A Step to Nowhere

by Natasha A. Salnikova

  I heard the phone ringing and opened my eyes, returning to reality from my thoughts.

  “Yes,” Baldy said. “I’m going to be there in ten minutes.”

  He turned off the phone.

  “Who was it?” his partner asked.

  “You know who. She.”

  Slick hair nodded.

  “I need to piss,” Baldy said.

  “Now?” His partner didn’t hide his surprise.

  “I’ll be quick. I drank too much.”

  “Oh,” I moaned. “Just take me to jail already. I want to sleep.”

  I was really tired and was afraid of falling asleep before we reached the destination. I could get confused when they started pulling me from the car and look foolish. I wanted to sleep desperately. I also had a headache. Nagging, heavy pain in my temples.

  They didn’t answer. Who was I really, for them to pay attention to me? I wanted an answer. I wasn’t a human to receive one.

  The car drove off the road, through an arch, and stopped behind a stone bridge. We came into total darkness. The headlights of the car flashed on a metal fence ahead with a sign “don’t jump” on it. I couldn’t see anything else. I became nervous remembering Ray’s words about not getting to jail alive. What if they were going … to do something to me before presenting me to the law? Not that. Please, not that.

  “Did you have to come here?” the slick head grumbled.

  “I had to,” Baldy said as he opened the door and got out of the car. “There are cameras along the road.”

  I turned away from the direction of the man who got out. I heard the crickets singing and cars roaring. There were cameras along the road. What was he going to do to me? Now I was scared like never in my life. Please, not that. Please, please.

  When I heard a sound similar to a flapper hitting the wall I just startled a little, then turned my head and stayed still, terrified. The glass that was protecting people on the front seats from the criminals on the backseat, like me, had been splashed with red. The head of the man with slick hair rested against it.

  At the same moment, the door from my side opened and the bald man reached his hand for me.

  “Come out now.”

  I couldn’t move. He wanted to grab my arm, but I jerked back. He had a gun in his hand.

  “Don’t touch me!” I screamed.

  The headlights on another car that stopped nearby blinded me. I didn’t understand what was going on, but even with my eyes closed I could see blood. Were they going to kill me right now? I preferred them to do it fast, so I wouldn’t suffer.

  “She’s in shock!” the bald man yelled to someone. The door from the other side opened.

  “Sam!”

  I opened my eyes.

  “Sam, it’s Ron.”

  I turned to the voice. Yes, it was the guy who’d already saved me once today. Why was he here? What did he do?

  “Sorry for what happened earlier. How are you?” He straightened up. “She’s handcuffed.”

  “Pard!”

  The bald man walked around the car, opened the door from the side of his dead partner, and checked his pockets. A second later there was a squeak behind my back and my hands were free.

  “Sam, hurry!” Ronald yelled. “The police could be here any minute.”

  Events were happening too fast, too unpredictable, too much. I was too tired to think quickly, but my gaze fell on the bloody ornament and I gave my hand to Ronald. He helped me to get out of the car. I smelled dampness, which meant we were near the water. After I was out, the bald man shut all the doors, took the driver’s seat, and drove to the fence. As I jumped on the backseat of the second car, where Steve was the driver, I heard a loud splash. Then Ronald got in on the front seat and the bald man joined me on the backseat. I moved closer to the window from him. I didn’t know if I should cry or be excited at this moment, so I turned my mind off from its weak attempts to figure out what was happening. I leaned back on the seat and closed my eyes, when the car took off. I wasn’t interested anymore in anything that could happen next.

  “Why did you kill him?” I asked my last question when my world started to merge with another one, taking me away. Pain hammered in my temples.

  “It was him or you,” the voice next to me said. “We don’t need captives.”

  “Sam, are you okay?” Steve asked. I think it was Steve. I tried to answer, but couldn’t. I was flying farther into the darkness. From the voices, the questions, and from this strange world, I needed a break; I needed to be alone. I was so, so tired.

  “She’s had a long day, let her sleep.”

  I didn’t know who’d said that. The voice was quiet and sounded far, far away.

