When You Make It Home

by Claire Ashby

  Dad opened his mouth, ready to give it to me, but Hazel put her hand on his knee. He smiled at her, reached for both cups, and said, “Why don’t we take this to the bench out front and enjoy the fresh air.”

  “We need to talk, Dad.”

  “I’m with Hazel now. We’ll talk later.”

  “Talk to her, Mike,” Hazel said. “I’ll go keep the bench warm.” She left without giving Dad a chance to stop her.

  “What’s the problem, Meg?”

  “What are you doing hanging out here and leaving Nina home alone?” I kept my voice level with effort. “At least give her a call.”

  “I’m not ready to go home yet. I’m having fun with my kids.”

  “At Nina’s expense?” I didn’t want to know the truth, but I couldn’t drop it. “What’s with all the attention on Hazel? She’s ten years older than you.”

  “Hazel needs a friend. Being alone is hard.”

  “Like I don’t know that!” I said.

  “What is this really about? You have never been alone.”

  “Be careful, Dad. She’s not your friend. She’s my employee.”

  “She’s both.”

  “Nina’s alone.”

  “Listen up, little girl. Nina can take care of herself.” He spoke softly, but when he called me “little girl,” it only meant one thing: His temper was rising. “I’ve respected your privacy, Meg, and you will respect mine. You’re being a hypocrite, pointing your finger at me with Hazel and questioning how I treat my wife. Let’s talk about the mess surrounding you. Should I count the men I see? Have I asked you to explain?”

  “Dad!”

  “I don’t ask, because I don’t need to know. I’ll call Nina. Don’t trouble yourself with it.” He pushed past me out of the office. “And don’t be so hard on Hazel. She’s a nice lady.”

  I went to the office and shut the door. What was my world coming to? Nina and I had bonded for the first time after twenty years together, and my dad was pissed off at me. No sooner did I sit down than my phone rang.

  Ellie’s number showed on the caller ID. “What’s up?”

  “Come over as soon as you can,” she said in a rush, her tone light and giddy. “I have something to show you.”

  “Okay, on my way.” I grabbed my purse. A visit with Ellie would ground me after all the craziness of the last twenty-four hours. Or so I thought.

  Jake was home, so I knocked instead of letting myself in. A woman in a maid’s costume opened the door. The tall woman, built like a refrigerator, wore a black, knee-length dress with puffy sleeves and a white apron. Her skin was the color of melted caramel and looked soft everywhere except on her pink, chapped hands.

  “Can I help you, ma’am?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’m here to see Ellie.”

  The woman pulled out a walkie-talkie. “Mrs. Ellie, you have company.”

  “Thank you, Marta. Send her back,” Ellie’s voice crackled through the walkie-talkie.

  I followed the woman back. We passed the kitchen, where Jake sat reading the newspaper, toast in one hand, fork digging into an omelet in the other hand. I smiled at him, and he winked back.

  “This breakfast rocks, Marta. Thank you,” he said, waving his toast like the flag of victory.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Please call me Jake.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said again.

  After she left me with Ellie, I shut the door.

  “Where did you find her?”

  “Nina sent her! I told Marta she could wear sweats to work, but she insists she wants to wear the uniform. She’s amazing! Can you believe Nina did that?”

  “No way.” How did Nina arrange it so fast?

  “I called to thank her, and she made me promise to stay in bed. She said Marta will do all my nesting for me.” Excitement pinked up Ellie’s cheeks. “She’s cooking for my Jake, too. I might never get out of bed again.”

  “Why is Nina nicer now that she’s not with Dad?”

  “It’s a competitive thing. She’s taking care of us, since she can’t take care of him.”

  “Oh, you’re right,” I said. “I wish he’d quit being stupid and go home.”

  “You’re tired of him?”

  “No, Nina’s a mess without him. This is all getting too weird.”

  “Soon it will be over.” Ellie rubbed her belly.

