W.H.O. Files: Potions in the Pizza

by Mikey Brooks

  “That file there,” Emmy said, pointing to the desktop. “The one that says W.H.O. Headquarters.”

  Ethan dragged the mouse to the file and clicked. It opened and an internet browser popped up with a password command. Ethan typed in a few numbers that appeared as asterisks. He clicked Submit, and the screen went to a page with the acronym W.H.O. next to it. It had the same symbol that was on the screensaver.

  “What does that symbol mean?” Emmy asked.

  “It looks like a broom,” Ethan offered. “You know, the old-fashioned kind that witches fly.”

  “Looks like an arrow to me,” Jax added.

  “Whatever it is, I’ve seen it before, but I can’t place where.” Emmy tried to push her mind to when she had seen it. Was it at their grandparent’s house? She was sure she’d seen the same symbol on a book or something.

  “I thought it looked familiar, too, but I wasn’t sure.” Ethan rolled the mouse and Emmy tried to make sense of the content she saw on the website. Links to several pages like the FBI and CIA, but she wasn’t sure if those were the government websites or acronyms for something else. One link caught her eye.

  “There, the one that says the W.H.O. Legacy.”

  Ethan clicked on it and a very lengthy text appeared. Before Ethan was able to read any of it aloud, a popup screen appeared. “It’s an instant message or something.”

  “What?” Emmy looked down at the message:

  WHAT IS YOUR CHECK IN STATUS? –Agent Rachel Orion

  “What do I say?” Ethan asked, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

  “Don’t say anything,” Emmy shouted. “Close the window. Close all the windows!” Ethan clicked a few times and the screen went back to the desktop. “You guys, this is crazy stuff. Did you see those links to the FBI? We can’t be messing with government stuff. We can get Mom and Dad in serious trouble.”

  “Oh, now you’re growing a conscience?” Ethan asked, turning around. “Emmy, if they wanted this to be a secret from us, they should have never lied about it. The family business—bah! What a bunch of crap. All this stuff about witches doesn’t tell us anything about what they do. How are we supposed to figure it out if you don’t want us looking?”

  “That’s not it. I’m fine with looking, but what happens if that Rachel person calls or something? We’re not Mom and Dad! We can’t say what they are doing. I don’t even know a Rachel, do you?”

  “No, but it said Orion—she’s got to be related.”

  “You guys should seriously check these folders out.” Jax handed a navy blue folder to them. The symbol of the W.H.O. glared up at Emmy. “Check it out. It looks to me like your parents really are secret agents, just not ones I would have ever guessed. They don’t hunt criminals or terrorists.”

  “So what do they hunt?” Emmy asked, not really sure she wanted to know.

  “They hunt witches.”

  Emmy shook her head in disbelief. Witches weren’t real. They were something you read about in fairytales. This was real life. Yet here she was in a secret room in their house filled with hundreds of books on witches. “This can’t be happening.”

  “I know how you feel,” Ethan said. “Mom and Dad have been keeping this whole thing a secret our whole lives. Don’t they trust us to keep a secret?”

  Chapter Nine: Witches at the School

  Ethan continued to pace up and down the aisle of bookshelves occasionally glancing at the titles—all of them having something to do with magic and witches. He wanted to think this was all some practical joke and at any minute some TV show host was going to open a door and shout, “Surprise, you’re on camera.” Deep down he knew it would never happen. His parents were witch hunters, real live witch hunters.

  “So if all this is real,” he began, “you know, like witches and magic, do you think everything else we thought was make believe is real too? Like unicorns and elves? What about dragons?”

  They didn’t answer. Jax was busy clicking through the index of witches on the computer and Emmy was reading a dance book she’d pulled from her backpack. Out of all the fascinating books in the lair’s library she chose to read a book she already had. Ethan growled. Her priorities were all mixed up. He guessed sooner or later he’d find out the answer to his questions on his own. He crossed over to the glass case of strange objects and was about to open the case when Jax called out for him.

  “Guys, get over here. This is big!”

  “So what it’s a picture of some woman in prison,” Emmy said, returning to her book.

