The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 391
every one of these letters are in my name. Soft!
each one of these letters are in my name. Quiet!
here follows prose.
there is some prose now.
Reads
Reads aloud.
'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I
'If this falls into your hands, change. In my birth I
am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some
am above you; but do not be afraid of greatness: some
are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
are born great, some reach greatness, and some
have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open
have greatness pushed upon them. Your fate opens
their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them;
its hands; let your blood and spirit embrace them;
and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be,
and, to make yourself ready for what you are likely to be,
cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be
shed your humble skin and appear fresh. Be
opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let
a jerk with a family member, rude with servants; let
thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into
you make lots of arguments and get into fights
the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee
this is her advice, the one
that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy
that is in love with you. Remember who praised your
yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever
yellow stockings, and always wanted to see them
cross-gartered: I say, remember. Go to, thou art
criss-crossed: I say, remember. Go no, you are
made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see
made, if you want to be; if not, let me see
thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and
you still a steward, one of the servants, and
not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.
not worth of good fortune. Fareell.
She that would alter services with thee,
She that would change her relationship with you,
THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'
The Lucky-Sad.'
Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is
There does not seem to be any more to this letter.
open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors,
I will be haughty, I will read political authors,
I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross
I will confuse Sir Toby, I will get rid of casual
acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man.
friendships, I will be in every way the man she wants.
I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade
I am not fooling myself, to let imagination change
me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady
me; all the evidence points to this, that my lady
loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of
loves me. She did praise my recent yellow stockings,
late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered;
she did praise me wearing criss-cross garters;
and in this she manifests herself to my love, and
and in this she shows her love for me, and
with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits
with a kind of command pushes me to these habits
of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will
that she likes. I thank my lucky stars I am happy. I will
be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and
act strange, strong, in yellow stockings, and
cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting
cross-gartered, as soon as I can put them on.
on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a
Jove and my lucky stars be thanked! Here there is still a
postscript.
P.S.
Reads
'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou
You cannot choose to not to know who I am. If you
entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling;
return my love, let it appear in your smiling;
thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my
you look good when you smile; therefore in my
presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.'
presence smile always, my sweetheart, please.'
Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I will do
Thank Jove: I will smile; I will do
everything that thou wilt have me.
everything that you want from me.
Exit
FABIAN
I will not give my part of this sport for a pension
I would not give up my portion of this fun for even a pension
of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.
of thousands to be paid from the state bank.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I could marry this wench for this device.
I could marry this woman for this idea.
SIR ANDREW
So could I too.
I could too.
SIR TOBY BELCH
And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.
And ask no other dowry from her but another joke like this.
SIR ANDREW
Nor I neither.
Me neither.
FABIAN
Here comes my noble gull-catcher.
Here comes my noble prankster.
Re-enter MARIA
SIR TOBY BELCH
Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?
Will you put your foot on my neck?
SIR ANDREW
Or o' mine either?
Or on mine either?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Shall I play my freedom at traytrip, and become thy bond-slave?
Shall I get rid of my freedom, and become your slave?
SIR ANDREW
I' faith, or I either?
By my faith, me too?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when
Why, you have put in him such a dream, that when
the image of it leaves him he must run mad.
he loses it he must go crazy.
MARIA
Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
No, but tell me; is it working?
SIR TOBY BELCH
Like aqua-vitae with a midwife.
Yes, amazingly well.
MARIA
If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark
If you will then see the results of the fun, watch
his first approach before my lady: he will come to
his first approach to my lady: he will come to her
her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she
in yellow stockings, and it is a color she
abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
hates, and cross-gartered, a style she hates;
and he will smile upon her, which will now be so
and he will smile at her, which will now be so
unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a
unsuitable to her preferences, as she is so fond
melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him
of gloominess, that it can't do anything but turn him
into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me.
into something she hates. If you want to see it, follow me.
SIR TOBY BELCH
To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!
I would follow you anywhere!
SIR ANDREW
I'll make one too.
Me too.
Exeunt
Enter VIOLA, and Clown with a
tabour
VIOLA
Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by
Save you, friend, and your music: do you live by
thy tabour?
your tabour [a type of musical instrument]?
Clown
No, sir, I live by the church.
No, sir, I live by the church.
VIOLA
Art thou a churchman?
Are you a church man?
Clown
No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for
No, no, sir: I do live by the church; for
I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by
I live at my house, and my house stands by
the church.
the church [he means the actual building].
VIOLA
So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a
By that logic you may say that a king lies by a beggar, if a
beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy
beggar lives near him; or that the church stands by your
tabour, if thy tabour stand by the church.
tabour, if your tabour stands by the church.
