The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  No, come and sit down; then go on.

  MAMILLIUS

  Dwelt by a churchyard: I will tell it softly;

  Yond crickets shall not hear it.

  Who lived by a churchyard: I shall whisper it;

  it won't disturb those crickets outside.

  HERMIONE

  Come on, then,

  And give't me in mine ear.

  Enter LEONTES, with ANTIGONUS, Lords and others

  Come on, then,

  and whisper it to me.

  LEONTES

  Was he met there? his train? Camillo with him?

  You saw him there? With his entourage? Camillo was with him?

  First Lord

  Behind the tuft of pines I met them; never

  Saw I men scour so on their way: I eyed them

  Even to their ships.

  I saw them behind the stand of pines; I never

  saw men in such a hurry: I watched them

  all the way to their ships.

  LEONTES

  How blest am I

  In my just censure, in my true opinion!

  Alack, for lesser knowledge! how accursed

  In being so blest! There may be in the cup

  A spider steep'd, and one may drink, depart,

  And yet partake no venom, for his knowledge

  Is not infected: but if one present

  The abhorr'd ingredient to his eye, make known

  How he hath drunk, he cracks his gorge, his sides,

  With violent hefts. I have drunk,

  and seen the spider.

  Camillo was his help in this, his pander:

  There is a plot against my life, my crown;

  All's true that is mistrusted: that false villain

  Whom I employ'd was pre-employ'd by him:

  He has discover'd my design, and I

  Remain a pinch'd thing; yea, a very trick

  For them to play at will. How came the posterns

  So easily open?

  How right I was

  in my judgement, in my sentence!

  I wish I knew less! How cursed I am

  in being right! There might be a spider

  soaked in the cup, and one can drink, leave,

  and not be poisoned, for his mind

  is not infected: but if someone shows

  the horrible ingredient to him, lets him know

  what he has drunk, he gags and his sides split

  with violent heaves. I have drunk,

  and seen the spider.

  Camillo was his help in this, his pain.

  There is a plot against my life, and my throne.

  Everything I suspected is true. That false villain

  I had in my service was already in his service.

  He has revealed my plan, and I

  remain tormented; just something

  for them to play with. Why was it so easy

  for them to get through the gates?

  First Lord

  By his great authority;

  Which often hath no less prevail'd than so

  On your command.

  Because of his position;

  he often had them opened in the same way

  at your command.

  LEONTES

  I know't too well.

  Give me the boy: I am glad you did not nurse him:

  Though he does bear some signs of me, yet you

  Have too much blood in him.

  I'm all too aware of that.

  Give me the boy: I'm glad you didn't breastfeed him:

  although he does show some elements of me,

  there is too much of your blood in him.

  HERMIONE

  What is this? sport?

  What's this? A joke?

  LEONTES

  Bear the boy hence; he shall not come about her;

  Away with him! and let her sport herself

  With that she's big with; for 'tis Polixenes

  Has made thee swell thus.

  Carry the boy away; he will not be with her;

  take him away! Let her play

  with the one in her belly; for it is Polixenes

  the put that one there.

  HERMIONE

  But I'ld say he had not,

  And I'll be sworn you would believe my saying,

  Howe'er you lean to the nayward.

  But I shall say that he did not,

  and I swear that you will believe me,

  however much you tried to deny it.

  LEONTES

  You, my lords,

  Look on her, mark her well; be but about

  To say 'she is a goodly lady,' and

  The justice of your hearts will thereto add

  'Tis pity she's not honest, honourable:'

  Praise her but for this her without-door form,

  Which on my faith deserves high speech, and straight

  The shrug, the hum or ha, these petty brands

  That calumny doth use--O, I am out--

  That mercy does, for calumny will sear

  Virtue itself: these shrugs, these hums and ha's,

  When you have said 'she's goodly,' come between

  Ere you can say 'she's honest:' but be 't known,

  From him that has most cause to grieve it should be,

  She's an adulteress.

  My lords,

  take a good look at her; if you're about

  to say, ‘there's a good lady,’ then

  the justice in your hearts will add

  ‘it's a pity she's not honest and honourable:’

  only praise her for her external appearance,

  which I must say certainly does deserve praise,

  and eschew the shrugging mumbles falsehood uses-

  oh, I'm wrong - I should say that mercy uses,

  for falsehood burns mercy itself - the shrugging mumbles,

  when you have said, "she's beautiful," interpose,

  before you can say, "she's honest"; but let it be known,

  from the one who has most cause to regret that it's true:

  she's an adulteress.

