Vision of Love

by S. Moose

  Chapter 13

  Nicholas

  Instantly I wake up sweating and breathing heavily. I close my eyes and count to ten before opening my eyes and looking to my side. Karly. This beautiful woman who has my heart is lying next to me looking absolutely beautiful.

  I slowly get out of bed and head to the bathroom. The nightmare is still on my mind. Dreaming about losing Karly breaks me. The past few weeks have been incredible. I’m smiling more and the care she shows me is something I haven’t seen or felt in years. Breathing her in when she’s near makes me want her more.

  The charity event is in a few days and I haven’t asked Karly if she’d like to come. Luckily I had the chance to change the name of my plus one from Emma to Karly. Even though it’s only been a little over a month since we’ve known each other I’m falling for her every day a little more. I don’t care that it hasn’t been that long since she’s been in my life. She’s my everything and I want her to know it every day. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I want her to have everything this world has to offer and to always smile and never regret being with me. We get along great, but a part of me is still anxious, I have to remind myself that Karly’s not Jamie. Karly wants to be with me. The bond between her and Emma is undeniable and strong too. Both of our hearts are healing together.

  Sliding back back to bed to be with the girl I want now and forever I wrap my arm around her waist and bring her closer to me. I love the way she smells and the way she sleeps. I love everything about her. A little moan leaves her lips as she places her head on my chest and hand on my heart. She’s perfect. The raging hard-on is pushing against my boxers, but I think of something else, anything else, to calm it down. My innocent girlfriend isn’t ready and I’d wait forever for her. I don’t care. I know she’s done other things, like oral, but I want to be her first for everything going forward. I want to be the only one who brings pleasure to her body and soul, and I want to be the one who’s name she screams. No one else’s.

  “Always gonna be you and me, baby. I’ll always love you and protect you from everyone and anything. You’re the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with,” I whisper.

  * * * * *

  After another long day in the office I’m finally coming home to my girls. When I walk in the living room Karly and Emma are on the couch and Karly’s crying.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” Emma lifts her head up and takes my hand.

  “Hi daddy,” she whispers looking at Karly.

  “Hi sweetie.” I bring Emma in my arms and kiss the top of her head. I brush her tear stained hair from Karly’s eyes and hold her hand. “Talk to me please?”

  She lifts her head and dries her tears. “It’s Neil. He, um, he’s in rehab. There’s a facility in California and he couldn’t call anyone until he was through his detox. He’s been on drugs to help with his depression and pain. He still has a while before he can come home,” she sobs, hugging a pillow to her body.

  I hate seeing her like this; crying and defeated. “But he’s okay baby. He’s getting the help he needs. Maybe you can fly to see him. I’m sure he’d like that.”

  “Will you be okay with that?”

  “Of course,” I kiss her forehead and dry her tears. “There’s my beautiful girl. No more tears. Go book your flight and I’ll ask my mom to watch Emma while you’re gone.”

  “Thank you,” she whispers kissing my cheek before heading to our room.

  I sit on the couch with Emma thinking about what I’m doing-letting her go to California to visit her ex boyfriend who’s in rehab. I need to trust that she won’t do anything. She’s never done anything to make me not trust her so I have no reason to feel like a jealous boyfriend. Leaning back on the couch I let the thought of Karly leaving sink in. It’s not the best situation, but I know Neil’s her best friend. Fuck, get it together Hayes. She’s with you.

  “Daddy you can always make people stop crying.”

  I kiss Emma’s forehead. “I try sweetie. Thanks for being strong for Karly today. I think you being here made her feel better.”

  “You think?”

  “I know. Why don’t you go upstairs and see her? I’ll order pizza how’s that sound?”

  “YES!” Emma jumps from my arms and runs upstairs.

  The rest of the night goes by without any more surprises. We put Emma to bed by eight thirty and head outside to relax. We’re laying on the cabana as she rests her head on my chest. I caress her arm and whisper how much she means to me.

  “How are you feeling baby?”

