Bitter Bonds

by Lex Valentine

  Tears welled in his eyes again and Jake’s chest tightened with emotion. He wished he could take away every bad thing that had happened to Finn. Since he couldn’t, he vowed to himself that he would make the boy’s life so full of joy and happiness that he would one day forget what his parents and Reynolds had done to him.

  “Attending Juilliard did mean a chance to make my music better, but I had more important reasons for going there. Those reasons are gone now.” Finn’s voice gained strength as Jake remained silent, letting him speak about his needs and desires. “I want to finish college. I want to stay here and work with you and make music with you. I don’t want to leave. I feel safe here. It feels like…home.”

  The tears that threatened spilled down his cheeks now. “For the first time in my life I have a real family here with you and Ray, Haven and Micah and their Dominants. You all care about me. No one uses me. I’m free and I’m happy. Or at least, I am now that I know you love me and won’t send me away.”

  Jake hugged Finn close, his hands stroking over the lean muscled body that sat on his lap and pressed to his chest. “No, I won’t send you away. You’re a part of me now. I can’t imagine life without you.” He grimaced. “Actually, I can. I had a bad dream about it and believe me, I don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

  Head cocked to one side in a pose of curiosity, Finn said, “A bad dream about me?”

  “When I was at the cabin. I dreamed we were all at the club and Gavin and Kellen were telling me to collar you just like they did the last time we all went there.” Jake grimaced, remembering the dream that had shook him so badly. “I dreamed a man walked up to you and offered you a collar. You knelt and he slipped the collar around your neck. Then he kissed you and took you away while I stood right there, unable to move, unable to speak. You walked away and didn’t look back and…”

  Jake couldn’t go on. The worst part of the dream for him had been seeing Finn happy with someone else. It had been a knife thrust into his gut.

  “Sir? Jake?” Finn prompted, a worried frown wrinkling his brow.

  Arms tight around his lover, Jake drew one deeply shuddering breath. “Your face had an expression of happiness on it when he put the collar on you,” he whispered, knowing his voice sounded agonized but unable to do anything about it. “And you didn’t look back when he took you away. Nothing has ever hurt me like that. Nothing.”

  Instantly, Finn wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck, clinging tightly to him. “I would never let another man collar me. I would never be happy with another man.”

  The fierceness of Finn’s low voice soothed Jake. Finn belonged to him. They were together. He hadn’t been so stupid as to let the boy go. Tugging on the soft strands of Finn’s hair he pulled his lover’s mouth to his and kissed him deeply. Tongues swirled and danced together, licking, tasting and teasing. Jake’s jeans grew tight in the crotch as Finn rubbed on him, long lean body undulating sensuously. They writhed together on the couch in the control room, hands and mouths exploring until Jake couldn’t take any more.

  “Up,” he panted, pushing Finn to his feet.

  He stood and they leaned against each other, breathless and shaking. Placing his hands on Finn’s shoulders, Jake steered him out the door and to the stairs. They climbed in silence, but Jake didn’t remove his hands from Finn’s body. At the top of the stairs, Finn turned down the hall. He hesitated between his bedroom and the master suite and glanced up at Jake, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his pale gaze questioning.

  The urge to kiss him and suck that full lower lip into his mouth struck Jake like a hammer blow. But the tingling of his palms overrode that urge and he turned Finn toward the door that they had yet to open together. He turned the doorknob and the ash blond wood swung open, revealing his playroom. Finn sucked in a breath and Jake could feel the excitement coursing through his submissive.

  They stepped inside and he shut the door, standing quietly as Finn explored the room. He tried to see the room as Finn did, with new eyes. In a sense it was all new because he’d never been here with a man he loved. He looked at the St. Andrew’s Cross made of the same light colored Scandinavian wood as the rest of the building, the padded brown leather spanking bench, the rings set in the walls and ceiling, the leather swing, the rows of toys neatly attached to the walls beside the chest high toy box also made of ash, and the arched open doorway into the tiled wet room.

  “I’ve never seen such a beautiful playroom, sir.” Finn’s voice held a breathy quality that made Jake’s heart begin to race. Awe and lust vied for supremacy in the submissive’s tone.