  Jax shook his head. “No, no, it says she’s escaped.”

  “So what?”

  “Look at her face!”

  Ethan stepped in closer to get a better look. Her striking features and indigo blue eyes brought back a memory of him peeking in a window—the school’s kitchen window. “Oh, my gosh. You mean the lunch ladies are—”

  “Exactly!” Jax said. “I told you this was big.”

  “What are you two talking about?” Emmy asked, finally glancing up from her dance book. “What’s up with the lunch ladies?”

  “Where have you been, Em?” Ethan locked his gaze on hers. “I tried to tell you yesterday. Haven’t you noticed how ‘crazy’ everyone has gotten over the new food at school?”

  “So what? They got new lunch ladies that know how to cook. That’s not ‘something going on.’ It’s just a change in the menu.”

  “That’s what the lunch ladies want you to think,” Jax said. “Or the witches.”

  “Witches?” Emmy rolled her eyes, then flipped another page in her book. “You two have let this room get to you. You are more conspiracy theory than a fleet of alien abductees. The lunch ladies are not witches.”

  “We have proof!” Ethan shouted, pointing to the computer screen. “Look. It’s her. The one I saw putting that secret ingredient in the cinnamon rolls.”

  “I bet the secret ingredient was some kind of magic potion,” Jax said.

  Ethan nodded. “That’s probably why it blew up when we extracted it.”

  “Whoa, whoa, hold on a sec,” Emmy said, holding up her hands. “I don’t have a clue what you two are going off about.”

  Ethan couldn’t believe how clueless Emmy could be sometimes. If she’d get her nose out of her precious dance book he wouldn’t have to repeat himself so much. “Look, yesterday at lunch all the kids went crazy for the cinnamon rolls. Seriously!”

  “Em, your friend Madison choked down three of them, and they were like, this big.” Jax made a large circle with his fingers.

  “So what? She liked the cinnamon rolls. Maybe she’s tired of her mom’s bean and flaxseed ones?”

  Jax nudged Ethan. “Tell her about what you heard.”

  “Okay. Yesterday at morning recess, I heard one lunch lady tell another lunch lady that the cinnamon rolls needed more of their secret ingredient.”

  “So? All good cooks have secret ingredients.”

  “What about one that will knock you out if you have too much?” Ethan asked.

  “Or explode.” Jax added.

  “Exactly!” Ethan said. Emmy still looked confused so he told her about how the lunch lady’s eyes flashed when she looked at him.

  “What do you mean flashed?”

  “Her eyeballs lit up like a Christmas tree.”

  “Her eyeballs lit up like a Christmas tree?” Emmy rolled her eyes. “This is starting to sound crazy.”

  “No more crazy than a secret lair in your basement full of witch hunting manuals and gadgets,” Jax said.

  Ethan put his hands up. “Wait! There’s more. We took home a sample of one of the cinnamon rolls. We tried to extract the potion, or rather, the secret ingredient—in fact we did, but outside the cinnamon roll it became volatile—”

  “—and exploded,” Jax finished. “We found this,” he motioned around the room, “when we came back to clean the mess.”

  Emmy sat back in her chair, clearly thinking a
bout what they’d just told her. She glanced at the computer screen with the picture of the lunch lady then looked back at Ethan. He needed her to believe him. “Please, Em. We’re not making this up. It’s real. All of this is real.”

  Emmy held her book close to her and gave a shrug. “Okay.”

  Ethan let out sigh of relief. “It’s a lot to wrap your head around. I mean one minute we discover our parents are witch hunters and the next thing you know witches are invading our school. It seems like a coincidence, but I really don’t believe in those. If witches have come to our school, there’s got to be a reason why. We’ve got to find out what that is.”

  Everyone was quiet for a long time. It was as if they were processing all the information they’d just learned. Emmy kept stealing glances around the room and shivering. “This place is creepy. We shouldn’t come down here anymore.”

  “What?” Ethan and Jax said together.

  “This is crazy stuff and we don’t know what the heck is going on. This is Mom and Dad’s job and honestly—it’s freaky—like scary freaky. We need to wait until they get back and then make them tell us what the W.H.O. is and what all this means. For all we know they’re just historians collecting stories for a book on witches.”

