Holding You

by Jewel E. Ann

  “Shh …” I pressed my lips to his.

  He didn’t kiss me back at first. Then I bit his lower lip and sucked it into my mouth. He moaned and opened up to me. Our tongues explored each other until I pulled back. Taking my time, I unbuttoned his white shirt. After the last button was released, I nudged him and he rolled to his back. His eyes followed me, dark and hungry. I brushed my lips all over his chest, tracing every detailed muscle with my tongue. Then I inched lower just at the top of his jeans; his shallow breath hitched. His tense abs almost quivered as I unbuttoned his jeans, keeping my eyes locked on his. He parted his lips and as I unzipped his pants he took a deep swallow. When I tugged at the legs of his pants, he lifted his hips and I pulled them from his body. Standing in front of him, I pulled my fitted sweater over my head letting it drop to the floor as my long, wavy blonde locks drifted down my back and across my chest. He sat up leaning back on his elbows. It drove me crazy as he slowly, almost unconsciously, wet his lips with the tip of his tongue as I shimmied out of my skinny jeans, exposing my white lace boyshort panties that matched my demi bra. With slow calculated motion, I moved over him until I straddled him. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me. His mouth sucking and licking every inch of my neck, I leaned my head back arching into him giving him complete access. One of his hands fisted the hair flowing down my back. His other hand slipped under my lace panties, palming and squeezing my butt. A throbbing heat took over my sex as my panties soaked with my hunger for him.

  “Oh—” I breathed out as we rubbed against each other.

  The thin layer of his cotton and my lace were all that separated our desperate ardor. The slow sensual tease of being so close but not able to completely penetrate was so erotic. He unclasped my bra and I sat up high on my knees so his face was even with my chest. His eyes raised to mine for a brief moment of unspoken desire and love before he pulled the shoulder straps off letting my bra fall to the bed. His left hand moved to my back, pushing me firmly to him, as his right hand cupped my breast and his tongue casually circled my hardened nipple. I hugged his head into me.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  He stopped and put his hands on my hips. I lowered to sit on his legs. I took one of his hands and unbuttoned his cuff then switched to the other side. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders as he shrugged his arms out. Then I looked at him as my hands moved to rest on his chest. “I do, I love you. I now understand why my heart is still beating.”

  His brows tensed and I felt his sympathy, but I didn’t want it. I just wanted his love. Rising to my knees again, I kissed him with everything I had. He slid his thumbs under the lace of my panties and pushed them down as we rolled to the side so I could lift my legs out of them. I worked at pushing his boxer briefs down as well. He hitched my top leg over his hip, pulling me closer, until his hard length was buried in me. Our hips started to move as we looked deep into each others eyes, occasionally closing them for brief moments to absorb the sensations building between us. We were making love and it was intimate and emotional. Our mouths connected and moved in perfect harmony with our hips. I loved the sensuality of his body melding into mine. Everything about it was erogenous: his mouth claiming mine; his firm chest pressed to mine; rubbing against my sensitive nipples; his hands exploring every curve; and his firm cock thrusting so deep he was nearly tapping on my womb. He found his release first but continued to move inside of me while he moved his hand to massage my swollen clit, pulling me over the edge to meet him. Our foreheads connected as we fought for breath.

  “You were made … just for me,” he declared between ragged breaths.

  My response was immediate, simple, and certain. “Yes.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters … But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you choose. But get drunk.”

  ~Charles Baudelaire

  THE NEXT FEW months defined bliss. I volunteered at several animal shelters, the culinary school, local soup kitchens, and my favorite: Quinn’s office. His personal assistant requested a short leave of absence to deal with some family matters so he asked me to assist him. I assisted him on the sofa in his office in more ways than seemed possible. I assisted him on his desk, his chair, the door to his office, his private bathroom counter, the large windows overlooking the city, and the elevator in his building. In my free time I did take some calls and schedule a few appointments. I even accompanied him on several business trips which added the mile high club to my resumé.

