Ladies of Deception 02 - Misleading Lord Martineau

by Ginny Hartman

  He was grateful when she didn’t argue but did as he said. As soon as she was out of hearing distance he turned to Felicity once more, “What promise have I broken?”

  “You promised you’d always take care of me but clearly that’s not your intent.”

  “I am taking care of you the best way I know how,” he said painfully, wishing she’d understand.

  “No, you’re taking care of you Elliot, you haven’t stopped to consider my needs.”

  “This isn’t about me,” he said incredulously, “This is about you and Edith, about protecting you from me.”

  Felicity looked at him sadly. She didn’t have the strength to listen to his reasoning once more. “I’ve got to get going or I’m going to be late.”

  Elliot looked at her as if she had sprouted two heads, “You’re not going anywhere dressed like that.”

  “Whatever do you mean? Of course I’m going somewhere; this isn’t a dress I’d wear just around the house.”

  “That isn’t a dress you should be wearing anywhere, especially not out in public,” he growled as he eyed her bare shoulders and the low neckline that in his opinion exposed too much of her décolletage. No matter how heartless he was, he was still a warm-blooded male and he knew what like minded men were sure to think of her in that dress, the thought making him furious.

  “I’m not some debutante Elliot, I’m known only in society as a widow and therefore I can wear whatever I wish. And I’ll have you know that this is one of the dresses I bought when you insisted that Hope take me shopping, I apologize for not thanking you for it earlier.”

  That provoked him even further, “Where are you going?”

  “To the Edward’s rout. I really must get going.” She turned on her heel to leave, aggravated beyond words that he couldn’t say anything nice to her about her new dress, instead choosing to be critical.

  Elliot reached out in a panic and grabbed her bare shoulder, the contact making his hand feel as if it had been burned. “What do you want?” Felicity ground out between tightly clenched teeth.

  “I want you to change before you go—not a single man in attendance will be able to take his eyes off of you.”

  “Good, that will help me achieve my purpose then.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked dumbfounded. Seeing her dressed so shockingly was making it so he couldn’t think clearly.

  “I’m going out as Lady Davenport, I need to find myself a husband and the sooner the better.”

  “You can’t be serious,” he stuttered.

  “In fact I am. You honestly don’t expect me to sit around and take advantage of the duke’s kindness and generosity indefinitely do you? I can’t stay here forever and do that to him and Hope. I appreciate all they’ve done for Edith and me but it’s time I start making plans to move on. Since you don’t want anything to do with me I’ve decided to go back to my original plan.”

  “There’s got to be a better idea,” he stammered, afraid he was losing the argument and that she really would go out in that dress.

  “Oh really? What do you propose I do, put my life on hold to become a governess instead? Or how about I go find a pub to work in? I’m sure Aunt Agatha won’t mind raising Edith so I can provide an income for our family. Is that what you would have me do?”

  The thought of Felicity doing common work and laboring to take care of their daughter made him cringe. He shook his head no while she continued, “I didn’t think so. You were the one who thought it was best if you weren’t in my life, so kindly stay out of it. I’m a grown woman who can make decisions for myself.” Felicity grabbed her skirts in her hands and turned to leave. Looking back over one shoulder she called, “Now excuse me, I’ve got work to do.”

  “Felicity stop,” he called out but when she didn’t slow he added, “Please.”

  Felicity finally halted but she didn’t turn around and face him. “What?” she asked coldly.

  “Let me take care of you. I’ll put you up in one of my houses and provide you with an income so that you’ll never have to worry about anything ever again.”

  She turned to him then, her eyes flashing with anger. “And then what Elliot? Am I supposed to be satisfied living off of your generosity for the rest of my life, like some kept mistress?”

  “You would not be my mistress!” he exclaimed, appalled by her outlook.

