LIGHTS IN THE SHADOW

by Rana Demiriz

  He closed his eyes as he sniffed my hair. His lips trailed down to my face. I could hear my heart frantically beating in my chest. The thought that he could also hear it frightened me. This was the quietest and most meaningful moment of my life, so I closed my eyes and cherished it.

  I opened my eyes as someone knocked on the door. Alejandro didn’t move. I thought he didn’t hear it for a brief moment, but maybe he just hoped that whoever was on the door would leave if we didn’t answer. However, the insistent knocking on the door kept getting louder. He opened his eyes and frowned. Now the stars deep inside his eyes gave their place to slight darkness. I was surprised by how quickly his eyes changed color. In a sense, the way his eyes reflected his emotions so easily was his weak point.

  I forced myself to let him go and decided to get back on the bed, but I noticed my white dress was a complete mess as I lowered my head. I didn’t want to lie back in the bed when I was covered in dirt, so I just moved away from Alejandro and stood beside him.

  “Come in!” said Alejandro to whoever was on the door. The door opened, and a blond man in black walked in. He seemed so young. He was probably just a couple of years older than I was.

  “I’m sorry to bother you. How good to see you’re finally awake!” he said, turning to me. His voice sounded familiar, somehow. This was the same man who had been talking before I woke up.

  “What is it?” Alejandro said with an annoyed tone.

  The guy probably didn’t expect Alejandro to be so angry because he seemed surprised. “W-w-we…” he mumbled.

  “I asked you a question,” Alejandro yelled once again.

  The young man cleared his throat. “Ma-master… We couldn’t control Athena. She is furious. Actually, she is too furious even by her standards.”

  “Did Athena choose the side with Darkness?” I asked, trying to look surprised. I heard Athena’s name was mentioned when I was unconscious, but that was the least of my problems. Athena was a very smart deity, according to the myths and if she was on Darkness’ side, then it was their gain. Athena, Zeus’s favorite daughter, was born out of his father’s head. I was dying to know how that happened.

  “Yes, Athena chose the Darkness,” Alejandro said. He said it like it was something completely sensible, which made me wonder how things worked around here for years.

  “Then why are you so angry?” I asked.

  “She is just a little bit… whimsical,” the guy said, trying not to laugh at his own choice of words.

  “And also a bit jealous,” said Alejandro thoughtfully.

  “Jealous? Jealous of what?”

  They both looked at my face, wearily. “You, of course.”

  “What? Is Athena jealous of me?” I yelled.

  “No, you’re wrong, darling. What made you think such nonsense?” said a woman’s voice. And after that, an unearthly beautiful woman walked in. Her sandals were reaching up to her knees. The cliché of goddesses in white dresses was invalid in this case. Her one-shoulder black dress was also knee-high. Her curly hair was caressing her hips, and her eyes were framed with a very thick and long black liner. Her eyes gleamed with intelligence, and she was truly worthy of her title. She really did look like a goddess of war. The angle of her chin was proof of her pride.

  “So you’re The Divine Being? The great Savior! Couldn’t they send someone prettier or maybe more intelligent?”

  “Athena!” said Alejandro, his voice served as a warning.

  She was so beautiful that I couldn’t help but wonder why Alejandro wasted time by embracing me instead of her. I was so sick of these thoughts, the awkward situations, and the snippy people. Everybody treated me as if I was from a whole other planet even though we both shared the same world.

  “You’re right, Athena. I don’t belong here. I curse the day I was brought into this mess, and I didn’t choose this!” I said, ignoring Alejandro.

  Her dark eyes were burning with fire. “Nobody asked you! Why would we even need a Divine Being? Like gods and goddesses are not enough!”

  “Enough!” Alejandro yelled. Even though his voice made me hesitate for a moment, I didn’t give up.

  “You’re right. My existence was probably a mistake, Athena. I’m not proud of being The Divine Being. I’m not even happy about it. I would change this if I could.”