  “I’m afraid it’s seen very little use,” he admitted, a twinge of self-consciousness pricking him.

  Finn turned a brilliant smile on him. “We’ll break it in together, shall we, sir?”

  Bright eyes held an expression of such excitement that Jake wouldn’t have had the heart to deny the boy even if he wasn’t already hard as stone at the idea of playing with Finn. He cleared his throat and gestured toward a stool near the door. “Strip. Leave your clothes there.”

  Watching the boy scramble to obey his order brought a smile to Jake’s lips. As each inch of creamy skin revealed itself, he found himself unable to look away. He had no idea what to do first but he knew whatever he decided, it would be better than anything else he’d ever done previously.

  Deciding that he’d best be prepared for how quickly Finn would bring him to the brink of orgasm simply by being naked and bound, Jake stripped out of his own clothes, leaving them on a matching stool. He caught Finn’s admiring gaze on his body when he finally turned toward his submissive. In that moment, he knew what he wanted to do.

  “Stand beneath the big ring in the center of the room,” he told Finn, his voice low and even.

  Finn moved to do his bidding, coming to a stop beneath a ring that dangled from the ceiling. Jake opened the toy chest and selected a pair of leather cuffs with a clip that hung from the length of chain between them. He strapped the leather onto Finn’s outstretched arms. Then he pulled on the clip, lifting Finn’s arms into the air. With a snap of metal, the cuffs were clipped to the ring. Jake went over to a switch on the wall and flipped it. The ring Finn’s wrists were connected to rose toward the ceiling until his arms and body stretched tight. Finn stood, feet shoulder width apart, arms above his head and eyes cast submissively downward.

  “Does that hurt?” Jake asked. “It’s not too high?”

  Finn drew a deep breath that expanded his perfectly sculpted chest. “No, sir. It’s fine.”

  Jake checked the tension in his submissive’s arms, running his hands over the boy’s flesh to ensure he hadn’t pulled his arms up too high. He didn’t need Finn dislocating his shoulder. Once he assured himself that Finn was comfortable, he went back to the toy chest. This time he selected ankle cuffs.

  H e knelt before Finn and strapped the cuffs to his ankles and then clipped each one to a ring in the floor. Now, he’d completely immobilized his submissive.

  “Still comfortable?” he asked as he circled Finn. “Nothing chafing or pinching? Nothing pulled too tightly?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Tell me your safe word.”

  “Piano.”

  The reply held a note of breathlessness and Jake noted the flourishing erection on his lover. With a smile he returned to the toy chest for one last thing. The leather blindfold had pads that went over the submissive’s eye sockets to help keep the light out. He fitted the blindfold around Finn’s head, admiring the way the black leather stood out against the pale backdrop of Finn’s hair.

  Now that he had his submissive bound and blindfolded before him, Jake took a moment to step back and admire the man. Nearly six feet of cream pale skin, lean muscles and perfect, rounded buttocks beckoned to Jake. He denied himself the pleasure of touching Finn right at that moment, instead deciding to wrap a hand around his cock as he stared at the man he loved. He stroked himself, knowing that Finn could hear the soft sounds a
nd would know what he was doing. A twitch of the submissive’s erection and a quiet moan let Jake know just how turned on Finn had become.

  Releasing his cock, Jake slowly circled Finn again. However, when he reached the sub’s backside, he brought his hand down against one taut buttock in a loud smack. Finn jerked but made no sound. Jake studied the red handprint on his lover’s ass. Precome seeped from his cock as he grew unbearably aroused. He began to spank Finn, alternating cheeks until both shone a bright red and the sub gasped aloud with each blow.

  Jake stopped and eyed Finn’s straining erection. Pre-cum decorated the shaft, making it shine in the overhead lighting. Unable to resist the beauty of that cock, Jake dropped to his knees and deep throated the length.

