Pink Flamingoed

by Steve Demaree

  Brad ignored Amy’s question and asked another.

  “And in the two months that we’ve known each other, how many times have we been out on a date?”

  “Does church count as a date?”

  “Afraid not.”

  “How about dinner at Frank and Cora’s?”

  “Uh-uh.”

  “Dinner at my place?”

  “Nope.”

  “Then I’d say somewhere around zero.”

  “A round zero is correct, Dr. Watson, and I think someone as pretty as you needs to go out from time to time. Does this burg have a fine restaurant by any chance?”

  “Well, there’s the diner a couple of blocks down the street. You know, the place I told you Allison and I went to lunch.”

  “I said a fine restaurant.”

  “Well, Martinelli’s is pretty good.”

  “And would the young lady like to be my valentine dinner date at Martinelli’s?”

  “The church is having a valentine dinner, the Saturday night before Valentine’s Day, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

  “And I would be delighted to take you there, as well, but I still want to take you out for Valentine’s Day. I don’t want you to get the opinion that I’m as much of a skinflint as Harry is.”

  “Well, that thought did cross my mind.”

  “I beg your pardon.”

  “I was just kidding. Are you really serious about going to Martinelli’s? The menu is a tad bit pricey.”

  “And my valentine is a tad bit special.”

  “Okay, then, I’d love to go. However, if we’re going, you need to make a reservation soon. While the place does hold around one hundred people, everyone in town knows it’s the place to go if you want to impress someone.”

  “Just leave it to me. I’ll make the reservation as soon as I get back to the house.”

  “Oh, Brad. I’m so happy.”

  “Uh-oh. Does that mean that you’re going to call Cora so that everyone in the neighborhood will know about our date before noon?”

  “I’m not sure about everyone. I’m sure that Norman is fast asleep.”

  “Or dead. You still haven’t seen him, have you?”

  “Never.”

  “I wonder if Kenny would like to do some snooping for us.”

  “Don’t you dare, Brad! You’ll get us both kicked out of the church.”

  “Excommunicated, I believe they call it.”

  As Brad went home to call Martinelli’s to make a reservation for the fourteenth, Amy rushed to the phone to call Cora.

  “Oh, Cora, oh Cora!”

  “Is something wrong, Amy?”

  “No, something is very right!”

  “He didn’t ask you to marry him, did he?”

  “Of course not, but he did ask me out on a date.”

  “Well, it’s about time. No, it’s way past time. Where are you going?”

  “We’re going to Martinelli’s for Valentine’s Day!”

  “So are we! Frank made our reservation yesterday. You don’t mind if we’re there, too, do you?”

  “Absolutely not! I’m sure Brad had no intention of booking the entire restaurant just for us.”

  “I’m so excited for you. A date at last. Well, Amy, I guess I’d better go practice.”

  “Practice what, Cora?”

  “Looking in two directions at once. Since Frank cares enough to take me there, I must keep one eye on him, but then I’ll want to keep one eye on the two of you.”

  “I don’t think I’ll tell Brad that you’re going to be there, too. I wouldn’t want him to change his mind.”

  +++

  While “Moses” was mentioned once or twice at church the following Sunday and “handsome” was not mentioned at all, most of the conversations were about Valentine’s Day, either the dinner at church or where everyone was going on the fourteenth. Brad glanced at Cora. The look in her eye when she stalked Harry after church alerted all snoopers that Harry would soon be dead meat.

  “So, Harry, where are you taking Ethel for Valentine’s Day?” Cora asked.

  “We’re thinking about coming to the dinner at the church. How much is it?”

  “It’s fifteen dollars a couple, but that’s not what I asked you.”

  “I don’t know if we can afford fifteen dollars.”

  “What kind of flowers did you say you wanted at your funeral, Harry?”

  “Oh, Cora. You’re always making it tough on me, and you’re not even my wife.”

