The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 556
Striking his head
And thy dear judgment out! Go, go, my people.
You foul kite! You are a liar.
My entourage are the best, most noble men,
who know all there is to know about their duty,
and know exactly how to maintain
their honor. What a little fault it was
that looked so ugly in Cordelia!
It was like a machine that tore out
my heart; it emptied my heart of love,
and poured in bitterness. Oh Lear, Lear, Lear!
Smash on this gate, that let your stupidity in
and let your common sense out! On you go, my people.
ALBANY
My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
Of what hath moved you.
My lord, I am not guilty as I don't know
what has upset you.
KING LEAR
It may be so, my lord.
Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
To make this creature fruitful!
Into her womb convey sterility!
Dry up in her the organs of increase;
And from her derogate body never spring
A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
With cadent tears fret
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child! Away, away!
Exit
That may be the case, my lord.
Listen, nature, listen! Dear goddess, listen!
If you intended for this creature to bear children,
suspend your plans!
Make her womb sterile!
Dry up her reproductive system;
and never let her degenerate body produce
a baby to honor her! If she must spawn,
let her have a child made only of spleen: so it can live
and be a twisted unloving torture to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles onto her youthful brow;
May storms of tears cut channels in her cheeks,
greet all her motherly efforts and gifts
with contempt and laughter, so she can feel
how much sharper than a snake's tooth it is
to have an ungrateful child! Come on, come on!
ALBANY
Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?
Now, by all the gods that we adore, what brought this on?
GONERIL
Never afflict yourself to know the cause;
But let his disposition have that scope
That dotage gives it.
Re-enter KING LEAR
Don't bother trying to find out the reason;
just let him carry on
as senile old fools do.
KING LEAR
What, fifty of my followers at a clap!
Within a fortnight!
So, you want me to lose fifty of my followers in one go!
Within a fortnight!
ALBANY
What's the matter, sir?
What's the matter, sir?
KING LEAR
I'll tell thee:
To GONERIL
Life and death! I am ashamed
That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!
The untented woundings of a father's curse
Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck ye out,
And cast you, with the waters that you lose,
To temper clay. Yea, it is come to this?
Let is be so: yet have I left a daughter,
Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:
When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think
I have cast off for ever: thou shalt,
I warrant thee.
Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT, and Attendants
I'll tell you:
By life and death! I'm ashamed
that you can disturb me so much;
if only you were worth these hot tears
which I can't control. Curses and confusion to you!
GONERIL
Do you mark that, my lord?
Did you see that, my lord?
ALBANY
I cannot be so partial, Goneril,
To the great love I bear you,--
I cannot be so biased, Goneril,
towards the great love I have for you–
GONERIL
Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!
To the Fool
You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.
Please, that's enough. Oswald, come here!
You, sir, who is more of a knave than a fool, follow your master.
Fool
Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool
with thee.
A fox, when one has caught her,
And such a daughter,
Should sure to the slaughter,
If my cap would buy a halter:
So the fool follows after.
Exit
Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, wait and take the fool
with you.
A trapped fox, when you've caught her,
and a daughter like this,
should be sent to the slaughter,
if my cap could pay for the rope:
and so the fool follows on.
GONERIL
This man hath had good counsel:--a hundred knights!
'Tis politic and safe to let him keep
At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,
Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!
This man has had good advice: a hundred knights!
Oh yes, it's a sensible and safe to let him keep
a hundred armed knights: yes, so that with every dream,
every rumour, every imagining, every complaint or dislike
he can back up his senility with their power,
and hold our lives in his hand. Oswald, here!
ALBANY
Well, you may fear too far.
Well, you may be worrying too much.
GONERIL
Safer than trust too far:
Let me still take away the harms I fear,
Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister
If she sustain him and his hundred knights
When I have show'd the unfitness,--
Re-enter OSWALD
How now, Oswald!
What, have you writ that letter to my sister?
That's better than not worrying enough:
let me always remove the danger I fear
rather than live in fear of danger: I know what he's like.
I have written to tell my sister what he said;
if she supports him and his hundred knights
after I have shown her why she shouldn't–
Hello there, Oswald!
Now, have you written that letter to my sister?
OSWALD
Yes, madam.
Yes, madam.
GONERIL
Take you some company, and away to horse:
Inform her full of my particular fear;
And thereto add such reasons of your own
As may compact it more. Get you gone;
And hasten your r
eturn.
Take some men, and get on your horses:
give her all the details about my personal fears;
and add to it any reasons of your own
which strengthen the case. Get going,
and hurry back.
Exit OSWALD
No, no, my lord,
This milky gentleness and course of yours
Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom
Than praised for harmful mildness.
No, no, my lord,
this soft gentleness and action of yours,
although I don't condemn you for it, if you'll excuse me,
you're more to be criticised for a lack of wisdom
than praised for a mildness which will do harm.