  HERMIONE

  Should a villain say so,

  The most replenish'd villain in the world,

  He were as much more villain: you, my lord,

  Do but mistake.

  If a villain should say so,

  if he was the most complete villain in the world,

  he would become even more of a villain: you, my lord,

  are making a mistake.

  LEONTES

  You have mistook, my lady,

  Polixenes for Leontes: O thou thing!

  Which I'll not call a creature of thy place,

  Lest barbarism, making me the precedent,

  Should a like language use to all degrees

  And mannerly distinguishment leave out

  Betwixt the prince and beggar: I have said

  She's an adulteress; I have said with whom:

  More, she's a traitor and Camillo is

  A federary with her, and one that knows

  What she should shame to know herself

  But with her most vile principal, that she's

  A bed-swerver, even as bad as those

  That vulgars give bold'st titles, ay, and privy

  To this their late escape.

  You have made the mistake, my lady,

  mistaking Polixenes for Leontes: oh you!

  I will not call someone of your rank by the name you deserve,

  in case vulgarity, using me as a precedent,

  should use the same sort of language to all ranks

  and not make the appropriate distinction between

  princes and beggars: I have said

  that she's an adulteress; I have said with whom.

  What's more, she is a traitor, and Camillo is

  her accomplice, someone who knows

  the facts which she would be ashamed to have known,

  even if only by her foul associate–that she'
s

  a bed hopper, just as bad as the ones

  the common people give the worst names; yes,

  and she was in on their recent escape.

  HERMIONE

  No, by my life,

  Privy to none of this. How will this grieve you,

  When you shall come to clearer knowledge, that

  You thus have publish'd me! Gentle my lord,

  You scarce can right me throughly then to say

  You did mistake.

  No, I swear,

  I didn't know anything about this. How bad you'll feel,

  when you know more about this, that you

  have called me these names! My gentle lord,

  it will hardly make up for it then to say

  that you were mistaken.

  LEONTES

  No; if I mistake

  In those foundations which I build upon,

  The centre is not big enough to bear

  A school-boy's top. Away with her! to prison!

  He who shall speak for her is afar off guilty

  But that he speaks.

  No, if I'm mistaken

  in the foundations I'm building upon,

  the Earth is not big enough to support

  a schoolboy's top. Take her away! To prison!

  Anyone who tries to defend her is guilty

  just for speaking.

  HERMIONE

  There's some ill planet reigns:

  I must be patient till the heavens look

  With an aspect more favourable. Good my lords,

  I am not prone to weeping, as our sex

  Commonly are; the want of which vain dew

  Perchance shall dry your pities: but I have

  That honourable grief lodged here which burns

  Worse than tears drown: beseech you all, my lords,

  With thoughts so qualified as your charities

  Shall best instruct you, measure me; and so

  The king's will be perform'd!

  Some evil planet is ruling:

  I must be patient until the stars

  are more in my favour. My good lords,

  I do not usually weep, as the rest of my sex

  often do; the lack of that pointless moisture

  might dry up your pity: but I have

  an honourable grief in my heart which burns

  worse than any tears: I beg you all, my lords,

  soften your thoughts towards me as much

  as much as your good instincts tell you, and judge me;

  and so may the king's will be done!

  LEONTES

  Shall I be heard?

  Will my orders be followed?

  HERMIONE

  Who is't that goes with me? Beseech your highness,

  My women may be with me; for you see

  My plight requires it. Do not weep, good fools;

  There is no cause: when you shall know your mistress

  Has deserved prison, then abound in tears

  As I come out: this action I now go on

  Is for my better grace. Adieu, my lord:

  I never wish'd to see you sorry; now

  I trust I shall. My women, come; you have leave.

  Who is going to come with me? Please, your highness,

  let my women come with me; you can see

  my condition needs them. Don't weep, good fools;

  there is no reason to: when you know that your mistress

  deserved to go to prison, then be in floods of tears

  when I come out: the thing that I suffer now

  will end to my credit. Goodbye, my lord:

  I never before wanted to see you apologise; now

  I hope that I will. Come on, my women; you have permission.

  LEONTES

  Go, do our bidding; hence!

  Exit HERMIONE, guarded; with Ladies

  Go on, do as I order; get out!

  First Lord

  Beseech your highness, call the queen again.

  Please, your highness, call the queen again.

