The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows:

  The tears that flow nightly down my cheeks:

  Nor shines the silver moon one half so brightNor does the silver moon shine half as bright

  Through the transparent bosom of the deep,through the transparent bosom of the ocean,

  As doth thy face through tears of mine give light;As does my face through my tears which give light;

  Thou shinest in every tear that I do weep:

  You shine in every tear I weepNo drop but as a coach doth carry thee;Not as a drop, but like a carriage they carry you

  So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.So you ride, taking triumph in my woe.

  Do but behold the tears that swell in me,Do notice the tears that swell in me,

  And they thy glory through my grief will show:And they will show your glory through my grief:

  But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep

  But do not love yourself; then you will keepMy tears for glasses, and still make me weep.my tears for mirrors, and still cause me to cry.

  O queen of queens! how far dost thou excel,O queen of queens! How excellent you are,

  No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.No thought can think, nor mortal tongue can tell

  How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper:How can she know my grief? I’ll drop the letter:

  Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?Sweet leaves, hide my foolishness. Who is that coming here?

  Steps asideWhat, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.What, Longaville! And reading! Let’s listen closely.

  BIRON Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!

  Now, just like you, another fool will appear!Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paperLONGAVILLE Ay me, I am forsworn!

  Oh me, I have broken my oath!

  BIRON Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.

  Why, he acts like he has told a lie under oath, wearing that letter. FERDINAND In love, I hope: sweet fellowship in shame!

  In love, I hope: we are companions in our shame!BIRON One drunkard loves another of the name.

  One drunkard loves another drunkard. LONGAVILLE Am I the first that have been perjured so?

  Am I the first that has lied so?BIRON I could put thee in comfort. Not by two that I know:

  I could comfort you. I already know of two:Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,You make it a triumvirate, a third corner for our three corner cap of company,

  The shape of Love's Tyburn that hangs up simplicity.

  The shape of Love’s execution chamber that hangs the simple.LONGAVILLE I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move:

  I’m afraid these difficult lines lack the power to persuade:O sweet Maria, empress of my love!

  O sweet Maria, Queen of my love!These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.These verses I’ll shred and re-write in prose.

  BIRON O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid's hose:

  O, rhymes are embroideries on promiscuous Cupid’s pantsDisfigure not his slop.Don’t disfigure his codpiece.

  LONGAVILLE This same shall go.

  This will go as follows:Reads

  Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,

  Did not the heavenly way you spoke with your eyes'Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,

  Against whom the whole world cannot find faultPersuade my heart to this false perjury?

  Persuade me to commit this perjuryVows for thee broke deserve not punishment.The vows I broke for you cannot be punished

  A woman I forswore; but I will prove,

  A woman I committed to; but I will prove,Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee:That since you are a goddess, I didn’t commit to you

  My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;

  My vow was of the earth, by you are from the heavensThy grace being gain'd cures all disgrace in me.

  Gaining your approval cures all of my disgraceVows are but breath, and breath a vapour is:

  Vows are spoken with breath, and breath is just air:Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,

  Then you, a fair sun, on my earth do shine,Exhalest this vapour-vow; in thee it is:

  Exhales this air-vow; in you it is:If broken then, it is no fault of mine:If broken, it’s not my fault:

  If by me broke, what fool is not so wiseIf I break it, what fool is not wise enough

  To lose an oath to win a paradise?

  As to break an oath in order to win paradise?BIRON This is the liver-vein, which makes flesh a deity,

  This is the style of a lover, which turns flesh into a God,A green goose a goddess: pure, pure idolatry.

  A young girl into a goddess: pure, pure idolatry. God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way.

  God help us, God help! We are far too gone.

  LONGAVILLE By whom shall I send this?--Company! stay.

  But who will deliver this?— All of you! Wait. Steps aside

  BIRON All hid, all hid; an old infant play.

  He didn’t see me, he didn’t see me; a game of hide n’ seekLike a demigod here sit I in the sky.

  Like a god here I sit elevated above all.And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'ereye.

  And these wretched fools’ secrets I overheard. More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish!

  There’s more to come! O heavens, my wish was granted!Enter DUMAIN, with a paperDumain transform'd! four woodcocks in a dish!

  Dumain is transformed! We’re four dumb birds in a dish!DUMAIN O most divine Kate!

  O most divine Kate!BIRON O most profane coxcomb!

  O most profane conceited man! DUMAIN By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!By heaven, the wonder in her human eye!

  BIRON By earth, she is not, corporal, there you lie.

  By earth, she’s not wonderful, officer, that’s a lie. DUMAIN Her amber hair for foul hath amber quoted.

  Her amber hair makes real amber seem ugly. BIRON An amber-colour'd raven was well noted.

  And so, a raven was described as amber-colored. DUMAIN As upright as the cedar.

  As upright as a cedar tree.

  BIRON Stoop, I say;

  I say she stoops;Her shoulder is with child.

