The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  The Duke will be here tonight? That's better! That's the best!

  This plays nicely into my hands.

  My father has set guards to capture my brother;

  and I have some delicate business

  to attend to: speed and luck, work for me!

  Brother, let me have a word with you; come down: brother, I'm calling!

  My father is looking for you: sir, run away;

  his spies know where you are hiding;

  you now have darkness in your favour:

  didn't you speak out against the Duke of Cornwall?

  He's coming here: now, tonight, and hurrying,

  bringing Regan with him: have you ever said anything

  in his favour, against the Duke of Albany?

  Think carefully.

  EDGAR

  I am sure on't, not a word.

  I am positive that I've said nothing.

  EDMUND

  I hear my father coming: pardon me:

  In cunning I must draw my sword upon you

  Draw; seem to defend yourself; now quit you well.

  Yield: come before my father. Light, ho, here!

  Fly, brother. Torches, torches! So, farewell.

  Exit EDGAR

  Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion.

  Wounds his arm

  Of my more fierce endeavour: I have seen drunkards

  Do more than this in sport. Father, father!

  Stop, stop! No help?

  Enter GLOUCESTER, and Servants with torches

  I can hear my father coming: forgive me,

  to look genuine I must draw my sword against you;

  you draw yours, pretend to defend yourself, now fight strongly.

  Surrender: come to my father. Give me a light, here!

  Run, brother. Bring the torches! So, farewell.

  If I spill some blood people will think

  I really fought well: I've seen drunkards

  do themselves more damage for fun. Father, father!

  Stop, stop! Will nobody help me?

  GLOUCESTER

  Now, Edmund, where's the villain?

  Now, Edmund, where is the villain?

  EDMUND

  Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,

  Mumbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon

  To stand auspicious mistress,--

  He stood here in the dark, waving his sharp sword,

  muttering about wicked spells, ordering the moon

  to come to his aid–

  GLOUCESTER

  But where is he?

  But where has he gone?

  EDMUND

  Look, sir, I bleed.

  Looks sir, I am bleeding.

  GLOUCESTER

  Where is the villain, Edmund?

  Edmund, where has the villain gone?

  EDMUND

  Fled this way, sir. When by no means he could--

  He ran this way, sir. When there was no way for him–

  GLOUCESTER

  Pursue him, ho! Go after.

  Exeunt some Servants

  By no means what?

  Chase him! Follow him.

  No way for him to what?

  EDMUND

  Persuade me to the murder of your lordship;

  But that I told him, the revenging gods

  'Gainst parricides did all their thunders bend;

  Spoke, with how manifold and strong a bond

  The child was bound to the father; sir, in fine,

  Seeing how loathly opposite I stood

  To his unnatural purpose, in fell motion,

  With his prepared sword, he charges home

  My unprovided body, lanced mine arm:

  But when he saw my best alarum'd spirits,

  Bold in the quarrel's right, roused to the encounter,

  Or whether gasted by the noise I made,

  Full suddenly he fled.

  Persuade me to help murder your lordship;

  instead I told him that the avenging gods

  throw down all their anger against those who kill the fathers;

  I told him how many strong bonds

  there are between a child and his father; to sum up,

  seeing how much I detested

  his unnatural plans he charged me

  with his already drawn sword

  against my un-armoured body, and pierced my arm:

  but when he saw that my blood was up,

  ready to fight, knowing I was in the right,

  or maybe he was frightened by the noise I made,

  he suddenly ran off.

  GLOUCESTER

  Let him fly far:

  Not in this land shall he remain uncaught;

  And found--dispatch. The noble duke my master,

  My worthy arch and patron, comes to-night:

  By his authority I will proclaim it,

  That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,

  Bringing the murderous coward to the stake;

  He that conceals him, death.

  He can run as far as he likes;

  if he stays in this land he will be caught,

  and when he's caught he'll be killed. The noble Duke my master,

  my good patron and protector, is coming tonight:

  I shall use his authority to announce

  that whoever catches him will be rewarded

  for bringing the murderous coward to execution;

  and it will be death for anyone who hides him.

