The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  Exit Boy

  I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.

  Good boy, tell him I'm coming.

  I fear he may be wounded. Farewell, good niece.

  CRESSIDA.

  Adieu, uncle.

  Goodbye, uncle.

  PANDARUS.

  I will be with you, niece, by and by.

  I'll be with you, niece, in a while.

  CRESSIDA.

  To bring, uncle?

  Bringing what, uncle?

  PANDARUS.

  Ay, a token from Troilus.

  Well, a token from Troilus.

  CRESSIDA.

  By the same token, you are a bawd.

  Exit PANDARUS

  Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice,

  He offers in another's enterprise;

  But more in Troilus thousand-fold I see

  Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be,

  Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:

  Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.

  That she belov'd knows nought that knows not this:

  Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is.

  That she was never yet that ever knew

  Love got so sweet as when desire did sue;

  Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:

  Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech.

  Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,

  Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.

  Exit

  By the same token, you are a pimp.

  In managing someone else's affairs he offers

  words, promises, gifts, tears and everything a lover can offer;

  but I think a thousand times more of Troilus

  Than the praises of Pandarus,

  but I hold back. They think women are angels, when they are wooing them;

  once they get them that's it; they lose interest after that.

  If a woman who is loved doesn't know this then she knows nothing:

  men prefer the things they can't get above those they can.

  No woman ever got such sweet love from a man who got his desire

  as she did when he was begging her to grant those desires.

  So, I take this lesson from the book of love:

  ‘when a woman gives in she's under your thumb; if she doesn't you still have to beg.’

  So, although my heart is full of love,

  he won't see any of it in my eyes.

  Sennet. Enter AGAMEMNON, NESTOR, ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, MENELAUS, and others

  AGAMEMNON.

  Princes,

  What grief hath set these jaundies o'er your cheeks?

  The ample proposition that hope makes

  In all designs begun on earth below

  Fails in the promis'd largeness; checks and disasters

  Grow in the veins of actions highest rear'd,

  As knots, by the conflux of meeting sap,

  Infects the sound pine, and diverts his grain

  Tortive and errant from his course of growth.

  Nor, princes, is it matter new to us

  That we come short of our suppose so far

  That after seven years' siege yet Troy walls stand;

  Sith every action that hath gone before,

  Whereof we have record, trial did draw

  Bias and thwart, not answering the aim,

  And that unbodied figure of the thought

  That gave't surmised shape. Why then, you princes,

  Do you with cheeks abash'd behold our works

  And call them shames, which are, indeed, nought else

  But the protractive trials of great Jove

  To find persistive constancy in men;

  The fineness of which metal is not found

  In fortune's love? For then the bold and coward,

  The wise and fool, the artist and unread,

  The hard and soft, seem all affin'd and kin.

  But in the wind and tempest of her frown

  Distinction, with a broad and powerful fan,

  Puffing at all, winnows the light away;

  And what hath mass or matter by itself

  Lies rich in virtue and unmingled.

  Princes,

  what problem has made your faces so long?

  The great promise that hope offers

  when we begin our plans on earth

  has failed to deliver; stalemates and disasters

  are blocking our best laid plans,

  just as knots, getting in the way of the streams of sap,

  infect the healthy pine, making it grow

  twisted and away from its natural course.

  And, Princes, we all know

  that we have fallen so far short of our expectations

  that after seven years of siege the walls of Troy still stand;

  everything we have tried so far

  of which we have a record has been shown

  to have gone awry, not fulfilled its purpose,

  not following the shape of our ideas at all. So why do you Princes

  look at what we've done shamefacedly

  and call them failures, when actually all they are

  are just the long drawn out trials imposed by great Jove

  to test the persistence of men?

  That's something which can't be found

  when dealing with luck; then the brave and the cowardly,

  the wise man and the fool, the intellectual and the ignorant,

  the hard and soft, all seem the same.

  But when distinction frowns and blows upon us

  with her great powerful fan she blows on all

  and blows the worthless things away,

  and things which have a value of their own

  remain, excellent and unadulterated.

  NESTOR.

  With due observance of thy godlike seat,

  Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply

  Thy latest words. In the reproof of chance

  Lies the true proof of men. The sea being smooth,

  How many shallow bauble boats dare sail

  Upon her patient breast, making their way

  With those of nobler bulk!

