Only Today

by Jeri Odell

  His words left her cold inside. What had she agreed to? Trying to replace her brother?

  “Your father and I were so pleased you’d come to your senses and accepted Javier’s proposal of marriage. And doubly pleased that you’d decided to join us as a missionary to the people we’ve all grown to love so deeply.”

  The words left Kendall feeling unsettled. Had she tried to lessen her parents’ loss by becoming a substitute for her brother? By choosing the life they apparently wanted for her?

  Brady and Delanie strolled into the coffee shop. Delanie unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and glanced around the tables. When her gaze fell on them, shock registered in her eyes. She said something to Brady, and he turned to stare. Kendall fought an overwhelming urge to run to him and the shelter of his arms. They both strolled to the table.

  “Mom, I thought that was your car. Hi, Kendall.” Delanie’s smile included everyone at the table.

  “Delanie, Brady. What are you two doing here?” Mrs. Cooper jumped up and hugged her children. She hadn’t seen them come into the shop because her back was toward the door.

  “We stopped in for Delanie’s morning tea.” Brady’s eyes fixed on Kendall’s. “I didn’t sleep well and need some caffeine myself.”

  “First, let me introduce you.”

  ❧

  Brady shook hands with Mr. and Mrs. Brooks and then Javier, his nemesis. Then he said hello to Kendall.

  “Good morning, Brady, Delanie.” Kendall’s smile was stiff and forced.

  Brady wondered if the awkwardness between him and Kendall was as obvious to everyone else as it was to him.

  Both of her parents nodded but said nothing.

  “So you are a paramedic?” Javier spoke in broken English, thick with an accent. “And what do you do, Delanie?”

  “I’m a police officer.” Delanie smiled, but Brady sensed her discomfort, as well. She turned her attention to Kendall. “Did seeing your family trigger any memories?”

  “Not really.” Kendall’s eyes held disappointment.

  “I’m sure when we get her back home, things will fall into place.”

  Kendall seemed surprised by her dad’s assumption that she’d be returning to Mexico, but she didn’t argue the point. Her gaze sought out Brady’s, and he glimpsed all the uncertainty she wrestled with. He gave her a reassuring smile, and her eyes said she was sorry about yesterday.

  Mr. Brooks rose. “Brady, do you mind if we take a little walk outside?”

  Tension filled the small group. All eyes were on Brady.

  “No, sir, I don’t mind at all. As a matter of fact, I’d love a word with you, as well.”

  Brady followed Mr. Brooks out the door and onto the wooden porch. The large man shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few steps away from the windows of the coffeehouse.

  “I can’t tell you how much Kendall’s mama and I appreciate you saving our girl’s life.”

  The conversation went a different direction than Brady had anticipated.

  “I was just doing my job, sir. Any medic would have done the same.” Brady shrugged off his appreciation.

  Mr. Brooks turned and started walking. Brady followed, his gaze resting on the barren, snowcapped hills in the distance.

  “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, son. We deeply appreciate all you and your family have done for our girl while we were unaware and unavailable.”

  Brady sensed a “but” coming. “It was our pleasure. That’s what the body of Christ is all about—each of us stepping in to minister to another in need.”

  “So your family is Christian?”

  Brady nodded.

  “Thanks for being God’s hands. Now that we’re here, you all can go back to your own lives and not give Kendall another thought. We can pick up where you left off.”

  Brady stopped, and Mr. Brooks followed suit. “The thing is, we’ve grown to care about Kendall. My entire family is invested in her emotionally and spiritually. And we’ll still be in Reno long after you leave.” Brady decided to ignore Mr. Brooks’s earlier pronouncement that Kendall would be leaving the country with them.

  “We’ll be taking Kendall home with us in the next few days. As soon as we can get medical clearance.”

  The words brought a sense of loss for Brady. He moved a pebble around with the toe of his tennis shoe and wondered if Mr. Brooks was making all the decisions for Kendall instead of letting her choose for herself. That was sure how it seemed to Brady.

  He made eye contact. “Well then, for the next few days, we’d all like to spend as much time with Kendall as we can squeeze in.” Brady knew that under the guise of civil conversation, two bucks challenged each other for access to the fair doe.

  “I think it might be best for Kendall if you all said your good-byes today. She needs to put her time and energy into getting better and remembering her old life.” Mr. Brooks tightened his mouth into an unrelenting line. “She needs time with her fiancé and has no business spending it with another man.”

  “Sir, I would completely agree with you under different circumstances. But here’s the thing: Kendall doesn’t remember Javier. My family and I are familiar; you people are not.” Brady knew the minute the words were out, he’d said too much.

  “You people?” Mr. Brooks’s face had darkened to a shade of red. “We are her mother, father, and future husband. We are not you people.”

  “I’m sorry, sir. I meant no disrespect, but she doesn’t know you or remember you. You have to put her needs and her comfort before your own desires.”

  “What are you implying? That I don’t care about Kendall’s best and only want my own way?”