ALBANY
How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell:
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.
I can't tell how well you've predicted the future:
trying to improve things, we often damage the good things we have.
GONERIL
Nay, then--
No, but–
ALBANY
Well, well; the event.
Exeunt
All right, all right; we'll wait and see what happens.
Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool
KING LEAR
Go you before to Gloucester with these letters.
Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you
know than comes from her demand out of the letter.
If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.
You go ahead with this letter to Gloucester.
Don't tell my daughter about anything, except for
answering any questions she has about the letter.
If you don't hurry, I will be there before you.
KENT
I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered
your letter.
Exit
I won't sleep, my lord, until I have delivered
your letter.
Fool
If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in
danger of kibes?
If a man had brains in his heels, wouldn't he be
in danger of chilblains?
KING LEAR
Ay, boy.
Yes, boy.
Fool
Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne'er go
slip-shod.
Then, I beg you, be happy; you haven't any brains
to protect.
KING LEAR
Ha, ha, ha!
Hah, hah, hah!
Fool
Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly;
for though she's as like this as a crab's like an
apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.
We shall see if your other daughter treats you well;
although her and Goneril are two peas in a pod,
I can see what I can see.
KING LEAR
Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?
What can you see, my boy?
Fool
She will taste as like this as a crab does to a
crab. Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i'
the middle on's face?
She will be just as bitter as this one.
Do you know why your nose is in
the middle of your face?
KING LEAR
No.
No.
Fool
Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose; that
what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
Why, to keep your eyes apart; so if you can't
smell mischief, you can see it.
KING LEAR
I did her wrong--
I did her wrong–
Fool
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
Do you know how an oyster makes his shell?
KING LEAR
No.
No.
Fool
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.
Me neither; but I know why snail has a house.
KING LEAR
Why?
Why?
Fool
Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his
daughters, and leave his horns without a case.
Why, to keep his head in; not to give it away to his
daughters, and leave himself unprotected.
KING LEAR
I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my
horses ready?
I will go against my nature and stop being a kind father!
Are my horses ready?
Fool
Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why the
seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
Your asses are seeing to them. There's a good reason
why the seven stars are only seven.
KING LEAR
Because they are not eight?
Because there are not eight of them?
Fool
Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.
Yes indeed: you would make a good fool.
KING LEAR
To take 't again perforce! Monster ingratitude!
Perhaps I should take my kingdom back by force! The terrible ingratitude!
Fool
If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'ld have thee beaten
for being old before thy time.
Nuncle, if you were my fool I would have you beaten
for being old before your time.
KING LEAR
How's that?
What do you mean?
Fool
Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst
been wise.
You should have got wise before
you got old.
KING LEAR
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!
Enter Gentleman
How now! are the horses ready?
Now don't let me go mad, not mad, dear heaven
keep me calm: I don't want to go mad!
Hello there! Are the horses ready?
Gentleman
Ready, my lord.
They are ready my lord.
KING LEAR
Come, boy.
Come on, boy.
Fool
She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure,
Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.
Exeunt
The one who's a virgin now, and laughs at my going,
won't be a virgin for long, unless we run out of time.
Enter EDMUND, and CURAN meets him
EDMUND
Save thee, Curan.
God protect you, Curan.
CURAN
And you, sir. I have been with your father, and
given him notice that the Duke of Cornwall and Regan
his duchess will be here with him this night.
And you, sir. I have been with your father, and
told him that the Duke of Cornwall and Regan
his Duchess will join him here tonight.
EDMUND
How comes that?
Why is this happening?
CURAN
Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news abroad;
I mean the whispered ones, for they are yet but
ear-kissing arguments?
I can't say. You will have heard the news;
I mean the whispered news, for what is it
at the moment but gossip?
EDMUND
Not I pray you, what are they?
I've heard nothing, what is this news?
CURAN
Have you heard of no likely wars toward, 'twixt the
Dukes of Cornwall and Albany?
Haven't you heard that there is proba
bly going to be a war
between the Dukes of Cornwall and Albany?
EDMUND
Not a word.
I've not heard a word.
CURAN
You may do, then, in time. Fare you well, sir.
Exit
You may do, in time. Farewell, sir.
EDMUND
The duke be here to-night? The better! best!
This weaves itself perforce into my business.
My father hath set guard to take my brother;
And I have one thing, of a queasy question,
Which I must act: briefness and fortune, work!
Brother, a word; descend: brother, I say!
Enter EDGAR
My father watches: O sir, fly this place;
Intelligence is given where you are hid;
You have now the good advantage of the night:
Have you not spoken 'gainst the Duke of Cornwall?
He's coming hither: now, i' the night, i' the haste,
And Regan with him: have you nothing said
Upon his party 'gainst the Duke of Albany?
Advise yourself.