  “You’re right, I wouldn’t even have that much of you. I’ve never wanted your money Elliot, I’ve always just wanted your love, wanted to share your life but let me remind you that you were the one who made it perfectly clear that was no longer a possibility. You were the one who put us in this position Elliot, not me so I’m sorry if you don’t like the fact that I am moving on with my life or if you don’t like my decisions, but you do not have a say in what I do with my future.”

  “Well what about Edith?” he asked, grasping hopelessly for something he could control, “Don’t I have a say in her future?”

  “Absolutely not,” she said sharply. “You forget that you have no legal claim to her, none, so don’t bring her into this.”

  Elliot looked at her speechless. She had a point; he had no legal claim to his daughter and therefore no say in her future. He watched Felicity turn and flee knowing he could never convince her to abandon her plan now.

  He was in a foul mood when he entered the nursery, the sight of Edith and her sweet smile didn’t even seem to cheer him up. He had to force himself to go through the motions of playing dolls with her while his heart and mind were not in it. He had the sinking feeling that he had ruined his life beyond repair and he didn’t like the despair that thought brought with it.

  He finished playing with Edith then declined Hope’s invitation to stay for supper, just wanting to get home and be alone with his thoughts and a bottle of brandy. Hope nudged Pierce in the ribs as Elliot was about to leave. Pierce stepped forward and cleared his throat, “Elliot, why don’t we head over to White’s? It’s been ages since we’ve shown our faces there.”

  “Maybe another time,” he replied half heartedly as he walked out the door.

  Pierce looked over his shoulder at Hope and shrugged. She indicated for him to follow Elliot out to which he obliged. He followed him down the walk to his carriage, both of them stopping before he got in.

  “Elliot I don’t know why you’re doing this, you’re making Felicity and yourself absolutely miserable.”

  “You wouldn’t understand. You sit in your perfect house with your beautiful wife and a child on the way who will legally belong to you; you couldn’t possibly understand what I’m going through. I’m doing Felicity a favor.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  Elliot’s head whipped up. Pierce had never spoken so brashly to him, though at times he was sure he had wanted to. “Pardon?”

  “If you think for one second that you’re doing Felicity and your child any favors than you’re an idiot, and you’re not doing yourself one either.”

  “I’ve caused her so much hurt, I’ve caused everybody so much hurt. How could she ever forgive me?”

  “Have you asked her to forgive you?”

  He nodded, “She said she already did, but I don’t know if that’s true.”

  “Elliot, she doesn’t need to forgive you, she already has. You need to forgive yourself. Stop torturing her that way, she doesn’t deserve it. If you’re not careful she’ll find somebody who does deserve her and she’ll learn how to be happy again while you remain forever in your misery. Now go home and think about that for awhile.” Pierce pulled the carriage door open indicating he was done with the conversation. As soon as Elliot stepped up into the carriage and seated himself Pierce slammed the door shut and turned and walked silently back to his house.

  Chapter 24

  Thursday May 19th, 1814

  It had been almost a fortnight since Elliot had seen Felicity or had even gone to visit Edith for that matter. In fact, he hadn’t seen much of anyone besides his butler Percival and his valet
Charles, both of which had resorted to viewing his unkempt appearance and indifferent attitude with barely contained disdain when he had long ago stopped listening to their pleas that he snap out of his bad mood. He had refused to let Charles shave him and he hadn’t bothered doing it himself either, his face now covered with a short, dark beard that hid the dimple on his cheek completely.

  He wasn’t surprised when Percival found him in his study sipping a glass of brandy to announce that he had a visitor. He had actually been surprised that no one had come by earlier, knowing it was only a matter of time before Pierce or Hope or both showed up to try and lecture him for his bad behavior.

  He was too indolent to go see who his company was, instead instructing Percival to send the visitor back to his study instead. He was amused when he saw Felicity walk in, completely readied up for the evening. She was dressed in another new dress, this one a dusty shade of purple with short puffed sleeves and floral embroidery covering the bodice, the bottom half of her skirt was covered in tucks and flounces. She had completed her ensemble by adding a pearl choker around her neck and a fan dangling delicately from her wrist.