  “No, soon it will all begin,” I replied and then added: “Did Theo call again?”

  “No.” Her smile faded. “But Jake talked with him.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “Nothing, except that they talked,” she said. “Don’t ask him about it either. He didn’t want me to tell you, but Jake knows we don’t keep secrets.”

  “Why won’t Theo call me?”

  “He’s trying to get better, Meg.”

  “Oh, and I guess I get in the way of that.”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “You don’t have to. Why can’t my heart hear what my brain is screaming? I won’t ask about Theo again. He knows where to find me.” I sighed with frustration. “I have to go get Jason. We have our first Lamaze class this afternoon.”

  “Oh, I’m so jealous of you.”

  “That’s warped. I’m longing for a man who walked out on me, while I’m taking another woman’s husband to Lamaze, and you’re jealous.”

  “At least one of them is the baby’s daddy,” Ellie said.

  “Don’t remind me.”

  Jason got into Lamaze way more than I did. At the end of class, Jason pulled out his phone to switch the ringer back on. “Twenty-eight calls. Oh shit. Guess who’s at Steve’s house? She’s dropping the kids off. Drive fast.”

  Jason called his wife and told her he was on the way, but it took us another eighteen minutes to get back to Steve’s house. She’d kept everyone strapped into car seats with the air conditioner on full blast. Her black hair flew back from her face, which wore an angry expression.

  She was at my door before I got the car into park. “You did this on purpose!” She screeched.

  No one in his or her right mind would get out of a car with that bear scratching at the window.

  “Jason, do something,” I pleaded.

  He was scared to get out of the car, too. “Babe, you kicked me out, remember?”

  “I didn’t say go bang your ex!” She charged around the car to his door and yanked it open, while he scrambled to lock it. She clawed at his shirt and dragged him out of the car. “I expected you to grovel your way back in, not romp around in your past!”

  “I didn’t mean to get her pregnant, babe,” he said. “I love you, I miss you.” Jason fell to his knees. “I’ll grovel. Take me back.” Then to my horror, he burst into tears, sobbing on her feet, his hands wrapping around her ankles.

  “Get up—you make me sick! Get your kids out of the van, now!” She stomped away. “I need a break. I’ll be back for them in a week… if you’re lucky.” She got in her seat, shut the door, and fired up the car. The kids filed out and scrambled for the porch. I got out of the car to help Jason. Pathetic and wrecked, he joined us on the porch.

  As Jason’s wife pulled away, she honked.

  “Hey, Meg,” she yelled.

  I looked back.

  “Your ass is huge!” She gave me the finger and burned rubber all the way down the street.

  So much for all the years I’d spent imagining their fairy-tale romance.

  In the house, the kids huddled in the living room. Jason was missing.

  “Hi guys. I’m Meg.”

  Two rambunctious little boys moved around the room faster than cockroaches running from light.

  “Are you replacing Mommy?” a pale, skinny girl wi
th dark curls and a sharp chin asked.

  “Shut up, Poppy,” snapped the boy version of her.

  “I’m a friend of your dad. Do you know where he went?” I wasn’t about to march through his side of the drama on my own.

  Poppy scrambled after her little brothers. The boys figured out that she was trying to herd them, and they split up, running in different directions.

  “Jay, help me,” Poppy demanded.

  “Let them run.” The oldest boy shrugged.

  While Poppy went up the steps to grab the one little boy, I followed the other to the kitchen. Jason was at the table crying, with his head in his arms. The little boy charged him.

  “Daddy! Daddy!” he cried. “Boo-boo, Daddy? Boo-boo? Kiss it, kiss it. Lemme kiss it, Daddy.”

  “Which one are you?” He pulled the little one onto his lap.

  The child babbled an answer.

  “Basil, Daddy’s all better.” Jason tousled the little boy’s hair. “Daddy misses Basil.”

  The other three children stormed into the kitchen.