  “I wish you could, maybe then…”

  “Athena, I said enough!” Alejandro shouted. His angry voice echoed through the room. I could almost see that the blond guard’s legs were shaking, but Athena didn’t even move a muscle. She kept her silence in cold blood.

  “I’m just saying, Alejandro. We don’t need her. Just let her go. I don’t understand why you insist so much. We can make it without her. We can win.”

  He took a step towards Athena. His voice was pretty loud and angry. “You’re wrong, Athena. You speak like you don’t know the prophecy. How can you be so sure about this?”

  But Athena was not going to give up that easily. “I’m sure because of my thousand years' worth of experience. I have seen countless wars, droughts, and prosperity.”

  This was another mystery for me, but I was not the center of attention anymore. It was best to stay behind. I didn’t want to be the lamb caught between the fight of two lions.

  Alejandro warded off Athena’s words with a hand gesture. “Your experiences do not affect that damned prophecy!” he roared at Athena.

  Athena kept her voice calm, yet I could still see the flames burning hot behind her eyes. “It’s your choice. Then we should…”

  Alejandro showed the door as an answer. “You may leave if you like. I’m not going to force you! But she stays here with me! Do you understand? She is staying and that is my final answer.”

  His eyes were black as the winter night skies. I didn’t want to see him angry. Right now, I just wanted to hide under the bed and never came out again.

  “We lost Hera; if we also lose my father, then we are surely a lost cause. Is she going to save us?”

  “Yes, she will,” said Alejandro. Just when I was about to say something, I decided that to stay out of this. It was the best thing to do right now.

  She glanced at me. “And how exactly is she going to do that? She is not that smart. Besides, she isn’t even pretty enough.”

  “The years must have taken a lot from you, Athena. Your eyes fail to see the bear truth.”

  My heart started to beat faster with that funny feeling, but it seemed to step on Athena’s nerves. “What did you say?” she said.

  “Apparently, you are also hard of hearing!” He was outright mocking Athena. No, actually, he wasn’t. He was just defending me. At first, he defended me against myself, and now he was doing the very same thing to Athena.

  “Enough! No one can make fun of Athena! And that girl is going to leave.”

  I thought I heard the doors slamming and the chandeliers swung, but it was just how angry she was. I saw the blondie sneak out, and I backed out a little further.

  “Make her leave Athena. Go on, just try it!” said Alejandro. Athena squinted but didn’t answer back. “I’m the Master of Darkness. I call all the shots here. You can either deal with it and shut up or you can take your armor with you and get the hell out!” When she kept her silence, he added: “So? Are you staying or leaving?” It was pretty obvious which lion had won the fight.

  “I’m staying, but that doesn’t mean I have to endure her. I have some conditions. I don’t want to see her, so she can’t be in the same room with me. She can’t even do so much as passing by my chambers, and she can’t eat the same food as me.”

  Why was all this hatred? What did I do to deserve to be treated like a dog?

  “Accepted,” Alejandro said without even hesitating. I was going to answer, but then I held my tongue. She was going to pay for this.

  Athena left the room, flipping her hair, before saying anything else. I was relieved about not being targeted by her piercing eyes anymore. I felt the tension level in the room droppe
d. We were once again alone with Alejandro. My eyes filled with unshed tears. What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment?

  “I wish you didn’t hear all this,” said Alejandro kindly. He moved towards me. He didn’t seem like the same person who had been yelling around for the past couple of minutes.

  “Me too.” I was trying to calm my shaking voice. I wasn’t prepared for compassion.

  “Believe me, she is just jealous,” he was taking careful steps towards me, just like a hunter who didn’t want to scare off the bird he was after.

  “Why did you accept her terms?” I asked directly.

  “She would’ve left if I didn’t accept it. I can’t afford to lose Athena, Mia. She was right. If Zeus doesn’t join us, we’re doomed.”

  Oh, of course…

  “So that’s why you accepted her deal. I can understand. I’m neither beautiful nor smart. How am I going to save you all by myself, right? Even I don’t know how.”

