The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 387
Not yet old enough to be a man, but no longer young enough to be
a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a
a boy; the way a squash is before it is ready to eat, or a
cooling when 'tis almost an apple: 'tis with him
flower bud when it is almost an apple: he is
in standing water, between boy and man. He is very
in that zone between being a boy and a man. He is very
well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly; one
handsome and speaks very cleverly; you would think
would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him.
he was barely grown up.
OLIVIA
Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman.
Let him come near: call in my maid.
MALVOLIO
Gentlewoman, my lady calls.
Maid, my lady calls.
Exit
Re-enter MARIA
OLIVIA
Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my face.
Give me my veil: come, throw it over my face.
We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.
We'll hear from Orsino's representatives again.
Enter VIOLA, and Attendants
VIOLA
The honourable lady of the house, which is she?
Which one is the honorable lady of the house?
OLIVIA
Speak to me; I shall answer for her.
Your will?
What do you want?
VIOLA
Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty,--I
Most brilliant, exquisite, and incomparable beauty - I
pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house,
beg you, tell me if this is the lady of the house,
for I never saw her: I would be loath to cast away
for I never saw her; I would hate to waste
my speech, for besides that it is excellently well
my speech, for besides it being extremely well
penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good
written, I have worked very hard at memorizing it. Good
beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very
beauties, don't subject me to bad feelings; I am easily
comptible, even to the least sinister usage.
offended, even with the least sinister behavior.
OLIVIA
Whence came you, sir?
Where did you come from, sir?
VIOLA
I can say little more than I have studied, and that
I can't say much more tan what I have studied, and that
question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me
question is beyond me. Good gentle one, give me
modest assurance if you be the lady of the house,
some reassurance if you are the lady of the house,
that I may proceed in my speech.
that I may continue in my speech.
OLIVIA
Are you a comedian?
Are you joking?
VIOLA
No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs
No, my deepest heart: and yet, by the very fangs
of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you
of evil, I swear I am not what I seem to be. Are you
the lady of the house?
the lady of the house?
OLIVIA
If I do not usurp myself, I am.
If I do not take over myself, I am.
VIOLA
Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp
Certainly, if you are her, you do take over
yourself; for what is yours to bestow is not yours
yourself; for what is yours to give is not yours
to reserve. But this is from my commission: I will
to keep back. But this is from the job I have been given: I will
on with my speech in your praise, and then show you
continue with my speech praising you, and then get to
the heart of my message.
the main part of my message.
OLIVIA
Come to what is important in't: I forgive you the praise.
Come to what is important in your speech: you may skip the praise.
VIOLA
Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical.
Oh dear, I worked hard to study it, and it's very poetic.
OLIVIA
It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you,
That makes it more likely to be faked: please,
keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates,
keep it to yourself. I heard you were sassy at my gates,
and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you
and allowed you to come in instead so I could stare at you
than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if
rather than hear you. If you are not insane, go away; if
you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of
you are reasonable, be brief: I am not in the
moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.
mood to be playing games.
MARIA
Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way.
Will you sail away, sir? This is the way out.
VIOLA
No, good swabber; I am to hull here a little
No, good shipmate, I will stay in this port a little
longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet
longer. Some peacemaking for your tall, sweet
lady. Tell me your mind: I am a messenger
lady. Tell me what you want: I am a messenger.
OLIVIA
Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when
Surely, you have some terrible thing to tell, when
the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.
you are being so outrageously polite. Get to the point.
VIOLA
It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of
That's for your ears only. I bring no declaration of
war, no taxation of homage: I hold the olive in my
war, no demands: I am here with the olive branch
hand; my words are as fun of peace as matter.
this is a peaceful matter.
OLIVIA
Yet you began rudely. What are you? what would you?
Yet you began rudely. What are you? What do you want?
VIOLA
The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I
The rudeness that has appeared in me I have
learned from my entertainment. What I am, and what I
learned from my studies. What I am, and what I
would, are as secret as maidenhead; to your ears,
want, are as secret as women's secrets; to your ears,
divinity, to any other's, profanation.
something divine, to any other's, something obscene.
OLIVIA
Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity.
Give us some privacy: I want to hear this "something divine".
Exeunt MARIA and Attendants
Now, sir, what is your text?
Now, sir, what is your message?
VIOLA
Most sweet lady,--
Sweetest lady,--
OLIVIA
A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it.
An established compliment, and very good too.
Where lies your text?
Where is your message from?
VIOLA
In Orsino's bosom.
In Orsino's chest.
OLIVIA
In his bosom! In what chapter of his bosom?
In his chest! In what part of his chest?
VIOLA
To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.
To continue the metaphor, in the first part of
his heart.
OLIVIA
O, I have read it: it is heresy. Have you no more to say?
Oh, I have read it: it is blasphemy. Do you have nothing else to say?
VIOLA
Good madam, let me see your face.
Good madam, please show me your face.
OLIVIA
Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate
Has your lord commanded you to be able to
with my face? You are now out of your text: but
see my face? You are now out of messages, but
we will draw the curtain and show you the picture.
we will pull back the curtain and show you the picture.
Look you, sir, such a one I was this present: is't
Look, sir, this is the face I was given, is it
not well done?
Unveiling
VIOLA
Excellently done, if God did all.
Very well done, if God did it all.
OLIVIA
'Tis in grain, sir; 'twill endure wind and weather.
It was made well, sir; it will endure wind and weather.
