My Real

by Mallory Grant

  We made it through our first date with Emerson in tow. After dinner, we went to the movies to see the latest Disney had to offer. Bailey seemed to have as great a time at the movies as Emerson did. I couldn’t persuade Bailey to spend the night with me again with Emerson in the house, but she did agree to come over for dessert. I dropped her off at her house so that she could get her car. Not the most ideal situation, but it meant I get to spend more time with her tonight so I’d take it.

  I give Emerson a bath after we shared a huge ice cream sundae with chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, hot sauce, and whipped cream that Bailey made for us. The woman knows her chocolate. Bailey is downstairs while I’m tucking Emerson in and saying prayers with her.

  “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Guide me through the starry night, and wake me with the morning light. God Bless Daddy, Mommy, and me. Oh, and God Bless Bailey, because she makes Daddy and me laugh. Amen.” She finishes her prayers and hugs me.

  “Emerson, do you like Bailey?” I ask her a little bit worried. Emerson is the most important person in my life and while she is just four, her opinion does matter a lot to me.

  “I like her a lot, Daddy.”

  “Would you mind if Bailey spent more time with us?” I tuck her in then kneel on the floor next to her.

  “Yes! She’s pretty and funny and silly and she can do my hair. Can she be my sister Daddy?”

  I try not to laugh, so I don’t hurt her feelings, “No Em, she can’t be your sister, but I’ll bet if you ask her, she will be your friend.”

  “I like that idea. I’ll ask her the next time I see her. I’m sleepy Daddy. No more talking,” she says as she puts her finger on my lips to quiet me. “Good night. I love you.” She says as she rolls over.

  “Good night sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back,” I whisper and kiss her forehead.

  I walk downstairs to find Bailey sitting on the swing on the back deck listening to Nora Jones on her iPhone. I sit down beside her, wrap my arm around her shoulder, and she puts her head on my shoulder.

  “Does she always go down that fast?” she asks me.

  “Yes, she has always been a good sleeper,” I answer.

  We sit quietly for a few minutes in comfortable silence.

  “So what did Ella have to say when you called her this afternoon?” I ask through a smile. Bailey looks up at me confused for a second then the pieces start fitting together.

  “She was a little surprised that I didn’t make it home until after two today. She was really surprised that we are out again tonight already. She is holding an intervention tomorrow at lunch while we write curriculum for school,” Bailey explains.

  “An intervention?” I ask surprised. “What kind of intervention?”

  “She said she just wanted me to go out and have some fun. Not to drop into a relationship the day I got divorced,” Bailey replies, slowly kicking off to swing again.

  “What did you tell her?” I ask, starting to get really worried. I was planning on having this conversation with her, but not so soon. I’m not sure she is ready to label this new relationship either.

  “I told her I’m sure the last thing you were thinking about was getting into a serious relationship right now,” she slowly replies. She looks like she isn’t too sure about her answer to my question or what my response will be. Was she worried that I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship, or that I would? I had to know.

  “Would it be a bad thing being in a relationship with me?” I ask. She looks like a deer in head lights. I decide to let her off the hook. “Bailey, I would love nothing more than for this to eventually go somewhere.” I say gesturing between us. “I know we are both just coming out of really bad marriages, but I don’t think we should let that stop us. Why should we continue to live unhappily because of the partners we chose so early in life?” I push her up and move my leg straight so she can sit against my chest between my legs.

  “It’s a very scary thought. I have been divorced for twenty-four hours now and you’re still technically married. My head keeps screaming at me to slow down. Are we being responsible jumping into something so soon? Dave is the only man I ever dated. If I couldn’t make that relationship work after being with someone for so long, who’s to say I can make this one last.” I start to run my fingers through her long silky hair.

  “Bailey, we are not twenty-one anymore. We’re adults who have both been through the wringer. We now know the things we need in a relationship. I know I need someone who will listen to me and respect my ideas. I know I need someone who will stand next to me if a problem arises, not behind me, pushing me ahead, waiting for me to fix it. I know I need someone who can love Emerson as much as I do. I know that you’re the person who can fulfill all of these things.” I pause for a second to let that sink in. I then continue, “You said your head is telling you to slow down. What is your heart telling you?”

  She pauses a moment and turns to look into my eyes. She brings her hand up to her heart and holds it there. “My heart tells me that I feel comfortable and safe in your arms. My heart tells me that you’re nothing like Dave, and I’ll be enough for you. It tells me I need let go of all my inhabitations or I may lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. My heart tells me to hold on and never let go.”

  “I think you should listen to your heart.”

  Bailey smiles that smile that melts my heart. That real smile I remember from the first time I saw her in college.

  “Bailey, can you honestly tell me you are ready to jump into a relationship with this guy?”

  Ella and I are sitting on her living room floor eating Chinese takeout and plugging though our teacher’s manuals. She has been rambling on now for over thirty minutes doing more talking than working. It is a fight every summer to make Ella do any work, especially this early in the summer.

  She sits there looking at me, waiting for an answer. I didn’t hear the last bit of her rant, so I’m not sure I know what to say to her.