  CHAPTER 25

  “Sam, we’re here.”

  Somebody gently shook me by the shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw blurry faces. Where am I? Who are these people?

  “Are you okay?”

  The face became defined. Steve. So young and so caring. I wasn’t at home, I was in hell. So was my mom, looking for me.

  “I think I’m okay.”

  He helped me to get out of the car and, holding me under my arm, walked me to the small house that was separated from the others. I pulled my arm out of his grasp halfway there. I was capable of walking on my own. In the last few hours I had come to think that holding somebody under the arm meant trouble in most cases.

  “Who’s house is it?” I asked, before we entered.

  “Mine and welcome,” the man’s voice said behind my back. I turned to him. The bald giant raised his eyebrows and smiled. He didn’t look like a monster anymore, he looked like a nice (even though bald and huge) fellow.

  We entered a gray hallway with shoes lined up on the floor and a couple of uniforms on the hangers, then a room that probably was supposed to be a living area. There we sat down on the brown furniture. A white cat jumped on my knees and I gasped from the unexpectedness.

  “Marlin!” The bald man took the cat from me and dropped it on the floor. “He’s always like that with guests.”

  “It’s okay. I just didn’t expect it. I like cats.” I picked up the pet, put it back on my knees, and scratched its soft fur. The cat purred, bringing a pleasant calmness into the un-tuned world of my mind. I glanced around and noticed a few bright things. There was a blue vase on the narrow table in the corner with orange specks. Two landscape paintings hung on opposite walls from each other. A frozen river was on one and bright summer on the other. A rug of blue, green, and orange lay on the floor.

  “Is it from my planet?” I asked, tapping my foot on the carpet.

  The bald man nodded.

  “I have water from your planet,” he said as he rubbed his hands as if they had been freezing. He looked unconfident and it was strange considering his height and brutality. The last I’d witnessed not that long ago.

  “I want to try water from this planet. I hope I’ll survive. What’s your name by the way? They mentioned it, but I don’t remember. My thoughts were occupied by something else.”

  “Dan. Sorry I was rude to you … there, but she wouldn’t trust me otherwise,” the bald man said and left the room.

  “What happened. How did you find me?” I asked Ronald who was sitting on the couch with me. Steve settled in the chair opposite from us. The guys looked at each other. They probably had been just as tired as I was. Ronald’s eyes were red.

  “Dan called us.”

  “He betrayed his owner,” I mumbled thoughtfully, scratching the cat behind the ear.

  “I’m not a slave, I don’t have owners,” Dan roared over my head. I accepted a glass from his hand. “Looks like regular water.” I took a sip, swallowed, and managed to control my facial expression. “Interesting taste.”

  “It’s because of the cleaning system. They add some pard there and it makes our water barely drinkable. We buy more drinks and they say it’s good for the economy. Bullshit, as you say.” Dan sat down on the free space near me. I was now between two guys of impres
sive size. “Do you want your water or something else?”

  “Later, maybe. Thank you. It’s not too bad, just unusual for me.”

  “Dan joined us a long time ago,” Ronald said. “He’s helped a lot of people.”

  “Now my career has come to an end,” Dan said.

  “Sooner or later it would happen anyway,” Steve said.

  “I have to admit it wasn’t easy,” Dan leaned on the back of the couch. “It was harder and harder every day not to strangle her. She’s the worst person I’ve ever known. Really. Besides her daddy.”

  “You broke the system because of me?” I didn’t really feel guilty, but also I didn’t want to become the reason for destroying an organized process.

  “Sooner or later it would come to an end,” Dan said. “Max started to ask questions. We worked closely. He should have guessed something was up.”

  Bloody ornament appeared in front of my eyes again.

  “Did you have to kill him?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Dan said sharply.

  “Okay.”

  “People from Planet Two shouldn’t end up here,” Dan said. “None of you should be here for Mar’s sake.”

  “Bristow’s insane,” Steve said. “He’s getting worse. He wants to capture Planet Two now. Subdue it. Everyone now understands it. He thinks he’s Mar.”