Clown
You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
Good point. These times we live in! A sentence is
but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the
just a glove over a clever mind: how quickly the
wrong side may be turned outward!
misunderstood meaning may be taken!
VIOLA
Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with
No, that's certain; those that use words very precisely
words may quickly make them wanton.
will quickly make them wild.
Clown
I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
I would prefer, therefore, that my sister had no name, sir.
VIOLA
Why, man?
Why?
Clown
Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that
Why, sir, her name is a word, and to mess around with that
word might make my sister wanton. But indeed words
word might make my sister a hussy. But indeed words
are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.
are very rascals since they were disgraced.
VIOLA
Thy reason, man?
Your reason, man?
Clown
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and
Truthfully sir, I can't give you any without words; and
words are grown so false, I am loath to prove
since words have become so false, I would hate to prove
reason with them.
reason with them.
VIOLA
I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.
I believe you are a cheerful fellow and have no cares.
Clown
Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my
No, sir, I do care for something; but in my
conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be
conscience, sir, I do not have feelings for you one way or another: if that means
to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
to care for nothing, sir, I wish it would make you invisible.
VIOLA
Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?
Aren't you the Lady Olivia's fool?
Clown
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she
No, indeed, sir, the Lady Olivia has no foolishness: she
will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and
will keep no fool, sir, until she is married; and
fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to
fools are like husbands the way pilchards [a kind of small fish] are like
herrings; the husband's the bigger: I am indeed not
herrings; husbands are bigger ones: I am indeed not
her fool, but her corrupter of words.
her fool, but her man in charge of wordplay.
VIOLA
I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.
I saw you at the Count Orsino's.
Clown
Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
Foolery, sir, walks around the sky like the sun does,
it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but
it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, except
the fool should be as oft with your master as with
The fool should be as often with your master as with
my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.
my mistress: I think I saw there how wise you are.
VIOLA
Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.
No, leave me alone, I won't deal with you any loner.
Hold, there's expenses for thee.
Hold, here's some money.
Clown
Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
Now may Jove, in his next distribution of hair, send you a beard!
VIOLA
By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for
Truthfully, I'll tell you, I am almost sick for
one;
Aside
though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy
though it would not grow on my chin. Is your
lady within?
lady inside?
CLOWN
My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you
My lady is inside, sir. I will tell them from where you
come; who you are and what you would are out of my
come; who you are and what you want are out of my
welkin, I might say 'element,' but the word is over-worn.
sky, I might say 'element', but the word is overused.
Exit
VIOLA
This fellow is wise enough to play the fool;
This fellow is wise enough to act like a fool;
And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
And to do that well requires a kind of intelligence:
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
He must observe the moods of the people he jokes towards,
The quality of persons, and the time,
The nature of people, and the time,
And, like the haggard, cheque at every feather
And, like a hatmaker, check carefully every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practise
That comes in front of his eye. This is a practice
As full of labour as a wise man's art
As full of labor as a wise man's skill
For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
For the follow that he wisely shows fits;
But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.
But wise men, when they act as fools, ruin their wit.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, and SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY BELCH
Save you, gentleman.
Good day, gentleman.
VIOLA
And you, sir.
And you too, sir.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous
Will you come into the house? My niece wants
you should enter, if your trade be to her.
you to enter, if your job is to see her.
VIOLA
I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the
I am required to visit your niece, sir; I mean that is the
list of my voyage.
purpose of my trip.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
Try your legs, sir; get them moving.
VIOLA
My legs do better underst
and me, sir, than I
My legs do understand me better, sir, than I
understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
understand what you mean by telling me to taste my legs.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
I mean, go on, sir, enter.
VIOLA
I will answer you with gait and entrance. But we
I will answer you with walking and entering. But we are prevented.
are interrupted.
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA
Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain
Amazing and talented lady, may the heavens rain
odours on you!
fragrances on you!
SIR ANDREW
That youth's a rare courtier: 'Rain odours;' well.
That youth's an unusual nobleman: 'Rain fragrances;' well.
OLIVIA
Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
Shut the garden door, and leave us alone.
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and MARIA
Give me your hand, sir.
Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA
My duty, madam, and most humble service.
I give you my service humbly, madam.
OLIVIA
What is your name?
What's your name?
VIOLA
Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
Cesario is your servant's name, beautiful princess.
OLIVIA
My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world
My servant, sir! There was never such a silly world
Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment:
Since such pretending was called a compliment:
You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
You're a servant to Count Orsino, young man.
VIOLA
And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
And he is yours, and his must also be yours;