  “That’s how it seems to me.” Brady ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I know she’s your daughter, but she’s twenty-six years old. Why don’t you ask her what she wants?”

  “She can’t know what’s best if she can’t remember.”

  “If you want me to stay away from Kendall, I’ll have to hear the request from her lips.” She’d told him yesterday to go away, but today he’d seen an apology in her eyes. She’d have to tell him again.

  “Let’s go ask her what she wants.”

  Brady turned back toward the coffee shop.

  Mr. Brooks grabbed Brady’s arm. “Why don’t we just cut to the chase? I saw the way you looked at her. You have designs on my daughter, but she’s engaged to another man.”

  Brady faced Mr. Brooks, eye-to-eye, toe-to-toe. “I am in love with her. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Brady’s voice raised. “And she’s in love with me, too. Neither of us knew about Javier until last week. We didn’t intentionally disregard her commitment to someone else, but now the feelings are there.”

  Brady turned to discover that the whole group had heard his loud announcement and all stood gawking at him.

  Everyone except Kendall. Her head hung low, eyes focused on the ground, and her hair hid the embarrassment he assumed she was feeling.

  Twelve

  The ride back to the rehab center was quiet, awkward. Shame draped itself like a mantle on Kendall’s shoulders. She wasn’t prepared for her parents or Javier to hear Brady declare their love loudly enough for the entire world to know.

  A few snippets of her memory returned this morning in tiny flashes of segments in time. More than the actual events, she experienced the emotions those situations evoked.

  Kendall sensed, more than knowing for certain, that she’d spent her whole life disappointing her parents. A lingering feeling told her she’d never quite lived up to her brother’s level of commitment, never quite hit her parents’ expectations. Brady’s declaration only added to their displeasure. She’d heard it in her mom’s gasp, seen it in her dad’s gaze before she looked away.

  “Well, we’re back.” Mrs. Cooper tried to sound as if all was well as she parked in front of the rehab center. She got out, retrieved Kendall’s walker, and brought it around to her. In the meantime, the backseat had emptied out and everyone was
waiting on her.

  Mrs. Cooper helped Kendall climb out of the low car and steadied her before letting her stand on her own. Kendall depended on the walker for balance and stability.

  Her father stepped forward, right hand extended. “Mrs. Cooper, I cannot tell you how good it was to meet you.” They shook hands. “Thanks ever so much for picking us up this morning before the crack of dawn.” He chuckled, but no one else joined in. “The wife and I”—he glanced at Kendall’s mother—“are so grateful for you and your family’s intervention for our little girl.”

  He glanced at Kendall’s mother, and she stepped forward, hugging Mrs. Cooper. “Are we ever! It does a mother’s heart good to know another mother cared for her young when she couldn’t.”

  Mrs. Cooper hugged her back and smiled. “It was our pleasure.” She wrapped an arm around Kendall’s waist. “Kendall is precious to me.”

  Kendall leaned into Mrs. Cooper’s side, afraid if she took a hand off her walker to hug her back she might topple over.

  “Guess we’d better get this one back inside.” Her father pointed at her. “As I told your son, we can take it from here. We don’t want to impose on your family’s time any more than we already have.”

  Mrs. Cooper squeezed Kendall tight and then released her. A lump formed in Kendall’s throat. She wasn’t ready to say good-bye or have Mrs. Cooper exit her life.

  “I assure you, Kendall’s never been an imposition—not for one minute.” Mrs. Cooper turned her gaze on Kendall, giving her a reassuring smile. Then she looked back at Kendall’s father. “May I help her to her room and tell her good-bye in private?”

  The expression on her father’s face made his feelings known, but he nodded his approval. “We’ll wait in the visitors’ lounge.”

  Mrs. Cooper and Kendall shuffled down the hall at the pace of a snail. Mrs. Cooper kept a reassuring hand on the small of Kendall’s back. Kendall fought the urge to cry, but by the time they reached her room, a couple of tears had slithered down her face.

  Kendall used her walker to back herself against the edge of her bed so Mrs. Cooper could use the chair, but instead she stood next to Kendall, placing her hand on Kendall’s arm.

  “Honey, are you okay?”

  Through watery eyes, Kendall saw concern on Mrs. Cooper’s face. Kendall shook her head, and a few more unwanted tears spilled onto her checks.

  Mrs. Cooper slid the walker aside and wrapped Kendall in her arms. That was all it took for what little self-control Kendall had to break and a flood of tears to follow. Mrs. Cooper said nothing. She held her and let her cry.

  After a few minutes, Kendall raised her head. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t intend to fall apart.”

  “You have every right to fall apart. Things have happened pretty quickly the past couple of days.” Mrs. Cooper released Kendall.

  “I’m not ready to say good-bye to you.” Kendall tried to swallow away the remaining lump.

  “Nor am I, but it sounds like your family will be taking you back to Mexico in a few days.” Her astute gaze watched for Kendall’s reaction.

  “Do I have to go?” Leaving didn’t appeal to Kendall, not one bit.

