The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 401
There is no news, my lord, he just writes onHow happily he lives, how well beloved
How happily he’s living, how he’s well likedAnd daily graced by the emperor;
And daily favored by the emperor;Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
And wishes that I were with him, as partner to his good fortune.
ANTONIO
And how stand you affected to his wish?
And how do you feel about his wish?
PROTEUS
As one relying on your lordship's will
I feel that it relies on what you want, my lord,And not depending on his friendly wish.
And doesn’t depend on my friend’s wish.
ANTONIO
My will is something sorted with his wish.
What I want is somewhat in agreement with his wish.Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
Don’t be surprised that I so suddenly bring this up;For what I will, I will, and there an end.
Since what I want, I want and there the discussion ends.I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time
I am determined that you will spend some timeWith Valentinus in the emperor's court:
With Valentine in the emperor’s court:What maintenance he from his friends receives,
What funds he received from his friends,Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
As an allowance you will receive from me.To-morrow be in readiness to go:
Tomorrow be ready to go:Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.
Don’t decline, because I am absolutely decided.
PROTEUS
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:
My lord, I can’t be ready so soon:Please you, deliberate a day or two.
Please, think about to for a day or two.
ANTONIO
Look what thou want'st shall be sent after thee:
Whatever you need will be gathered for you:No more of stay! to-morrow thou must go.
Don’t talk anymore of staying! Tomorrow you will go.Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ'd
Come on, Panthino: you will workTo hasten on his expedition.
To make his journey come together quickly.
Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO
PROTEUS
Thus have I shunn'd the fire for fear of burning,
And so I have jumped away from the fire since I was afraid to be burnedAnd drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd.
And soaked myself in the sea instead, where I have drownedI fear'd to show my father Julia's letter,
I was afraid to show Julia’s letter to my father,Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
In case he should disprove of my love;And with the vantage of mine own excuse
And with the use of my own excuseHath he excepted most against my love.
He has made the biggest obstacle to my love.O, how this spring of love resembleth
Oh, how this love is like spring, and resemblesThe uncertain glory of an April day,
The uncertain beauty of a day in April,Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
Which in one moment is sunny and beautiful,And by and by a cloud takes all away!
And in another a cloud takes all that away!
Re-enter PANTHINO
PANTHINO
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:
Sir Proteus, your father is asking for you:He is in haste; therefore, I pray you to go.
He is in a hurry: so, I ask you to please go.
PROTEUS
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
Well, this is it: my heart agrees to this,And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.'
But still it says ‘no’ a thousand times and is reluctant to leave.
Exeunt
The DUKE's palace.
Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
SPEED
Sir, your glove.
Sir, here’s your glove.
VALENTINE
Not mine; my gloves are on.
It’s not mine; my gloves are on.
SPEED
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Well, then, take it anyway, since it’s only one of a pair.
VALENTINE
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
Ha! Let me see it: yes, give it to me, it’s mine:Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
What a sweet article of clothing that was worn by such a lovely woman!Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
SPEED
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia
VALENTINE
How now, sirrah?
What are you doing, man?
SPEED
She is not within hearing, sir.
She’s not within hearing distance, sir.
VALENTINE
Why, sir, who bade you call her?
Tell me, sir, who asked you to call for her?
SPEED
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
You did, my lord; or else I misunderstood.
VALENTINE
Well, you'll still be too forward.
Well, you’re always too hasty.
SPEED
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
But last time I was scolded for being too slow.
VALENTINE
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
Get on with it, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
SPEED
She that your worship loves?
The woman that you love, my lord?
VALENTINE
Why, how know you that I am in love?
Well, how do you know that I am in love?
SPEED
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
By Mary, by these certains signs: first off, you havelearned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
Learned, like Sir Proteus, to cross your arms,like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
Like someone unhappy; learned to sing a love-song, like therobin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
Red-breasted songbird; to walk alone, like one who isthe pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
Ill; to sigh, like a schoolboy who haslost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
Lost his school books; to weep, like a young girl who hasburied her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
Just buried her grandmother; to not eat, like someone who’s on adiet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
Diet; to stay awake at night, like someone who’s afraid to be robbed; tospeak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
Speak with a whimper, like a beggar on All Saint’s Day. You used to bewont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
Accustomed to crow like a cock, when you laughed; when youwalked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
Walked, you did so like a lion; when youfasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
Didn’t eat, it was right after dinner; when youlooked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
Looked upset, it was because you needed money: and now youare metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
Have been transformed by a lady, so that, when I lookon you, I can hardly think you my master.
At you, I can hardly recognize my master.
VALENTINE
Are all these things perceived in me?
You can see all of these things in my presence?
SPEED
They are all perceived without ye.
I can see all of them out of your presence.
VALENTINE
Without me? they cannot.
When I’m not around? You can’t.
SPEED
Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
When you’re not around? No, that’s for sure, since—unless youwere so simple, none else would: but you
are so
Were so simple—no one would; but you are sowithout these follies, that these follies are within
Opposed to these silly things, that when you’re doing these silly thingsyou and shine through you like the water in an
They are as obvious as water is in anurinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
Urinal, so that not a single person sees you who isn’t aphysician to comment on your malady.
