The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 86
Come on, if it wasn't for your moods there isn't a better lass
in England. Go and wash your face and take out the money.
Come, you mustn't be cross with me; don't you know me?
Come, come, I know you were talked into this.
HOSTESS.
Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles: i' faith,
I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la!
Please, Sir John, just let it be twenty nobles: I swear
I do not want to pawn my plate, God help me!
FALSTAFF.
Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a fool still.
Forget it, I'll find another way: you'll still be a fool.
HOSTESS.
Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope
you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together?
Well, you shall have it, even if I have to pawn my dress. I hope
you will come to supper. You'll pay me back in one sum?
FALSTAFF.
Will I live? [To Bardolph.] Go, with her, with her;
hook on, hook on.
I swear.[to Bardolph] go along with her;
we've got her on the hook.
HOSTESS.
Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?
Do you want Doll Tearsheet to come to you at supper?
FALSTAFF.
No more words; let 's have her.
No more talking, we'll have her.
[Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, and Boy.]
CHIEF JUSTICE.
I have heard better news.
I have heard better news.
FALSTAFF.
What 's the news, my lord?
What news is that, my lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE.
Where lay the king last night?
Where did the King stay last night?
GOWER.
At Basingstoke, my lord.
At Basingstoke, my lord.
FALSTAFF.
I hope, my lord, all 's well: what is the news, my lord?
I hope, my lord, everything is all right: what is the news, my lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE.
Come all his forces back?
Has he brought all his forces back with him?
GOWER.
No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
No, fifteen hundred infantry and five hundred cavalry
are marching up to join my Lord of Lancaster,
to fight Northumberland and the Archbishop.
FALSTAFF.
Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
Is the king back from Wales, my noble Lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE.
You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
I shall give you letters at once:
come along with me, good Master Gower.
FALSTAFF.
My lord!
My Lord!
CHIEF JUSTICE.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
FALSTAFF.
Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?
Master Gower, can I invite you to have dinner with me?
GOWER.
I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank you, good Sir John.
I must attend my good lord here; thank you for the offer,
good Sir John.
CHIEF JUSTICE.
Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to
take soldiers up in counties as you go.
Sir John, you have been here too long, considering that you have to
gather forces from the counties as you go.
FALSTAFF.
Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
Will you have supper with me, Master Gower?
CHIEF JUSTICE.
What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?
What stupid master taught you to behave like this, Sir John?
FALSTAFF.
Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that
taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap for
tap, and so part fair.
Master Gower, if my manners don't suit me, it was a fool who
taught them to me. This is the way we fence, my lord;
we exchange blows, and part as equals.
CHIEF JUSTICE.
Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great fool.
May the Lord give you some sense! You are a great fool.
[Exeunt.]
[Enter Prince Henry and Poins.]
PRINCE.
Before God, I am exceeding weary.
I swear to God, I'm exhausted.
POINS.
Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not have
attach'd one of so high blood.
Are you? I thought people so highborn
never got tired.
PRINCE.
Faith, it does me; though it discolours the complexion of
my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me to
desire small beer?
I swear I do; even if it makes me look
less great to admit it. Would it make me look bad
to say I would like some small beer?
POINS.
Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied as to
remember so weak a composition.
Why, a prince should not be so low minded
as to remember such weak stuff.
PRINCE.
Belike then my appetite was not princely got; for, by my troth,
I do now remember the poor creature, small beer. But, indeed,
these humble considerations make me out of love with my greatness.
What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name! or to know thy
face to-morrow! or to take note how many pair of silk stockings thou
hast, viz. these, and those that were thy peach-coloured ones! or to
bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for superfluity, and another
for use!
But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low
ebb of linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast
not done a great while, because the rest of thy low countries have made
a shift to eat up thy holland: and God knows, whether those that bawl
out of the ruins of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom: but the
midwives say the children are not in the fault; whereupon the world
increases, and kindreds are mightily strengthened.
Perhaps my appetite is not that of a Prince, for
I swear that I can remember that poor refreshment,
small beer. But having to think about these things
makes me despise my greatness. How disgraceful
it is for me to remember your name! Or to recognise you
tomorrow! Or to know how many pairs of
silk stockings you have–that is, these, and those
peach coloured ones! Or to know how many
shirts you have–I know you have one spare
and one to wear! But the tennis court keeper knows
that's better than I do, for you only give up
playing when you run out of shirts; you haven't played for
a long time, because you've had to pawn your shirts
to support your other low habits. And
God knows whether your offspring, howling from the
scraps of your old shirts, shall go to heaven: but the
midwives say that children can't be blamed for being
bastards, and that's the way the population increases,
and you have plenty of family.
POINS.
How ill it follows,
after you have laboured so hard, you
should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good young princes would
do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is?
How wrong it is that you should talk so foolishly
after such great work! Tell me, how many good young princes would
talk like this, with their fathers being as sick as yours is now?
PRINCE.
Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
Shall I tell you something, Poins?
POINS.
Yes, faith; and let it be an excellent good thing.
Yes indeed; and let it be a very good thing.
PRINCE.
It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than thine.
It will do, for people of your intelligence.
POINS.
Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.
Get on; I can cope with anything you want to say.
PRINCE.
