Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  I reached for the tissue box on the bedside table and grabbed one from the box. Then I sat up and gently cleaned Jenna’s hand. “You’re amazing,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

  “I like this taking it slow thing,” Jenna giggled. She snuggled into my arms and said, “You’re not going to tell Rick, are you?”

  “Hell, no! You’re not going to tell Sam, are you?”

  “No.” We both started to chuckle at the same time. “You don’t think I woke your granddad?”

  “I’m sure he’s still sound asleep. We’ll sneak downstairs a little later. I just want to hold you right now.”

  I was sitting in Rick’s dorm room waiting for him to finish the letter he was working on. We were going to head out to grab a pizza and watch the Sixers' game on TV. Sam was staying in to study.

  “Wish me luck,” Rick said, grabbing the white envelope from his desk.

  “For what?” I asked, peering up from my reading.

  “I’m sending my letter to declare eligibility for this year’s NBA Draft.”

  “One and done, huh?”

  “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  “Did you tell Sam yet?”

  “Nope. You know how she feels about it. Why get her angry with me if I don’t even know if I’m eligible yet? That would be the fight to end all fights. There’s no point bringing it up if there’s only a slim possibility that it could happen.”

  He was right Sam would never go for it. She valued education above everything. Quitting college to play basketball was something she would never condone. “But you can dream.”

  “I plan to make that dream a reality,” Rick said. “For now can we keep this on the DL? If I can go pro, I’m taking the opportunity. I want the money when I’m young to get the most years out of my career. College will still be there when I retire.”

  I had never looked at it that way. You could never be too old to learn, but a pro basketball player’s shelf life was limited.

  Closing my book, I nodded my head in agreement. “Makes sense.”

  “Let’s get out of here, I’m hungry.”

  We sat in the sports bar, eating pizza and drinking beer. The only time Rick and I would have a conversation was during a block of commercials.

  “How are things with you and Jenna? You guys have been dating for long time now.”

  “We’ve only been dating for five months,” I corrected. “You and Sam have been dating for a year and a half.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “She’s still a virgin, if that’s what you’re trying to find out.”

  “That means you’re still a virgin, too.”

  “Ha ha, thanks for reminding me.”

  “Hey, do you want to go to a frat party Friday night?”

  I was thankful for the change in topic, but the last place I wanted to be was in a frat house on a Friday night with a group of drunk idiots. “Are you taking Sam?”

  “Of course. She won’t let me go alone.”

  “That’s because you drink too much. Someone has to chaperone you to make sure you don’t get alcohol poisoning.”

  “Aw, come on. This is college. We’re supposed to have fun!”

  “Yeah, I’d just hate to see you blow your ride and a shot at the NBA because you did something stupid.”

  The game came back on the TV and that was the end of the conversation.

  Sam, Rick and I piled into the car and headed for the party on Friday night. I was always the designated driver. Good ol’ responsible Jake,. Yep, that’s me.

  The frat house was disgusting: the place reeked of alcohol; two girls were having sex on the pool table while one guy filmed it on his phone, and others stood around cheering the girls on; some awful rap music was playing from the stereo system. I couldn’t make out the words all I could do was feel the bass vibrate through my feet.

  The wild party raged on while I was standing in the corner with Sam. Rick was off in the kitchen doing shots. “Why don’t we go upstairs and see if we can find someplace a little quieter to talk?” I shouted over the loud music.

  “I have a better idea. Let’s go outside,” she yelled back.

  I nodded my head in agreement and we quickly left the house. We ended up sitting in my car.

  “Listen to that,” Sam whispered.

  “I don’t hear anything.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I know you didn’t want to come here tonight. I’m glad you did.”

  “We’re in this together, Jake. We have to watch out for him.” Sam leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “You are so amazing.”

  When she pulled back, I noticed the key necklace peeking out of her shirt collar. “You’re wearing the necklace I bought you.”

  Sam smiled. “I never take it off.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “It was given to me by someone very special,” she said, looking me in the eye and holding my gaze.

  I didn’t know how to respond. Inside, my heart was bursting with happiness. If Sam cherished my gift, she also cherished me. I pulled her into an embrace and whispered in her ear, “You’re the most important person in the world to me.” My lips curved up in a smile. In that moment of honesty, I felt my spirit soar.

  Sam pulled back, breaking our connection. She caressed the side of my face with her hand, not saying a word.

  Some drunken fool lost his footing while trying to walk on the sidewalk, and stumbled onto the hood of my car. The moment Sam and I shared was broken.

  “I think it’s time we get out of here. We better go pull Rick away from the vodka shots. I don’t need him throwing up in the car again,” I finished in a deadpan voice.

  We got out of the car, collected Rick, and drove him back to the dorm.

  Somehow Sam and I managed to drag him up a flight of stairs and dump him on his bed. “Thanks, Jake. I owe you big time,” Sam said, sitting down on the desk chair.

  “He’d do the same for me,” I reasoned.

  “You wouldn’t be stupid enough to get yourself into this kind of situation.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “Sometimes I want to take my crutch and knock some common sense into him.”

