The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 370
And now you know my meaning.
KATHERINA. A very mean meaning.
WIDOW. Right, I mean you.
KATHERINA. And I am mean, indeed, respecting you.
PETRUCHIO. To her, Kate!
HORTENSIO. To her, widow!
PETRUCHIO. A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
HORTENSIO. That's my office.
That's my job.
PETRUCHIO. Spoke like an officer: ha' to thee, lad.
Spoken like an officer: here's to you, young man.
[Drinks to HORTENSIO.]
BAPTISTA. How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
How does Gremio like these quick-witted folks?
GREMIO. Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
BIANCA. Head and butt! An hasty-witted body
Head and butt! Someone in a rush
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
VINCENTIO. Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you?
Ah, madam bride, has that awakened you?
BIANCA. Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.
Yes, but not frightened me; therefore I'll sleep again.
PETRUCHIO. Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun,
No, you shall not do that; since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two.
You need to make a few sharp jokes.
BIANCA. Am I your bird?
I mean to shift my bush,
I mean to move my nest,
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
And then you can chase me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
[Exeunt BIANCA, KATHERINA, and WIDOW.]
PETRUCHIO. She hath prevented me.
She has prevented me.
Here, Signior Tranio;
Here, Sir Tranio;
This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not:
You aimed at this bird, though you did not hit her:
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.
Therefore I drink to all that shot and missed.
TRANIO. O, sir! Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,
Oh, sir! Lucentio sent me like I was his greyhound,
Which runs himself, and catches for his master.
Who runs himself, and catches for his master.
PETRUCHIO. A good swift simile, but something currish.
A good analogy, but sounds a bit doggish.
TRANIO. 'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
It's good, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
Though it is thought that now your deer has you trapped.
BAPTISTA. O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
Oh, ha, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
LUCENTIO. I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
I thank you for that jab, good Tranio.
HORTENSIO. Confess, confess; hath he not hit you here?
Confess, confess; has he not hit you here?
PETRUCHIO. A' has a little gall'd me, I confess;
He has annoyed me a little, I confess;
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
And, as the joke just bounced away from me,
'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.
It is ten to one it stabbed you straight on.
BAPTISTA. Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
Now, in all seriousness, son Petruchio,
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
I think you have the worst shrew of all.
PETRUCHIO. Well, I say no; and therefore, for assurance,
Well, I say no; and therefore, for confirmation,
Let's each one send unto his wife,
Let each one call for his wife,
And he whose wife is most obedient,
To come at first when he doth send for her,
To come first when he sends for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.
Shall win the bet which we will make.
HORTENSIO. Content. What's the wager?
Sounds good. What's the bet?
LUCENTIO. Twenty crowns.
PETRUCHIO. Twenty crowns! I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
Twenty crowns! I'd bet as much on one of my hawks or hounds,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.
But twenty times that much on my wife.
LUCENTIO. A hundred then.
HORTENSIO. Content.
Sounds good.
PETRUCHIO. A match! 'tis done.
We have agreed, then!
HORTENSIO. Who shall begin?
LUCENTIO. That will I. Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
I will. Go, Biondello, tell your lady to come to me.
BIONDELLO. I go.
[Exit.]
BAPTISTA. Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes.
LUCENTIO. I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.
I'll have no halves; I'll hold it all myself.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO.]
How now! what news?
What's going on? What news?
BIONDELLO. Sir, my mistress sends you word
Sir, my lady replies
That she is busy and she cannot come.
PETRUCHIO. How! She's busy, and she cannot come! Is that an answer?
Huh! She's busy, and she cannot come! Is that an answer?
GREMIO. Ay, and a kind one too: pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
Yes, and a kind one too: pray God, sir, your wife does not send you a worse one.
PETRUCHIO. I hope, better.
HORTENSIO. Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife
Sir Biondello, go and plead with my wife
To come to me forthwith.
To come to me right now.
[Exit BIONDELLO.]
PETRUCHIO. O, ho! entreat her! Nay, then she must needs come.
Oh, ha! Plead with her! No, then she must come.
HORTENSIO. I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO.]
Now, where's my wife?
BIONDELLO. She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
She says she knows it is some kind of joke:
She will not come; she bids you come to her.
She will not come; she tells you to come to her.