  “Okay, here’s my crew. You’ve met Basil.” He pointed to the twin in the girl’s arms. “That’s Sage, with my daughter Poppy, and our oldest.” He pointed to the gangly boy. “That’s Jay. Give Daddy a hug.”

  The boy ignored him at first and then plunged into his dad’s arms. Jay looked much younger than eight, sitting on his father’s lap with his face buried into Jason’s neck.

  My brother called from the front door, and I excused myself.

  “Steve,” I said, coming out to the front room. Chelsea walked in behind him. “Oh, hi.” I had to get used to her being with him all the time. The only way I had a minute alone with Steve was at work. “Jason’s wife dropped off his kids for the week.”

  “A whole week?” Steve asked. “All four of them? Are you kidding me?”

  “All four.”

  “This isn’t going to work.”

  “Please, Steve? I’ll help.”

  “It could be fun,” Chelsea said, reminding me how she was a friend who would try almost anything in the name of a good time. She walked toward the kitchen, and they followed her like little baby ducks.

  “Hello, hello,” she called as she went through the door.

  She caught the eye of one of the twins. “Shiny,” he said.

  “Mine,” the other little boy said, and as they clamored to her, Chelsea sat on the floor taking them into her arms. They pulled on her necklaces and bracelets, and when one boy tugged on her chandelier earring, she removed it and handed it to him.

  Poppy walked over and sat next to Chelsea, too.

  “My name is Chelsea,” she said, taking off a string of colorful beads and putting them on the girl. “Can we be friends?”

  Poppy smiled. “You’re pretty,” she said, staring.

  “You are too.”

  Steve watched Chelsea, and I knew he wasn’t going to kick Jason and his kids out. He wasn’t going to let Chelsea go, either. My brother was going to break out of his cycle, and I needed to do the same.

  I missed Theo horribly, but I had to let go. I couldn’t fix my relationship with Theo, but maybe I could help save the relationships around me. I needed to get Dad back with Nina, but first I needed to help Jason get home to his wife—not only for his kids, but for my daughter as well. There had to be some way to make it right for all of us.

  “How about if I order pizza for dinner?” I stood in the corner, calling in the order, when Dad came in. He laughed as he walked through the door.

  “Come on in,” he said to someone behind me. I held my breath. Maybe I wouldn’t have to intervene with him and Nina after all. But in walked Hazel.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  “You can’t be here.” I blocked her entrance. Once Hazel became entrenched in the house, we might never be able to get rid of her, like cockroaches.

  “It’s okay,” Dad said. “I invited her to join us.”

  “No, absolutely not. This is a conflict of interest.” It would be the end of the world if Dad and Hazel hooked up. The end of the world.

  “Nonsense, Meg. Friends among family is not a conflict of interest.”

  One of the twins ran out and went straight for Hazel.

  “Grandma!” he squealed and clutched her leg.

  Jay barged out of the kitchen after the little guy. “That’s not Grandma,” he said as he removed his little brother from Hazel’s leg. “Sorry.”

  Hazel’s whole demeanor melted with the small child’s attention. As far as I knew, she had no grandchildren—or children, for that matter. That was Hazel for you. I decided to cut her some slack.

  “Well, you might as well stay, I guess. Dinner’s on its way, and we’ll have plenty.”

  “Thank you, Meg.” Hazel seemed grateful, but then she turned back to Dad and slipped her arm around his waist.

  Give Hazel an inch, she tries to do my father.

  I waited for him to wiggle away, but he draped his arm casually across her shoulders. I wanted to throw up. I went back to hanging out with Jason’s kids. His children were a part of my daughter’s family. They carried secrets that my baby wouldn’t reveal until birth.

  After pizza, I found Steve alone in the kitchen. He stood peering out the window over the kitchen sink, drinking a beer. “What’s up?” he asked, not looking at me.

  “Did you really tell Nina she could help out with the Brooke and Bella event?” Watching Dad and Hazel get cozy was making my head spin. After the awkward bonding time Nina and I had shared, I didn’t want to give Dad a chance to rub it in her face that he was moving on. Hazel had some kind of cougar spell over him.

