The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  And pass onto my daughter a large enough inheritance,

  The match is made, and all is done:

  Your son shall have my daughter with consent.

  TRANIO. I thank you, sir.

  Where then do you know best

  We be affied, and such assurance ta'en

  Where we can set down the legal contract

  As shall with either part's agreement stand?

  That we agree upon each party's actions?

  BAPTISTA. Not in my house, Lucentio, for you know

  Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants;

  Besides, old Gremio is hearkening still,

  Besides, old Gremio is still longing for her,

  And happily we might be interrupted.

  And we might unluckily be interrupted.

  TRANIO. Then at my lodging, an it like you:

  Then at my place, if that is all right:

  There doth my father lie; and there this night

  My father is staying; and there, tonight

  We'll pass the business privately and well.

  We'll settle this business privately and well.

  Send for your daughter by your servant here;

  My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.

  My boy shall fetch the official in a moment.

  The worst is this, that at so slender warning

  The worst thing about this, that at such short notice

  You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.

  You are likely to not get a big fee.

  BAPTISTA. It likes me well. Cambio, hie you home,

  I like this plan. Cambio, get home,

  And bid Bianca make her ready straight;

  And tell Bianca to get herself ready;

  And, if you will, tell what hath happened:

  And, if you will, tell her what has happened:

  Lucentio's father is arriv'd in Padua,

  Lucentio's father has arrived in Padua,

  And how she's like to be Lucentio's wife.

  And how she's going to be Lucentio's wife.

  LUCENTIO. I pray the gods she may, with all my heart!

  TRANIO. Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone. Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way? Welcome! One mess is like to be your cheer; come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.

  Do not mess with the gods, but get yourself gone. Sir Baptista, shall I lead the way? Welcome! It may not be up to your standards, but come, sir; we will make it better in Pisa.

  BAPTISTA. I follow you.

  [Exeunt TRANIO, Pedant, and BAPTISTA.]

  BIONDELLO. Cambio!

  LUCENTIO. What say'st thou, Biondello?

  What do you have to say, Biondello?

  BIONDELLO. You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?

  You saw my master wink and laugh at you?

  LUCENTIO. Biondello, what of that?

  Biondello, what about it?

  BIONDELLO. Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind to expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.

  Faith, nothing; but it has left me here to ponder the meaning or moral of his signs and gestures.

  LUCENTIO. I pray thee moralize them.

  Please explain them.

  BIONDELLO. Then thus: Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son.

  Then this is how it is: Baptista is safe, talking with the fake father of a fake son.

  LUCENTIO. And what of him?

  BIONDELLO. His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

  LUCENTIO. And then?

  BIONDELLO. The old priest at Saint Luke's church is at your command at all hours.

  LUCENTIO. And what of all this?

  BIONDELLO. I cannot tell, except they are busied about a counterfeit assurance. Take your assurance of her, cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum; to the church! take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses.

  I cannot tell, except they are busy putting together a false promise. Take your promise of her, cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum; to the church! Take the priest, clerk, and enough honest witnesses.

  If this be not that you look for, I have more to say,

  If this is not what you look for, I have more to say,

  But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.

  But say goodbye to Bianca forever and a day.

  [Going.]

  LUCENTIO. Hear'st thou, Biondello?

  Do you hear, Biondello?

  BIONDELLO. I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir; and so adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke's to bid the priest be ready to come against you, come with your appendix.

  I cannot stay: I knew a girl married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir; and so goodbye, sir. My master has told me to go to Saint Luke's to tell the priest to be ready to come against you, come with your book.

  [Exit.]

  LUCENTIO. I may, and will, if she be so contented.

  I may, and will, if that's what she wants.

  She will be pleas'd; then wherefore should I doubt?

  She will be pleased; then why should I doubt?

  Hap what hap may, I'll roundly go about her;

  Come what me, I'll go around her;

  It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

  It will turn out badly if Cambio goes without her.

  [Exit.]

  A public road

  [Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO, and SERVANTS.]

  PETRUCHIO. Come on, i' God's name; once more toward our father's. Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!

  Come on, in God's name; once more toward our father's. Good Lord, the moon shines so bright and well!

  KATHERINA. The moon! The sun; it is not moonlight now.

  PETRUCHIO. I say it is the moon that shines so bright.

  KATHERINA. I know it is the sun that shines so bright.

  PETRUCHIO. Now by my mother's son, and that's myself,

  It shall be moon, or star, or what I list,

  It shall be moon, or star, or what I say,

  Or ere I journey to your father's house.

  Or before I journey to your father's house.

  Go on and fetch our horses back again.

  Evermore cross'd and cross'd; nothing but cross'd!

  Always fought against and against; nothing but against!

  HORTENSIO. Say as he says, or we shall never go.

  KATHERINA. Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,

  Let us go forward, please, since we have come so far,

  And be it moon, or sun, or what you please;

  And let it be moon, or sun, or whatever you please;

  And if you please to call it a rush-candle,

  And if you wish to call it a candle,

  Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.

  From now on I swear that's what it will be for me.

  PETRUCHIO. I say it is the moon.

  KATHERINA. I know it is the moon.

  PETRUCHIO. Nay, then you lie; it is the blessed sun.

  No, you are lying; it is the blessed sun.

  KATHERINA. Then, God be bless'd, it is the blessed sun;

  Then, God be blessed, it is the blessed sun;

  But sun it is not when you say it is not,

  But it is not the sun when you say it is not,

  And the moon changes even as your mind.