VIOLA
'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
It is a beauty truly made, whose red and white
Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on:
Nature's own sweet and clever hand laid on:
Lady, you are the cruell'st she alive,
Lady, you are the cruellest woman alive,
If you will lead these graces to the grave
If you will take these wonderful qualities to the grave
And leave the world no copy.
And have no child to carry on the looks.
OLIVIA
O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give
Oh, sir, I will not be so cruel; I will give
out divers schedules of my beauty: it shall be
out several descriptions of my beauty: it shall be
inventoried, and every particle and utensil
inventoried, and every part and item
labelled to my will: as, item, two lips,
labeled in my will: as, item, two lips
indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to
basically red; item, two grey eyes, with lids on
them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were
them; item, one neck, on chin, and so on. Were
you sent hither to praise me?
you sent here to praise me?
VIOLA
I see you what you are, you are too proud;
I see your problem is that you are too proud;
But, if you were the devil, you are fair.
But, even if you were the devil, you are beautiful.
My lord and master loves you: O, such love
The Duke Orsino loves you; Oh, such love
Could be but recompensed, though you were crown'd
Could simply be repaid, even if you were crowed
The nonpareil of beauty!
The absolute perfection of beauty!
OLIVIA
How does he love me?
How much does he love me?
VIOLA
With adorations, fertile tears,
With promises, many fat tears,
With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.
With groans of love like thunder, with sighs of fire.
OLIVIA
Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him:
Your lord does know my decision; I cannot love him:
Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,
Even though I consider him virtuous, know he is noble,
Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;
Wealthy, young;
In voices well divulged, free, learn'd and valiant;
Pleasantly voiced, free, full of learning and courage;
And in dimension and the shape of nature
And in physical appearance
A gracious person: but yet I cannot love him;
An attractive person: but yet I cannot love him;
He might have took his answer long ago.
He might have known my answer long ago.
VIOLA
If I did love you in my master's flame,
If I did love you the way my master does,
With such a suffering, such a deadly life,
Suffering so much because of it,
In your denial I would find no sense;
Your denial would make no sense;
I would not understand it.
I would not understand it.
OLIVIA
Why, what would you?
Why, what would you do?
VIOLA
Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
Make myself a cabin out of willow wood at your gate,
And call upon my soul within the house;
And keep my soul inside the house;
Write loyal cantons of contemned love
Write loyal poems of condemned love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night;
And sing them loudly even in the middle of the night;
Halloo your name to the reverberate hills
Yell your name to the echoing hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
And make the air itself
Cry out 'Olivia!' O, You should not rest
Shout out, "Olivia!" Oh, you should not rest
Between the elements of air and earth,
Anywhere between the air and the earth,
But you should pity me!
Without pitying me!
OLIVIA
You might do much.
You might manage a lot.
What is your parentage?
What is your family?
VIOLA
Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:
More than my fortune, yet I am doing all right:
I am a gentleman.
I am a nobleman.
OLIVIA
Get you to your lord;
Go back to your master;
I cannot love him: let him send no more;
I cannot love him: tell him to send no one else;
Unless, perchance, you come to me again,
Unless, maybe, you come to me again,
To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well:
To tell me how he takes it. Farewell:
I thank you for your pains: spend this for me.
Thank you for your trouble: here is some money.
VIOLA
I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your purse:
I am not a mercenary, lady; keep your coins:
My master, not myself, lacks recompense.
My master, not myself, is not getting paid back.
Love make his heart of flint that you shall love;
May love turn anyone you love's heart into a stone;
And let your fervor, like my master's, be
And may your passion, like my master's, be
Placed in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty.
Completely rejected! Farewell, beautiful cruelty.
Exit
OLIVIA
'What is your parentage?'
'What is your family?'
'Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:
'More than my money, though I am doing all right:
I am a gentleman.' I'll be sworn thou art;
I am a a gentleman.' I could swear you are;
Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions and spirit,
Your words, you face, your limbs, action and spirit,
Do give thee five-fold blazon: not too fast:
Give you five reasons to be liked: not too fast:
soft, soft!
quiet, quiet!
Unless the master were the man. How now!
Unless that actually was Orsino. What now!
Even so quickly may one catch the plague?
&nbs
p; Is it possible to fall in love so quickly?
Methinks I feel this youth's perfections
I believe I feel this youth's perfections
With an invisible and subtle stealth
Stealthily, invisibly, and subtly
To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.
To creep into my eyes. Well, let it be.
What ho, Malvolio!
Hey, Malvolio!
Re-enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO
Here, madam, at your service.
Here, madam, I am at your service.
OLIVIA
Run after that same peevish messenger,
Run after that same badly behaved messenger,
The county's man: he left this ring behind him,
The duke's man: he left this ring behind him,
Would I or not: tell him I'll none of it.
Whether I would give in or not: tell him I don't want any of it.
Desire him not to flatter with his lord,
I do not want him to flatter his lord,
Nor hold him up with hopes; I am not for him:
Or give him false hopes; I am not for him:
If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,
If that young man will come back here tomorrow,
I'll give him reasons for't: hie thee, Malvolio.
I'll give him reasons for it: off you go, Malvolio.
MALVOLIO
Madam, I will.
Exit
OLIVIA
I do I know not what, and fear to find
I don't know what I'll do, and I'm afraid to find
Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.
My eye too much a flatterer for my mind.
Fate, show thy force: ourselves we do not owe;
Fate; show your force: we do not own ourselves;
What is decreed must be, and be this so.
What must be done is what must be done.
Exit
Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN
ANTONIO
Will you stay no longer? nor will you not that I go with you?
Can't you please stay longer? Or can I go with you?