Marry, I tell thee it is not meet that I should be sad, now my father
is sick: albeit I could tell to thee, as to one it pleases me, for
fault of a better, to call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeed too.
Well, I tell you that it is not proper for me to be sad over
my father's illness: otherwise I would tell you, as one whom
I regard, lacking any better, as a friend, that I would be sad,
very sad indeed.
POINS.
Very hardly upon such a subject.
It's a very sad subject.
PRINCE.
By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the devil's book as thou
and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency: let the end try the man.
But I tell thee, my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick:
and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from
me all ostentation of sorrow.
I swear, you think I am as deeply in league with the devil
as you and Falstaff, for stubbornness and persistence.
Let's see how we turn out. But I tell you, my heart
is bleeding inside for my father's illness:
and keeping low company with people like you
has stopped me from showing any signs of sorrow.
POINS.
The reason?
Why's that?
PRINCE.
What wouldst thou think of me, if I should weep?
What would you think of me, if I were to weep?
POINS.
I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
I would think you were a great hypocrite.
PRINCE.
It would be every man's thought; and thou art a blessed fellow to
think as every man thinks: never a man's thought in the world keeps
the road-way better than thine: every man would think me an
hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful thought to
think so?
That's what everyone would think; and you are a lucky fellow to
think like every other man: there's nobody in the world who thinks
quite as much like the average fellow as you: every man would indeed
think me a hypocrite. And what makes your judicious thought think this?
POINS.
Why, because you have been so lewd and so much engraffed
to Falstaff.
Why, because you have lived such a loose life and
have been so closely attached to Falstaff.
PRINCE.
And to thee.
And to you.
POINS.
By this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it with mine own
ears: the worst that they can say of me is that I am a second
brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; and those two
things, I confess, I cannot help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph.
I swear, I am well spoken of; I can hear what people say:
the worst they can say of me is that I am a younger son
and that I am a good fighter; and I admit that I cannot
help those two things. By heaven, here comes Bardolph.
[Enter Bardolph and Page.]
PRINCE.
And the boy that I gave Falstaff: 'a had him from me Christian;
and look, if the fat villain have not transformed him ape.
And the boy that I gave to Falstaff: he was a Christian when I gave him to him;
it looks as if the fat villain has changed him into an ape.
BARDOLPH.
God save your grace!
God save your Grace!
PRINCE.
And yours, most noble Bardolph!
The same to you, most noble Bardolph!
POINS.
Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must you be blushing?
wherefore blush you now? What a maidenly man-at-arms are you become!
Is 't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, do you have to blush?
Why are you blushing now? What an effeminate little soldier you've become!
Is it so difficult to pour out a pint of ale?
PAGE.
'A calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red lattice, and I could
discern no part of his face from the window: at last I spied his
eyes, and methought he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new
petticoat and so peep'd through.
He called me just now, my lord, through a red latticework,
and I couldn't tell the difference between his face and the window: at last I saw
his eyes, and I thought he had made two holes in the landlady's
new petticoat and was peeping through them.
PRINCE.
Has not the boy profited?
Hasn't this boy come on?
BARDOLPH.
Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away!
Get lost, you timid little son of a bitch!
PAGE.
Away, you rascally Althaea's dream, away!
Get lost, you rascally Althea's dream!
PRINCE.
Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
Teach us, boy; what dream is that, boy?
PAGE.
Marry, my lord, Althaea dreamt she was delivered of a
fire-brand; and therefore I call him her dream.
Why, my lord, Althea dreamt that she gave birth to
a burning coal; so I call him her dream.
PRINCE.
A crown's worth of good interpretation: there 'tis, boy.
That's a crown's worth of good explanation: there it is, boy.
POINS.
O, that this blossom could be kept from cankers! Well,
there is sixpence to preserve thee.
If only this flower could be kept from diseases! Well,
there is sixpence to protect you.
BARDOLPH.
An you do not make him hanged among you, the gallows
shall have wrong.
If he doesn't get hanged alongside you, the gallows
will have missed out.
PRINCE.
And how doth thy master, Bardolph?
And how is your master, Bardolph?
BARDOLPH.
Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's coming to town:
there's a letter for you.
He’s well, my lord. He heard that your Grace had come to town:
there's a letter for you.
POINS.
Deliver'd with good respect. And how doth the martlemas,
your master?
Delivered with proper ceremony. And how is the old fellow,
your master?
BARDOLPH.
In bodily health, sir.
He is physically well, sir.
POINS.
Marry, the immortal
part needs a physician; but that moves
not him: though that be sick, it dies not.
Yes, but it is his soul which needs a doctor; but that doesn't
bother him; though it is sick, it will not die.
PRINCE.
I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my dog;
and he holds his place; for look you how he writes.
I say this old lump is as familiar with me as my dog;
he stands on his dignity; look how he writes.
POINS.
[Reads.] "John Falstaff, knight,"--every man must know that, as oft
as he has occasion to name himself: even like those that are kin
to the king; for they never prick their finger but they say,
"There's some of the king's blood spilt."
"How comes that?" says he, that takes upon him not to conceive.
The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap,
"I am the king's poor cousin, sir."
“John Falstaff, knight,"–every man must know that,