  Steve shrugged. “Sure. Nina’s got connections, and the reality stars have sent us a list of what they expect to have available to them. Her offer to help couldn’t have come at a better time. Have you reviewed the Brooke and Bella itinerary?”

  Steve turned to face me and scowled at the blank look on my face.

  “I hope you’re keeping up with your end of things.” He downed the rest of his beer and tossed it in the trash. “And here you are questioning whether we should accept help.”

  “Give me a freaking break! Can you not give me an ounce of compassion? I’m pregnant, and I’m tired, and I’m doing the best I can!”

  He followed me as I stormed down the hall. Dad stood up, leaving Hazel still sitting on the sofa. “No, Dad, that’s okay. You sit with Hazel. But could you please just call your wife back? She loves you, and quite frankly, you owe her a phone call.”

  I grabbed my purse and stumbled toward the door. “Wait, you know what?” I turned and faced Steve, Dad, Hazel, Chelsea, and Jason, giving them each a pointed look. “You are my people.” My voice trembled. “I need your support right now. I need calm in my life. Can you guys respect what I’m going through without always passing judgment on me? Please?” I waddled out into the night.

  “Wait!” Jason came after me. “Don’t blame yourself, kid,” he said, using his old nickname for me. “We’ll get through this together.” He placed a hand on my belly.

  I pulled back. “Go home, and make things right with your wife.”

  He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his well-worn jeans. “She won’t forgive me. She’s jealous of you.”

  “Me? But you left me for her. You chose her.”

  “Meg, I saw you both for a while. You didn’t know, but she did.” Finally, he told the truth. “I didn’t break up with you until she told me she was pregnant. She’s bitter I didn’t end it sooner.”

  “Can you blame her?” I was so irritated with him. “Jason, she has to wonder who you’d be with if she hadn’t gotten pregnant.”

  He sighed. “I still wonder the same thing.”

  “Oh God! You are stupid! Don
’t ever say that again. Call her, and tell her you’ll do whatever she wants. Tell her she’s always been your true love. Make her believe, if you want her to take you back. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home, making some chamomile tea, and putting up my swollen feet.”

  I got in the car and slammed the door. Jason stood there, looking confused and dejected. If I’d asked him to come home with me, I bet he would have. I guessed that, for some people, the hardest part of making a choice was sticking with it. Then I thought of Theo. He didn’t have any trouble sticking to his choices.

  I headed for my home, and for once, I was glad it would be empty.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  The day of the baby shower rose hot and clear.

  I followed Nina’s instructions and showed up two hours early. She had a team of people decorating the house in pink and blue and yellow. When I walked into Ellie’s bedroom, Ellie was mid-haircut and getting her toes painted at the same time.

  Nina walked in, carrying two garment bags. “Wait till you see the dresses I picked for you girls.”

  The baby shower signaled the end of pregnancy, and my life was more unsettled than ever. I had yet to venture into the baby’s room. I couldn’t go in there. Once the baby came, I would have to look, but until then I had no reason to enter.

  I took two steps back and ran my hands down the perfectly nice, black empire-waist dress I wore. Nina picked up on my reluctance to see the dress she’d brought me.

  “I did everything I could to make this a big day for you,” Nina whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “I have a surprise for you, but first you should put this on.” Nina unzipped the garment bag and pulled out a flowing, hot-pink dress. “Oh, try it on,” she cooed. “If you don’t want to wear it, I won’t be mad.” I took in her eager expression and confident smile.

  “Thank you.” I grabbed the dress and headed for the bathroom. Hot pink was not my usual color, but when I put it on, I felt joy instantly. Yes, it screamed party dress, but it also hugged me in a way that said, “I love my body.” And with the dress on, I did love my body. To Nina’s credit, she had also picked out a delicate pair of flip-flops.