Baby's Breath (Garden of Love 2)

by Melanie Wilber

“No, but if you let me drive us, you can show me.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “Have fun, baby,” Josie said. Tommy wiggled out of her arms and ran toward his teammates in the middle of Lincoln Field. Parking had been a problem today and had made them a little late, but the game hadn’t started yet.

  Carrying her blanket under one arm and her water bottle in her hand, Josie walked toward Patrick, Faith, and the girls whom she had already spotted. Spreading out her blanket, she sat down and took a long drink of the semi-cool water.

  “Did you know he was bringing someone?” Faith asked.

  Josie lowered her bottle from her lips, surprised by her sister-in-law’s bluntness. “Does it matter?”

  “I don’t know,” Faith replied, lifting her right brow. “Does it?”

  “I don’t see why,” she said with more confidence than she felt.

  Faith didn’t respond, at least not with words. Seeing Brandon returning from the concession stand with a large drink cup in one hand and a licorice rope in the other, she avoided Faith’s silent stare.

  “I’m glad he came,” Josie said instead. She smiled and waved to Brandon. She caught his attention, and he walked toward her. At his side was Allison, looking beautiful and smiling broadly. They made a striking couple.

  Josie moved closer to Faith to make room for them beside her on the blanket. “I’m sorry. I should have thought to tell you to bring chairs.”

  “This is fine.” Brandon stretched his long legs out onto the dry grass. Allison sat beside him, tucking her beautiful bronzed legs into her chest. Josie’s skin looked mayonnaise white in comparison. She never tanned even when she did get an ample amount of sun.

  Josie introduced everyone. The day hadn’t turned out like she had expected, but she buried her feelings of jealousy. She liked Allison and didn’t want to let her own attraction to Brandon get in the way of their fast growing friendship. Josie tried not to think about the situation further. Glad Brandon had come for Tommy’s sake, she made up her mind to be happy for them. Allison seemed to suit Brandon perfectly.

  Faith appeared to be feeling fine today, back to her usual perky self. “Did you finally get over that bug you had?” Josie asked. “You’re never sick like that. It must have been a bad one.”

  Patrick and Faith exchanged glances. They both laughed.

  Josie scanned the two faces in front of her, feeling perplexed at their reaction. “What?”

  “I’ve been sick like this twice before.”

  Josie felt more confused than ever. “You mean you’re not over it?”

  Patrick and Faith laughed again. They seemed to be having a good time. She felt at a complete loss. “What is going on with you two?”

  More laughter. Brandon and Allison turned to look this time. Josie found herself laughing, but she had no idea why. Faith had to wipe away tears from her eyes.

  “I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet, Nurse Matthews.”

  “Figured out what?”

  “I’m pregnant,” Faith said.

  “Pregnant?”

  Josie realized too late she said the word loud enough to draw the attention of Brandon, Allison, and others sitting nearby. This time she busted up laughing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to announce it to the entire field.”

  “We don’t mind,” Patrick said.

  “I thought you weren’t going to have any more.”

  “Well,” Faith hesitated, “it is a surprise. We weren’t planning--”

  “God has other plans,” Patrick finished.

  “We’re excited now that the initial shock has worn off.”

  Tommy bounded to Josie’s side, announcing he needed to go to the bathroom before the start of the game, oblivious to the news.

  “Well I for one,” Josie said, corralling him into a playful hug, “can vouch for God’s unexpected surprises.”

  Patrick rose to take Tommy to the restroom. Lindsey said she needed to go too, and Faith went with her. Josie glanced at Brandon and found him looking at her. He appeared curious about the words she had spoken about Tommy. Thus far she hadn’t said anything to him about the circumstances that had led to her status as a single parent. For now she felt it was best to leave things that way.

  After the game they all went out for pizza and then Brandon drove to Allison’s apartment to drop her off. Continuing on to RiverPlace, the three of them made their way to the fourth floor.

  “What time do you want to leave for church tomorrow morning?” Brandon asked. “About nine-fifteen?”