  We had three weekend getaways with Zach and Eden snowboarding and skiing. Quinn and Zach were content staying on the slopes from sunrise to sunset. However, by early afternoon, Eden and I found drinking wine by the roaring fire in the lodge was the best way to warm our chilled bodies. Massages, manicures, and pedicures were usually included to pass time while the “boys” played.

  In mid March we went to Chicago for a meeting. He suggested we stay with his sister, but I wasn’t thrilled about that idea. Alexis was still close friends with Olivia, and although she swore to Quinn that she was fine with our relationship, I always sensed otherwise when we were with her. A position for Evan had opened up at Richard’s law firm in late February, so they wasted no time packing up and moving back to Chicago. They bought a beautiful house about a mile from the marina where my parents surprised me with The Sage. When Mac and Evan decided to move back to Chicago I had The Sage transported back as well.

  “Maybe we could stay with Mac and Evan,” I suggested on the short flight to Chicago.

  “Alexis thinks we’re staying with her, and it’s just for one night so what’s the big deal?”

  I hesitated for a moment. “I don’t think Alexis likes me and I am a little uncomfortable around her.”

  “Nonsense. You know she’s fine with us being together.”

  I nodded but it didn’t ease my apprehension. “Maybe I could stay with Mac and you could stay with your sister.”

  “What? That’s ridiculous. Why would we not stay together? It would look like we’re fighting or something, and besides, I’ve been spoiled having you with me.”

  “You said it yourself, it’s just one night. I haven’t seen Mac’s place since I helped them move.”

  “Well, you can go see them during the day then you can get your ass back to my sister’s for dinner and …” Sitting opposite of me, he leaned forward and moved his hand up my leg suggestively.

  “We’re not screwing around at your sister’s house.” I pushed him away.

  “Why not?” He looked surprised.

  “Because her guest room is right next to the kids’ rooms and neither one of us is very quiet. However, Mac and Evan don’t have kids yet and their guest room is on the other side of the house from the master bedroom.” I raised my eyebrows hoping he would be persuaded.

  “You drive a hard bargain, Miss Brecken.”

  “If we stay at Mac’s I’ll be driving your hard bargain.” I slipped my shoe off and moved my foot between his legs curling my toes around his bulge.”

  He glanced at his watch. “Call her and tell her we’ll be there within the hour.”

  “Thank you, babe.” I went to remove my foot but he grabbed it and held it next to his firm erection.

  “We don’t start our descent for about twenty minutes, and I think you know actions speak louder than words, baby. So just how much do you really thank me?”

  Quinn got a thorough thanking before we landed; so much that he was in need of a shower but he opted for a quick wash up in the bathroom and a change of clothes before Eddie took us to Mac and Evan’s.

  “I love the way you negotiate.” He smiled while texting his sister about our change of plans.

  “I learned from the master.” I leaned in and kissed his neck. “What time is your meeting this afternoon?”

  “Three. I should be done by five, so check with Mac and Evan and decide where you want to go for dinner.”

  “Actually, Mac and Evan a
lready made plans to go to Richard and Gwen’s for dinner. I told them not to cancel on our behalf, so it will just be the two of us. Besides, there’s something I want to discuss with you.”

  He gave me a concerned look. “Is something wrong?”

  “Nope, I just have an idea I want to run by you.”

  “What is it?”

  “Not here. We’ll be there soon and I don’t want be interrupted.”

  He still held his concerned look but finally nodded and went back to messing with his phone.

  When we arrived at Mac and Evan’s, Mac gave us a quick tour before Quinn had to head off to his meeting.

  Evan was still at work so we had some girl time on her three season porch with hot tea.

  “Have you talked to Quinn about moving yet?” Mac sipped her tea.

  “Not yet, that’s what my plan is tonight. I thought being in the city might make it more imaginable and hopefully realistic.”