  She sat down in the chair facing his desk, her back stiff as she said, “I have an important matter I need to discuss with you.”

  “Very well.”

  “It’s about Edith. I don’t think you should come see her anymore.”

  Elliot’s shoulders stiffened, “You can’t be serious.”

  Felicity looked at Elliot’s pain filled eyes and felt sorry for him, but not sorry enough. “I am quite serious Elliot, I grow weary of comforting her when she cries for her papa. How do I explain to her why you haven’t come and seen her lately?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “But I thought she liked my visits, I thought we got along quite nicely.”

  “She did like your visits; it’s when you left that she got upset. Look, I can live with you coming and going out of my life at your will but I will not sit back and see you do that to my daughter. I didn’t come to negotiate anything with you or to try and make you feel guilty; I simply came to tell you that I think it would be best if you stayed out of her life.”

  Elliot had thought he had already reached rock bottom, but Felicity’s announcement had made him realize that he hadn’t yet gotten as low as he could. “I can’t do that, I’m not going to be able to stay away.”

  “Seems to me you’ve had no problem staying away recently but that’s beside the point. The point is that she’s young; she’s already had to deal with a lot in her short life. She already has a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that I’m not going to abandon her; she doesn’t need to be worrying about your abandonment as well. Besides, when I remarry you won’t be able to be in her life anyway.”

  Elliot let her words sink in, feeling a rising panic at what she was implying. Her ploy all along had been to marry a gentleman of the ton who thinks she is a widow with a child. When she remarries her husband will likely choose to raise Edith with devotion, leaving him no place in either of their lives. His heart stilled, he wasn’t sure if he could handle the ramifications of such actions.

  When Elliot didn’t say anything in response Felicity rose gracefully from her chair. “Thank you for understanding.”

  Elliot finally managed to choke out, “But I don’t understand.”

  “You will someday. Good evening.” Felicity turned away from him, no longer able to stand the hurt etched on his face. She had been shocked to see his appearance so neglected. She could tell by one look at him that he was miserable but what she didn’t understand was why he chose to continue to remain in his self-inflicted misery. Couldn’t he see that none of them were happy?

  Just as she was leaving his study she heard him call out, “But I love her.”

  She stopped in the doorway and turning her head over her shoulder she whispered to him, “I know you do” before disappearing out the door.

  Elliot watched in stunned silence as she left him, this time quite possibly for the last time. When he heard the door shut close he whispered even more quietly, “But I love you too.”

  ***

  Felicity detested keeping up appearances, especially when the character she was playing was about as far from her current situation as she could get. She hated pretending like she was a widow just coming out of her mourning period, anxious and ready to socialize and eager for men’s company. Truthfully she would be more than happy to remain at home with Edith and Aunt Agnes but she knew what her duty was and she was willing to fulfill it.

  Lord Wadsworth had been making eyes at her all night while she desperately tried to pretend that she was oblivious to his attentions. When she finally had a break in dancing he marched right over and claimed her for the next set, a country dance. She was relieved that it wasn’t a waltz where she would be forced to speak face to face with the man for an uninterrupted amount of time. This way she could acceptably avoid any deep conversation and probing from him as they both passed from partner to partner, coming together briefly before separating again.

  “Lady Davenport, I had feared you were avoiding me,” He said as they began the first steps of the dance.

  Felicity laughed nervously, “Nonsense, why would I do such a thing?”

  “That’s what I was trying to figure out. I must admit I was delightfully surprised to see you tonight, I had gotten the impression at our last meeting that you were no longer going to be…” he paused searching for the right word, “available.”

  “Life’s funny like that sometimes, we never know what little surprises it holds. But as you can see, I’m very much available.” Felicity’s smile was in place but she didn’t feel sincere as she attempted to flirt with him. She inwardly cursed Elliot for ruining her for any future man; no one would ever possess her heart like he did.

  Lord Wadsworth grinned down at her and she conceded that he at least had a nice smile. “You don’t know how much it pleases me to hear that.”