  “That’s right! I must remember to thank God for that. But anyway, someone has to take up for Ethel. I’d hate to see her be the only wife who’s not going out for Valentine’s Day, just because she’s married to a skinflint.”

  “Okay, Cora. We’ll come to the church dinner.”

  “Of course, you will, Harry, but that’s not what I asked you. Where are you taking Ethel on Valentine’s Day?”

  “Oh, we’re going to celebrate it, too.”

  “Harry said we can order pizza. He says it’s so romantic,” Ethel said as she walked up and overheard the conversation.

  “Pizza? Well, I never,” Cora responded.

  “Well, you should sometime, Cora. Pizza’s really good,” Harry said, still not knowing when to keep his mouth shut around Cora.

  “All you’re going to order is pizza?” Cora asked.

  “Oh, no, Cora. Harry said that since it was Valentine’s Day, we could have breadsticks, too.”

  “Ethel, would you excuse Harry and me for a minute, while I decide whether or not Harry will still be alive to celebrate Valentine’s Day?”

  Cora gave Ethel a chance to walk away before she lit into Harry again.

  “Harry, if you don’t want Ethel to be a widow, then you’d better call Martinelli’s today and make a reservation for Valentine’s Day.”

  “But, they’re so expensive.”

  “How would you know? You’ve never been there.”

  “But someone told me they were.”

  “And now, Harry, someone has told you that you’re going there to find out for yourself. Now, are you going home and make a reservation right after church, or should I call the mortuary and make arrangements?”

  “Oh, Cora.”

  “Don’t, ‘oh Cora’ me, Harry. And Frank and I will be there that night, too, so I’ll know whether you took Ethel there or not.”

  “There’s always the possibility that we might miss each other.”

  “On Valentine’s Day Martinelli’s has only one seating. We won’t miss each other. Who knows, Harry? We might be unlucky enough to sit next to each other.”

  +++

  The evening of the church valentine dinner arrived. There were couples, singles, and children; three children, to be exact. Everyone dined on a spaghetti with meatballs dinner, complete with a garden salad, French bread with garlic butter, and German chocolate cake for dessert.

  “Hey, Rothrock, are you and Amy going to suck on the same strand of spaghetti until you meet in the middle?” Kenny asked.

  “Listen, Kensington, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. After all, look at what it did for Lady and the Tramp.”

  “I guess I’m just not into pressing lips with a girl.”

  “That time will soon be here, my young friend.”

  “Hey, Brad, tell me something. The first time you, you know, kissed a girl, did your noses get in the way?”

  “Absolutely! That’s what practice is for.”

  “Yeah, but who do you practice with? I’m not about to kiss some other guy, and my mom and my sisters are out of the question.”

  “Kensington, my boy, there’s a good chance the young lady will have no more kissing experience than you’ve had, so you’ll do okay when the time comes.”

  “So, Rothrock, tell me this. Has the time come for you to kiss Amy, yet?”

  “That, my dear Kensington, is for me to know and you to never find out.”

  “So, you have, huh. Cool!”

&n
bsp; +++

  People marvel at how an upscale dining establishment like Martinelli’s can draw enough business in a small town like Hopemont. Two things make that possible. The first reason is that most people in Hopemont make enough money to enjoy an occasional night out at Martinelli’s. But the most important reason is that Martinelli’s has such a good reputation that the restaurant can draw people from as far as Lexington, an hour away. Mention Martinelli’s to someone three counties away and a smile immediately appears on that person’s face.

  +++

  Amy heard the doorbell and rushed to the door. She opened it and there stood Brad, but not the Brad she had come to know. His opened overcoat revealed that Brad had on a black suit with a white shirt and a red tie. She had never seen him so dressed up. Brad looked at the beautiful young woman in the emerald green velvet dress with a strand of pearls around her neck. He was impressed.

  “My, don’t you look nice?” Amy exclaimed.

  “You look pretty good, yourself,” Brad said, returning the compliment.

  “So, are we ready to go?”