  And the moon changes the way your mind does.

  What you will have it nam'd, even that it is,

  What you will call it, that is what it is,

  And so it shall be so for Katherine.

  And that is how it shall be for Katherine.

  HORTENSIO. Petruchio, go thy ways; the field is won.

  Petruchio, move on; the battle is won.

  PETRUCHIO. Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,

  Well f
orward, forward! This is how things should work,

  And not unluckily against the bias.

  And not always against the grain.

  But, soft! Company is coming here.

  But, hush! Someone is coming here.

  [Enter VINCENTIO, in a travelling dress.]

  [To VINCENTIO] Good-morrow, gentle mistress; where away?

  Good day, gentle miss; where your going?

  Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too,

  Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman?

  Have you ever seen a prettier young woman?

  Such war of white and red within her cheeks!

  Such a war between white and red coloring in her cheeks!

  What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty

  What stars decorate the sky with such beauty

  As those two eyes become that heavenly face?

  As those two eyes suit that heavenly face?

  Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee.

  Beautiful lovely maiden, once more a good day to you.

  Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty's sake.

  Sweet Kate, give her a hug for being so beautiful.

  HORTENSIO. 'A will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.

  You will drive the man crazy, calling him a woman.

  KATHERINA. Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,

  Young blooming maiden, pretty and fresh and sweet,

  Whither away, or where is thy abode?

  Where are you going, or where is your home?

  Happy the parents of so fair a child;

  The parents of such a beautiful child must be happy;

  Happier the man whom favourable stars

  And even happier must be the man whose good luck

  Allot thee for his lovely bed-fellow.

  Makes you his lovely wife.

  PETRUCHIO. Why, how now, Kate! I hope thou art not mad:

  Why, what's going on, Kate! I hope you are not insane:

  This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, wither'd,

  This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, withered,

  And not a maiden, as thou sayst he is.

  And not a maiden, as you say he is.

  KATHERINA. Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,

  That have been so bedazzled with the sun

  That have been so blinded by the sun

  That everything I look on seemeth green:

  That everything I look at seems young:

  Now I perceive thou art a reverend father;

  Now I can see you are a dignified father;

  Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.

  Forgive me, please, for my crazy mistake.

  PETRUCHIO. Do, good old grandsire, and withal make known

  Do, good old grandfather, and also tell us

  Which way thou travellest: if along with us,

  Which way you are traveling: if it is the same as us,

  We shall be joyful of thy company.

  We shall be glad of the company.

  VINCENTIO. Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,

  Good sir, and you my playful lady,

  That with your strange encounter much amaz'd me,

  That with your strange behavior has amazed me very much,

  My name is called Vincentio; my dwelling Pisa;

  My name is Vincenio; my home is Pisa;

  And bound I am to Padua, there to visit

  And I am going to Padua, to visit there

  A son of mine, which long I have not seen.

  A son of mine, who I have not seen for a long time.

  PETRUCHIO. What is his name?

  VINCENTIO. Lucentio, gentle sir.

  PETRUCHIO. Happily met; the happier for thy son.

  How fortunate a coincidence; even luckier for your son.

  And now by law, as well as reverend age,

  And now by law, as well as your respectable age,

  I may entitle thee my loving father:

  I may call you my loving father:

  The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman,

  The sister of my wife, this noblewoman,

  Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not,

  Has married your son by this time. Do not be surprised,

  Nor be not griev'd: she is of good esteem,

  And do not be sad: she has a good reputation,

  Her dowry wealthy, and of worthy birth;

  Her dowry is great, and she is from fine family;

  Beside, so qualified as may beseem

  Besides that, she has at the qualities that are approrpriate

  The spouse of any noble gentleman.

  For the wife of any noble gentleman.

  Let me embrace with old Vincentio;

  And wander we to see thy honest son,

  And let us go travel to see your honest son,

  Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.

  Who will be joyful to see you.

  VINCENTIO. But is this true? or is it else your pleasure,

  But is this true, or else is it your habit;

  Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest

  Like teasing travelers, to make a joke

  Upon the company you overtake?

  With the company you come across?

  HORTENSIO. I do assure thee, father, so it is.

  I do assure you, father, this is true.

  PETRUCHIO. Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;

  Come, go along, and see the truth of it;

  For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.

  For our first joke has made you suspicious.

  [Exeunt all but HORTENSIO.]

  HORTENSIO. Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.

  Well, Petruchio, this has encouraged me.

  Have to my widow! and if she be froward,

  Now I will go to my widow! And if she is difficult,

  Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward.

  You have taught Hortensio how to be stubborn.

  [Exit.]

  Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house

  [Enter on one side BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA; GREMIO walking on other side.]

  BIONDELLO. Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.

  Quietly and quickly, sir, for the priest is ready.

  LUCENTIO. I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need thee at home, therefore leave us.

  I will hurry, Biondello; but it is possible they will need you at home, therefore leave us.

  BIONDELLO. Nay, faith, I'll see the church o' your back; and then come back to my master's as soon as I can.

  No, by my faith, I will see you to the church; and then come back to my master's as soon as I can.

  [Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO.]

  GREMIO. I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

  I am amazed Cambio has not shown up in all this time.

  [Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, VINCENTIO, and ATTENDANTS.]

  PETRUCHIO. Sir, here's the door; this is Lucentio's house:

  Sir, here's the door; this is Lucentio's house:

  My father's bears more toward the market-place;

  My father's is closer to the market-place;