  “A lot better,” she answers, squeezing my arm letting me know she’s okay. “Tell me a secret. One that no one knows.”

  I think about it for a few minutes. “I’m scared of spiders.” She bursts out laughing in my arms. I feel her whole body shaking from her fit. “Thanks baby. I appreciate you laughing at my fear.” I hold her tighter. Things truly are incredible. I’ve let her in and she’s let me in. We both know each other’s insecurities and fears and we’re still here together.

  “Your turn. Tell me a secret.”

  She gets up from my chest and turns to face me. “I’m scared to have sex with you.”

  “What? Why?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Why would she be scared? “Did I do something to make you feel this way?”

  She shakes her head, “No I think I won’t be good enough for you. I’m so inexperienced. I mean yeah I’ve done other things...” I stop her before she continues.

  “Baby, one I don’t wanna know about what you did with your other boyfriends.” Call me crazy or a jealous asshole but honestly I don’t care to know about her past with them. “Second, you’re being ridiculous.”

  Her face squishes together and her eyes narrow. Shit her mad face. “So my feelings are ridiculous to you? I tell you how I feel and you think it’s stupid? You’re such an ass Nicholas.” She gets off the cabana and starts to walk away. Quickly I get up and wrap my arms around her waist.

  “That’s not what I meant. I think you’re overreacting.” I kiss her cheek and hold her closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass. I know you’re scared because of your lack of experience, but it will be okay. We’ll take it easy when the time comes. I know you’re upset about Neil, but don’t take my words out of context. I don’t even know why I’m letting you go.”

  Karly pushes me away and slaps my face. “Excuse me? You’re letting me go? I bought the damn ticket with my own money Nicholas! I’m an adult. I can go wherever I want, when I want to.”

  Okay so maybe I crossed a line and deserved that slap. “Baby, stop.” I bring her in my arms and press my forehead against hers. “Stop, okay? I’m sorry. Your feelings aren’t ridiculous. I just think you shouldn’t feel this way. You know I don’t care about that. You give me everything I want and need.”

  Her hands are on my chest trying to push me away, but I don’t budge. “Just leave me alone! I’m going through so much and you’re not helping. I know I’m inexperienced and a ball of emotions, but you don’t have to make me feel like an idiot.”

  I pull her closer and run my hands over her shoulders and down her arms. “I know and I shouldn’t have said that, okay? I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.” She doesn’t say anything and refuses to look at me. I pull out my phone and play our song.

  “Not gonna work,” she mutters, but I see her body relaxing.

  “Come here.” She comes back in my arms and I hold her tight as we sway to the music.

  I feel her body relax in my arms as she leans up and kisses me. I know she’s forgiven me now, and damn her kisses are fucking sexy “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

  “It’s alright I deserved it.”

  We hold each other and when the song ends our lips meet. I gently push her backwards on our little cabana by the pool. She falls back with me holding her in my arms. Her hands roam my back, grabbing my ass and running her hands inside my shirt touching my back. I quickly take it off and go back to those beautiful lips.

/>   The feelings take over. All I know is that I want her and I hope she’s ready. I know I said I’m going to wait but the way she’s grabbing me and moving against me, shit, she wants it too. She pushes me off her and straddles herself on me. “You’re so fucking sexy.” Her lips meet mine as she humps the shit out of my hard cock.

  “I want you, Nicholas. So bad. Please.” She stands up in front of me removing her shorts and tank top. Fuck. In front of me is my unbelievably sexy girlfriend wearing a pink lacey bra and thong. My dick pushes against my jeans ready to play. Oh and I can’t wait to play.

  “Come here baby.” She climbs back on me rubbing her phenomenal boobs against my naked chest. Shit I’m about to lose it. I throw her on her back and remove my jeans. She openly eye fucks me and I’m pretty confident I’ll rock her world. I get on my knees, bring her closer to the edge removing her thong and taking in her beauty. My lips taste her body and admire her from her face down to her toes. She’s beautiful.

  “Tell me if I’m going too fast,” I whisper in her ear.