  “W.H.O. stands for Witch Hunter Organization. It’s says right here in the handbook.” Jax patted a thick bound book on the desk. “I’ve been browsing through it while I searched the computer. They have stuff on how the organization started—did you know the Orion family started the W.H.O. like forever ago? I’m interested in seeing if the Orion family is somehow connected with the hunter Orion from Greek mythology.”

  “All that’s in there?” Ethan asked.

  Jax smiled like he was just asked to recite the Gettysburg address. “Oh, yeah. Lots of stuff like hunter regulations, how the W.H.O. uses magic, even how to vanquish a witch.”

  “That’s all great,” Emmy said. “But we can’t have anything more to do with this until we call our parents out on it. We could get them or us in big trouble.”

  “Em, you can’t be serious,” Ethan argued. “What about the witches at school?”

  Emmy stood up, holding her book to her chest. “Avoid them. Don’t eat their food.” Ethan couldn’t believe what she was saying. This was Emmy, troublemaker extraordinaire, now she was being a chicken? “And let everyone else digest that stuff? Em, they are putting a potion in the food. That’s bad.”

  “You don’t know that for sure. They could be helping kids get better nutrition. It could be a good thing.”

  “When have you ever read a fairytale about a witch that did something good? They could be like the witches in Hansel and Gretel! They could be fattening us all up so they can coat us in butter and cook us in the ovens at school.”

  “Or maybe they just want kids to eat better. Oh, wait, do they fly into the cafeteria in giant bubbles? You know like Glinda in the Wizard of Oz?” Emmy laughed and it only made Ethan angrier. She was being idiotic. This wasn’t a joke. Why couldn’t she see that they had to do something about this now?

  “Ethan, maybe she’s right,” Jax said. “Maybe we should wait until your parents get home. At least they would know what they’re doing. We’re just kids.”

  They both looked at Ethan waiting for him to agree but he didn’t want to. He couldn’t just wait until his parents got back. What if they took longer? Like weeks or something? What if they never came back at all? The last thought brought a pang of worry to his stomach. As much as he wanted to shout at his parents for keeping all this a secret, he wanted them to return home. He needed them to.

  “Fine,” Ethan said. “I won’t come back down here until Mom and Dad get home.”

  Emmy smiled, cradling her book like a baby, and headed for the door. “Come on then. Let’s just forget about all this until then. I want to get back to dancing.”

  Jax closed the window with the picture of the lunch lady and got up from the computer. He headed after Emmy. Ethan looked back at the room once more. It was a room dedicated to hunting and capturing witches. It was his family’s business. He’d promised Emmy that he wouldn’t come back down here but he never said he wouldn’t do something about the witches at school. Someone had to do something, and he was an Orion after all.

  Chapter Ten: The Bully’s Revenge

  Ethan struggled to fall asleep. He couldn’t get the images of what he’d seen out of his head. Moreover, the feeling of betrayal sat in the pit of his stomach like a rock. His parents had kept their secret from him—a huge secret. They’ve been lying to us for years, for as long as I’ve been alive. He had hoped they’d call that night but they didn’t. What would they say anyway? More lies to cover the truth? The family business wasn’t even a business. It was a group of bounty hunters.

  Did he really want to grow up chasing after hags on broomsticks for the rest of his life? The knot inside him tightened and then loosened at the intriguing thought. Any other kid would probably make an awesome witch hunter—but not him. Ethan suspected the reason his parents never told them about being witch hunters was because they thought he’d never be up for the task. Ethan Orion—the family’s most disappointing member. Let’s be honest, you’re kind of a wimp. Who needs a wimp on a team full of trained witch hunters?

  The sick feeling in his stomach grew. He rolled over, trying to shut the negative thoughts from his mind. He thought back to all the times his mother had held him like a fragile doll. Even the night before they left, she’d acted like he was on the verge of breaking. The encounter with Robbie Maser had proven to them he was no good in a combat situation. They never told him about the family business because they didn’t want him to be a part of it. Their son was too fragile. One look from a witch would probably melt him.