  “He has a hard head. He’ll damage your crutch.”

  We laughed together while Rick lay passed out on the bed. “It’s going to be a long night,” I said, taking a seat on top of the desk. “You staying here?”

  Sam nodded. “Yep, have to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid like choke on his own vomit.”

  I sighed. Sam deserved so much better. “That’s love.”

  She shrugged. “It must be.”

  “Then I’m staying with you. His roommate won’t be back tonight. I think Rick has a clean set of sheets here somewhere. You can sleep in the other bed.”

  “No, we’ll take turns keeping an eye on him. That way we can both get some sleep.”

  Sam started rummaging through Rick’s dresser drawers, looking for the sheets. She found a Playboy magazine and tossed it in the trash.

  I looked in the trunk at the foot of his bed. Buried under a few balled up towels, I found the sheets. “Pay dirt,” I announced, pulling the navy sheets from the bottom. “At least I hope they’re clean.”

  “They’re folded. That’s a good sign,” Sam remarked as she walked over to his roommate’s bed and started stripping the sheets. I hobbled over and we put the new sheets on the bed together.

  Sam slipped off her shoes and got under the sheets. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay up with you?” she queried.

  “I’m good. Get some sleep.”

  “Wake me in a few hours,” she yawned.

  “I will. Goodnight, Sam.”

  Chapter Seven

  On a warm day in the middle of May, I pulled into the driveway to find Mr. Welsh sitting on my front porch. He should have been at work, but he was waiting for me. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong. In my heart, I knew what was happening; I just did
n’t want to face it. I took a deep breath and exited the car. Instead of rushing to the porch, I walked slowly, like an accused man heading for his execution.

  Mr. Welsh stood up as I approached the front steps. “Hi, Jake,” he said in a melancholy voice.

  “Mr. Welsh, it’s Granddad, isn’t it?”

  He sadly nodded his head. “Come next door with me,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder and steering me toward his home.

  We entered through the kitchen door and found Rick and Jenna sitting at the table. Mrs. Welsh was busy at the stove, preparing tea. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, Mrs. Welsh was hugging me. “Jake, I’m so sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Take a seat. We have things to discuss,” Mr. Welsh said, motioning to the empty seat next to Jenna.

  I sat down and Jenna placed her hand on my knee to comfort me. Instinctively, I placed my hand on top of hers. A steaming cup of hot tea was placed in front of me. “What happened?” I asked, absentmindedly staring at the steam wafting off the tea cup.

  “When I went over to check on your granddad at lunch time, I found him in his chair. He died in his sleep,” Mrs. Welsh explained as a single tear ran down her cheek.

  “He didn’t suffer. That’s good,” I said. I was so grateful he’d died peacefully and didn’t have to endure what my parents went through.

  “Jake, your granddad made me executor of his will when you came to live with him. I’ll help you get through this.”

  “I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted.

  “He left very specific instructions regarding his funeral and that he is to be buried with your grandmother. He prepaid for everything so you wouldn’t be burdened.”

  “He wasn’t a burden,” I muttered.

  “Of course not, dear,” Mrs. Welsh added.

  “How soon do we have to have the funeral?”

  “We can do it in two days. He wanted a simple service at the funeral home.”

  “That’s fine,” I agreed. “Thank you for your help, Mr. Welsh. I’m very grateful.” I took a sip of tea. The enormity of the situation was starting to sink in. “Where will I live?”

  “The house is paid off. It’s yours. All you have to do is keep up with the property taxes,” Mr. Welsh explained.

  “I don’t have to leave?”

  “Not if you don’t want to. We can talk about it more after the funeral.”

  “You can stay here tonight, if you would like,” Mrs. Welsh offered.

  I looked at her and smiled, grateful for her kindness. “I think I want to sleep in my own bed. Thanks for the offer.”

  “I can stay with you,” Rick added.

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  There was an awkward silence at the table. I think no one knew what to say. Finally I spoke. “I don’t want everyone being all sad over me. Can we just do something normal?”

  Mrs. Welsh patted my hand. “You’re staying for dinner.”

  Mr. Welsh added, “I think there are a few other things we should discuss right now. Rick and Jenna, will you leave us alone for a bit?”

  Jenna looked at her father with determination. She wasn’t going anywhere. Rick didn’t look too pleased with the request either. I squeezed Jenna’s hand under the table. “It’s okay. I need to do this.” Then I turned to Rick. “Does Sam know yet?”

  He shook his head, no. “I’ll go give her a call.”

  The siblings left the table and Mr. Welsh began to explain various aspects of the will. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying; at times I was more successful than others. In a way, I felt like a zombie going through the motions, devoid of emotion.

  The five of us ate dinner in silence. Mrs. Welsh and Jenna cleared the plates when the meal was finish. Mr. Welsh and I ended up in the living room, discussing plans for the funeral.

  By eight o’clock, I was tired and couldn’t talk about wills and future plans any further. “I need to get some sleep. I have school in the morning,” I said to Mrs. Welsh.“You don’t have to go. They would understand, considering the circumstances.”

  “I don’t know what I want to do right now, except sleep. I’ll let you know in the morning.”