  Finn cried out, shock and pleasure mixing together to create a sound Jake had never heard before. The submissive quivered, his entire body bowing as Jake went down on him. Hands hot from spanking met equally hot smacked flesh. Jake caressed Finn’s perfect ass, rubbing the reddened skin softly. His tongue swirled around Finn’s cock and he pulled on the sub’s tight balls. Then he backed off, letting the cool air caress the hard column of flesh that just left his mouth.

  “You’re not to come until I give you permission,” he ordered and rose to his feet.

  He found the lube and a condom and suited up. Then he returned to Finn. Slipping his lubed fingers between those red buttocks, he easily found Finn’s hole.

  “We’ll get tested and once we have the proof that we’re okay, no more condoms.” Jake’s words make the submissive moan.

  Carefully, he prepared Finn to take his cock and then tossed the lube aside as he pressed into the submissive’s heated channel. Finn cried out, his body arching as he tried to press back into the thrust. Jake held him still with his hands on the boy’s narrow hips. Finn clenched around him and he gritted his teeth, willing himself not to come. But then he peered over his lover’s shoulder and had his gaze caught by the beautiful red, straining erection that rose from Finn’s shaved pubes. It gleamed with saliva and pre-cum and Jake’s mouth watered to taste his lover again. He knew then he wouldn’t last.

  With each thrust growing in intensity, Jake set out to get himself and his lover off as quickly as possible. After the tension of their confessions and the anticipation of bringing dominance and submission to their newly committed relationship, the actual bondage and spanking had been almost enough to make them both come without any further stimulation. Now, seated deep inside the man he loved, Jake let one hand slip around to stroke Finn’s cock.

  A strangled cry escaped the other man as Jake teased him. He licked Finn’s ear.

  “Come!”

  The whisper caused Finn to jerk. He tensed and then, with a whimper, his cock erupted, spilling hot seed over Jake’s fingers. Two quick thrusts and Jake fell over the edge as well, his cock filling the condom as Finn’s tight passage squeezed him in time with the submissive’s aftershocks.

  They panted together for long minutes before a shaky Jake carefully pulled free of Finn’s ass. They both moaned, their flesh sensitive in the wake of their orgasms. Jake disposed of the condom and took a wet cloth to himself and his hand. Next, he carefully cleaned Finn and the floor beneath him before removing the leather blindfold. Finally, he undid the ankle cuffs and slowly lowered Finn’s arms so he could undo the wrist cuffs.

  He rubbed his hands over Finn’s biceps, feeling the muscles tremble from the strain of being held in position over Finn’s head. The sub mewled in the back of his throat as Jake rubbed life and heat back into the muscles of his arms. Jake gathered Finn into his arms and held him, rocking a little on his feet. “Love you,” he told the submissive with soft kisses on the side of his face.

  Finn cuddled close, rubbing against Jake’s bare chest, arms hugging his waist. “Love you, too.”

  Their soft murmurs of love words and phrases continued for a few moments as they regained their equilibrium. Jake held Finn against his side as they left the playroom and headed for what was now their bed. Jake tucked his lover under the covers and got in behind him. They lay spooned together beneath the smiling eyes of the anime elf. Finn curled close within Jake’s embrace apparently supremely comfortable being held tightly by a possessive Dominant. When the submissive went boneless on a deep sigh of contentment, Jake chuckled.

  “You know, I think I have a solution to the music issue,” he whispered into Finn’s ear. “We both need and want to play. You love writing music as do I. I love singing and performing and I love it when we’re in the studio together working on songs. So how about you and I check out the local clubs and bars around the university? We could play those venues a couple of nights a week, just you and me, piano and guitar, an acoustic set of original songs. What do you think?”

  “I would love to play with you, but what would we call ourselves?”

  Jake smiled and brushed a kiss to the back of Finn’s neck. “Why don’t we keep it simple and just go by our names? Jake and Finn?”

  Another sigh escaped Finn. “I like it.”

  Turning the submissive in his arms, Jake kissed his lips and then his neck. “I love you. And I want the whole world to know you belong to me. We’ll pick out a collar tomorrow.”

  Happiness glittered in the boy’s eyes. “I love you too, sir.”

  “Good. Now, sleep.”