  Her shoulder looks like it’s pregnant.DUMAIN As fair as day.

  As pale and bright as daylight.BIRON Ay, as some days; but then no sun must shine.

  Sure, on some days; when the sun doesn’t shine. DUMAIN O that I had my wish!

  O that my wish could be granted!LONGAVILLE And I had mine!

  And mine too!FERDINAND And I mine too, good Lord!And mine too, good Lord!

  BIRON Amen, so I had mine: is not that a good word?Amen, so I mine as well: isn’t that nice of me?

  DUMAIN I would forget her; but a fever she

  I would forget her; but she heatsReigns in my blood and will remember'd be.

  My blood up so much I can’t forget it.BIRON A fever in your blood! why, then incision

  Heats your blood! Why, if we cut youWould let her out in saucers: sweet misprision!

  she would just pour into bowls: what a sweet mistake!DUMAIN Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ.

  I’ll read the ode I wrote again. BIRON Once more I'll mark how love can vary wit.

  Once more I’ll see how love has nothing to do with intelligence. DUMAIN [Reads]On a day--alack the day!—

  On a day—oh that day!--Love, whose month is ever May,

  Love, whose prime month is always May,Spied a blossom passing fair

  Saw a pretty flower in passingPlaying in the wanton air:

  Playing in the promiscuous air:Through the velvet leaves the wind,

  Through the velvety leaves the wind, All unseen, can passage find;

  though not seen, can find a wayThat the lover, sick to death,

  So that the lover, deathly illWish himself the heaven's breath.wishes for himself a breath from heaven.

  Air, quoth he, thy cheeks may blow;‘Air’ he said, ‘blow your cheeks’

&n
bsp; Air, would I might triumph so!

  ‘Air, so that I could triumph!’But, alack, my hand is sworn

  But, oh no, I sworeNe'er to pluck thee from thy thorn;

  To never pluck you from your stem;Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,

  I promise, oh, for a virgin youth,Youth so apt to pluck a sweet!

  A youth so likely to grab something sweet!Do not call it sin in me,

  Do not call it a sin, That I am forsworn for thee;That I have committed to you;

  Thou for whom Jove would swear

  You, who Jove would swear Juno but an Ethiope were;

  Juno was only an Ethiopian;And deny himself for Jove,

  And would deny himself his pleasures, for ZeusTurning mortal for thy love.

  Would turn human for your love.This will I send, and something else more plain,I’ll send this, along with something else more ordinary,

  That shall express my true love's fasting pain.

  That shall express the pain of my hungering for my true love.

  O, would the king, Biron, and Longaville,O, if only the king, Biron, and Longaville,

  Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,Were lovers as well! Sick, to be an example to the sick,

  Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note;

  Would help me clear my mind of this oath-breaking;

  For none offend where all alike do dote.

  For you can’t offend when everyone’s in love. LONGAVILLE [Advancing] Dumain, thy love is far from charity.

  Dumain, your love is far from Christian love. You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,You look pale, but I should blush as well, I know

  To be o'erheard and taken napping so.

  Since I was overheard and my private affairs brought into the open, too. FERDINAND [Advancing] Come, sir, you blush; as his your case is such;

  Come on, sir, you blush; since your case is like his;

  You chide at him, offending twice as much;You lecture him, when you’re twice as offensive

  You do not love Maria; LongavilleYou do not love Maria; Longaville

  Did never sonnet for her sake compile,You never wrote a sonnet for her,

  Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwartNor did you ever fold your arms in sadness

  His loving bosom to keep down his heart.

  Across your chest to keep your heart calm. I have been closely shrouded in this bush

  I have been hiding in this bushAnd mark'd you both and for you both did blush:And heard you both and for you both, I blushed:

  I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,I heard your sinful rhymes, and saw how you acted,

  Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion:Saw you sigh, was made aware of your passion:

  Ay me! says one; O Jove! the other cries;Oh me! Says one; Oh God! cries the other;

  One, her hairs were gold, crystal the other's eyes:One, says her hair is gold, the other says her eyes are crystal blue:

  To LONGAVILLEYou would for paradise break faith, and troth;

  You would break your faith for your paradise, and truth; To DUMAINAnd Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath.

  And Zeus, for your love, would break a promise. What will Biron say when that he shall hear

  What will Biron say when he hears

  Faith so infringed, which such zeal did swear?Your faith so compromised, with how much enthusiasm did he promise?

  How will he scorn! how will he spend his wit!How contemptuous he will be! How he will go to his wit’s end to make fun!

  How will he triumph, leap and laugh at it!How he will triumph, leap and laugh at it!

  For all the wealth that ever I did see,Even for all the money in the world,

  I would not have him know so much by me.I would want him to know so much about me.

  BIRON Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.

  Now I step forward to punish his hypocrisy.AdvancingAh, good my liege, I pray thee, pardon me!