  “You want to walk with us?” she asked, unable to hide her surprise.

  “It’s supposed to be another sunny day,” Brandon said, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Yes, I know,” Josie said. “I assumed you would be picking up a certain someone, instead of tagging along with us.”

  “Allison assured me she could walk two blocks on her own.”

  Tommy ran ahead to their apartment door. Josie stopped in front of Brandon’s.

  “I hope you didn’t mind Allison coming along,” he said.

  “I’m glad she did,” Josie said, doing her best to sound convincing. “I really like her.”

  “To be honest,” Brandon said, “I asked her out, forgetting all about Tommy’s game. When I remembered and called to tell her, she said she wanted to come.”

  “Was this your first date together?”

  “Yes.”

  Josie hesitated a moment, letting Brandon’s words sink in. Realizing what he had done for Tommy’s sake, she spoke with absolute sincerity. All feelings of self-pity melted away with her words.

  “I appreciate you coming. It meant a lot to him.”

  “I had fun. I’d like to go again sometime.”

  “Thank you,” Josie said, feeling a lump rise in her throat.

  “Nine-fifteen, then?” Brandon asked once again.

  Feeling overcome with emotion and unable to respond with words, she only nodded.

  Josie had Tommy sit down that afternoon and make thank you notes for Brandon and Allison, as well as Patrick and Faith, for coming to his game. All Josie heard Tommy talk about the rest of the day was “Brandon this...”, and “Brandon that...” He also mentioned him in his prayers when she tucked him into bed.

  Trying to catch up on sleep from her hectic week, she didn’t stay up too late. When she awoke the next morning, she felt well rested and ready for the day. She took a shower, dried her hair, and put on one of her favorite dresses. Delicate white flowers accented the navy rayon fabric, and the fitted design complimented her small curves nicely. On impulse she grabbed a bottle of perfume from the vanity and pumped it one time, intending to mist her neck but sending a stream of liquid onto the side of her face instead.

  “Oh, this crazy thing,” she muttered, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. She scraped the hole on the nozzle to clear away the dried perfume clogging it. She tried again, spraying it away from her a few times to make sure it worked properly before misting her neck. By the time she finished, it smelled like a lilac tree had bloomed in her bathroom.

  She made pancakes for Tommy and smothered a bagel with cream cheese for herself. It was a few minutes before nine-fifteen when she and Tommy were ready to leave.

  Closing the door behind her and locking the dead bolt, she turned to follow Tommy down the hallway. At the same moment the door across the hall swung open and Rick rushed out.

  “Josie! Thank God you’re home,” he said, grabbing her arm before she had a chance to say anything.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s the baby,” he said.

  She followed Rick into his apartment. Josie saw Angela sitting on the couch, holding the baby in her arms. Josie hurried to her side.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “When I got him out of his bed, he was breathing funny.”

  “How long ago?” Josie asked, taking Nathan from her.

  “A few minutes.”

  Josie checked for a pulse
and assessed his breathing rate, both were quite fast, and she could hear a raspy, wheezing sound every time he took a breath.

  “Did he just wake up?”

  “No, he woke up at seven and ate. I laid him back down about fifteen minutes ago, but he kept fussing, so I got him back up to rock him some more.”

  Josie tilted Baby Nathan’s head back and pushed down on his tongue, trying to see if something was lodged in his throat. She couldn’t see anything. Lifting the baby onto her forearm, she thumped between his shoulder blades, supporting his head in her hand.

  Nothing happened. Looking into his mouth once again, she still couldn’t see any foreign object, but the baby continued taking shallow, rapid breaths and let out sporadic, weak cries.

  “He doesn’t cry like that,” Angela said.

  “His color doesn’t look good,” Josie said. “Are you breast- feeding?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did he have anything to eat besides that?”

  “No.”

  “Did you notice anything strange before you laid him down?”

  “No.”

  “Does he sleep with anything in his crib?”

  “His teddy bear,” Angela replied.

  “Go get it,” Josie said, trying to check his mouth again. Angela hurried to the other room.

  “Call 9-1-1,” she told Rick and put Nathan back over her forearm to thump his back.

  “What’s wrong?” Rick asked, reaching for the phone.

  “I can’t be sure,” Josie said. “Could be an obstruction in his airway.”

  She could hear Rick talking to the 9-1-1 operator sounding panicked and not making sense.

  Angela came running back into the room, holding a ragged brown bear in her hand. “One of the eyes is gone!”

  Josie looked at the bear’s face and saw one hand-sewn black button. A few short threads lingered where the other “eye” should have been.

  Rick gave the operator the address and managed to describe the problem, then handed the phone to her. “She said to put you on.”

  Josie said she was a nurse and knew what to do but appreciated the steady voice confirming her actions. As a nurse she had learned to do three or four things at once but holding the phone was becoming too cumbersome, and she handed it back to Rick. The operator wanted them to stay on the line.

  “Wouldn’t it be faster to take him ourselves?” Rick asked, sounding frantic.

  “No, it’s better to wait. The paramedics will be able to give him oxygen, and I can do this better here than in a car,” she explained. “Go down to the street so you can get them up here as soon as possible when they arrive.”

  Rick appeared reluctant to leave his son’s side but finally did. Angela took the phone from him and continued to sob.

  Although she had performed emergency care on newborns many times at the hospital, this was different. She didn’t have any special equipment and she was basically on her own. Suddenly things went from bad to worse. A strange gurgling sound came from the baby’s throat, and Josie could see he could no longer breathe at all. Turning him onto his chest across her forearm again, she thumped harder. Nothing happened.

  Turning him over, she gave five gentle thrusts to Nathan’s sternum. She knew every second mattered now. “Oh, God,” she cried. What if I can’t get it out? Oh God, help me!

  She continued to alternate the back blows and the chest thrusts without any improvement for what seemed like an eternity. She saw Angela holding the phone and heard her blubbering words to the operator. Holding the baby firmly, Josie turned him onto his front once again and thumped five forceful blows, slightly harder than before. She felt the adrenaline rushing through her entire body. She began to feel nauseous.

  On the last thump she heard the baby cough, spit up into her hand, and cough again. She lowered her hand, seeing and feeling it covered with a cheesy white liquid. Sifting through it with her thumb, she revealed a black button.

  The baby let out a shrill cry, and relief swept through her. Feeling herself shaking all over, she placed Nathan in his mother’s arms as he continued to wail. But there was no sound she’d rather hear right now.

  “You should take him in to be sure, but he appears to be fine,” the paramedic said after arriving and examining the baby.

  Rick and Angela prepared to take Nathan to a nearby walk-in clinic, and Josie stepped into the hallway, realizing Tommy had not been in the apartment with her. She saw him standing in the hall. Brandon sat beside him.

  “Are you all right?” Brandon asked, rising to his feet.

  Leaning against the wall, she placed her cool hand on her clammy forehead. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, and she closed her eyes, feeling hot tears coursing down her cheeks like rain on a windshield. She was still trembling.

  Brandon came to her. She felt his arm encircle her shoulders, and he led her across the hall to her door. He tried turning the knob, but it was locked. “Do you have your key?” he asked.

  “My purse, must be in there,” she said pointing to Rick and Angela’s apartment.

  “I’ll get it,” he said and left her side. She realized how comforting his touch had been, and she squeezed Tommy’s hand to fill the void.

  Brandon returned and she fumbled around for her keys, pulling them out with her trembling fingers. Her hands were shaking, and she couldn’t insert the key into the lock.

  “I’ll do that,” he said, taking them from her and opening the door. She longed for him to put his arm around her again, but he didn’t.

  “Excuse me,” she said once they were inside, leaving him and Tommy standing in the living room and retreating to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face. She felt like she might throw up, but the feeling slowly subsided. Wiping her wet skin with a fresh towel and taking several deep breaths, she began to regain her composure. That had been so scary.