  He reached out his hand. I took a step back. My hip touched one of the nightstands. “No, Mia. You misunderstood me. I didn’t mean…”

  “Now you’re going to tell a couple of lies to deceive me like Rio, right? I don’t want to hear any more lies, not from anyone!” I meant my tone to be angry, but my voice came out weak.

  “Mia, I…” I lowered my eyes and focused on his shoes. I was afraid to lose my control and cry in front of him.

  “If you have any respect for me, please get out.”

  “Please, listen.”

  I raised my hand between us. I could almost touch him. “Get out, please.”

  He took a step back. “All right then, tomorrow morning we…”

  I lowered my hand and held on to the nightstand. “Alejandro, please.”

  He moved towards the door and got out of the room in an elegant motion. I was in a bad place when I heard the door closed.

  Everybody was insulting and looking down on me. What kind of a Divine Being was I? What kind of a Savior? How could I be the person they believed me to be? I was a standing joke! My pride couldn’t handle this anymore. I was supposed to go to some other place where I wasn’t Dark or Light and just Mia: The college student. I had dreams; I was going to finish school and find a job. I was going to be happy with my sisters. Maybe I could even have a husband and children, or I could just settle down in a coastal town. But now, all of my dreams, my emotions, my trust, and pride were falling apart. Neither Alejandro nor Rio answered my prayers.

  I caught my reflection in the mirror. I wasn’t crying anymore. I was hurt, angry, and exhausted. I looked at my reflection again. My dress was no longer white but a dirty brown. It was even torn from the skirt. There were dried bloodstains on its collar. My mascara was smudged all over my face, and I had deep purple circles under my eyes. I bet I had dirt stuck in my hair. I seemed so filthy. I took two steps forward and examined the bandage on my neck. It wasn’t that big.

  A slight headache starting to grow distracted me. I needed to clean, relax a little bit and think. I reached for the door just beside the nightstand. I opened the door to find a big bathroom. The walls and floors were a mix of black and green granite. You could see the veins of the stone from place to place under the light, and the bathtub, which was big enough to fit five people inside. It was purely made of black marble. I turned on the water and filled the tub. I took off all of my clothes, and when I couldn’t see my reflection on the steamed mirrors, I let myself sink in the water.

  When I cleaned up a little bit and started to feel better, the only thing that occupied my mind was running away from all this mess, alone; to a place where no one could find me.

  CHAPTER 18

  When I woke up, I fidgeted in the bed even though I slept well. When I stretched my hand, I touched something hard and smooth. Someone else! I jumped off the bed, screaming. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked at the other side of the bed. I shook off the last bits of sleep. Alejandro was lying face down in the bed with the sheet covering half of his body, exposing his muscular arms and back. As for me? I looked down. Fortunately, I was dressed. After I got out of the shower, I wore the black -just like the marbles, furnishers, drapes, and the rest of the room- nightgown, which was placed on the foot of the bed for me. It fit me perfectly.

  Alejandro woke up to my screaming and looked at me confusedly. I felt compelled to attack, taking advantage of the sleepy and defenseless look in his eyes.

  “What are you doing here? How dare you? What kind of a man are you? You disgust me! How…” He interrupted me.

  “Actually, I’m the one who needed to be asking questions right now. This is my chamber and my bed. All of the other rooms are occupied. What did you expect me to do? Sleep on the marble floor? Besides, I couldn’t have just let you know that I was here. You were so angry earlier, and when I came to the room, you were already asleep.”

  Yes, he had a few points but still…“You disgust me! Don’t ever do that again! Never! You gave me an awful fright!”

  He straightened up. He swung his feet down the bed and turned his back to me. The only thing I could see was his muscular back. “Maybe you’re just afraid of me, instead of being disgusted.”