  But let the ruffian Boreas once enrage

  The gentle Thetis, and anon behold

  The strong-ribb'd bark through liquid mountains cut,

  Bounding between the two moist elements

  Like Perseus' horse. Where's then the saucy boat,

  Whose weak untimber'd sides but even now

  Co-rivall'd greatness? Either to harbour fled

  Or made a toast for Neptune. Even so

  Doth valour's show and valour's worth divide

  In storms of fortune; for in her ray and brightness

  The herd hath more annoyance by the breeze

  Than by the tiger; but when the splitting wind

  Makes flexible the knees of knotted oaks,

  And flies fled under shade-why, then the thing of courage

  As rous'd with rage, with rage doth sympathise,

  And with an accent tun'd in self-same key

  Retorts to chiding fortune.

  With due respect to your divine position,

  great Agamemnon, Nestor will give proof

  of what you've just said. Suffering the vagaries of fate

  shows the true worth of men. When the sea is calm,

  how many little toy boats dare to sail

  on her smooth waters, going alongside

  the great ships!

  But once the rough north wind stirs up

  the gentle sea, you'll soon see

  the well built boat cutting through liquid mountains,

  leaping between the sea and the sky

  like Perseus' horse. Then where is the cheeky boat,

  whose weak poorly built sides a moment ago

  were matching themselves with the great ones? Either run for the harbour

  or sunk down to the depths. This is ho
w

  demonstrations of bravery and real bravery

  are divided in the storms of fate; when she's shining on people

  the herd is more annoyed by the breeze

  than by danger; but when the destructive wind

  makes the great oaks bend the knee,

  and the flies flee for shelter–well, then the courageous man

  become stirred up by the storm, he responds to it,

  and answers fate in the same way.

  ULYSSES.

  Agamemnon,

  Thou great commander, nerve and bone of Greece,

  Heart of our numbers, soul and only spirit

  In whom the tempers and the minds of all

  Should be shut up-hear what Ulysses speaks.

  Besides the applause and approbation

  The which, [To AGAMEMNON] most mighty, for thy place and sway,

  [To NESTOR] And, thou most reverend, for thy stretch'd-out life,

  I give to both your speeches- which were such

  As, Agamemnon every hand of Greece

  Should hold up high in brass; and such again

  As venerable Nestor, hatch'd in silver,

  Should with a bond of air, strong as the axle-tree

  On which heaven rides, knit all the Greekish ears

  To his experienc'd tongue-yet let it please both,

  Thou great, and wise, to hear Ulysses speak.

  Agamemnon,

  you great commander, the muscles and bones of Greece,

  the heart, soul and guiding spirit of our army,

  in which all of our minds should be content

  to be absorbed–hear what Ulysses has to say.

  Apart from the praise and agreement

  which I give to you [to Agamemnon] great one, for your position and power,

  [to Nestor] and to you, most respected one, for your long life,

  for both of your speeches–which were so good

  that, Agamemnon, they should be shown to everyone as

  models of eloquence, inscribed on brass;

  and venerable Nestor, with his silver hair,

  has taken the air and turned it into something as strong as

  the axle on which the whole universe turns,

  convincing all the Greeks with his knowledgeable words–

  but if you'll allow me, you great one, and you wise one,

  Ulysses would like to speak.

  AGAMEMNON.

  Speak, Prince of Ithaca; and be't of less expect

  That matter needless, of importless burden,

  Divide thy lips than we are confident,

  When rank Thersites opes his mastic jaws,

  We shall hear music, wit, and oracle.

  Speak, Prince of Ithaca; it's less likely

  that you would impose on us with unimportant matters

  than that we would hear sweet eloquence

  when the foulmouthed Thersites opens his mouth.

  ULYSSES.

  Troy, yet upon his basis, had been down,

  And the great Hector's sword had lack'd a master,

  But for these instances:

  The specialty of rule hath been neglected;

  And look how many Grecian tents do stand

  Hollow upon this plain, so many hollow factions.

  When that the general is not like the hive,

  To whom the foragers shall all repair,

  What honey is expected? Degree being vizarded,

  Th' unworthiest shows as fairly in the mask.

  The heavens themselves, the planets, and this centre,

  Observe degree, priority, and place,

  Insisture, course, proportion, season, form,

  Office, and custom, in all line of order;

  And therefore is the glorious planet Sol

  In noble eminence enthron'd and spher'd

  Amidst the other, whose med'cinable eye

  Corrects the ill aspects of planets evil,

  And posts, like the commandment of a king,

  Sans check, to good and bad. But when the planets

  In evil mixture to disorder wander,

  What plagues and what portents, what mutiny,

  What raging of the sea, shaking of earth,

  Commotion in the winds! Frights, changes, horrors,

  Divert and crack, rend and deracinate,

  The unity and married calm of states

  Quite from their fixture! O, when degree is shak'd,

  Which is the ladder of all high designs,

  The enterprise is sick! How could communities,

  Degrees in schools, and brotherhoods in cities,

  Peaceful commerce from dividable shores,

  The primogenity and due of birth,

  Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels,

  But by degree, stand in authentic place?