  “What’s Mar?” I asked. “God probably?”

  “God,” Dan agreed. “She taught me a lot about your planet. Some words, too. She wanted me to go there with her. I’d never.”

  “We wanted to tell you about her,” Ronald said. I turned to him. “We just needed more time to explain things. Sorry, it came out as a surprise. We didn’t know you two would meet.”

  “How is it? Meeting your double?” Steve asked. Sparkles in his eyes. What should I tell him?

  “Not just meet your double,” I said, “but realize that she is a monster … It’s strange and terrifying. And difficult to believe that people with the same DNA can be so different. On the other hand, who knows what I would have become growing up with a father. With this father.”

  “He doesn’t know what’s coming,” Steve said as he stood up. “Dan, do you have kel?”

  “Check the fridge. Bring me one, too. Sam, what about you?”

  “What’s that?” I glanced at the water that I’d put on the coffee table. It was undrinkable.

  “I don’t know if you have it,” Dan said. “It’s like weak alcohol. We make it ourselves. Secretly. Legally, alcohol has been banned for two years.”

  “I’ll try some,” I said too quickly and the guys laughed.

  “Me too.” Ronald lifted his arm. Steve went to another room.

  “What’s coming for Bristow?” I asked. I felt uncomfortable saying my last name in that context. “Steve is the head of events,” Ronald said. “We are planning something like … a revolution. We can’t do it now, because we don’t have enough people. People are scared to join us, but it will happen.”

  “Hlifian?” I asked and Ronald nodded.

  Steve returned with four plastic bottles, filled with golden liquid. The guys started to drink, but I carefully smelled my bottle.

  “It’s beer!” I screamed and took a few gulps. Light and chilled. I smiled. I’d never liked beer, but it was offered opportunely. “Thanks! Much better than your water.”

  “Beer,” Steve mumbled. “You got it? Can you just like, buy it?”

  “Sure! Buy as much as you want.”

  “Fadie!” Steve said.

  “Hey, speak English!”

  Steve looked embarrassed, shrugged, and drank more beer. Kel. My vocabulary increased, but I hoped to have no need of it.

  “You’re tired.” Dan leaned on his knees, studying me. His blue eyes were penetrating. I wanted to hide in the corner. He looked brutal without a smile. This person saved my life … and killed his friend. Or partner? What had they been to each other?

  “I guess I am. I slept in the car on the way here though.”

  “We can’t do anything today, so you can rest as much as you want,” Dan continued. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We’ll try to send you back home.”

  “How?”

  Dan and Ronald exchanged glances.

  “We’re working on a plan,” Ronald said.

  “Okay.” I ran my hand over the cat’s back. “Thank you.”

  “There’s nothing to thank us for,” Dan said, and it sounded rude. “I put clean sheets on the bed. Catch up on your sleep.”

  I felt uncomfortable.

  “I can sleep here, on the couch.”

  “No.” Dan smiled and this smile remolded his face. “That’s my place and Marlin’s.” The cat purred. “You can find clean toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom.”

  “Wow. You took care of everything.”

  “Yes, that’s me. A caring type of guy.”

  “Some woman will be lucky to get you. But … How did you know I’d be here?”

  “I wasn’t totally sure, but I wanted to be ready.”

  “Thanks,” I said again.

  “Let’s go. I’ll show you the bedroom.” Dan stood up and I followed him, leaving the cat on the couch. The cat jumped down and tagged along.”

  “Good night, Sam,” Ronald and Steve said together.

  I followed Dan to the hallway then to the small room with its lonely bed and a flat screen TV in front of it. They didn’t excel technically from us. The spread on the bed was black, the walls were white. I wasn’t sure I could fall asleep in this bachelor pad. It looked like a vampire haunt. The bed though, seemed soft and lured my tired bones.

  “Is it okay?” Dan asked as he pushed his cat from the bed.

  “Sure. Thanks a lot.”

  “Stop thanking me. I’m going to feel uncomfortable soon. Like I’m some kind of hero. I’m not. The bathroom’s in the hallway, you’ll see it. The door is open. Your brush is red. I couldn’t find any clothes for you, but in the morning we’ll get something different.”