  “Not quite,” Brad said, as he reached over and picked up a dozen red roses from where he had hidden them.

  Amy’s mouth flew open.

  “Does that mean that you approve of the flowers?”

  Amy could only nod.

  “Well, I guess I could stand here and hold them for a while, or you could put them in water. That is, unless you want to take them with you to Martinelli’s.”

  Amy regained her composure, turned to find a vase.

  After Amy had placed the roses in a vase, she returned and asked, “Okay, Mr. Holmes, are we ready to go now, or do you have another surprise?”

  “Well, let’s just say that we’re not quite ready to go.”

  “What is it this time? More flowers?”

  “No.”

  “Well, what then?”

  “What’s your hurry? Do you have to be back by a certain time?”

  “No, but the dinner begins at 8:00. Are you driving or am I?”

  “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “No, I’m not driving and neither are you.”

  “So, are we going with Frank and Cora?”

  “No, they pulled out just as I walked over.”

  “Well, then, are we walking?”

  “No.”

  “Are we playing twenty questions?”

  “I don’t know. Are we? You’re the one asking all of the questions.”

  “You know I don’t like you knowing more than I do.”

  “I know, and I’m enjoying this.”

  “How well I know. So, how else are we going to get there? Don’t tell me you rented a limo.”

  “No, nothing like that.”

  “Well, for a minute there I wasn’t sure, considering you dressed up and you brought me roses.”

  “Well, you dressed up, too.”

  “Yes, but I didn’t bring you roses. Come on, are you going to tell me, or not?”

  “No.”

  Amy tried to think of a reply, but her thoughts were interrupted.

  “What in the...?”

  Amy heard the sound of horses’ hooves, and turned and looked in the direction the sound came from. Her mouth flew open as she gazed at the white horse that clopped and the white carriage that rolled down Aylesford Place behind it. Before Amy could speak again, the horse and carriage passed by, turned, and stopped in front of her house.

  “I believe we’re ready now, Miss Twenty Questions,” Brad said, unable to suppress his grin as he extended his arm for Amy.

  “Oh, Brad,” Amy exclaimed, as she grabbed him and kissed him. “You ordered a carriage for us?”

  “No, I met this guy the other day and he asked me for the best place to exercise his horse. I told him our street didn’t have much traffic.”

  “Well, we can’t go yet. I have to get a few photographs of the carriage.”

  “Photographers!”

  “Authors!”

  Amy quickly grabbed her camera, took some pictures, and decided to take the camera with her. Brad helped Amy into the carriage, then climbed aboard. The driver turned and Brad motioned for him that it was okay to go. As Brad and Amy cuddled and huddled under the blanket the carriage company provided, Amy turned to Brad and said, “I wish you would’ve let me know. I would’ve bought some glass slippers for the occasion.”

  “Sometimes, it’s best if a woman is surprised.” Brad said.

  As much as she hated to admit it, Amy knew that was the truth.

  +++

  Frank and Cora were among the first to arrive at Martinelli’s. To Cora, it was much like arriving early at the Academy Awards, only she had a front row seat. Seated near the door, Frank and Cora could see everyone as they arrived. Cora was eager to see how much of Aylesford Place booked reservations at Martinelli’s for that night. Cora knew of only one couple who was expected, and another couple who had better be there. She soon learned of a third.

  “Well, Jim. Good to see you. I think this is the first time we’ve seen you since Christmas,” Frank said, as he greeted his neighbor from across the street.

  “The prodigal husband has returned. It’s good to be home. I’ve been on the road a lot, so I promised Kathy that I would definitely be home for Valentine’s Day. This is my treat to her for being away from her so much this winter.”

  “Well, it’s good to see you. I hope you’ll get to be home more often.”

  “Me, too.”

  “And me, too,” Kathy said, as she smiled at her husband and wrapped her arms around his left arm as they turned to be seated.

  Cora elbowed Frank when Harry and Ethel arrived.