  “Sorry about that,” she said to Brandon who was patiently waiting when she returned to the living room.

  “No need to apologize,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No, you go on ahead. I don’t feel like going anywhere right now.”

  “I’ll stay,” he said, taking her arm then and leading her to the couch. “You sit, and I’ll make us some coffee.”

  Josie sunk onto the cushion and clutched a throw-pillow to her chest. Tommy sat down beside her, and she pulled him close to her side, holding him for a minute before Tommy asked if he could play a video game.

  “Sure, honey,” she said.

  Josie replayed the scene over and over in her mind, feeling relieved she had gotten the button out and hoping Baby Nathan would be all right. She wasn’t certain how long he had been unable to breathe.

  She wanted to feel Brandon’s arms around her again, but he remained in the kitchen, waiting for the water to heat. When he returned with some warm coffee in hand, she thanked him and set it on the table to cool.

  “I was a life guard in college,” Brandon said, sitting beside her. “Once a little girl went under and when we got her out, she needed CPR. Even though I was trained to do it and she was fine, it shook me up pretty good.”

  “I have never felt so helpless,” Josie said, swallowing hard and meeting his gaze. “What if I hadn’t gotten it out?”

  He laid his hand over hers and squeezed her fingers gently.

  “You did.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Mama, will you play Mario Kart with me?” Tommy called out from his spot in front of the television.

  Brandon must have read her thoughts. “I’ll play,” he said.

  Josie mouthed a silent “Thank you,” and leaned back against the sofa.

  After watching the go-carts race around the track several times, Josie rose from her seat and walked to the door leading to the balcony. Sliding it open, she stepped into the cool morning air. Despite the clear blue sky, she sensed fall was around the corner.

  A boat pulled away from the marina, and Josie watched it
move through the water. Heading upstream beyond the Marquam Bridge, it neared Ross Island and disappeared from sight. She breathed a prayer of thanks to God for helping her remove the button from Baby Nathan’s throat and also for Brandon’s presence. She didn’t want to be alone right now.

  Josie heard the faint sound of the telephone ringing but decided to let Brandon answer it. When she heard the door behind her slide open, she turned to face him.

  “That was Rick,” he said. “The doctor at the clinic said the baby is fine.”

  Josie felt relieved, and she couldn’t hold back fresh tears. Brandon stepped forward, put his arms around her, and held her close. The comfort she felt from his touch overwhelmed her and made her cry harder. She felt warm and secure in his embrace. Safe. Free to express her emotions. Normally she would have distanced herself from anyone she had known such a short time, but she remained in place.

  “Thanks for staying with me,” she said, stepping back eventually and looking into his warm brown eyes. “I’m sorry we had to miss church.”

  “We could still go,” he said, checking the time. “We could make the eleven o’clock service. If you’re up for it.”

  She didn’t feel like going but didn’t want to keep Brandon from doing so. And she knew the strength and comfort an hour of church could provide. She agreed and they arrived as the worship team began the first song. They took two seats near the back. Josie scanned the rows around them for Allison and wondered if Brandon was doing the same. A few moments later she realized Allison was on the stage, singing with the praise team. Josie knew she had a beautiful voice from when she had heard her singing beside her at youth group.

  Josie felt too emotional to sing. Every time she opened her mouth and sang a few words, a lump rose in her throat and she had to stop. Images of the baby not breathing kept flashing through her mind. Brandon must have noticed. During the final worship song--one that always made her cry, he took her hand in his. She realized it was not a romantic gesture but one of friendship and concern. She clung to the strength he offered her.

  When the service ended, Josie followed Brandon from the auditorium. She left to go pick up Tommy from the children’s service, and when they returned to the place where Brandon had been standing, she saw Allison beside him, looking radiant. She was wearing a light yellow sun dress. Her wavy hair framed her lovely face and cascaded onto her shoulders.