  Just then she twirled down the line to her next partner, thankful for the reprieve from her pathetic and uncomfortable attempts at flirting. She momentarily looked down at her satin slippers to ensure she had the right footing before looking up just in time to meet her new partner. She gasped out loud and stumbled before recovering and looking into Elliot’s smug face. She felt like she was looking at a completely different man than the one she had seen earlier in the evening. Before he had been sullen, his blue eyes lifeless and his appearance neglected. He looked almost dangerous standing before her now, his face freshly shaved and his clothing immaculate. He was wearing a silvery blue waistcoat that showed just above the high cut of his black coat, intensifying the color of his eyes. His cravat was tied expertly in the mathematical, the snowy folds contrasting against his tanned skin and strong jaw line.

  He smiled at her mysteriously but she couldn’t decipher his mood. He leaned in close, speaking low as they came together briefly, “You should stay away from him,” he warned before the steps of the dance took her away from him once more.

  Felicity gave him a perplexed look as she mindlessly performed the steps of the dance before coming face to face with Elliot once more. “Who should I stay away from?” she asked.

  In lieu of an answer, he motioned towards Lord Wadsworth with his eyes, his head remaining straight forward the entire time. “Lord Wadsworth?” she asked incredulously.

  Elliot nodded but before she had a chance to respond she was making her way back to the man in question, Lord Wadsworth. She was oddly relieved to be back at his side and away from Elliot. Just being in his presence had caused her pulse to quicken and her heart to flutter. At one point in the dance she had gotten near enough to him to smell his shaving lotion which caused an unsettling swirl of desire to take root in her belly.

  When Lord Wadsworth reached once more for her hand she noticed the absence of emotion she felt at his touch, if anything she may have felt a twinge of repulsion. She could feel his clammy hands through her gloves and look
ing up into his face she noticed little droplets of sweat accumulating on his forehead and around his hairline. She knew that most women of the ton found him to be quite fetching, but next to Elliot he just didn’t compare.

  As the music came to an end he bowed deeply before her taking one hand in his and pressing a lingering kiss to the inside of her wrist. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from cringing. He was hesitant to let go of her hand and break contact with her as he rose.

  Straightening his shoulders he said, “I find it quite warm in here, would you like to take a stroll with me through the gardens?”

  Panic seized her chest as she had flashbacks to the last time she had been asked to stroll through the gardens by a gentleman and had obliged—the night Elliot had proclaimed his love for her, the night Edith had been conceived.

  She gnawed nervously on her lower lip trying to formulate a polite excuse that would sound sincere when she felt a hand rest shockingly on her waist. She turned in surprise to see who had dared be so forward and saw Elliot standing there, his wicked grin flashing. “I believe this next dance belongs to me.”

  Felicity turned apologetically towards Lord Wadsworth, noting the way his brows furrowed together in irritation at the interruption. “Beg pardon my lord,” then turning to Felicity, “We’ll have to take a stroll some other time.”

  Lord Wadsworth nodded curtly as Elliot pulled Felicity out onto the dance floor. The orchestra struck up the opening chords of a waltz as one of Elliot’s arms went around her waist, the other arm reaching for her hand. Felicity stood stiffly with both of her arms at her sides, unwilling to cooperate. Couples all around them on the dance floor began moving in time to the music while both of them stood there eerily still.

  “What’s going on Felicity? The dance has begun.”

  “That’s what I want to know Elliot,” she snapped, “What exactly is going on and why are you warning me to stay away from Lord Wadsworth?”

  He lowered his voice to avoid being overheard, “He’s only out to ruin you.”

  Felicity threw her head back and laughed mirthlessly. Several heads turned to stare causing Elliot’s face to heat with embarrassment. The last thing he wanted was to draw unwanted attention to them but Felicity seemed oblivious to the scene they were causing. “That’s the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. He can’t ruin me because you already have.” She laughed again, causing more heads to turn.