PETRUCHIO. Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,
Worse and worse; she will not come! O terrible,
Intolerable, not to be endur'd!
Intolerable, not to be endured!
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress; say,
Grumio, my man, go to your lady; say,
I command her come to me.
[Exit GRUMIO.]
HORTENSIO. I know her answer.
PETRUCHIO. What?
HORTENSIO. She will not.
PETRUCHIO. The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
That will be bad luck for me, and that would be the end.
[Re-enter KATHERINA.]
BAPTISTA. Now, by my holidame, here comes Katherina!
Now, by my holy mother, here comes Katherina!
KATHERINA. What is your sir, that you send for me?
PETRUCHIO. Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?
KATHERINA. They sit conferring by the parlour fire.
They sit chatting by the parlor fire.
PETRUCHIO. Go, fetch them hither; if they deny to come,
Go, fetch them here; if they refuse to come,
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands.
Drag them here to their husbands.
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
Go, I say, and bring them here straight.
[Exit KATHERINA.]
LUCENTIO. Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.
HORTENSIO. And so it
is. I wonder what it bodes.
And so it is. I wonder what it means.
PETRUCHIO. Marry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life,
By Mary, it means peace, and love, and quiet life,
An awful rule, and right supremacy;
A respected rule, and correct supremacy;
And, to be short, what not that's sweet and happy.
And, to be short, nothing but sweetness and happiness.
BAPTISTA. Now fair befall thee, good Petruchio!
Now may goodness happen to you, good Petruchio!
The wager thou hast won; and I will add
You have won your bet; and I will add
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Onto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Another dowry to another daughter,
Another dowry as if she were yet another daughter,
For she is chang'd, as she had never been.
For she has been changed, as she never had been.
PETRUCHIO. Nay, I will win my wager better yet,
No, I will win the bet even better yet,
And show more sign of her obedience,
And show more evidence of her obedience,
Her new-built virtue and obedience.
Her newly built virtue and obedience.
See where she comes, and brings your froward wives
See where she comes, and brings your rude wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
[Re-enter KATHERINA with BIANCA and WIDOW.]
Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not:
Katherine, that cap of yours does not flatter you:
Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot.
Take off that decoration, throw it to your feet.
[KATHERINA pulls off her cap and throws it down.]
WIDOW. Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh
Lord, let me never have a reason to sigh
Till I be brought to such a silly pass!
Until I have been brought to such a silly situation!
BIANCA. Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?
Fie! What foolish duty do you call this?
LUCENTIO. I would your duty were as foolish too;
I wish your duty was as foolish too;
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
The wisdom of your duty, beautiful Bianca,
Hath cost me a hundred crowns since supper-time!
Has cost me a hundred crowns since suppertime!
BIANCA. The more fool you for laying on my duty.
The more fool you for counting on my duty.
PETRUCHIO. Katherine, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women
Katherine, I command you, tell these headstrong women
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
WIDOW. Come, come, you're mocking; we will have no telling.
PETRUCHIO. Come on, I say; and first begin with her.
WIDOW. She shall not.
PETRUCHIO. I say she shall: and first begin with her.
KATHERINA. Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
Enough, enough! Smooth out that threatening unkind face,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
And do not send scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
To wound your lord, your king, your ruler:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
It upsets your beauty the way frosts damage the flowers,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
Makes you look bad the way whirlwinds shake pretty buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
And in no way is appropriate or pleasing.
A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled,
An agitated woman is like a troubled fountain,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
Muddy, ugly, thick, without beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
And while it is like that, no one, no matter how dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Will bring themselves to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Your husband is your lord, your life, you keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
Your head, your royal; one that cares for you,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
And for your sake and welfare uses his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
In painful labor in both sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
While you lie warm and home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
And wants no other repayment from your hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience;
But love, sweet looks, and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
Is the same as what a omwan owes to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And when she is rude, grumpy, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
What is she but a disgusting, fighting rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?--
I am asham'd that women are so simple
I am ashamed that women are so foolish
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
Or try for rule, dominance, and influence,
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
When they are supposed to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toll and trouble in the world,
Not suitable for hard work and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
But except our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Should agree with our outside parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
Come, come, you rude and incapable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My mind has been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
My heart as big, my reason perhaps more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
To fight with word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
But now I see our lances are only straws,