The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  than the riches of our friends? Oh what a great

  comfort it is to have so many sharing each other's

  fortunes like brothers. It's a joy that appears (because of tears)

  to disappear before it even starts! I don't think I can keep

  from weeping. To cover up my faults, I drink your health.

  APEMANTUS

  Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.

  Your crying makes them drink, Timon.

  Second Lord

  Joy had the like conception in our eyes

  And at that instant like a babe sprung up.

  We have the same joy as you,

  it's mirrored in our eyes.

  APEMANTUS

  Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.

  Ho, Ho! It makes me laugh to think how insincere you are.

  Third Lord

  I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.

  I promise you, my lord, I found that very moving.

  APEMANTUS

  Much!

  Very!

  Tucket, within

  TIMON

  What means that trump?

  Enter a Servant

  How now?

  What does that trumpet mean?

  What's going on?

  Servant

  Please you, my lord, there are certain

  ladies most desirous of admittance.

  If you please, my lord, there are certain

  ladies who are very keen to see you.

  TIMON

  Ladies! what are their wills?

  Ladies! What do they want?

  Servant

  There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which

  bears that office, to signify their pleasures.

  They have a Herald with them, my lord, who

  has that position to tell you what they want.

  TIMON

  I pray, let them be admitted.

  Please, let them in.

  Enter Cupid

  Cupid

  Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all

  That of his bounties taste! The five best senses

  Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely

  To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th' ear,

  Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy table rise;

  They only now come but to feast thine eyes.

  Greetings to you, good Timon, and to everyone

  sharing his generosity! The five great senses

  acknowledge you as their master; they have come

  to praise your generosity: hearing,

  taste, touch and smell, have been satisfied at your table;

  all you need now is a feast for your eyes.

  TIMON

  They're welcome all; let 'em have kind admittance:

  Music, make their welcome!

  They are all welcome; let them come in;

  play the music to welcome them!

  Exit Cupid

  First Lord

  You see, my lord, how ample you're beloved.

  You see, my lord, how much you're loved.

  Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing

  APEMANTUS

  Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!

  They dance! they are mad women.

  Like madness is the glory of this life.

  As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.

  We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;

  And spend our flatteries, to drink those men

  Upon whose age we void it up again,

  With poisonous spite and envy.

  Who lives that's not depraved or depraves?

  Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves

  Of their friends' gift?

  I should fear those that dance before me now

  Would one day stamp upon me: 't has been done;

  Men shut their doors against a setting sun.

  Hello!

  What a parade of frivolity is coming.

  All dancing! They are mad women.

  Vanity is a madness of this life, so is having

  all this food when all you need is a little oil and vegetables.

  We make fools of ourselves to keep ourselves occupied,

  we flatter to win over men

  whom in old age we reject again,

  full of poisonous spite and envy.

  Who is there alive who's not either slandered or a slanderer?

  Who dies who doesn't carry a single insult to their grave

  given to them by a friend?

  I would be afraid that those dancing in front of me now

  would one day stamp on me. It happens.

  Men aren't interested in you when you fall.

  The Lords rise from table, with much adoring of TIMON; and to show their loves, each singles out an Amazon, and all dance, men with women, a lofty strain or two to the hautboys, and cease

  TIMON

  You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,

  Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,

  Which was not half so beautiful and kind;

  You have added worth unto 't and lustre,

  And entertain'd me with mine own device;

  I am to thank you for 't.

  You've lent much grace to our enjoyment, fair ladies,

  given our entertainment such an attractive appearance,

  it wasn't half so beautiful and gracious before;

  you have added goodness and glamour,

  and use my own entertainment to entertain me;

  I want to thank you for it.

  First Lady

  My lord, you take us even at the best.

  My lord, you give us our best praise.

  APEMANTUS

  'Faith, for the worst is filthy; and would not hold

  taking, I doubt me.

  I swear, you wouldn't want to be given the worst,

  it's filthy.