Doctor to comment on your sickness.
VALENTINE
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
But tell me, do you know my lady Silvia?
SPEED
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
The woman that you stare at like that while she sits at supper?
VALENTINE
Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.
Have you noticed that? I mean, her.
SPEED
Why, sir, I know her not.
Well, sir, I don’t know her.
VALENTINE
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
Do you only know her from me staring at her, butknowest her not?
Not know her?
SPEED
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
Isn’t she unattractive, sir?
VALENTINE
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
At just pretty, boy, but very attractive.
SPEED
Sir, I know that well enough.
Sir, I know that well enough.
VALENTINE
What dost thou know?
What do you know?
SPEED
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
That she is not just pretty but very attractive to you.
VALENTINE
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her attractiveness is endless.
SPEED
That's because the one is painted and the other out
That’s because one of them is artificial on and the other isof all count.
Beyond measureing.
VALENTINE
How painted? and how out of count?
How is it artificial? And how beyond measure?
SPEED
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
By Mary, sir, so painted with make-up to make her pretty, that noman counts of her beauty.
Man values her beauty.
VALENTINE
How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
What do you think of me? I value her beauty.
SPEED
You never saw her since she was deformed.
You haven’t seen her since she was disfigured.
VALENTINE
How long hath she been deformed?
How long has she been disfigured?
SPEED
Ever since you loved her.
Ever since you began to love her.
VALENTINE
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still Isee her beautiful.
Think she is beautiful.
SPEED
If you love her, you cannot see her.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
VALENTINE
Why?
Why not?
SPEED
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
Because Love is blind. Oh, if only you could see through my eyes;or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
Or if you won eyes saw how they used tohave when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
When you would nag at Sir Proteus for goingungartered!
Without his garters as a love-sick man does!
VALENTINE
What should I see then?
What would I see then?
SPEED
Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
Your own current foolishness and her extreme deformity:for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
For Proteus, when he was in love, could not see to but on hishose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Garters, and you, now that you are in love, cannot see to put on your pants.
VALENTINE
Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
Perhaps, boy, then, you are in love; for yesterday morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
Morning you couldn’t see to clean my shoes.
SPEED
True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
It’s true, sir; I was in love with my bed: I’ll tell you,you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
You beat me for my love, which makes me all the morebolder to chide you for yours.
Brave to scold you for yours.
VALENTINE
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
In conclusion, I stand totally in love with her.
SPEED
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
I wish you were calmly seated, so your love would end.
VALENTINE
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
Last night she urged me to write a letter toone she loves.
Someone she loves.
SPEED
And have you?
And have you?
VALENTINE
I have.
I have.
SPEED
Are they not lamely writ?
Are they badly written?
VALENTINE
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
No, boy, but written as well as I can. Be calm!here she comes.
Here she comes.
SPEED
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
[Aside] Oh, what a great puppet-show! Oh, what a good puppet she is!Now will he interpret to her.
Now he will be the puppet-master for her puppet!
Enter SILVIA
VALENTINE
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
Madam and mistress, I wish you a thousand good mornings.
SPEED
[Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.
[Aside] Oh, not even a good evening! Here’s an excessive use of manners.
SILVIA
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Sir Valentine and his servant, may you have two thousand good mornings.
SPEED
[Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.
[Aside] He should show his interest in her, and she’ll give it back to him double.
VALENTINE
As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
As you asked me, I have written your letterUnto the secret nameless friend of yours;
To this secret nameless lover of yours;Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
Which I was very unwilling to doBut for my duty to your ladyship.
Except that it was my duty to you, my lady.
SILVIA
I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.
Thank you, kind follower: it’s very cleverly done.
VALENTINE
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
Now believe me, madam, it was hard to do;For being ignorant to whom it goes
Since I didn’t know who it was meant forI writ at random, very doubtfully.
I wrote randomly, and with uncertainty.
SILVIA
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Perhaps you think it was too much trouble?
VALENTINE
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write
No, madam; if it will help you, I will writePlease you command, a thousand times as much; And yet—
If you ask me to, I would
do so I thousand times; But still—
SILVIA
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
A nice little pause! Well, I will guess what was going to come next;And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
But I won’t say what it was; and still I don’t care;And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
But take this back; and thank you,Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
This means after this I won’t bother you again.
SPEED
[Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
[Aside] But you will; and still there’s another ‘but.’
VALENTINE
What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
What do you mean, my lady? Do you not like it?
SILVIA
Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
Yes, yes; the letter is very skillfully written;But since unwillingly, take them again.
But since it was written unwillingly, take it back again.Nay, take them.
No, take it.
VALENTINE
Madam, they are for you.
Madam, it is for you.
SILVIA
Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
Yes, yes: since you wrote it, sir, at my request;But I will none of them; they are for you;
But I won’t take it; you take it;I would have had them writ more movingly.
I wish you had written it more sincerely.
VALENTINE
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
If you want, I’ll write another letter for you, my lady.
SILVIA
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,