  “What are you going to do if he flat out says no?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “He won’t, even if he doesn’t want to he won’t close the door on the subject. He’s told me too many times he’d do anything for me.” I set my tea on the coffee table and curled my legs under myself.

  “I hope you’re right. Have you decided what you’re going to do with your—”

  I cut her off. “No, not yet. I won’t sell it until I see it one more time, but I’m not ready to see it. Maybe if Quinn agrees to my suggestion it will prompt me to deal with it sooner versus later.”

  *

  Quinn arrived back at the house a few minutes before Evan returned home. We all talked for about an hour before Mac and Evan left for dinner at Richard and Gwen’s.

  “I’m surprised Richard and Gwen didn’t invite us to dinner too. If they’re like family to you, I assumed they’d want to meet your guy,” he questioned while we changed clothes for dinner.

  “I’m sure they want to meet you, but I assume they had other people invited, maybe from the firm. You’ll meet them eventually,” I answered casually while brushing my hair and putting on my makeup.

  What I didn’t share was the fact that they didn’t know we were in town and Mac and Evan were not going to share that information either. I knew I was putting off the inevitable with several important matters, and that little introduction was one of them.

  “I have another meeting here next month, so maybe we can plan ahead and have dinner with them.”

  “Maybe,” I answered from the bedroom as I slipped on my dress.

  Quinn picked the restaurant. It was quiet and intimate but not too over the top expensive. I even ordered a glass of wine, which I hadn’t had in months, but I thought a little liquid courage was necessary.

  “Well, what is it you wanted talk to me about?” he asked between bites of his salad.

  I tapped the rim of my wine glass with my fingernails. “About Chicago.”

  “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.” Quinn laughed.

  “I’d like to move back to Chicago sometime in the near future.”

  His eyes shot to mine with a grave look of concern. “Are you leaving me?”

  “What? No, I’m not leaving you. I want us to move to Chicago.” I tried to keep my voice at an acceptable level.

  “Addy, you know I can’t just pick up and leave my business behind.”

  “You could move your offices to Chicago. Other than some business meetings, your offices just serve to house your employees during the work day while everyone attends to business not only in New York but throughout the world. Does the location really matter?”

  He leaned forward to stress his point without drawing attention. “It does to my employees who live in New York with their families. They have lives there and kids in school. Money aside, they might not be too anxious to uproot and move to Chicago because the boss’ … whatever you are … doesn’t want to live in New York.”

  “Whatever I am?” My voice was low but strained as I leaned toward him in a challenging gesture.

  “You know what I mean, Addy. We’re more than friends but you’re not my wife and girlfriend sounds too juvenile. That’s not the point anyway.”

  He sighed as he sat back, his voice calmer as he grabbed my hand on the table. “Addy, I’m not saying never, I’m just saying not now. If this happens, things will have to be planned out, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Are you that miserable in New York?”

  “No, of course not. I love being with you, but you work a lot of hours and travel regularly, which I understand. I grew up in Chicago and while it holds a lot of sad memories it will always be home to me.” I laughed lightly. “I spent most of my childhood dreaming or counting down the days until I would leave the Midwest. I wanted mountains and oceans. I wanted to be where the action was; I wanted to be part of the trendsetters. New York would not have been my first choice, but at the time it undoubtedly made the top five. My mom downplayed the excitement of living near the coast. It felt like she was trying to squash my dreams. She told me to bloom where I was planted. That’s why, after she died, this flower didn’t move out of her ‘hardiness zone.’ I miss Mac, and I know she and Evan are going to start a family soon and their kids will feel like my family. It’s comforting knowing my friend is a short drive away.”

  His forehead wrinkled as he squinted his eyes. “I thought you and Eden had become friends. You do yoga together, go out to lunch, shopping––”

  “We are friends, and you introducing us was a lifesaver for me. I love having a girlfriend to hangout with. I’m going to miss seeing her as often if or when we move. But this is my home and Mac is my family.”