  TIMON

  Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you:

  Please you to dispose yourselves.

  Ladies, there's a little banquet waiting for you:

  please help yourselves.

  All Ladies

  Most thankfully, my lord.

  Very gratefully, my lord.

  Exeunt Cupid and Ladies

  TIMON

  Flavius.

  Flavius.

  FLAVIUS

  My lord?

  My lord?

  TIMON

  The little casket bring me hither.

  Bring the little casket here to me.

  FLAVIUS

  Yes, my lord. [Aside] More jewels yet!

  There is no crossing him in 's humour;

  Else I should tell him well, i' faith I should,

  When all's spent, he 'ld be cross'd then, an he could.

  'Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,

  That man might ne'er be wretched for his mind.

  Exit

  Yes, my lord. [aside] Still more jewels!

  There's no stopping his madness;

  otherwise I would tell him firmly, I really would,

  that when it's all gone he'll be in debt.

  Generosity should have eyes in the back of his head,

  so a man could never be ruined by being kind.

  First Lord

  Where be our men?

  Where are our men?

  Servant

  Here, my lord, in readiness.

  Here, my lord, all ready.

  Second Lord

  Our horses!

  Our horses!

  Re-enter FLAVIUS, with the casket

  TIMON

  O my friends,

  I have one word to say to you: look you, my good lord,

  I must entreat you, honour me so much

  As to advance this jewel; accept it and wear it,

  Kind my lord.

  O my friends,

  I just want a wo
rd with you: see here, my good lord,

  I must beg you, do me the honour

  of polishing this jewel by accepting it and wearing it,

  my kind lord.

  First Lord

  I am so far already in your gifts,--

  I'm already so indebted to you–

  All

  So are we all.

  So are all of us.

  Enter a Servant

  Servant

  My lord, there are certain nobles of the senate

  Newly alighted, and come to visit you.

  My lord, there are certain noblemen from the Senate

  who have just landed and have come to visit you.

  TIMON

  They are fairly welcome.

  They are most welcome.

  FLAVIUS

  I beseech your honour,

  Vouchsafe me a word; it does concern you near.

  I beg your honour,

  let me have a word; it concerns you intimately.

  TIMON

  Near! why then, another time I'll hear thee:

  I prithee, let's be provided to show them

  entertainment.

  Concerns me! Well then, it can wait to another time:

  please, let's get on and give them a good

  welcome.

  FLAVIUS

  [Aside] I scarce know how.

  I don't know what to do.

  Enter a Second Servant

  Second Servant

  May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,

  Out of his free love, hath presented to you

  Four milk-white horses, trapp'd in silver.

  If you please, your honour, Lord Lucius,

  from his love for you, has presented you with

  four milk white horses, with silver harnesses.

  TIMON

  I shall accept them fairly; let the presents

  Be worthily entertain'd.

  Enter a third Servant

  How now! what news?

  I shall accept them politely; let the presents

  be given the attention they deserve.

  Third Servant

  Please you, my lord, that honourable

  gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company

  to-morrow to hunt with him, and has sent your honour

  two brace of greyhounds.

  If you please, my lord, that honourable

  gentlemen, Lord Lucullus, asks you to go hunting

  with him tomorrow, and he has sent your honour

  two pairs of greyhounds.

  TIMON

  I'll hunt with him; and let them be received,

  Not without fair reward.

  I'll hunt with him; and welcome the dogs,

  which will be paid for.

  FLAVIUS

  [Aside] What will this come to?

  He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,

  And all out of an empty coffer:

  Nor will he know his purse, or yield me this,

  To show him what a beggar his heart is,

  Being of no power to make his wishes good:

  His promises fly so beyond his state

  That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes

  For every word: he is so kind that he now

  Pays interest for 't; his land's put to their books.

  Well, would I were gently put out of office

  Before I were forced out!

  Happier is he that has no friend to feed

  Than such that do e'en enemies exceed.

  I bleed inwardly for my lord.

  Exit

  What will this come to?