  “Ella, listen. I’m not getting married tomorrow. I had more fun in the past twenty-four hours with the two of them than I’ve had in years.”

  “Two of them? Bailey! Is this about the little girl? Are you thinking this is your only chance to be a mother?” Ella questions sitting up straighter. She looks like she is about to pounce on me at any second depending on my answer.

  Now I’m going to have my say.

  “No, it has nothing to do with her. I just want to be happy. For years, I was miserable living with Dave.” I stand up frustrated and walk over to the kitchen to get another bottle of water. “I hadn’t laughed with Dave in months. Do you know that we stopped having sex a year before we got a divorce? Last night was the first time I had sex in over a year?” I sit back down next to her almost too embarrassed to continue. “Did you know you can have an orgasm just by a man going down on you? I didn’t because Dave never went down on me. Dave never gave me an orgasm.”

  “Holy shit, never? At least you’ve given yourself one,” Ella says. I just shake my head at her.

  “Wait a minute. Last night was the first time you’ve ever had an orgasm.” Ella’s mouth was agape in disbelief.

  “Yes, I’m starting to realize Dave didn’t care about me at all. In the past twenty-four hours, I have laughed until I cried, several times. I have had sex with Andrew several times. I have had multiple orgasms, in one session mind you,” I blush as Ella’s eyes got big. I continue hoping to calm both of our fears. “I’m taking this one day at a time. I don’t know what’s going to happen, so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.”

  “Okay, I get it. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I’m worried about you,” she says and after a pause, “multiple orgasms. Really?”

  We laugh and the subject is closed. The rest of the day, we finish our school work and then watch a movie while consuming a large amount of chocolate and wine.

  The next morning, as I’m dead asleep on Ella’s couch, I’m a
wakened by a loud relentless ringing in my left ear. Uggg. I need to change his text tone. That beeping is not going to cut it.

  Andrew: Good Morning Beautiful. How did the intervention go?

  What time is it? I sit up on the couch and stretch.

  Bailey: She said her piece, I said mine. Case closed. Why are you up so early? Do you know what time it is?!

  Andrew: Some of us still have to work in the summer. Not everyone has the luxury of sleeping in. Did I fare well at the conclusion of the intervention?

  Bailey: Hey, there’s a college not too far from us where you can get your teaching degree if you want your summers off. You faired very well.

  Andrew: No classroom for me. I’ll stick with my lab, thanks. Hey, I’m going to my lawyer’s after work today. Can I pick you up after that and take you out for real date? My mom has Emerson.

  A real date? Hmmmm.

  Bailey: A real date? Does that mean I have to wear real clothes?

  Andrew: Clothing is optional. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’m not sure how long it will take.

  Bailey: I’ll be ready.

  I go into the kitchen and pop a hot chocolate pod into the Keurig. I love staying over at Ella’s, because she keeps a supply of hot chocolate and whipped cream stocked just for me. I brew a cup of coffee for Ella when I hear her shuffling to the bathroom upstairs.

  “Why in the Hell is your phone ringing at this ungodly hour?” she asks through half closed eyes.

  “Andrew. I asked him the same question. Did you know that people actually work over the summer?” I laugh as I hand her a mug.

  “Hhhhhhhhh,” she gasps. “The Horror! Why would anyone do that?” She jokes as she takes a sip of her coffee. “So, what do you have planned for today?”

  “I’m going running. Wanna come?” I ask.

  “Fat chance. I wasn’t talking about your crazy need to exercise. I was talking about your plans with Lover Boy.”

  “He’s taking me on a real date tonight. Don’t roll your eyes at me. One day at a time.”

  I got everything on my to-do list done. Running, grocery shopping, laundry, and scrubbing the bathroom all done before lunch time. I’m on a roll today. I decide to take a look at my wardrobe to find something hot to wear for my date tonight. My closet is quite depressing. I have a lot of khaki pants in varying shades of tan and brown, my suit that I wore in my interview ten years ago, one pair of black dress pants, a collection of polos and baby t-shirts, and one matronly dress that I wear for Meet the Teacher night. The only other dress I have was Ella’s and I wore it last night. There is nothing date-worthy in my closet.

  I have to go shopping. I hate shopping. I think back to the last time I went to buy clothing.

  “Dave, are you home? Come see what I got.” I yelled into the next room when I heard Dave close the front door.

  “What did you get?” he answered with little interest.

  “Sit, I’ll do a runway show for you,” I told him as I ran into the bathroom. He sat on the bed scrolling though his phone as I walked out in my first outfit. He barely glanced up and then said, “Those pants make you have a muffin top. You need a baggier shirt to hide that you know.”

  I turned and looked in the mirror. I knew I had a few pounds to drop, but I didn’t think they were that bad. I debated trying the rest on for him. He looked like he was busy.

  “Do you want to see more?” I asked.

  “Whatever,” he mumbled.

  I went in and tried on the dress that I got and quickly returned to the bedroom so Dave could see it before he went downstairs. His eyes were still glued to his phone. I stood there a minute waiting for him to look up at me. I was so excited to see his reaction. I saw this dress at the store and thought of Dave immediately. His favorite color was blue. He used to say blue brought my eyes to life.