  She takes my face in her hands and kisses me. “I’m ready for tonight. I’m ready to be with you.” Her eyes lock on mine and I swear every fear and doubt leaves my body. “Nicholas,” she breathlessly lets out.

  “Shhh, baby.” I kiss her stomach all the way down to my favorite part. Her hands play with my hair as I devour each part of her body. My tongue slides up and down her clit, finding the spot that drives her crazy. Her body shudders. She grabs my head and pushes me deeper in. God she tastes so good. My hands grip her hips and when my eyes meet hers there’s desire and primal need. I slide in two fingers while licking and sucking.

  “Oh my God Nicholas. Keep going!” She screams, arching her back and gripping my hair tighter. As my lips continue to suck and lick, her breathing becomes rapid and fast.

  I slowly run my tongue over her clit multiple times, hearing her moaning and saying my name. Damn that’s sexy. She wraps her legs around my neck and fuck I go crazy on her delicious pussy. I kiss her inner thighs all the way back up her beautiful body.

  “I wanna do this to you all night. I wanna know every inch of your body and cherish you. Every moment of every day I want us to be together and make unforgettable memories.”

  “I want that with you, Nicholas. Always.” We kiss again and this time without the urgency and need. Nice and slow our tongues dance as my hands remove her bra. The feel of her boobs against my chest, skin on skin, makes me weak and full of need.

  “God baby you’re incredible.” I stare at her body, licking my lips, wanting more. She gives me her ‘take me now’ eyes and who am I to leave her waiting. “Wait, shit. Condom.”

  “It’s okay I’m on the pill and you’re my first.”

  “Are you sure?” She nods her head. “I’m clean so don’t worry. I had my physical when I moved here and everything came back fine.”

  “I trust you,” she whispers.

  I stare into her eyes, slowly entering her.

  “Nicholas,” she gasps, clawing my back. Her eyes are wide and she’s biting her lip. I slow down and take my time.

  “Are you okay baby?”

  “Wow keep going.” I push a little faster and harder inside her and nearly die from pleasure.

  “You’re so wet and tight baby. Fuck.” I kiss her lips and deeply fuck her, feeling her legs wrap around my waist. I slow down and bring my lips to hers. I want this moment to last and take in every second with her.

  “Baby,” she breathlessly says, “Lie on your back.” Without thinking I slowly pull out of her and lie down. Soon she’s straddling me and fuck she’s gorgeous. “Can you show me how to make this feel good for you?”

  I’m not sure what to say. I place my hands on her hips, sit up and slowly bring her down on me. “Just do what feels good Karly.” She nods her head and starts moving up and down. “Like that,” I hiss, wanting and needing more from her. Her speed picks up and when our lips meet again I’m lost in this moment. Everything feels good when I’m with Karly. My eyes close, throwing my head back, helping her move faster up and down. “Shit.”

  “This feels so good.” I open my eyes and push her boobs in my face, slowly sucking each nipple and hearing her moan. She whimpers to keep going and sucking. “Am I doing okay?”

  I lift my lips from her nipple and kiss her neck. “Of course. You feel so good. Baby I don’t know how long I can last. You feel too damn good.” Our eyes meet and I swear I see the desire and love pooling from her eyes. She smiles at me and kisses my cheeks, lips and neck. Her body pushes against mine. I don’t want to come yet, but I can’t hold it in any longer. I feel her muscles clench around me.

  “I’m about to come!” She rides my dick faster and harder.

  Holy shit. Where’d my shy girlfriend go? She moves faster and finally we both find our release. She screams my name and holds me close. This, by far, was the best sexual experience of my life. I slowly move out of her, put on my boxers and run inside to get a wet towel.

  “Open your legs again for me baby.” I slowly clean her, never taking my eyes off her. “You’re so sexy baby.”

  “And you’re an amazing sex machine,” she giggles.

  I toss the towel to the side and wrap my arms around her waist. “Is that all I’m good for?”