  He tells us to lay on entertainment, and gives great gifts,

  and all the time there is no money in the bank:

  he doesn't want to know his balance, and won't allow me

  to show him that his heart has become a beggar,

  which has no power to make up the shortfall:

  what he promises is so far beyond what he has

  that everything he says puts him in debt; he owes

  for every word: he is so kind that he is now

  paying interest for it; his land is all mortgaged.

  Well, I would rather quietly leave the job before being forced out!

  You're better off having no friends to feed

  than having ones that make more demands on you then enemies do.

  I suffer in silence for my lord.

  TIMON

  You do yourselves

  Much wrong, you bate too much of your own merits:

  Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.

  You do yourselves

  an injustice, you put your own merits down too much:

  here, my lord, a little sign of our friendship.

  Second Lord

  With more than common thanks I will receive it.

  I will take it with great thanks.

  Third Lord

  O, he's the very soul of bounty!

  Oh, he's the very soul of generosity!

  TIMON

  And now I remember, my lord, you gave

  Good words the other day of a bay courser

  I rode on: it is yours, because you liked it.

  And now I remember, my lord, you said

  kind words the other day about a bay hunter

  I was riding: it's yours, because you liked it.

  Second Lord

  O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.

  Oh, I beg you, you mustn't give me that, my lord.

  TIMON

  You may take my word, my lord; I know, no man

  Can justly praise but what he does affect:

  I weigh my friend's affection with mine own;

  I'll tell you true. I'll call to you.

  You can take me at my word, my lord, I know

  men only truly praise what they desire:

  my friends’ desires are just as important as my own,

  I assure you. I'll call on you.

  All Lords

  O, none so welcome.

  Oh, nobody would be more welcome.

  TIMON

  I take all and your several visitations

  So kind to heart, 'tis not enough to give;

  Methinks, I could deal kingdoms to my friends,

  And ne'er be weary. Alcibiades,

  Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich;

  It comes in charity to thee: for all thy living

  Is 'mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast

  Lie in a pitch'd field.

  I take so much pleasure from all your

  visits, I don't have enough to give;

  I think I could give out kingdoms to my friends,

  and never get tired of it. Alcibiades,

  you are a soldier, and so rarely rich;

  whatever you receive is true charity: because all your

  work is among the dead, and all your estates

  lie on the battlefield.

  ALCIBIADES

  Ay, defiled land, my lord.

  Yes, defiled land, my lord.

  First Lord

  We are so virtuously bound--

  We are so wonderfully obliged–

  TIMON

  And so

  Am I to you.

  And so am I to you.

  Second Lord

  So infinitely endear'd--

  So hugely indebted–

  TIMON

  All to you. Lights, more lights!

  That's all on my side. Lights, more lights!

  First Lord

  The best of happiness,

  Honour and fortunes, keep with you, Lord Timon!

  Made the greatest happiness,

  honour and fortune, remain with you, Lord Timon!

  TIMON

  Ready for his friends.

  So I can serve my friends.

  Exeunt all but APEMANTUS and TIMON

  APEMANTUS

  What a coil's here!

  Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums
!

  I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums

  That are given for 'em. Friendship's full of dregs:

  Methinks, false hearts should never have sound legs,

  Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court'sies.

  What a farce this is!

  All this bowing and scraping!

  I doubt their bows are worth the amount

  you paid for them. Friendship is full of scum:

  I think false hearts should never have good legs,

  it makes honest fools give money to anyone who bows to them.

  TIMON

  Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen, I would be

  good to thee.

  Now, Apemantus, if you weren't so sullen, I would be

  generous to you.

  APEMANTUS

  No, I'll nothing: for if I should be bribed too,

  there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then

  thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou givest so long,

  Timon, I fear me thou wilt give away thyself in

  paper shortly: what need these feasts, pomps and

  vain-glories?

  No, I'll take nothing: if I should be bribed too,

  there would be nobody left to criticise you, and then