  When he still didn’t look up, “Dave?”

  “What, Bailey? Can’t you see I’m playing a game?” he snapped at me.

  “Sorry. I just wanted you to see this dress.” I hung my head and started to turn around. Maybe I’d show him later.

  “A dress? Why in the hell did you buy a dress? Where are you going to wear that?” he asked as he stood and left the room.

  I shake my head to forget the bad memory. One of many I wanted to put behind me.

  I wonder where that dress is.

  I pull up to Bailey’s house and there is a car I didn’t recognize in the drive way. The driver side door is just opening as I get out of my truck. I walk around the front of the truck and stop dead in my tracks.

  “Andrew, I didn’t know you and Bailey kept in touch,” Dave says with phony interest.

  Even though we spent a lot of time together in college, I never really liked Dave. I tolerated him at best. He was a douche. My feelings toward him may have had something to do with the fact that he was dating Bailey at the time.

  “What are you doing here, Dave?” I ask as I walk in front of him to block his path to Bailey’s house.

  “I was going to ask you the same question. You’re dating Bailey?” Dave laughs snidely.

  “I’m not sure how that’s any of your business. Let me repeat. What are you doing here?” I ask again getting a little more angry at his attitude.

  “I came to get my golf clubs out of the basement. Honestly, are you dating her?” he asks again with an amused look on his face.

  My hands are fisted at my sides. This asshole is going to pay if he doesn’t watch himself.

  “Let me give you some friendly advice. She’s as cold as a wet blanket. Run while you still can. Divorcing her was the best damn decision I’ve ever made.”

  That’s it. I stalk toward him in two steps while drawing my fist back and let it land directly on his left eye. He falls to the ground at the unexpected contact. I kneel down next to him and grab his shirt to pull him up to my face.

  “Let me explain something to you. You are never to step foot on this property again. You’re going to leave Bailey alone. If I ever hear you say something like that to anyone, I will personally make sure you have a bruised kidney to match your eye. Do you understand me asshole?”

  He shoves my hands away and stands up brushing off his pants. “What the Hell is your problem?”

  “I’ve heard the stories about the way you treated Bailey. I’m just letting you know that it’s done. You will never hurt her again,” I answer making sure he clearly understands the point I’m making.

  “Whatever man, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he answers over his shoulder as he walks back to his car.

  I sit on Bailey’s front step for a few minutes waiting for my heart rate to go down.

  The bell rings. He’s early. I look down at the white terry cloth robe I have wrapped around me with only my matching red lace lingerie under it.

  Crap.

  I walk down the stairs and open the door for Andrew.

  “Jeezus Bailey. What’re you doing to me?” Andrew asks as he walks in, wraps his arms around me, and pulls me in for a kiss. I can feel him start to untie the robe, then he puts his hands on my bare skin.

  “We are going to be late for our dinner reservations if I don’t go get dressed now,” I remind him.

  “I can think of other things to do instead of going out to eat,” he teases.

  I step away from him, debating my options. I give Andrew a sly smile and turn to go upstairs. I can hear that he is following a few steps behind me. I step up to my closet and pull out a pair of jeans, since that was what Andrew was wearing, and a baby doll T-shirt. Andrew is standing in the doorway, so I decide to put on a little show. I take a deep breath for courage and drop the bathrobe to the floor at my feet and glance over my shoulder.

  Andrew’s hands are on the doorjamb and his knuckles are turning white, but he doesn’t move from his spot. He is just there to watch me dress.

  That is so hot.

  I bend at my hips, step into my jeans, and very slowly pull them up until they are just over my bottom. I tur
n to face him and cock my hip to the side. He has one hand on his hardness. I take the black t-shirt and put it on my arms and lift them both over my head so the shirt slides down slowly into place. After adding a scarf, I step into my sandals while zipping my jeans, grab my sweater, and give Andrew a huge smile.

  “I’m ready.”

  I made a reservation at Anthony’s, a fancy Italian restaurant for dinner. The hostess seats us at our table in the back. Then, the waiter takes our drink order. I watch Bailey as she looks at the menu. This is just too good to be true. She has her hair in a low ponytail, and it is falling over her shoulders. She is just so damn beautiful.

  “This is nice. I’ve never been here,” Bailey says as she looks around. Her eyes stop on me, and she starts to say something and stops.

  “Bailey, you can ask me anything. I know you have questions,” I take her hand.

  “I don’t want to be nosy.”

  “It’s not being nosy. You have every right to know what happened at my lawyer’s today. I don’t want there to be any secrets from the two of us. I was serious when I said I want something more for us.”

  “Okay,” she smiles at me. “How did it go?”

  “He feels I have an air tight case against Jessica to get full custody of Emerson. I have kept a journal of everything that has happened since I caught her cheating on me.” Just then, the waiter comes up, delivers our drinks, and takes our orders for dinner. I continue after she walks away. “He is having papers drawn up for both a mutual consent divorce and a fault grounds divorce.”

  “Why both?” She questions while pouring the oil and herbs onto her plate for her bread.