge, I put my salad tub on the top shelf and close the door. Just as I turn to walk out of the room, Jake appears in front of me.

  “Hey, Abbi. I was just wondering…do you want to meet up after school today and get a drink…do some catching up?”

  Do I? “Um…sure, Jake. Meet me here at three thirty and we can organise something.”

  He flashes me those gorgeous dimples again and says “Great, will do.”

  Stepping around him I tell him I’ll see him later before heading off to my classroom.

  At three twenty five I am standing outside the staff room with my bag and books, when I spot Jake walking down the hall toward me. There are still a few students lingering around their lockers and I notice a few girls standing huddled in a group watching Jake and whispering as he walks past them. As he approaches me I give him a smile and nod at the group of girls saying softly “It looks like you’ve already made some friends.”

  He smirks and shrugs his shoulders, “What can I say? I’m irresistible. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

  We walk out to the staff parking lot and I follow Jake to the far corner where his blue SUV is parked. I guess not everything has changed in six years.

  As he goes to open the passenger side door, I tell him I’ll take my car and he can follow me.

  Ten minutes later I pull up in the parking area of a small bar that isn’t far from my apartment and step out of the car, locking it behind me. Jakes SUV pulls in beside me and he grins as he locks up his car and follows me into the bar. Finding a small table near the front window we sit down opposite each other and glance at the drink menu that’s sitting on the table.

  After a minute of awkward silence, Jake stands up to go and get our drinks

  “Do you know what you would like?” I know exactly what I would like and it has nothing to do with a drink, but of course I can’t say that.

  I give him the name of my favourite red wine and he strolls over to the bar.

  Watching him walk away I can’t help but admire the way his jeans sit on his nice, firm butt. As if he can hear my thoughts he suddenly glances back at me and I quickly look away, but not before I see the huge grin on his face. Great, now he’s going to think I’m a dirty perv. I force myself to keep staring through the window to avoid another embarrassing moment until he returns with our drinks.

  “So…what have you been up to for the last four years?” Like I said we were in contact for the first two years, but I have no idea what has been going on in his life since then.

  He shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip of his beer. “I’ve really just tried to focus on my studies. Plus I was working part time in a music shop selling guitars. That was kind of what reminded me about my love of music and eventually I realized that business isn’t really something I’m passionate about, you know? I was only really getting into business ‘cause my dad wanted that for me.”

  Blinking I realize that he has stopped talking. For a second there I was lost in the beautiful dark, chocolate coloured eyes.

  “Your dad would be proud of you. He would be happy that you are doing something you are passionate about.”

  His warm eyes linger on my mouth as I speak, making me rather nervous, so I look away, trying to settle my nerves.

  “What about you? What has been happening in your life over the last four years?”

  Shrugging, I take a sip of my wine and let it swirl around my mouth before swallowing. How do I reply to that question? Do I tell him that I spent the majority of those four years wondering why he forgot about me? Wondering where he was and what he was doing. Wondering how different my life could have been if only he had stayed with me. Do I tell him that for the last four years I have been trying, desperately, to piece my life back together after he left me in pieces? I shake those thoughts from my head.

  “Mainly focussing on my career, much like you.”

  “That’s it?”

  “Yep, that’s it. My life has become pretty boring.”

  He glances down at my glass of wine sitting on the table in front of me.

  “So, when did you start drinking wine? I seem to recall that you didn’t much like the taste when we were younger?”

  “Yeah, I’ve only really started drinking it in the last six months. Daniel got me into it.”

  “Daniel?”

  “My uh…my boyfriend.”

  He sits back in his chair looking a little shocked as he takes a long sip of his beer. After a minute of silence he looks into my eyes. I don’t know if it’s my imagination but his eyes look a little sad.

  “I guess when you told me you weren’t married, I assumed you were single.” He gazes out the window for a few seconds before looking back at me. “Are you happy with him, Abbi? Does he treat you the way you deserve to be treated?”

  Unsure of how to respond to that question, I just nod slightly.

  “Good. I’m really happy for you.”

  We sit for the next hour sharing life stories and reminiscing about old times, apart from the last few weeks we shared before he left me. I’m really tempted to ask him, but I shouldn’t be dredging up those old, painful memories over and over again.

  As we are standing up to leave, Jake turns to me “Are you okay to drive home?”

  Laughing, I reassure him that I’m fine. “I’m not that much of a lightweight. It takes a little more than one glass of wine to get me drunk these days.”

  He grins and my eyes are drawn to those sexy dimples again. I suddenly feel the urge to lean forward and run my tongue over each one. Time to go!

  As we exit the bar and make our way to our cars, I feel the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach. I don’t want to leave. I want to drag him back into the bar and just stay there forever. I want to lock the door and never let him leave me again.

  What the hell is going on? I’m going insane.

