Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  “Deepak, I heard your views on marriage. I don’t want to force you into this relationship. Yes, I am traumatized. I feel disrespected, but I cannot sulk and get depressed. I have decided to move on with my life…for better or worse,” replied Roshni.

  She was heartbroken, but she decided to move on. She continued, “I would like to put in sincere efforts to fulfill Babuji’s promise, and that is why I have a plan.”

  Deepak asked, “What plan?”

  “Unfortunately, you and I will have to make a pretense of being husband and wife until next December.”

  “Pretense…what pretense?” Deepak had no clue what Roshni was talking about.

  Roshni looked at Deepak and explained, “Deepak, as I mentioned before, our relationship does not exist anymore. We are no longer husband and wife; however, we will act as if we were husband and wife until December 14th. This will give me the right to stay in your house, move along as your wife and their daughter-in-law, and also work towards fulfilling my promise.”

  Deepak listened intently, and she was lost in thought. She came back to her senses. “You will be in the US, and yes, unfortunately we will have to act as husband and wife in front of people, this society.”

  “Looks like you gave this a lot of thought. You have everything planned out, but I still…” Deepak scrambled for the right words so as not to offend her again.

  Roshni pleaded with him, “Deepak, all this is just for one year. Please, will you cooperate with me?” She looked at him. “And this is all for your brothers and your family. I would really like to fulfill the promise I made to Babuji. This is the first time he has wanted something from me, and I want to keep him happy.” She wiped her tears.

  Deepak could not help but respect and admire Roshni for her courage and loyalty. He agreed instantly to cooperate with Roshni. He wanted to see some positivity in the family; he wanted his brothers to be happy. This had always bothered him, and now, there was some hope. However, the thought of her ending the relationship bothered him. At least this will give me some time to think about it, he thought.

  Roshni looked at him with gratitude. “Thank you! Just keep in mind not to visit India until December 14th next year. By then I will have left this house, and I hope with all the changes, Sashank bhaiya will not have any problem welcoming your life partner into this family.”

  Deepak obviously had not given this serious thought – his relationship with her and their marriage. He believed in ‘core’ values, in that they went through the rituals and she was his wife, but he was not ready to accept the fact. He needed more time.

  “I hope you realize this is a great challenge. Sashank bhaiya is very stubborn,” Deepak said, looking at Roshni.

  “Yes, I saw that. The very fact you were not able to have him accept your preference in marriage is an example.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Regardless, I would like to try.”

  Deepak nodded his head in acceptance of her challenge.

  Roshni had observed enough around the house in the few days she was there after their marriage to see how the brothers behaved with each other and how disconnected they were. It was apparent to her they were sad, but it bothered her to see they would not communicate openly with each other.

  “I have something else to talk about, Deepak,” she said.

  Deepak raised his eyebrows and waited eagerly for Roshni to continue.

  “It is another request,” she said. “You are visiting India to spend some time with Sashank and Akash bhaiya, right?”

  “Yes!”

  “Then why don’t you spend quality time with them? I have not seen you with them during lunch or dinner or, for that matter, even any good conversations with your brothers.”

  Deepak was again dumbstruck at Roshni’s observations. “What do you mean?”

  Her first step was to bring the brothers together. “All I am asking is for you to spend more time with them: have meals together, involve them in lively conversations, maybe go out together. There are several ways you could spend time with them.”

  Deepak had no words for her; he listened and she talked.

  “It appears that Akash bhaiya is doing his own thing, Sashank bhaiya is busy with his activities, and you are here, but there is no interaction at all. Why?”

  “You think this is possible, I mean…all of us together at the dining table or in the living room discussing various topics as a family?” Deepak asked.

  “Certainly, have you tried?” Roshni replied very confidently.

  “No! That is how all this turned out, Roshni, all the past experiences have an impact, don’t they?”

  Roshni was not ready to give up. She insisted that Deepak take genuine interest in inviting them to the table, inviting them to participate in conversations, and cheering them up.