  Jake petted and stroked his submissive until the other man’s soft, deep breaths indicated he’d fallen asleep. Closing his own eyes then, contentment flooding every cell in his body, Jake slept too. Twelve – Finn

  Walking into Darkness with his permanent collar on display made Finn feel on the top of the world. Interested Dominants turned away the instant they saw the collar. For the first time in his life, Finn had a home and a future that he knew would not be taken away from him. He had someplace he belonged and someone he belonged to. His heart sang with joyous music.

  Micah gasped and ran to him the instant he saw the collar around Finn’s bare throat. Enfolded in the smaller submissive’s enthusiastic embrace, Finn grinned over the top of his head at Haven who offered him a congratulatory handshake and a warm, one-armed hug. Next were the Dominants offering their congratulations to both Finn and Jake. Ray had a smug “I-told-you-so” expression while Nick and Kellen seemed genuinely happy for them. Even Gavin offered his congratulations although Finn could sense a thread of sadness and unhappiness in the Dominant. He didn’t know the man’s former submissive the way Micah and Haven did, but he wished Alex would return and take away the pain that Finn saw deep in Gavin’s eyes.

  He didn’t dwell on the other man’s unhappiness though. The night had been planned as a celebration. Jake would put him on display and spank him for the whole club to see. Finn’s excitement at playing publically in the club knew no bounds. For him, the public demonstration meant that the whole world would see who he belonged to. Afterward, they would go home and have amazing, mind-blowing, kinky sex. Finn couldn’t ask for a better night.

  He settled in at a table with Haven and Micah while their Dominants sat at the bar talking with Ray, Gavin and Dylan, the other bartender. His standing orders while at Darkness were simple. No drinking alcohol. No speaking to Dominants other than Jake’s friends. He must address Jake and the other Dominants as “sir.” His collar must be visible at all times. Finn loved that he had standing orders even if they were pretty simple. He knew Jake would issue more orders if he needed to.

  “So what happened?” Micah asked, his voice low even though their Dominants were too far away to hear them.

  Finn fiddled with his glass of cola. “I wrote a song for him. I thought he could record it and maybe use it as a springboard to get noticed by a record company. I wanted to give him something he could use to achieve his dream of making it as a singer. His voice is so beautiful, it’s what he deserves.”

  Haven snorted. “I don’t think Jake dreams of being a rock star, Finn. And even if he does sing like an angel and his voice deserves recognition, I don’t think being
famous is what he really wants.”

  Finn shook his head. “He says it isn’t any longer. But I do think he needs to be able to perform. He loves playing and singing. He can’t just let that go.”

  “So what are you going to do?” Micah eyed him curiously.

  A smile curved Finn’s lips as he thought of what he and Jake had come up with to satisfy the Dominant’s need to make music. “We’re going to look into performing at some open mic nights and some of the bars around the university. Just Jake on the guitar and me on the piano. It will be something we can do for each other and ourselves. I have all this music in me. It needs to go somewhere Jake says.”

  “And you’re going back to school?” Micah pressed.

  “Yes.” Finn was determined on that point. Even with his new collar around his throat, Jake’s declarations of love still ringing in his ears and the warm sense of having found the one place in the world where he belonged, Finn needed to do some things for himself. School, finding a career that suited him and making music were at the top of his “Things To Do For Finn” list.

  “Yay!” Micah and Haven cheered then fell into laughter.

  Finn glanced over at the bar and saw Jake smiling at him. The depth of love in the Dominant’s eyes couldn’t be missed. A shiver of awareness ran through Finn.

  Not so many weeks in the past, he’d sat in Darkness’s bar and wondered if he could sell his body for something to eat. He’d wondered how long he’d survive on the street with no money and nowhere to go. Hitting rock bottom, facing the possibility of starving to death or being beaten, raped or killed on the streets, facing his own mortality in a way he’d never had to before all seemed so very far away now. A new sense of peace and acceptance settled over him.

  “I never knew that being wanted and needed could feel so good,” he murmured, his gaze on Jake. “It’s not all about me nor is it all about Jake. It’s about us. And I’m so very grateful that there is an us. It’s more than I ever imagined I would have.”