  EDMUND

  When I dissuaded him from his intent,

  And found him pight to do it, with curst speech

  I threaten'd to discover him: he replied,

  'Thou unpossessing bastard! dost thou think,

  If I would stand against thee, would the reposal

  Of any trust, virtue, or worth in thee

  Make thy words faith'd? No: what I should deny,--

  As this I would: ay, though thou didst produce

  My very character,--I'ld turn it all

  To thy suggestion, plot, and damned practise:

  And thou must make a dullard of the world,

  If they not thought the profits of my death

  Were very pregnant and potential spurs

  To make thee seek it.'

  When I tried to dissuade him,

  and found he was determined to do it, I cursed him

  and threatened to unmask him: he answered,

  ‘You landless bastard! Do you think,

  with me on the other side, that anybody would give

  any trust, virtue or value to any words

  you might swear? No: if I denied it–

  as I would, even if you could produce

  irrefutable evidence–I would blame it all

  on your idea, plot and evil execution:

  and the whole world would be very stupid

  if they didn't see that you were the one

  who was motivated by the profits

  which my death would bring you.’

  GLOUCESTER

  Strange and fasten'd villain

  Would he deny his letter? I never got him.

  Tucket within

  Hark, the duke's trumpets! I know not why he comes.

  All ports I'll bar; the villain shall not 'scape;

  The duke must grant me that: besides, his picture

  I will send far and near, that all the kingdom

  May have the due note of him; and of my land,

  Loyal and natural boy, I'll work the means

  To make thee capable.

  Enter CORNWALL, REGAN, and Attendants

  Unnatural and hardened scoundrel,

  would he deny he wrote that letter? He's no child of mine.

  Listen, it's the Duke's trumpets! I don't know why he's here.

  I shall block all the ports; the villain will not escape;

  the Duke must promise me that: also, I will send

  his picture far and wide, so that the whole kingdom
>
  will know what he looks like; and as for my land

  my loyal and natural son, I'll make sure

  that you can inherit it.

  CORNWALL

  How now, my noble friend! since I came hither,

  Which I can call but now, I have heard strange news.

  Hello, my noble friend! Since I arrived,

  just a moment ago, I have heard strange news.

  REGAN

  If it be true, all vengeance comes too short

  Which can pursue the offender. How dost, my lord?

  If it's true, you can't get hold of the offender

  quickly enough. How are you, my lord?

  GLOUCESTER

  O, madam, my old heart is crack'd, it's crack'd!

  O madam, my old heart is broken, it's broken!

  REGAN

  What, did my father's godson seek your life?

  He whom my father named? your Edgar?

  What, did my father's godson try to kill you?

  The one my father named? Your Edgar?

  GLOUCESTER

  O, lady, lady, shame would have it hid!

  O lady, lady, I wish for shame that it was hidden.

  REGAN

  Was he not companion with the riotous knights

  That tend upon my father?

  Didn't he hang around with the rowdy knights

  who served my father?

  GLOUCESTER

  I know not, madam: 'tis too bad, too bad.

  I don't know, madam: it's awful, awful.

  EDMUND

  Yes, madam, he was of that consort.

  Yes madam, he was one of that band.

  REGAN

  No marvel, then, though he were ill affected:

  'Tis they have put him on the old man's death,

  To have the expense and waste of his revenues.

  I have this present evening from my sister

  Been well inform'd of them; and with such cautions,

  That if they come to sojourn at my house,

  I'll not be there.

  It's no wonder then that he has turned bad:

  they will have encouraged him to kill the old man,

  so that they can get their hands on his money.

  My sister has, this very evening,

  told me all about them; because of her warning

  if they come to stay at my house

  I won't be there.

  CORNWALL

  Nor I, assure thee, Regan.

  Edmund, I hear that you have shown your father

  A child-like office.

  Me neither, I promise, Regan.

  Edmund, I hear that you have done your best

  for your father.

  EDMUND

  'Twas my duty, sir.

  It was my duty sir.

  GLOUCESTER

  He did bewray his practise; and received

  This hurt you see, striving to apprehend him.

  He discovered what he was up to, and got

  this wound that you can see, trying to catch him.