  Deepak was beginning to understand Roshni. She placed a lot of importance on family and the environment, and she had a point! He agreed to give his best in involving them while he was here and asked if she could help.

  “Yes, of course!” She emphasized, “Just remember, we are enacting a drama of being husband and wife. While in front of them, we are husband and wife, but while alone, we are separate.”

  “Why do you keep coming back to the same topic again and again? Both of us have goals, and let’s talk about them,” Deepak retaliated.

  They looked at each other, acknowledging the fact that both had their goals and needed to work towards them by helping each other.

  “Deepak, thank you for listening, and thank you for your cooperation,” Roshni said. “Conducting myself as your wife and a daughter-in-law while in reality I am not is certainly a challenge. I will try my best!”

  It was past midnight, and both of them retired for the night. Roshni felt relieved she’d communicated her feelings to Deepak and was thankful he listened to her patiently. She was thankful he was willing to cooperate, and this made her feel good about him. At least he appeared to be considerate and caring for others’ feelings!

  ~ ~ ~

  The next day was December 21st. Their return flight was not until the 22nd. They woke up late, being tired from the previous night.

  It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly through the curtains. Roshni pushed the curtains aside, allowing the bright rays to enter. She was at peace; in her mind she had clearly communicated her goals and decisions to Deepak. Deepak was satisfied that at least they had had some conversation and Roshni had talked to him. He had a long-term goal, and he was willing to take baby steps.

  Roshni and Deepak got ready and decided to take a walk outside since the weather was good. They had their breakfast at the restaurant, and they learned that a bus toured Jammu, so they decided to take the tour and do some sightseeing.

  After the tour, on the way back, Roshni expressed interest in looking around the shops. Deepak agreed to her request, and they strolled along the streets. The temperatures were low, and it was chilly. Men and women had shawls or sweaters on, people chatted happily, vendors hawked, women bargained in good-natured loud voices, streets were crowded with shops; the entire atmosphere was lively and jovial. The cafés were crowded; people had hot chai – very refreshing in this cold weather.

  Roshni and Deepak kept the distance between them, respecting each other’s feelings. As they walked, they watched people, and occasionally a smile came to their lips. They were in a cheerful mood. Kashmir is famous for a certain type of embroidery, and Roshni had always longed to possess a dress with that embroidery. She spotted a boutique and wanted to check out salwar kameezes. This boutique included men’s and women’s clothing, so Deepak agreed to accompany her into the store. Men’s clothing was on the first floor, and women’s clothing on the ground floor. Deepak left Roshni and went to the first floor.

  Roshni looked around and saw some beautiful salwar kameezes draped on the mannequins. She found a couple of salwar kameezes with Kashmiri embroidery, tried them on, and decided to buy them. She looked around and picked out a couple of shawls that
also had Kashmiri embroidery. In the meantime, Deepak checked out a couple of kurtas that caught his eye. As he came down with his kurtas, he met Roshni halfway on the stairs. Deepak was curious to see her go to the men’s section.

  “Roshni, did you want to look at something here?”

  Roshni looked at Deepak. “What did you select?”

  “Kurtas.”

  “Very nice, would you mind coming with me again, please?”

  Deepak had a questioning face, and Roshni explained to him that she wanted to buy kurtas for Babuji, Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya.

  Deepak had never thought of this himself. He was so proud of her and how thoughtful she was of everybody.

  He walked behind Roshni as they went upstairs. Roshni asked for cotton kurtas and pointed to Deepak for the sizes for all three men. Deepak and Roshni went back and forth and finally selected three kurtas.

  After making their selections, Roshni looked at Deepak. “Deepak, these are very typical Kashmiri designs, and the prices are reasonable. Do you have any friends in the US you want to take any gifts? These would make good gifts,” she suggested.