  I wanted to thank him again, but remembered his warning and just nodded.

  “Good night.” The giant left the room, closing the door after himself.

  I almost jumped into bed, but if I went down I wouldn’t get up. So, I walked to the bathroom, washed my face, and brushed my teeth with toothpaste that was called, “Toothpaste”. I studied the dark circles under my eyes and my messy hair in the mirror. I was a beauty out of this world. Literally. The paste was salty and I didn’t look forward to sleeping with this taste in my mouth, but when I returned to the room I found two bottles of Evian on the floor by the bed. I lay down only after I almost finished one of the bottles. Finally I felt myself like a human and not a marionette that was pulled in all directions. One more time I’d avoided death.

  “Thank you Dan. Even though you don’t want to hear it.”

  I didn’t take my clothes off, just pulled off the boots and socks, and climbed under the black blanket in my uniform.

  The bed wasn’t that soft, but also not too hard and I sprawled with pleasure. It was difficult to feel pleasure out of anything considering the situation, but I tried not to think about anything bad. Not to think about tomorrow. I wanted to watch TV and found a remote control on a wide table on one side of the bed. I figured out how it worked fast. The lottery commercial was showing on the very first channel. The main prize—a trip to my planet. To my planet, where at the moment spies followed dozens of people who didn’t suspect anything. They didn’t know that soon somebody would kidnap them, drag them into another dimension, and kill. Their families didn’t know that soon their kids or parents, siblings or friends, would be replaced by fakes. They didn’t know their life was a lottery prize.

  “Don’t think, don’t think.”

  I changed the channel to stumble upon the news. The woman on the screen was dressed in beige, her dark hair pulled back. She had gold earrings in her ears and a gold ring on her finger. So much liberty.

  “Hunters continue keepi
ng our streets clean of irnaners. Today another raid was conducted in the area of The City of Lost. A few irnaners that were hiding there had been arrested.”

  Next was a video of running and shooting people. I saw soldiers falling under the bullets. I winced. Nothing like this had happened. The video was fabricated. I wasn’t surprised though. Nothing on this planet would surprise me anymore. I probably would get a little nervous if dancing aliens entered my bedroom now. Just a little.

  “Back to the studio.” The brunette appeared on the screen again. “Today there was another attempt on the life of lottery owner, Nicolas Bristow. The suspect was arrested and is going to be prosecuted. He didn’t become one of the irnaners. Our city in the future …”

  I changed the channel. I was frustrated. I didn’t want to hear it, or see it, or think about it. This rotten planet is not my business!

  On another channel, a family of four: father, mother, daughter and son, all dressed in a light green uniform, were sitting at the table. There was something green, something white, and something orange on their plates.

  “I decided to buy a ticket today,” the man said.

  “Oh!” The woman threw up her hands theatrically. “We’re saving every penny!”

  The girl covered her mouth with her hand; the boy put his head down.

  “I believe our luck,” Father said. “We’ll win big money and buy …”

  I pressed a button and the screen turned black. I would not enjoy living on this planet. They didn’t even have normal entertainment. They didn’t even have some dumb reality show or a movie.

  I turned on my side toward the window, gazing at the branches behind it swinging in the lanterns’ light. I couldn’t fall asleep even though my bones and muscles melted into the mattress. Closing my eyes, I started to count sheep, but troublesome thoughts and memories didn’t let me concentrate even on this simple task. That woman was my exact copy outside and a monster inside. Cold, calculating, cruel. Without a dollop of sympathy or worry for the lives of other people. What did the lives of others mean for her? Just an obstacle on the way to her goal. And Ray … Who was worse? His wife or him? I wouldn’t know. She just gave orders and waited for the results. He played with people’s souls. With people’s feelings. How often had he lied to me during this short time? How many times did he play my soul like rolling the dice? He wasn’t going to save me; he pretended that he wanted to help me just to make himself look better in his own eyes. That was why he had done it. Now I understood it and shouldn’t build more illusions.