  Take but degree away, untune that string,

  And hark what discord follows! Each thing melts

  In mere oppugnancy: the bounded waters

  Should lift their bosoms higher than the shores,

  And make a sop of all this solid globe;

  Strength should be lord of imbecility,

  And the rude son should strike his father dead;

  Force should be right; or, rather, right and wrong-

  Between whose endless jar justice resides-

  Should lose their names, and so should justice too.

  Then everything includes itself in power,

  Power into will, will into appetite;

  And appetite, an universal wolf,

  So doubly seconded with will and power,

  Must make perforce an universal prey,

  And last eat up himself. Great Agamemnon,

  This chaos, when degree is suffocate,

  Follows the choking.

  And this neglection of degree it is

  That by a pace goes backward, with a purpose

  It hath to climb. The general's disdain'd

  By him one step below, he by the next,

  That next by him beneath; so ever step,

  Exampl'd by the first pace that is sick

  Of his superior, grows to an envious fever

  Of pale and bloodless emulation.

  And 'tis this fever that keeps Troy on foot,

  Not her own sinews. To end a tale of length,

  Troy in our weakness stands, not in her strength.

  Troy, which is still standing on its foundations, would have been defeated,

  and great Hector would be dead, except for these reasons:

  the principles of good government have been forgotten;

  look how many Greek tents stand

  empty on this plain, each one represents a false faction.

  When the leader is not like the hive

  to which all the worker bees will return,

  what honey can result? When everyone wears a mask

  the lowest looks as good as the highest.

  The heavens themselves, the planets and this earth,

  follow rank, priority and position,

  regularity, direction, proportion, season, form,

  office and tradition, all according to their rank.

  And so the glorious planet of the sun is

  placed on a throne on its noble heights and crowned

  amongst the others, its healing eye

  keeps all the planets in alignment

  and speeds, like the orders of the King,

  without pause, to good and bad. But when the planets

  wander into an evil conjunction,

  what plagues and evil signs, what mutiny,

  what raging of the sea, shaking of the earth,

  storms in the winds, terrors, changes, horrors,

  divide, lead astray, tear up

  the peace and unity of countries

  absolutely from their roots! When rank is forgotten,

  which is the path which leads to all noble things,

  the business will go badly. How could communit
ies,

  ranks in universities and guilds in cities,

  peaceful business between distant countries,

  the rights of inheritance,

  respect for age, crowns, sceptres, laurel wreaths,

  survive without rank?

  Take rank away,untune the string,

  and listen to the cacophony which follows. Everything becomes

  complete conflict. The waters of the sea

  would rise up higher than the shore

  and drown the whole world;

  the stupid could rule through strength alone,

  and a violent son would strike his father dead;

  force would be right; actually, right and wrong,

  which justice weighs in the balance,

  would be forgotten, and so would justice itself.

  Thenpower would become everything,

  power would rule over sense, sense would become self-indulgent;

  there would be no end to debauchery and greed,

  and in the end the power would consume itself. Great Agamemnon,

  this chaos is what happens

  when rank is forgotten.

  Forgetting about rank means

  that when we try to move forward all we do

  is go backwards. The general is held in contempt

  by the one a place below him, he by the next, the next

  by the one beneath him; so each one

  copies the evils of the one above him,

  everyone begins to develop

  a grudge against his superior.

  This is what has saved Troy,

  not her own forces. To cut a long story short,

  Troy has survived due to our weakness, not her strength

  NESTOR.

  Most wisely hath Ulysses here discover'd

  The fever whereof all our power is sick.

  Ulysses has very wisely described

  the problem afflicting our army.

  AGAMEMNON.

  The nature of the sickness found, Ulysses,

  What is the remedy?

  Now you've shown us the problem, Ulysses,

  what's the solution?

  ULYSSES.

  The great Achilles, whom opinion crowns

  The sinew and the forehand of our host,

  Having his ear full of his airy fame,

  Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent

  Lies mocking our designs; with him Patroclus

  Upon a lazy bed the livelong day

  Breaks scurril jests;

  And with ridiculous and awkward action-

  Which, slanderer, he imitation calls-