  Deepak completely fell for her. She not only thought of the family but reminded him of his friends in the US! “Thank you for reminding me. Yes, I have just one close friend, Vivek, that I could get something.” He picked out one more kurta for Vivek.

  Roshni informed Deepak that she had bought a shawl for Kaki, and suddenly she paused for a second, “Deepak, is this friend of yours married, I mean, what about his wife?”

  “Haan yes, would you please pick up something for her?”

  They discussed it, Roshni and Deepak concluded that a shawl would be a good gift because Vaishali could wear it with any dress she wore. He finally bought a shawl for Vaishali.

  After a few minutes, Deepak asked, “Roshni, are you done? Shall we pay?”

  Deepak gave the salesperson all the kurtas he’d selected, but Roshni gave him only two shawls to be included in the same bill. Deepak wondered why she didn’t include the dresses.

  “Roshni, give him everything that you have; we will have one bill,” he said.

  “No, these are my dresses and shawls. I will pay for them,” replied Roshni.

  Deepak insisted he would pay and asked her to give them all to the salesperson, but she was adamant. She did not want those to be included; she wanted to pay for her own dresses. Deepak got irritated at Roshni but did not create a scene in the store. He paid and she paid.

  It was at this time that Deepak actually looked at the dresses she bought and blurted out, “Absolutely gorgeous,” and he looked at her.

  She had good taste, no doubt. She had worn beautiful dresses, and he had noticed.

  They returned to the room. Roshni was irritated at Deepak for insisting on paying.

  “Deepak, you don’t have to pay for my dresses,” she spoke angrily as she laid the clothes they purchased on the bed.

  “Roshni, why are you making such a big deal of it? It’s all right.”

  “It is not all right; I am not your wife, so why do you pay?”

  Deepak was shocked, but looked back at her calmly. “Roshni, why are you doing this? I know we have stress in our relationship, and I am responsible for it. All I’m asking is for some time to sort things out. Can I ask for some understanding and patience, please? You’ve been handling everything so maturely and so professionally, so why not now? Please!” he pleaded.

  Roshni was aware Deepak was agitated and angry, and anything she said aggravated him. She decided to be quiet. She went into the room and packed all that was bought; she left the kurtas for Deepak to pack.

  Deepak was right. She handled other things very maturely, then why not now…with this relationship.

  ~ ~ ~

  They returned to Mumbai the next day. Deepak updated Sashank regarding the wonderful darshan and the hotel stay, and thanked Sashank for making such good arrangements for them.

  After their arrival, Roshni and Deepak distributed the gifts to everybody, and they thanked them for being so thoughtful. Deepak looked at Roshni and thanked her with gestures, and she acknowledged him.

  It was 6 p.m., and Akash was ready to leave for a satsangh. Roshni stopped him and started a conversation. She looked at Deepak and hinted at him. Deepak remembered the request Roshni had regarding spending time with family, and he directly requested Akash to stay and spend time with everybody at home since he was in India for only a few more days.

  He also asked his brothers at the dinner table to spend time together as a family while he was still here. Sashank and Akash smiled and agreed. Kaki noticed this from the kitchen; she was glad that Sashank and Akash agreed. Over the next couple of days, all the brothers spent time together. Deepak promptly saw the impact this had on him and his brothers, and he thanked Roshni at an opportune time for bringing this to his attention. It was December 26th, and Deepak had to return to the US.

  Chapter 7

  Deepak Returns to the US after the Wedding

  December 26th

  Deepak’s flight was late at night; he called his friend Vivek that morning to confirm he was coming to the airport to pick him up. Since Vivek was not available, Deepak left a message for him to call back. He looked at all his clothes and parcels lying on the bed. He had made an attempt to pack the previous day but was not successful. He decided to have chai first, always a refreshing beverage, then pack.

  Roshni was in the kitchen, and she offered chai to Deepak. Sashank was at the dining table, reading the newspaper and enjoying the bright sunlight. He noticed Deepak and asked if he had finished packing. Deepak answered in the negative, saying that he was not able to accommodate everything so he would have to repack.