  I was being honest. Eden was young and full of contagious energy. We could talk for hours about anything. She didn’t make me feel unworthy of Quinn like Olivia and Alexis, and I didn’t have to picture her in bed with him or playing the spoiled little sister card. However, she didn’t know me like Mac and she never would.

  A sad smile pulled at his mouth. “I understand, Addy, I do. Now is just not the right time, okay?”

  I felt dismissed and even a little angry. At the same time I also felt ashamed that I hadn’t given much thought to Quinn’s employees and the logistics that went along with him moving to Chicago. Maybe I sounded selfish but the truth was I felt like I deserved to be a little selfish. Giving is better than receiving; I had been a giver for so long, doing what other people expected of me, but it felt like my time to receive, even if just a little.

  By the time we got back to Mac and Evan’s, they were already there. They must have made up an excuse to leave early.

  “So … how was dinner?” Mac asked, but that wasn’t her real question. I could tell by the way she phrased it and by the look on her face, she was waiting for some big announcement about us moving to Chicago.

  I gave her an indiscreet shake of my head. “Dinner was fine. How about yours?”

  The disappointment in her eyes was evident, but she didn’t let on any further. “It was good, you know, blah, blah, blah, about Mom’s social schedule and the same with Dad and Evan’s shop talk.”

  Quinn hung up our coats then pressed his hand to the small of my back. “I have about and hour or so worth of work on my laptop that I need to get done. So if you all will excuse me, I’m going to head to the guest room and get started.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek before making his way down the hallway.

  “Tea? Wine? Both?” Mac offered.

  My brain said tea and then off to bed, but after my evening with Quinn, the one word that came out of my mouth was, “wine.”

  It wasn’t long before Evan headed off to bed too. Mac and I once again found ourselves on the porch wrapped in throw blankets with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I confessed my frustrations to her, and she did her best to play the impartial party, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she wanted me in Chicago as much as I wanted to be there. The first bottle of wine impaired my senses enough that I couldn’t s
ay no when Mac offered to open another bottle. We talked about everything, often falling into fits of laughter that were exacerbated by the alcohol. Before we knew it the clock read a quarter after midnight. My body was a warm mix of numbness and tingly sensations. Another side effect was a bad case of the giggles. Mac turned off the lights and stumbled in the opposite direction to her bedroom.

  I cracked open the door to the guest room and peeked in. Quinn was asleep and the room was pitch dark. I needed to brush my teeth, remove my make-up, and put on my pajamas. But the only thing I could think of was stripping down naked and having my way with Quinn. I fumbled with the zipper to my dress and bumped into the armoire.

  “Shit!” I whispered then followed it with a giggle.

  He stirred and eventually woke during my clumsy attempt to quietly undress. After finally winning the battle, I managed to remove my dress and bra but forgot about my panties as I crawled over the covers on top of Quinn.

  “What are you doing?” he whispered, voice groggy.

  “I’m se … duuu … cing you.” I giggled as I fought to pull the covers off him. “Remember, this is why we’re here.” I ran my nails down his chest.

  “What?” He was still trying to figure out what I was doing.

  I giggled again. “Youuu … know … if we would have stayed at your sister’s, no fun for my Quinny, but since we’re here we can fuck like bunnies.” My hand slipped under his boxer briefs and his partial erection hardened to one hundred percent. He must have thought it was a traitor because the rest of his body was saying no to me.

  “Addy, stop!” He pulled my hand out of his briefs.

  I giggled again. “Oh come on …” I scooted up so I straddled him then I rubbed and circled my pelvis over his strained erection.

  He grabbed my hips to stop me. “I said stop it!” His voice was still a whisper but it had a very serious edge to it.

  I leaned forward and smashed my mouth to his trying to force my tongue inside his mouth, but he grabbed my arms and pulled me off him, tossing me to my side of the bed.