  Ethan flipped his pillow over and gave it a few hard slugs. He could fight witches. He’d stood up to Robbie, right? Actually, you got smacked down. Ethan ignored his inner doubt. Images swirled behind his eyelids—hundreds of photos he’d seen of witches. Beautiful ladies with predatory eyes—sharp and feline. What was so scary about a bunch of pretty lunch ladies? I can take on a bunch of Betty Crockers—can’t I?

  That’s it! If he vanquished the witches at school, he’d prove to his parents he was capable of being a witch hunter. Mom and Dad wouldn’t look at him like a piece of fine china anymore; they’d stand proud.

  A smile creased his face as the knot unlaced inside him. He’d have to keep his plan secret from Emmy. She wanted to wait until their parents got back, but he knew what she really meant: this will interfere with my dance routine. He’d reluctantly agreed to wait for his parents, but this was his chance to prove his worth. Emmy had always been the strong one. He needed his parents to see that in him, too. With a newfound determination, and without any more struggling, Ethan fell asleep and slept well.

  ***

  The next morning, he broke his promise and snuck back over to the secret lair before anyone woke up. He swept up the W.H.O. handbook and stuffed it into his backpack. Jax had found a section in it last night on how to vanquish a witch. He’d study the handbook as if his life depended on it. Ethan returned to the Washingtons undetected.

  Ethan and Emmy had stayed at the Washington’s a lot, but never on a Sunday. Unlike the Orion house, where it was just another lazy day away from school and work, the Washingtons were devoted church-goers. A gospel choir played on the radio when Ethan entered the kitchen. Breakfast was laid out on the counter, a mixture of pancakes and waffles. Ethan’s stomach growled. He reminded himself how lucky he was to be staying with Jax. His normal Sunday breakfast consisted of cold cereal, if he was lucky.

  “Now, we’re planning on going to church today, but you and Emmy are welcome to stay here. We’ll only be gone for a couple hours.” Mama J said as she loaded up a plate for Ethan. “I’m sure Jaxson wouldn’t mind the company in Sunday school, but it’s your choice.”

  Ethan nodded, not knowing what he should say. If he didn’t go to church
, he could spend the time reading the W.H.O. handbook. He was sure God wouldn’t mind him researching how to destroy a witch instead of going to Sunday school. He took his plate from Mama J and sat down at the table.

  Soon, a sleepy Emmy and a well-dressed Jax sat next to him.

  “You coming with me to church?” Jax stuffed a whole pancake in his mouth.

  “I don’t know. I was thinking of staying here and doing some reading.”

  Emmy snorted her milk. “Reading? You’re joking, right?”

  “What? Can’t someone want to just curl up with a book without it being a joke?”

  Jax swallowed his mouthful of food and cleared his throat. “Dude, if you don’t wanna come, that’s fine. But it’s normally pretty cool. They don’t just talk about Heaven and angels and all that. A lot of it is history and stuff. You know, cool stuff.”

  Leave it to Jax to find some way to incorporate history into religion. Ethan swallowed a swig of orange juice.

  “Oh, you’re right, Ethan,” Emmy giggled. “Maybe reading a book would be better than getting a history lesson.”

  Jax looked hurt. “It’s not like that. Our teacher is pretty cool. You know Hannah’s dad?”

  “Hannah’s dad is the teacher? Is she in your class?” Ethan could hear the enthusiasm in Emmy’s voice.

  Jax stuffed another pancake in his mouth, nodding. “Yeah.”

  “Count me in, then! You’ll need to come too, Ethan. We can’t have you staying here alone. You might blow up the kitchen or something.”

  There goes my study time, Ethan thought, helping himself to another waffle. Then again, spending some time with Hannah wasn’t a bad idea. Ethan liked her.

  ***

  Sunday passed without a single second for Ethan to look over the W.H.O. handbook. “The Sabbath” it seemed, was filled with nothing but family activities at the Washington’s. First came church, then a picnic in the park, followed by board games, then a movie. Not that it wasn’t fun, but Ethan had a school to save. Sometimes having a family that did nothing together sucked, but it could be good when witches were taking over.