  ANTIGONUS

  Be certain what you do, sir, lest your justice

  Prove violence; in the which three great ones suffer,

  Yourself, your queen, your son.

  Be certain about what you're doing, sir, in case

  your justice proves evil; if it does three great ones will suffer,

  yourself, your queen, and your son.

  First Lord

  For her, my lord,

  I dare my life lay down and will do't, sir,

  Please you to accept it, that the queen is spotless

  I' the eyes of heaven and to you; I mean,

  In this which you accuse her.

  I would lay my life down for her,

  my lord, and I will do it;

  please accept that the queen is innocent

  in the eyes of heaven and your own; I mean,

  innocent of what you accuse her.

  ANTIGONUS

  If it prove

  She's otherwise, I'll keep my stables where

  I lodge my wife; I'll go in couples with her;

  Than when I feel and see her no farther trust her;

  For every inch of woman in the world,

  Ay, every dram of woman's flesh is false, if she be.

  If it's proved

  that she is not, I'll turn my wife's lodgings

  into a stable; I'll go about with her tethered to me;

  I will not trust her to go out of my sight;

  for every part of every woman in the world,

  every ounce of women's flesh, is false, if she is.

  LEONTES

  Hold your peaces.

  Be quiet.

  First Lord

  Good my lord,--

  My good lord–

  ANTIGONUS

  It is for you we speak, not for ourselves:

  You are abused and by some putter-on

  That will be damn'd for't; would I knew the villain,

  I would land-damn him. Be she honour-flaw'd,

  I have three daughters; the eldest is eleven

  The second and the third, nine, and some five;

  If this prove true, they'll pay for't:

  by mine honour,

  I'll geld 'em all; fourteen they shall not see,

  To bring false generations: they are co-heirs;

  And I had rather glib myself than they

  Should not produce fair issue.

  We are speaking for you, not for ourselves:

  you have been tricked by some deceiver

  who will be damned for it; I wish I knew who the villain is,

  I would give him a good thrashing. If she is dishonourable,

  I have three daughters; the oldest is eleven,

  the second and third are nine and around five;

  if this is true, they'll pay for it:

  I swear,

  I'd sterilise them all; they would not get to fourteen,

  to breed bastards: they are my inheritors;

  and I would rather castrate myself than see them

  not produce legitimate heirs.

  LEONTES

  Cease; no more.

  You smell this business with a sense as cold

  As is a dead man's nose: but I do see't and feel't

  As you feel doing thus; and see withal

  The instruments that feel.

  Stop; that's enough.

  Your sense of smell in this business is as cold

  as a dead man's nose: but I can see it and feel it

  as you feel when I this; and I can feel

  by touch as well.

  ANTIGONUS

  If it be so,

  We need no grave to bury honesty:

  There's not a grain of it the face to sweeten

  Of the whole dungy earth.

  If it is true,

  we will not need a grave to bury honesty in:

  there would not be a grain of it anywhere

  to sweeten the dung
like face of earth.

  LEONTES

  What! lack I credit?

  What! Do you disbelieve me?

  First Lord

  I had rather you did lack than I, my lord,

  Upon this ground; and more it would content me

  To have her honour true than your suspicion,

  Be blamed for't how you might.

  I would rather you were wrong than I, my lord,

  in this business; and I would be happier

  for her honour to be proved rather than your suspicion,

  however badly that reflected on you.

  LEONTES

  Why, what need we

  Commune with you of this, but rather follow

  Our forceful instigation? Our prerogative

  Calls not your counsels, but our natural goodness

  Imparts this; which if you, or stupefied

  Or seeming so in skill, cannot or will not

  Relish a truth like us, inform yourselves

  We need no more of your advice: the matter,

  The loss, the gain, the ordering on't, is all

  Properly ours.

  Why, why should I

  debate this with you, when I can carry on

  with what I've started? My rights as king

  do not require me to ask your advice, I only asked

  out of my natural goodness; if you, made stupid

  or pretending to have been, cannot or will not

  see the truth like I can, then I can tell you

  I don't need any more of your advice: this business,

  the loss, the gain, and the management of it, is all

  rightly down to me.

  ANTIGONUS

  And I wish, my liege,

  You had only in your silent judgment tried it,

  Without more overture.

  And I wish, my lord,

  you had thought it over yourself first,

  without making it public.

  LEONTES

  How could that be?

  Either thou art most ignorant by age,

  Or thou wert born a fool. Camillo's flight,