  CORNWALL

  Is he pursued?

  Is he being pursued?

  GLOUCESTER

  Ay, my good lord.

  Yes, my good lord.

  CORNWALL

  If he be taken, he shall never more

  Be fear'd of doing harm: make your own purpose,

  How in my strength you please. For you, Edmund,

  Whose virtue and obedience doth this instant

  So much commend itself, you shall be ours:

  Natures of such deep trust we shall much need;

  You we first seize on.

  If he is caught, no one will ever

  have to be afraid of him again: make your plans,

  use my resources as you like. As for you, Edmund,

  whose virtue and obedience at this time

  is so commendable, you shall serve us:

  we have great need of such trustworthy people;

  we choose you first.

  EDMUND

  I shall serve you, sir,

  Truly, however else.

  I shall serve you, sir,

  loyally, whatever happens.

  GLOUCESTER

  For him I thank your grace.

  I thank your Grace on his behalf.

  CORNWALL

  You know not why we came to visit you,--

  You don't know why we came to visit you–

  REGAN

  Thus out of season, threading dark-eyed night:

  Occasions, noble Gloucester, of some poise,

  Wherein we must have use of your advice:

  Our father he hath writ, so hath our sister,

  Of differences, which I least thought it fit

  To answer from our home; the several messengers

  From hence attend dispatch. Our good old friend,

  Lay comforts to your bosom; and bestow

  Your needful counsel to our business,

  Which craves the instant use.

  At the wrong time of year, sneaking through the night:

  there are things happening, noble Gloucester, of some importance,

  which you must advise us about:

  our father has written, so has our sister,

  that they have fallen out, and I thought it best

  not to deal with them at home; I have several messengers

  waiting to be sent out. Our good old friend,

  be of good heart, and give your needed advice to these matters,

  which must be addressed at once.

  GLOUCESTER

  I serve you, madam:

  Your graces are right welcome.

  Exeunt

  I am at your service, madam:

  both of you are very welcome.

  Enter KENT and OSWALD, severally

  OSWALD

  Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?

  Good morning to you, friend: are you part of this household?

  KENT

  Ay.

  Yes.

  OSWALD

  Where may we set our horses?

  Where should we put our horses?

  KENT

  I' the mire.

  In the swamp.

  OSWALD

  Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.

  Please, if you like me, tell me.

  KENT

  I love thee not.

  I don't like you.

  OSWALD

  Why, then, I care not for thee.

  Well then, I don't like you.

  KENT

  If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee

  care for me.

  If I had you under my power, I would make you

  like me.

  OSWALD

  Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.

  Why are you treating me like this? I don't know you.

  KENT

  Fellow, I know thee.

  My man, I know you.

  OSWALD

  What dost thou know me for?

  What do you know of me?

  KENT

  A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a

  base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,

  hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a

  lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,

  glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;

  one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a

  bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but

  the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,

  and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I

  will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest

  the least syllable of thy addition.

  I know that you're a knave, a rascal, a scrounger,

  low, arrogant, shallow, begging, serving,

  bribing, filthy, lowborn knave; a

  lily-livered, lawsuit starting knave, son of a whore,

  vain, officious,
affected rogue;

  a poor slave; one who would be a

  pimp, to do himself good, and you are nothing

  but a combination of knave, beggar, coward, pimp,

  and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I

  will beat until he begs me to stop, if you deny

  anything on this list.

  OSWALD

  Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail

  on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!

  Why, what a terrible man you are, to launch such an attack

  on someone you don't know and who doesn't know you!

  KENT

  What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou

  knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up

  thy heels, and beat thee before the king? Draw, you

  rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon

  shines; I'll make a sop o' the moonshine of you:

  draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw.

  Drawing his sword

  What a cheeky scoundrel you are, to deny that you

  know me! Wasn't it just two days ago that I tripped you up

  and beat you in front of the King? Draw, you

  rogue; although it's night, the moon is out;

  I'll let the moonshine into you:

  draw, you vile vain son of a whore, draw.

  OSWALD

  Away! I have nothing to do with thee.

  Get lost! I've got no quarrel with you.