  “Well, thanks for the drink. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Sure thing.” I open the door and just as I’m about to slide into the driver’s seat of my car, I’m sure I hear him say “I look forward to it.”

  As I drive away I raise my hand in a wave and my eyes keep flicking to the rear view mirror. He stands completely still, watching my car until I turn the corner.

  Chapter Six

  I don’t see him again until Friday afternoon. For some strange reason I have been avoiding the staff room again. I want to see him, but I’m scared that he will see how his presence is affecting me. It has taken me so long to get to the point where I feel like I no longer obsess over him. I was finally beginning to accept the fact that he had left me and I was somehow moving on with my life. Now, suddenly, he’s back and so are all of the crazy emotions that I felt over the last six years.

  As I’m walking to my car after my last lesson of the day, I see him leaning up against it, watching me with a smile.

  “Hey, Shorty.” I swear my heart melts when he calls me that. “Have you got any plans tonight?”

  “No, just a quiet night in front of the TV. The usual.” Smiling, I unlock my car and throw my bag and books onto the passenger seat.

  “I’m heading to that bar, ‘The Joint’, with some friends. You should bring some friends and come along. Bring Daniel.”

  “Daniel’s out of the state at the moment. Uh…I think I’ll pass. I’m exhausted and I thin
k an early night will do me good.”

  He looks a little disappointed as he starts walking backwards toward his SUV. “Okay, well the offer’s open if you change your mind.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so. I’ll see you on Monday.”

  Later that night I’m curled up on the couch with a book in my hand, when Cameron bursts through the front door with a couple of her friends following behind. All three of them are dressed up and look like they are ready for a night on the town.

  Cameron flops down beside me with a grin on her face. “So, we’re going out for Sarah’s Birthday and you’re coming with us.” She takes my book out of my hand, places my bookmark in position and drops it on the coffee table.

  “Honestly, Cam, I could not be bothered. I’ve had a big week and I’m just looking forward to some peace and quiet tonight.”

  Cameron pulls a compact out of her purse and touches up her lipstick. “Come on. I really want you to come and check out this new bar. It’s so cool.”

  My curiosity perks up “Which bar are you going to?”

  Cameron’s friend, Sarah sits down on one of the armchairs. “We’re going to ‘The Joint’ again. It was awesome last time.”

  “Oh. No I really…” What harm could it do? I could use a bit of fun. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Jake will be there…Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit curious about who his friends are and whether there are any females included in said circle of friends. “Fine, I’ll come with you. Just give me twenty minutes.” Jumping up from the couch I run into my room and when I stand in front of the mirror to apply some makeup I’m surprised by the glow to my cheeks and the gleam of excitement in my eyes. In all the times I’ve stood in front of this mirror in preparation for a date with Daniel, not once did I see this look in my eyes. Telling myself it’s because I have known Jake for a lot longer than Daniel, I reach into my closet and pull out some skinny jeans and a light off the shoulder black top. Pushing my feet into some black ankle boots I check my appearance in my full length mirror and nod in satisfaction. Leaving my hair flowing loose around my shoulders I tuck the silver locket under my shirt so only the chain is visible. I quickly spray on some of my vanilla scented perfume and walk back out to the living room to let the girls know I’m ready.

  Cameron looks up from the couch and wolf whistles “You look hot, sis.” Sarah and the other girl, whose name I can’t remember, nod in agreement and as we all leave the apartment, I twist the lock on the front door pulling it closed behind me.

  ‘The Joint’ is only a couple of blocks from our place so it only takes us ten minutes to walk there. When we arrive the exterior looks like every other business in the area, but the windows are tinted making it hard to see in. I’ve been past a few times and wondered what the interior looks like; I guess I will find out now. The winged creatures take flight inside my stomach as we walk through the front door and I scan the room.

  The interior is very spacious and modern with a long bar that takes up almost the entire length of one of the side walls. The bar top is smooth and sleek and the fixtures are stainless steel. The colour code for the bar seems to be black, white and touches of red. There are lots of tall, round black tables surrounded by black and white stools. Many of the tables are currently occupied and the large dance floor seems to be quite full as well with many bodies moving to the fast beat of the music.

  Glancing back to the bar, I scan the backs of the many people occupying the stools. My eyes fall on a group of guys that are standing at the far end and my eyes suddenly meet the dark brown ones that are staring at me from across the room. He’s here. One of his friends says something to him and I can see Jake’s lips moving as he talks back to him but his eyes don’t leave mine. Cameron takes hold of my hand and pulls me toward the bar, whispering “There’s Jake, let’s go and say hello.”

  I let her lead me toward his group of friends and I feel a little rush of pleasure when I look around the group of faces and realise they are all males. My eyes are drawn back to Jake as a smile lights up his face.

  “Hi, Shorty. I see you changed your mind.”