  “Maybe.” I kiss her cheek. “I’m gonna miss you when I leave.”

  “Me too. When are you leaving?”

  She turns to face me, “Tomorrow morning. I’ll be gone for a few days. But don’t worry, I’ll be back for the gala.”

  “Alright. Just be safe baby.” I kiss her again and my cock gets hard, needing her again. “Round two?” I wink pulling her on top of me.

  Chapter 14

  Karly

  “He’s been asking for you lately,” Doctor Prince states, leading me down to Neil’s room. The walk down the hall seems never ending. I’m so nervous about seeing him. I’m not sure exactly what I’m feeling as the emotions course through me. I’m upset and hurt and mad. So mad that he didn’t trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. After everything we’ve been through he should’ve known that he could trust me. I control my breathing and rethink my feelings. I need to let Neil know I understand why he didn’t tell me. This isn’t about me and being upset with Neil-it’s about getting him better. All of the anger disappears and is replaced with sadness and concern. How am I supposed to make him feel better? What am I supposed to do?

  “How’s he doing?” I ask breaking the silence.

  “At first he was hesitant. A little emotional and violent but after a few weeks he calmed down and started opening up during sessions.”

  I hear his words, but it’s not registering. All I hear is he’s breaking down. I’m trying my hardest not to break down before seeing him. This feels like a nightmare and I just need to wake up. I can’t imagine how he must be feeling. “Ready?” I nod my head. When Doctor Prince opens the door my heart drops. Neil’s on his bed with his legs folded. He’s reading a book and there are pictures of his life on his walls. I look at the pictures and notice that it’s mostly of us. My heart breaks. Tears rush from my eyes and I can’t stop feeling like I failed him.

  “Neil?” I softly say.

  “I’ll give you two some time alone,” the doctor says before leaving.

  “Neil?”

  He looks up and smiles. “Hey baby girl.” As soon as those words leave his lips I run to him, jumping on the bed and throwing my arms around his neck. The tears leave my eyes. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m doing better.”

  We stay in this embrace for a while. I don’t want to let him go. The whole world stops and it feels as though Neil and I are the only ones here. I never want to leave his side. He needs me and I need to make sure he’ll be alright. “What happened?” I finally ask resting my head against his chest.

  “I got addicted to pills after what happened to my ACL then because my dreams of the NBA were gone I got on antidepressants and got addicted. The pain was too much for me a
nd,” he pauses.

  How didn’t I notice any of this before? I knew he was acting different, but didn’t think anything of it. “What else?”

  “I came here to detox and to um commit myself because well ha I’m gay baby girl.”

  I look at him and still see my best friend. Nothing’s ever going to change that. “And you think that’s a bad thing?”

  “Yeah,” he softly answers. “My parents know and they don’t want anything to do with me. I’m alone, Karly.”

  I place my hands on his face, “You have me and I promise I’ll always be here.”

  The next few days go by in a blur. I spend all my time with Neil, listening to him and being with him. We spend our days in the park, sitting on the grass and talking. He tells me how he’s feeling and what he wants to focus on. The therapy sessions are tough to sit through. I hate hearing how he feels as though he’s failed me and everyone else. I’m not sure how many times I tell him he’s not a failure, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s sinking in. Each day we spend together Neil gets worse. His anger escalates, especially during the night. Doctor Prince says it’s normal and expected and the best thing to do is support him.

  He’s in a dark place and I hope the rehab center will help him. I’m nervous to leave him, but I scheduled my new few visits to reassure him I’ll be there.

  When I land, Nicholas and Emma are waiting for me. I run to my two favorite people, holding them tight and kissing the man of my dreams.

  “Welcome home baby.”

  “Yay Karly you’re back!”

  Nicholas and I kiss again. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too baby. Come on let’s go home.” Home I sigh.

  When we get home all I want to do is sleep. The flight was too long and all I can think about is Neil. Something feels off and I’m nervous. I think about calling Doctor Prince, but I hold off. I don’t want to smother Neil, he needs space to relax and get himself together.