  Ah, my good liege, please excuse me!Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to reprove

  Good heart, what grace do you have, to scoldThese worms for loving, that art most in love?

  These worms for loving, that are so love?Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears

  Your eyes make no coaches; in your tearsThere is no certain princess that appears;

  There is no certain princess that appears;You'll not be perjured, 'tis a hateful thing;

  You won’t be accused of oath-breaking, that would be a hateful thing;Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!

  And no one but minstrels like writing sonnets!But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not,

  But aren’t you ashamed? No, aren’t youAll three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?

  all three of you ashamed, to be so much in error?You found his mote; the king your mote did see;

  You found his weakness; the king saw yours;But I a beam do find in each of three.

  But I have found the defect in all three of you.O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,

  Oh, what a ridiculous scene I have witnessed,Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of teen!

  Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of affliction!O me, with what strict patience have I sat,

  Oh me, I sat there with such strict patience,To see a king transformed to a gnat!

  To see a king transformed into a gnat!To see great Hercules whipping a gig,

  To see great Hercules spinning a top,And profound Solomon to tune a jig,

  And profound Solomon to play a jigAnd Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,

  And Nestor play a child’s game with the boys,And critic Timon laugh at idle toys!

  And the critic Timon to take delight in mindless entertainments!Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?

  Where is your grief, O tell me, good Dumain?And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?

  And gentle Longaville, where is your pain?And where my liege's? all about the breast:

  And where is my liege’s? all over the chest:A caudle, ho!These heartsick men could use some hot ale!

  FERDINAND Too bitter is thy jest.

  Your jokes are too bitter.Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view?

  Are we so betrayed by you over hearing?BIRON Not you to me, but I betray'd by you:

  Not you to me, but I’ve been betrayed by you:I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin

  I who am honest; I who took accountability for my sinTo break the vow I am engaged in;

  To break the vow that I am engaged in;I am betray'd, by keeping company

  I am betrayed by keeping companyWith men like men of inconstancy.

  With unfaithful men.When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?

  When will you see me write a thing in rhyme?Or groan for love? or spend a minute's time

  Or groan for love? Or spend a minute’s timeIn pruning me? When shall you hear that I

  In getting myself all dressed to impress? When will you hear that IWill praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,

  Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,

  A walk, an attitude, a brow, a breast, a waistA leg, a limb?A leg, a limb?

  FERDINAND Soft! whither away so fast?

  Stop! Where are you going so fast?A true man or a thief that gallops so?

  Only a thief runs away like that.BIRON I post from love: good lover, let me go.

  I hasten from love: good lover, let me goEnter JAQUENETTA and COSTARDJAQUENETTA God bless the king!

  God bless the king!FERDINAND What present hast thou there?

  What present do you have there?COSTARD Some certain treason.

  Some certain treason.FERDINAND What makes treason here?What does treason have to do with us here?

  COSTARD Nay, it makes nothing, sir.

  Nothing, sir.FERDINAND If it mar nothing neither,

  If it’s nothing thenThe treason and you go in peace away together.

  The treason and you can go away in peace together.JAQUENETTA I beseech
your grace, let this letter be read:

  I ask your grace, please read this letter:Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said.

  Our person suspects it; he said it was treason.FERDINAND Biron, read it over.

  Biron, read it aloud.Giving him the paperWhere hadst thou it?

  Where did you get it?JAQUENETTA Of Costard.

  From Costard.FERDINAND Where hadst thou it?

  And where did you get it?COSTARD Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.

  From Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.BIRON tears the letterFERDINAND How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it?

  What’s this! what’s come over you? Why did you tear it?

  BIRON A toy, my liege, a toy: your grace needs not fear it.

  It’s a toy, my liege, a toy: your grace does not need to fear it.LONGAVILLE It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it.

  It moved him to a passion, so now he have to hear it.DUMAIN It is Biron's writing, and here is his name.

  It’s Biron’s writing! And here is his name.Gathering up the piecesBIRON [To COSTARD] Ah, you whoreson loggerhead! you were

  [To COSTARD] Oh, you blockheaded son of a bitch! You wereborn to do me shame.

  Born just so that you could shame me.Guilty, my lord, guilty! I confess, I confess.

  Guilty, my lord, guilty! I confess, I confess.FERDINAND What?

  What?BIRON That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess:

  That you three fools only lack this fool, to make four fools.He, he, and you, and you, my liege, and I,

  He, he, and you and you, my liege and I,Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.

  Are thieves in love, and we deserve to die.O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.

  O, dismiss this audience, and I’ll tell you the rest.DUMAIN Now the number is even.

  Now the number is even.BIRON True, true; we are four.

  True, true; we are four.Will these turtles be gone?

  Can these turtle dove lovers leave now?FERDINAND Hence, sirs; away!

  Go, you two; Go on!COSTARD Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.

  Let the true folk leave and the traitors stay.Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTABIRON Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!

  Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace each other!As true we are as flesh and blood can be: