The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 390
Clown
Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid, one time or another.
Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid at one time or another.
DUKE ORSINO
Give me now leave to leave thee.
Give me permission now to leave you.
Clown
Now, the melancholy god protect thee; and the
Now, the gloomy god protect you; and the
tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for
tailor make your shirt of colorful taffeta, for
thy mind is a very opal. I would have men of such
your mind is an opal. I wish men of such
constancy put to sea, that their business might be
reliability were put out to sea, so their business could be
every thing and their intent every where; for that's
everything and their intentions everywhere; for that's
it that always makes a good voyage of nothing. Farewell.
what always makes a good voyage out of nothing. Farewell.
Exit
DUKE ORSINO
Let all the rest give place.
Everyone else leave us alone.
CURIO and Attendants retire
Once more, Cesario,
One more time, Cesario,
Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty:
Get to such ruling cruelty:
Tell her, my love, more noble than the world,
Tell her that my love, more noble than the world,
Prizes not quantity of dirty lands;
Better than tons of dirty lands;
The parts that fortune hath bestow'd upon her,
The parts that fate has given her,
Tell her, I hold as giddily as fortune;
Tell her, I value as wildly as fortune;
But 'tis that miracle and queen of gems
But it is through that miracle and queen of gems
That nature pranks her in attracts my soul.
That nature gives her, that attracts my soul.
VIOLA
But if she cannot love you, sir?
But what if she cannot love you, sir?
DUKE ORSINO
I cannot be so answer'd.
I can't accept such an answer.
VIOLA
Sooth, but you must.
Truthfully, but you must.
Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,
Say that some lady, as maybe there is,
Hath for your love a great a pang of heart
Has for your love such great pains in her heart
As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her;
As you have for Olivia: you cannot love her back;
You tell her so; must she not then be answer'd?
You tell her so; must she not then accept the answer?
DUKE ORSINO
There is no woman's sides
There is no woman's resistance
Can bide the beating of so strong a passion
That can survive the beating of so strong a passion
As love doth give my heart; no woman's heart
As love gives my heart; no oman's heart
So big, to hold so much; they lack retention
So big, to hold so much; they don't have the capacity
Alas, their love may be call'd appetite,
Unfortunately, their love may be called appetite,
No motion of the liver, but the palate,
Not of the stomach, but the palate,
That suffer surfeit, cloyment and revolt;
That can become full or tired of the same taste;
But mine is all as hungry as the sea,
But my love is as hungry as the sea,
And can digest as much: make no compare
And can digest as much: do not compare
Between that love a woman can bear me
Between the love a woman can have for me
And that I owe Olivia.
And that I have for Olivia.
VIOLA
Ay, but I know--
Yes, but I know -
DUKE ORSINO
What dost thou know?
What do you know?
VIOLA
Too well what love women to men may owe:
I know too well what love women may have to men.
In faith, they are as true of heart as we.
By my faith, they are as loyal in heart as we.
My father had a daughter loved a man,
My father had a daughter who loved a man,
As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,
As it might, possibly, if I were a woman,
I should your lordship.
I would love you.
DUKE ORSINO
And what's her history?
And what is her story?
VIOLA
A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
A blank page, sir. She never confessed her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i' the bud,
But let the secret, like a worm in the bud,
Feed on her damask cheek: she pined in thought,
Feed on her health: she wanted him in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
And full of gloom
She sat like patience on a monument,
She sat like a monument of patience,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
Smiling in her grief. Wasn't this love too?
We men may say more, swear more: but indeed
We men may say more, promise more, but indeed
Our shows are more than will; for still we prove
What we show is more than what we can do, for still we prove
Much in our vows, but little in our love.
A lot in our promises, but not much in our love.
DUKE ORSINO
But died thy sister of her love, my boy?
But did you sister die of her love, my boy?
VIOLA
I am all the daughters of my father's house,
I am all the daughters left of my family,
And all the brothers too: and yet I know not.
And all the brothers too: and yet I do not know.
Sir, shall I to this lady?
Sir, shall I go to the lady?
DUKE ORSINO
Ay, that's the theme.
Yes, that's what I want.
To her in haste; give her this jewel; say,
Go to her quickly; give her this jewel; say
My love can give no place, bide no denay.
My love cannot accept any denial.
Exeunt
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come thy ways, Signior Fabian.
Come this way, Sir Fabian.
FABIAN
Nay, I'll come: if I lose a scruple of this sport,
No, I'll come: if I lose even a moment of this fun,
let me be boiled to death with melancholy.
let me be boiled to death with gloom.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly
Wouldn't you be glad to have this miserly and ungenerous
rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame?
rascally sheep-biter come to some noteworthy shame?
FABIAN
I would exult, man: you know, he brought me out o'
I would rejoice, man: you know, he got me in trouble
favour with my lady about a bear-baiting here.
with my lady about a bear-baiting here.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Here comes the little villain.
Here comes the [insult].
Enter MARIA
How now, my metal of India!
What's going on now, my jewel?
MARIA
Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's
All three of you, hide: Malvoli
o's
coming down this walk: he has been yonder i' the
coming down this walk: he has been over in the
sun practising behavior to his own shadow this half
sun prancing around at his own shadow this past half
hour: observe him, for the love of mockery; for I
hour: watch him, for the love of mockery; for I
know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
him. Close, in the name of jesting! Lie thou there,
him. Hide, for the sake of the joke! Lie down over there,
Throws down a letter
for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.
[Ed note: It is actually possible to catch a trout by tickling, but very difficult.]
Exit
Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO
'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told
It is only luck; everything is luck. Maria once told
me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come
me she did have a fondness for me, and I have heard herself come
thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one
this close, that, if she did fall in love, it would be someone
of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more
who looked like me. Besides, she treats me with more
exalted respect than any one else that follows her.
high respect than anyone else that follows her.
What should I think on't?
What should I think of it?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Here's an overweening rogue!
Here's a preening jerk!
FABIAN
O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock
Oh, yes! He's such a peacock when he thinks,
of him: how he jets under his advanced plumes!
look how he dances under his spreading feathers!
SIR ANDREW
'Slight, I could so beat the rogue!
I swear I could beat him in a fight!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Peace, I say.
Quiet, I say.
MALVOLIO
To be Count Malvolio!
Oh if I were Count Malviolio!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Ah, rogue!
[Insult]
SIR ANDREW
Pistol him, pistol him.
Shoot him, shoot him.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Peace, peace!
Quiet, quiet!
MALVOLIO
There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy
It's happened before; the lady of the Strachy
married the yeoman of the wardrobe.
married one of her servants.
SIR ANDREW
Fie on him, Jezebel!
[More insults and cursing.]
FABIAN
O, peace! now he's deeply in: look how
Oh, enough! Look how he's deeply in: look how
imagination blows him.
imagination carries him away.
MALVOLIO
Having been three months married to her, sitting in
Having been married to her for three months, sitting in
my state,--
my splendor,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye!
Oh, I wish I had a slingshot, to hit him in the eye!
[Etc.]
MALVOLIO
Calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet
Calling my offers around me, in my velvet
gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have left
robes; having come from a bed where I have left
Olivia sleeping,--
Olivia asleep,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Fire and brimstone!
[More cursing]
FABIAN
O, peace, peace!
Oh quiet, quiet!
MALVOLIO
And then to have the humour of state; and after a
And then to be the one in charge; and after a
demure travel of regard, telling them I know my
bunch of them honoring them, telling them I know my
place as I would they should do theirs, to for my
place as I want them to know theirs, so for my
kinsman Toby,--
relative Toby,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Bolts and shackles!
[More cursing]
FABIAN
O peace, peace, peace! now, now.
Oh quiet, quiet, quiet! Now, now.
MALVOLIO
Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make
Seven of my people, obediently, make
out for him: I frown the while; and perchance wind
their way to him: I frown all the time; and maybe
up watch, or play with my--some rich jewel. Toby
play with some expensive jewel of mine. Toby
approaches; courtesies there to me,--
comes near; bows to me,--
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall this fellow live?
Should we kill him?
FABIAN
Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace.
No matter what, quiet.
MALVOLIO
I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar
I reach my hand out to him like this, keeping down my familiar
smile with an austere regard of control,--
smile with my dignified control, --
Saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on
Saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fate having brought me to your
your niece give me this prerogative of speech,'--
niece giving me this reason to speak,' --
SIR TOBY BELCH
What, what?
What now?
MALVOLIO
'You must amend your drunkenness.'
'You must control your drunkenness.'
SIR TOBY BELCH
Out, scab!
[More insults.]
FABIAN
Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.
No, patience, or else we will ruin our plot.
MALVOLIO
'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with
'Besides, you waste your valuable time with
a foolish knight,'--
a silly knight,'--
SIR ANDREW
That's me, I warrant you.
That's me, I bet.
MALVOLIO
'One Sir Andrew,'--
'That Sir Andrew,'--
SIR ANDREW
I knew 'twas I; for many do call me fool.
I knew it was me; because many call me a fool.
MALVOLIO
What employment have we here?
What do we have here?
Taking up the letter
FABIAN
Now is the woodcock near the gin.
Now the bird is near the trap.
SIR TOBY BELCH
O, peace! and the spirit of humour intimate reading
Oh, quiet! And I hope he reads
aloud to him!
aloud!
MALVOLIO
By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her
By my life, this is my lady's handwriting; these are her
very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her
own C's, her U's and her T's and that's how she makes her
great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.
large P's. It is, without a doubt, her handwriting.
SIR ANDREW
Her C's, her U's and her T's: why that?
Her C's, her U's, and her T's, what is that for?
MALVOLIO
[Reads] 'To the unknown beloved, this, and my good
'To the one who does not know I love them, this, and my good
&n
bsp; wishes:'--her very phrases! By your leave, wax.
wishes:' -- her own ways of writing! By your permission, wax.
Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she
Soft! And the mark of her ring, with which she
uses to seal: 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?
It even uses her wax seal! It must be her. To whom is it written?
FABIAN
This wins him, liver and all.
He's fallen for it.
MALVOLIO
[Reads] Jove knows I love: But who?
God knows I love. But who?
Lips, do not move;
I must stay silent;
No man must know.
No man can know.
'No man must know.' What follows? the numbers
'No man can know.' What comes after? The numbers
altered! 'No man must know:' if this should be
changed! 'No man must no:' if this turns out to be
thee, Malvolio?
you, Malvolio?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Marry, hang thee, brock!
[More curses and insults.]
MALVOLIO
[Reads] I may command where I adore;
I may give orders where I love;
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
But silence, like a sharp dagger,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
Bloodlessly stabs at my heart:
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.
M, O, A, I rules my life.
FABIAN
A fustian riddle!
What a great trick!
SIR TOBY BELCH
Excellent wench, say I.
A great woman, I say.
MALVOLIO
M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former: and
M,O,A,I; this coded message is not just like earlier,
yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for
yet, it seems to be me, because