The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.

  The servant of your servant is your servant, madam.

  OLIVIA

  For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,

  For him, I do not think of him: as for his thoughts,

  Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me!

  If only they were blank, rather than filled with me!

  VIOLA

  Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts

  Madam, I come to sharpen your gentle thoughts

  On his behalf.

  For his sake.

  OLIVIA

  O, by your leave, I pray you,

  Oh please, I beg you,

  I bade you never speak again of him:

  I told you to never speak of him again:

  But, would you undertake another suit,

  But if instead you were to do another kind of courting,

  I had rather hear you to solicit that

  I would rather hear you do that

  Than music from the spheres.

  Than listen to heavenly music.

  VIOLA

  Dear lady,--

  My dear lady,--

  OLIVIA

  Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,

  Give me permission, please. I did send,

  After the last enchantment you did here,

  After the last time you were here,

  A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse

  A ring to chase after you: and that's how I abused

  Myself, my servant and, I fear me, you:

  Myself, my servant, and, I'm afraid, you:

  Under your hard construction must I sit,

  Under your heart heart I must sit,

  To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,

  To force that on you, in a shameful trick,

  Which you knew none of yours: what might you think?

  Which you knew was not yours: what did you think?

  Have you not set mine honour at the stake

  Have you not set my honor at the stake

  And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts

  And taunted it with all the uncontrolled thoughts

  That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving

  That a dictator of a heart can think? To one of your receiving

  Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,

  Enough is shown: a tree, not a chest,

  Hideth my heart. So, let me hear you speak.

  Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak.

  VIOLA

  I pity you.

  I feel sorry for you.

  OLIVIA

  That's a degree to love.

  That's similar to love.

  VIOLA

  No, not a grize; for 'tis a vulgar proof,

  No, not much; it's not a good proof,

  That very oft we pity enemies.

  For we very often pity enemies.

  OLIVIA

  Why, then, methinks 'tis time to smile again.

  Why, then, I think it is time to smile again.

  O, world, how apt the poor are to be proud!

  Oh, world, how appropriate the poor are to be proud!

  If one should be a prey, how much the better

  If you have to be a victim, how much better

  To fall before the lion than the wolf!

  To fall in front of the lion than the wolf!

  Clock strikes

  The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.

  The clock criticizes me with the waste of time.

  Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:

  Do not be afraid, good young man, I will not have you:

  And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,

  And yet, when wit and youth has come to full bloom,

  Your were is alike to reap a proper man:

  You seem likely to turn out to be a proper man:

  There lies your way, due west.

  Your way is that way, straight west.

  VIOLA

  Then westward-ho! Grace and good disposition

  Then I shall go west! Grace and good mood

  Attend your ladyship!

  Be with your ladyship!

  You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?

  You have nothing, madam, for me to take to my lord?

  OLIVIA

  Stay:

  Wait:

  I prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.

  Please, tell me what you think of me.

  VIOLA

  That you do think you are not what you are.

  That you think you are not what you are.

  OLIVIA

  If I think so, I think the same of you.

  If that is what I think, I also think that of you.

  VIOLA

  Then think you right: I am not what I am.

  Then you think correctly: I am not what I am.

  OLIVIA

  I would you were as I would have you be!

  I wish you were the way I wish you were!

  VIOLA

  Would it be better, madam, than I am?

  Would it be better, madam, than I am?

  I wish it might, for now I am your fool.

  I wish it would, for now I am your fool.

  OLIVIA

  O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful

  Oh, how his disinterest looks beautiful

  In the contempt and anger of his lip!

  In his angry lip!

  A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon

  A murderous guilt does not show itself more soon

  Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon.

  Than love that would seem hidden: love's night is noon.

  Cesario, by the roses of the spring,

  Cesario, I swear by the roses of spring,

  By maidhood, honour, truth and every thing,

  By my womanhood, by honor, truth, and everything,

  I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,

  I love you so, that, no matter all your pride,

  Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.

  No cleverness or wisdom can hide my passion.

  Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,

  Do not demand me to explain why,

  For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause,

  For that I woo, you therefore have no cause,

  But rather reason thus with reason fetter,

  But instead have a better reason,

  Love sought is good, but given unsought better.

  Love searched for is good, but even freely is better.

  VIOLA

  By innocence I swear, and by my youth

  By my innocence I swear, and by my youth

  I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,

  I have one heart, one chest and one truth,

  And that no woman has; nor never none

  Which no woman has, and never one

  Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.

  Shall be the mistress of it, except for me alone.

  And so adieu, good madam: never more

  And so farewell, good madam: I will never again

  Will I my master's tears to you deplore.

  Come tell you of my master's sorrows.

  OLIVIA

  Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move

  But come again; because you perhaps may begin

  That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.

  To love me the way he does.

  Exeunt

  Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN

  SIR ANDREW

  No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.

  No, by my faith, I won't stay a moment longer.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.

  Your reason, dear snake, give you reason.

  FABIAN

  You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.

  You must g
ive us your reason, Sir Andrew.

  SIR ANDREW

  Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the

  By Mary, I saw your niece give more affection to the

  count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me;

  count's serving-man than she ever gave to me;

  I saw't i' the orchard.