  “Uh…yeah, with a little encouragement from Cameron.” Glancing over at Cameron I see the massive smile and look of triumph on her face. Did she know that Jake was going to be here tonight?

  Jake also glances at Cameron and her friends, nodding at them in greeting before turning to introduce his friends. There are four of them in total, Wes, Tristan, Levi and Brady. Over the next few minutes Jake explains to me that he met Brady in Perth and when Brady accepted a job offer from his cousin, Levi, he decided to tag along and apply for a job in Sydney too. They found an apartment to share which he explains is not far from ‘The Joint’ also meaning that it isn’t far from my place. Which means that, for the last month he has been living so close to me and I didn’t even know.

  Levi suggests we find a table to sit at and leads us to the back of the bar away from the dance floor. Levi and Cameron walk close together and chat to each other as they lead the way to a large table surrounded by red chairs. We all find a seat and of course I find myself sitting beside Jake. Not that I mind, I just worry about the effect he has on my body and how the alcohol amplifies it. I sip on my drink as I glance around the bar taking in the contemporary décor. I glance back at Jake to see him watching me with a strange expression.

  He lifts a hand and runs his fingers through my hair, causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

  “You cut off all your hair.”

  Swallowing, I find my voice “Hmm. I needed a change. It was the easiest thing to change.”

  “I loved your long hair. It still looks good shorter, but I used to love watching the dark waves sway across your back almost reaching your cute little butt.”

  I choke on my drink and see Cameron grinning at me from across the table. She must have heard what Jake said judging by the raised eyebrows.

  “Umm…excuse me for a minute; I need to…Cameron, can you please show me the way to the bathroom?”

  Cameron leads me to the opposite side of the room before she glances back to our table and whispers, “He’s watching you walk away.”

  I push down the feeling of pleasure at hearing her words and try to look stern as I turn to face her.

  “Just what are you playing at Cam?

  She smiles while trying to feign a look of innocence. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Abbi. I thought you needed a night out so you weren’t sitting around moping about the old man.”

  Frowning I warn Cameron to watch her mouth. I’ve known all along that she doesn’t like Daniel. For a start she thinks he’s too old for me, and not so much his age, but his personality.

  “Come on, sis. Before you met Daniel, you were actually fun. Now you just sit at home drinking your wine, waiting for him to return from his work trips.” When she says work trips she holds up two fingers on each hand representing quotation marks. When I had first started seeing Daniel and he had left for a five day work trip to Melbourne she had joked that it didn’t take someone a whole week to take a couple of photos and that he was probably with his other girlfriend.

  “Cameron, Daniel is a good man. He would never do anything to hurt me. Jake, on the other hand…”

  Cameron’s eyebrows draw together as a slight frown takes over her face.

  “What do you mean? How did he hurt you? I thought you were good friends?”

  Shaking my head, I spot the sign for the ladies bathroom and walk in that direction.

  Cameron grabs hold of my arm and spins me so that I’m facing her.

  “Abbi, how did he hurt you?”

  “He left me, okay. He left me and didn’t think twice about it,”

  Cameron pulls me into a hug and whispers into my ear “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise.”

  Feeling tears stinging my eyes I hug her back “You were too young to understand what was happening and three months after he left I moved to Sydney, so of course you couldn’t have known.” Wiping
the tears from my cheeks, I stand up to look in her eyes. ‘Please stop trying to play matchmaker with the two of us. It can only end in disaster.”

  Cameron nods once and rubs my shoulder. “The only reason I thought of it was because that first night I ran into him he told me that you two were best friends but he said he always considered your relationship more than that.”

  ‘He really said that?”

  “Yeah, so I thought that if I got you to spend time with him, it might reignite the flame.”

  “Cam, I really appreciate the thought but you need to accept that I’m with Daniel now. I am happy with him.” I feel like if I keep telling myself that I will eventually believe it.

  Cameron rolls her eyes “Fine, stick with the uptight, old man.” She holds up both hands, palms facing me. “Just kidding! Whatever makes you happy, sis. That’s all I want.”

  An hour later I am sitting in my chair beside Jake and the steady flow of drinks has made me feel like I’ve gone six years back in time. We are chatting and laughing just like we used to and I’m having such a good time. I can’t even remember the last time I laughed this much; my cheeks are aching from the constant smiling. Cameron and Levi seem to have hit it off well and are now out on the dance floor looking pretty friendly. Cameron’s friends are out there too but they are dancing with a couple of guys I’ve never seen before. One of my favourite songs comes on and I start swaying from side to side in my chair. Glancing over at Jake, I see him watching me with a smile.

  “Do you remember the last time I saw you dance?”

  I feel the heat in my cheeks as I recall the circumstances of that night. Jake smiles as I look away from him trying unsuccessfully to hide my blush. He reaches out and gently cups my chin with one of his hands and as he turns my face back to him, he shakes his head.