  Sashank suggested asking for Roshni’s help. Roshni overheard this conversation from the kitchen, and she was not very thrilled, but agreed to help. Roshni opened the bedroom door and was flabbergasted to see all the items spread all over the bed and floor. Deepak is definitely not good at packing, she thought.

  Roshni sorted out things to pack. Deepak had to attend to a couple of telephone calls and moved to the balcony. In the meantime, Roshni managed to pack everything. Deepak returned to the room and was surprised – no more mess. He was awed once again; her efficiency was remarkable.

  “Thank you, Roshni, this was a great help. Thank you.” He smiled. He weighed the suitcases, and they were within weight constraints. “Perfect, excellent job, Roshni. Thank you!” He smiled at her again.

  Roshni took this opportunity and brought out an envelope. “Deepak, this is for you.”

  Deepak wondered, And what is in this envelope?

  Roshni handed over the envelope and mentioned she had the power of attorney.

  Deepak looked at Roshni and the envelope. “What is this for?” It did not occur to him at that time that the power of attorney was made to help him with Roshni’s immigration.

  “For our divorce!”

  It felt like somebody dropped a huge rock on Deepak. His only reaction was, “What?”

  “I do not know the formalities for divorce in India or the US, but I heard obtaining a divorce in the US is easy. I am sending the power of attorney with you so you can apply there. You can sign on my behalf wherever necessary on the separation papers.” She sighed. “You don’t have to bother sending the papers to me.”

  She was serious!

  They looked at each other, and Roshni’s eyes were moist. “Deepak, you are free from my side. I don’t need anything. You can apply for divorce and get married to any woman you like.”

  Deepak’s head was spinning. He was completely at a loss for words and did not know what to say to her.

  Deepak came to her. “And why did you do this? What if Sashank bhaiya came to know? Did I not say that I needed some time to put things in perspective? Can you please be patient and not take such drastic actions?” he pleaded again.

  “Deepak, I might not get this opportunity to talk to you again. I wanted to be clear at my end.
I did not want to have any misunderstandings or lack of communication.”

  Deepak stared at her. He wanted to hug her and genuinely apologize to her, but she moved away from him, anguished, and there was nothing he could do to comfort her. He was dejected. Not knowing how to react, he walked away angry and disturbed.

  He was unhappy but could not discuss this with anybody at home. He desperately wanted to let out his feelings but could not. What could he do? Who could he talk to? He was angry at himself, at Roshni, and he got out of the house. He needed some ‘alone’ time. Roshni watched him leave; she knew he was very troubled.

  Roshni left the papers on his hand bag, and she noticed the bracelets (kangans) lying on his carry-on bag. They remained where he’d left them on the wedding night. She placed them securely in a small bag and left a note: “Deepak, these belong to your wife. Please give them to her.” She left the kangans in his suitcase and went to the kitchen.

  ~ ~ ~

  Deepak went on a long walk and returned a couple of hours later, much calmer. Sashank reminded him to check for his passport, tickets, etc. He nodded and went to his room. Roshni was folding some clothes in the room; she noticed him but was quiet. She was prepared not to go to the airport to see him off.

  After lunch, Deepak was still perturbed and went back to his room. He paced back and forth. He was tormented by what Roshni had done; he could not believe it!

  At about 5 p.m., Kaki and Roshni served chai to everybody. Prashant called to check if he could visit Deepak before he left, and Sashank invited him to join them for dinner and then accompany them to the airport. Prashant agreed.

  Roshni went into the kitchen to help Kaki with the dinner preparations. They had half an hour before dinner, and Deepak wanted to talk to Roshni, but with Prashant and others around, he could not. Deepak gestured to Roshni that he wanted to talk to her, and she saw there was lot of hustle around, so she suggested they talk after dinner.