  I saw in the orchard.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.

  Did she see you during that time, old boy? Tell me that.

  SIR ANDREW

  As plain as I see you now.

  As clearly as I see you now.

  FABIAN

  This was a great argument of love in her toward you.

  That is good evidence of her love towards you.

  SIR ANDREW

  'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?

  Are you making fun of me?

  FABIAN

  I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of

  I will prove it real, sir, upon the strengths of

  judgment and reason.

  judgment and intelligence.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  And they have been grand-jury-men since before Noah

  And they have been good members of the jury since before Noah

  was a sailor.

  built his Ark.

  FABIAN

  She did show favour to the youth in your sight only

  to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to

  put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver.

  You should then have accosted her; and with some

  excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should

  have banged the youth into dumbness. This was

  looked for at your hand, and this was balked: the

  double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash

  off, and you are now sailed into the north of my

  lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle

  on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by

  some laudable attempt either of valour or policy.

  She only did it to make you jealous and rouse you into action.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of

  valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight

  with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall

  take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no

  love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's

  commendation with woman than report of valour.

  Why, then, challenge him to a duel; that will impress her.

  FABIAN

  There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

  There is no other way to do it, Sir Andrew.

  SIR ANDREW

  Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?

  Will either of you take my challenge to him?

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief;

  it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun

  of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink:

  if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be

  amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of

  paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em down: go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter: about it.

  Do it through a letter, written angrily and bravely.

  SIR ANDREW

  Where shall I find you?

  Where will I find you?

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go.

  We will call you at the cubiculo: go.

  Exit SIR ANDREW

  FABIAN

  This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.

  That is a valuable man to you, Sir Toby.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand

  I have been valuable to him, lad, some two thousand

  strong, or so.

  in money, or so.

  FABIAN

  We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll

  We shall have a great letter from him: but you'll

  not deliver't?

  not deliver it?

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Never trust me, then; and by all means stir on the

  youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes

  cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were

  opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as

  will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.

  I don't trust him to do well at all. You could cut him open,

  and I bet you wouldn't even find enough blood to clog

  the foot of a flea.

  FABIAN

  And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.

  And the youth seems no fighter either.

  Enter MARIA

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.

  Look, where the youngest bird of nine comes.

  MARIA

  If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself

  into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is

  turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no

  Christian, that means to be saved by believing

  rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages

  of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.

  Come see the hilarious sight! No Christian could believe

  such impossible ridiculousness. He's in yellow stockings.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  And cross-gartered?

  And tied criss-cross?

  MARIA

  Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school

  i' the church. I have dogged him, like his

  murderer. He does obey every point of the letter

  that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his

  face into more lines than is in the new map with the

  augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such

  a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things

  at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do,

  he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

  Hideously so. He won't stop smiling either, and

  I think my lady will hit him for sure, and he'll take that

  as a great compliment.

  SIR TOBY BELCH

  Come, bring us, bring us where he is.

  Take us, take us to where he is.

  Exeunt

  Enter SEBASTIAN and ANTONIO

  SEBASTIAN

  I would not by my will have troubled you;

  I wish that I had not caused you trouble;

  But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,

  But since you seem to enjoy what I thought would burden you,

  I will no further chide you.

  I will not criticize you further.

  ANTONIO

  I could not stay behind you: my desire,

  I could not stay behind; my wishes,

  More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;

  More sharp that filed steel, pushed me ahead;

  And not all love to see you, though so much

  And not just my wanting to see you, though so much

  As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,

  it was enough to make me take even a longer journey,

  But jealousy what might befall your travel,

  But worry over what might happen to you in your travels,

  Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,

  Being alone in these parts; which to a stranger,

  Unguided and unfriended, often prove

  Without a guide or a friend, often turns out to be

  Rough and unhospitable: my willing love,

  Rough
and without hospitality; my willing love,

  The rather by these arguments of fear,

  Increased by these fearful thoughts,

  Set forth in your pursuit.

  Made me run after you.

  SEBASTIAN

  My kind Antonio,

  My dear Antonio,

  I can no other answer make but thanks,

  I can make no other answer but thanks

  And thanks; and ever oft good turns

  And thanks; and so often such good turns

  Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:

  Are not repaid as they deserve to be:

  But, were my worth as is my conscience firm,

  But, if I were worth as much as my conscience is firm,

  You should find better dealing. What's to do?

  You should find a better reward. What should we do?

  Shall we go see the reliques of this town?

  Shall we go see the sights of this town?

  ANTONIO

  To-morrow, sir: best first go see your lodging.

  Tomorrow, sir: it would be best to first find you someplace to stay.

  SEBASTIAN

  I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:

  I'm not tired, and it is a long time before dark:

  I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes

  Please, let us feast our eyes

  With the memorials and the things of fame

  With the memorials and famous things

  That do renown this city.

  That this city is known for.

  ANTONIO

  Would you'ld pardon me;

  I do not without danger walk these streets:

  Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys

  I did some service; of such note indeed,

  That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.