  “Okay, dear,” she replied, hugging me yet again.

  “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

  Rick and I walked into my house. I wasn’t sure what I would find. I envisioned furniture overturned or medical paraphernalia. The house looked completely the same as it always did. That was a relief. I heard the door open and turned around to find Sam running toward me. I instinctively reached out my arms and caught her. She hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe.

  “I’m so sorry, Jake,” she whispered in my ear. “I got here as quickly as I could.”

  I closed my eyes and inhaled her scent, felt her warmth, and I was at peace. “Thank you.” Rick moved in for a group hug. I’m not even sure how long we stayed like that. All I could think was that everything was going to be okay because Rick and Sam were there.

  My bedroom hadn’t changed since I was twelve–years–old: it still had two twin beds, one for me and one for Rick. He used to sleep over when we were younger. He liked staying at my place because his house was so crowded.

  “Can I get you anything a glass of water, some Tylenol PM?” Sam asked with caring.

  “I just want to get a shower and go to sleep. Will you stay the night?”

  “Yes.”

  I kissed her on the cheek, then made my way toward the bathroom.

  After I showered, I dressed in a pair of navy sweat pants and a grey tee shirt. I lay in bed for the longest time, listening to Sam and Rick’s breathing as they fell off to sleep. They were snuggled together in the twin bed opposite mine. I turned on the radio and eventually I drifted off to sleep.

  I was riding in the back seat of the car. My dad was driving on a winding road. One minute I was laughing with my parents, the next minute, I was waking up in the hospital.

  I couldn’t talk because a tube was stuck down my throat. My eyes grew wide with panic as I turned my head, looking for my parents. A nurse smiled down at me as she gently touched my arm. “Welcome back. I’ll get the doctor. Try to relax. I know it’s hard with that tube down your throat.”

  The doctor entered the room a few minutes later. “Hi, Jake.” He handed me a dry erase board to communicate, since I couldn’t talk. “How are you feeling?”

  Awful. Where are my parents? I wrote on the board.

  The doctor looked me in the eye. I could sense his hesitation. “Do you remember what happened?” he asked me.

  I shook my head, no.

  “There was an accident, Jake. The car hit some ice and you went down an embankment and hit a tree. I’m sorry, Jake.”

  He didn’t have to say any more. I turned my head away from him and silently cried. The monitors I was hooked up to began to beep. Then I felt a needle pierce my arm.

  I gasped for air, bolting upright in my bed. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I tried to calm down and slow my breathing; I started taking deep breaths. The nightmares were back. Closing my eyes in defeat, I sighed. When I opened them, I spied Rick and Sam still sleeping in the tiny bed. Glad I hadn’t woken them, I decided to get a glass of water, so I quietly left the bedroom and padded to the kitchen.

  Sitting at the kitchen table, I turned the glass in my hand and nearly knocked it over when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” Sam asked, taking a seat next to me.

  “Bad dream, that’s all. It’s the same nightmare I had after my parents died.”

  “Oh, Jake,” she said with sympathy as she took my hand.

  “It’s not a shock Granddad died. He was eighty-five, after all. I don’t even know how to explain what I’m feeling.”

  “What’s going to happen now?”

  “Mr. Welsh said the house is mine. All I have to do is pay the property taxes each year.”

  “That’s good you don’t have to pay a mortgage. You wouldn’t believ
e the price of apartments around campus. This should be a relief. You’re not thinking of selling, are you?”

  “I don’t know, Sam. I mean, I stayed here for Granddad. I could afford a dorm on campus, but I didn’t want to leave him.”

  “You don’t have to make that decision tonight. Are you hungry? I’m hungry. I didn’t eat much for dinner last night.”

  Sam couldn’t quite follow my train of thought. I could hardly blame her. “It’s two in the morning, Jake.”

  “Scrambled eggs and toast.” I stood up and reached for the skillet, grabbed the eggs and butter from the fridge, and a loaf of bread. Soon I was busy cooking. It helped to calm me down. I wasn’t Rachael Ray, but I was handy in the kitchen. That was a good thing, because Granddad couldn’t cook at all.

  Sam devoured her breakfast. “This is really good. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

  “My grandmother’s cookbooks. If I hadn’t learned, Granddad and I would have starved. She took care of him for so many years, he sort of just seemed lost when she died. I wonder if he would have lived as long as he did if I hadn’t shown up on his doorstep.”

  “My mom always says, ‘Things happen for a reason.’ Her other favorite saying is, ‘If it’s meant to be, it will happen.’ I’m not so sure I believe her, but it’s a nice sentiment.”

  I cleared the dishes from the table. “Thanks for being here. It helps.”

  “I’d do anything for you, Jake. You know that.”

  I gave her a heartfelt smile and nodded my head. Sam was a friend I would have for the rest of my life. “Do you want to go back to bed?” I asked, extending my hand to her. Sam took my hand and we walked back to my bedroom.

  There we found Rick sprawled out on the bed, foot hanging over the side and the pillows pushed to the floor. Sam chuckled. “Looks like I lost my spot.”