  The darkness of his tone startled me. “I’m not afraid of anyone,” I said, trying to seem as determined as possible. He shrugged like he didn’t care what I said. He reached for the black t-shirt on the foot of the bed. As he put on his t-shirt, I watched every muscle on his back move in harmony. I tried to turn my eyes away, but it was impossible.

  He got up and looked into my face from the other side of the bed. “I may be the Master of Darkness, but I’m still an honorable man.”

  I squint my eyes. “Damn you!” I whispered. I guess I had to accept my defeat. The corner of his lips slightly turned upwards. He slowly looked at me from head to toe.

  “Black suits you,” he said suggestively with the same warmth on his face.

  “Shut it!” I said, and went to the bathroom to avoid him.

  I spend time in the bathroom as long as possible. I didn’t feel ready to come out and face him. What was I going to say to him face to face? What were we going to talk about? I was his prisoner. This thought made me hesitate for a moment. He was still in the room, judging by the sounds. I couldn’t spend any more time here, hiding like a coward.

  The sight of him took my breath away as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom. Instead of the crew-neck t-shirt, he decided to wear a V neck black t-shirt. It fit perfectly with his black pants. He was still checking me out with his shadow grey eyes with my nightgown on. There was nothing off-putting about his glance, but I was still disturbed. I crossed my arms on my chest.

  “Are there any suitable clothes around here? Possibly not black? Surely I’m not going to run around in a nightgown all day.”

  “Of course, there are. Eva!” He shouted. The door opened the moment he called her name. Eva turned her eyes from Alejandro to me. She was a little bit surprised when she saw me, but she tried to hide it. I knew what everyone was going to think. Damn it! Go to hell, Alejandro!

  “What is your wish, master?” said Eva. She was wrapped in black leather again, looking like the cat woman without her mask. She was threatening yet exotic.

  “Find something decent to wear for Mia and then bring her to breakfast. I’m leaving,” he said. He didn’t even look at me as he closed the door behind him. While I was mumbling, which would make Carmela angry if she could hear, we were alone with Eva.

  “The wardrobe is rearranged to fit your measurements. My master made the arrangements days before,” she said while walking towards the closet.

  My brows were about to pop out of my head. “Did Alejandro really have clothes prepared for me?”

  She kept walking like it totally made sense. “Sure, we were all looking forward to your arrival.”

  “I guess some of you weren’t.”

  At first, she gave me a clueless look but then she got back to searching the closet. Actually, it was a whole other room.
Its door was just beside the wall where I slept, right next to the bathroom. “If you refer to Athena, she is just… jealous. Beware anyway. Nearly all of the goddesses are disturbed by your presence. When they saw the preparations, they did their best… to stop them of course.”

  “Some of them succeeded then.”

  She stepped out of the dressing room and looked at me curiously.

  “Wasn’t there another available room?” I said like it explained everything.

  I could swear she rolled her eyes as if she meant, ‘Was that the problem?’ But I wasn’t sure. She was a master of disguise when it came to expressions. She got back to the dressing room.

  “Ah, that’s what you have been talking about. Unfortunately, my mistress, all of the other rooms are full. This is the most crowded sanctuary,” she explained from inside. I could hear the coat-hangers clashing each other.

  “Tell me, Eva, where are we exactly?” She must have been paused because the sound of hangers stopped for a moment. “I just wondered if we are still in Spain,” I said, trying to sound as innocent as possible. “Yes, ma’am, we’re still in Spain. This is Hotel Sombrio.” While one of the sanctuaries was a historical building, the other was a modernly decorated hotel. Huh! How nice…

  “As far as I know, the hotel rooms have balconies or at least a window. What kind of hotel is this?”

  She grabbed a few hangers and placed them on the bed. “We’re in the underground right now, mistress. The upper floors are designated for the deities. Other customers blend in. That’s why my master spared the large area in the underground to himself.”

  “Doesn’t this ‘large space’ have any spare rooms?” I said in hope to express my discomfort.

  Her serious expression softened up for a moment. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but other rooms include a large living room, dining room, and so on.” She got back to her stern look.