  “Well, Harry. It’s so good of you to bring Ethel here to celebrate Valentine’s Day,” Cora said, ignoring the dirty look Harry gave her.

  “Harry, remember to pull out Ethel’s chair for her when you get to the table, and don’t stuff any food in your pockets when you leave. And, oh, by the way, that cloth thing by the silverware is a napkin. And about that silverware, start with the smallest fork first. Work your way from the outside in.”

  Harry, relieved when he found out their table was on the other side of the room from Frank and Cora’s table, nudged Ethel to their table.

  After they left, Frank spoke. “You shouldn’t be so tough on the old boy, Cora.”

  “Somebody has to, Frank. If it wasn’t for me being tough on the old boy, Ethel would be sitting at home eating a pepperoni pizza, and Harry would have insisted that they save half of it for tomorrow night.”

  Couple by couple the residents of Aylesford Place made their entrance.

  “Hello, Barney, Bertha. Barney, those black pants really bring out the color in your red socks,” Cora commented. “And how appropriate they are for Valentine’s Day.”

  “See, Honey Bun. I told you Cora would compliment my outfit,” Barney said, as he turned to Bertha, and then headed off to their table as they made room for their pastor to pass by.

  “Scott and Nancy. So good to see both of you,” Cora said. “Who’s babysitting tonight?”

  “Mallory said she’d try to keep an eye on her brother,” Scott replied.

  “You’d better pay her well, then, because that’s a big job.”

  Soon, Melanie came in leading a date, smiled at Cora, and headed to a table in the adjoining room.

  “Where are Brad and Amy?” Cora asked apprehensively.

  No sooner were the words out of her mouth when she saw the young couple enter the restaurant.

  “Oh, Frank. Don’t they look divine? They remind me of you and me at that age.”

  “Were we ever that age, Cora? Well, how’s the most handsome couple here tonight?” Frank asked, as Brad and Amy passed by their table.

  “We’re going to have to watch it, Amy. We’re only two tables away from Cora. We must remember to whisper. We don’t want everything to get around the neighborhood by tomorrow morning.”

  “I don’t t
hink you have anything to worry about, Brad. The neighborhood’s all around you tonight,” Cora replied. “But just in case, Frank, would you mind changing seats with me? It seems this couple is sitting behind me and that class I took in lip reading is finally going to pay off.”

  Everyone had been seated. Frank looked up and saw Harry heading toward his and Cora’s table. The tightwad looked panicky. Harry knelt down beside Cora and whispered to her.

  “Cora, you got me into this. There are no prices on the menu. Is it okay if Ethel and I just split a chicken dish? We don’t usually eat a lot at night.”

  “Harry, get ahold of yourself. You picked up the wrong menu. The man’s menu has prices on it, but the woman’s menu doesn’t. Now go back over there and order. Be sure and get two entrees and you’d better not get the two cheapest things on the menu.”

  It had been a few minutes since Brad pulled out Amy’s chair, waited for her to be seated, and then took his seat across from her. The two of them sat and stared at each other until Brad broke the silence.

  “I guess we’d better look over the menu,” Brad suggested.

  After both of them had perused the menu, Brad asked, “Do you have any idea what you want?”

  “No, it all looks so good,” Amy replied. “Why don’t you order for both of us?”

  “As you wish, my dear. As they say, the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach.”

  “I believe they say that about a man.”

  “But just perchance, they might be wrong this time,” Brad said, as he reached out and caressed Amy’s hand which she had moved across the table as if her hand was searching for his.

  When their server came over to take their order, Amy was impressed when Brad ordered chateaubriand for two, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and braised new potatoes. After they had ordered, Amy asked Brad if he would excuse her for a few minutes while she snapped pictures of their neighbors.

  +++

  Halfway through the meal Cora turned to her husband. “Frank.”

  “Yes, dear.”

  “Would you be a dear and go to the restroom?”

  “I don’t understand. I don’t have to go to the restroom.”