  Mrs. Cooper seemed to choose her words with care. “Don’t you want to go?”

  “The thought of leaving everything familiar to travel to another country with strangers is frightening. Am I wrong to feel that way?”

  “Of course not. It’s understandable.”

  “Can they force me to go?” Kendall asked, barely above a whisper. Guilt coursed through her for even wondering.

  Mrs. Cooper stepped away, weighing the question for a moment. “No. But maybe in a few days you’ll feel differently. They are your family, and they obviously love you.”

  “But I don’t love them. I don’t even know them.” There. She’d said it out loud.

  Mrs. Cooper took Kendall’s hand. “Don’t make a decision today. Try to keep an open mind.” Mrs. Cooper seldom looked worried, but she did at this moment.

  Kendall nodded. “Will you please come back? Don’t let this be our last visit.”

  “If that’s what you want, but I’m afraid your parents may not be happy if I do.”

  “I don’t care. You are the closest thing to a mom that I have. I need you right now.”

  Mrs. Cooper gave her a quick hug. “I love you, Kendall, and I will be here as long as you want me to be. Now I’d better run so your parents can visit with you. I’ll be back this afternoon.”

  Her promise made Kendall feel better. “Thank you.”

  Within a minute or two, Javier entered her room alone. She moved from the edge of the bed to her sole chair. Javier squatted next to her, taking her hand in his. She longed to pull it away but didn’t.

  “I forgive, shall we say, your indiscretion.”

  “My indiscretion?” Kendall was incensed and pulled her hand from his, tucking it safely in her lap. “What, may I ask, is that supposed to mean?”

  “You gave your heart to another, but I forgive you.”

  His attitude—as though he was doing her a big favor—only served to rankle her further.

  “All is well, ti gunaa stinnne`. We shall marry upon our return to Mexico. Within the week, you shall truly be my one woman until death parts us.”

  Kendall swallowed back the distaste of uniting herself with Javier. Her first impulse was to shout, “Never!” but she controlled it. She placed her hands on her head, wanting this whole day to be a bad dream. Meeting her family hadn’t solved her problems as she’d hoped, but only created new ones.

  “Javier, I can’t marry you, not this week, maybe not ever.”

  He rose, looking down at her. “I have waited a long time for you. First you must finish college; then you must take an internship. Now you must get another degree. I tire of waiting.”

  He knelt before her, taking her hands in his, much the way Brady did, only her heart’s response was very different. “You’ve given your word, and I have honored mine. The time has come to forget your foolish dreams of more schooling. It is time to get married and start our family.”

  He moved toward her to claim her lips. She fought the urge to cringe. When their lips met, hers remained closed tight and unresponsive.

  Javier pulled back slowly. His eyes reflected disappointment. “You will forget him in time. Your heart will grow to love me once again.”

  She wasn’t sure her heart had ever loved him. Doubt lingered. “It’s too soon, Javier. I can’t make any promises.” She shook her head. Suddenly exhausted, Kendall said, “You must go. I have to rest for one hour. You may tell my parents to come then.”

  He nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. She used her walker to get to her bed and lay across it. Closing her eyes, she rubbed the spot on her forehead between her brows. Kendall wished for sleep, but too many thoughts marched through her head for it to come.

  Much too soon, a knock at Kendall’s door brought with it the realization that her hour of peace and quiet was over.

  When she opened her eyes, her parents hovered in the doorway.

  “Do you feel better, dear?” Her mother stepped farther into the room.

  Kendall wished they hadn’t come. She didn’t have the energy to deal with them but couldn’t very well leave them sitting in the visitors’ alcove all day. After all, they’d come a very long way to see her.

  “May we come in?” Her dad still stood in the threshold of the doorway.

  Kendall nodded. She lay on top of her covers with a light blanket thrown over her.

  “We met with your therapist, Tom. He’s going to check into what sort of rehab opportunities are available in Oaxaca. He doesn’t see a problem with us packing you up in the next couple of days.”

  Kendall sat up, leaning against her headboard. She pursed her lips, unsure how to navigate what lay ahead. She glanced from her father’s unrelenting jaw to her mother’s sad eyes.

  “I don’t think I’m ready to go with you.”

&nbs
p; “Sure you are.” Her mother patted Kendall’s hand. “We’ll take good care of you, show you lots of pictures, tell all your growing-up stories.”

  “I’d like to come home for a visit after I finish therapy, but not yet.” Kendall tried to reason with them. “I like my therapists and trust them. Tom says trust is an important component to success in rehabilitation. Plus we’re in the middle of the plan. A move could cause me a major setback physically.”

  Her father’s jaw tensed.

  “Now, dear, I’m sure you can learn to trust a therapist in Oaxaca, too. And Tom can fill them in on the plan.”

  Kendall decided to try a different approach. “Javier said something about the trip back from Oaxaca. So you don’t actually live in the city?”

  “No, but you’d be much closer to home than you are here,” her father finally said.

  “We’d come see you every chance we get,” her mother assured her.

  Kendall sucked in a deep breath and decided to speak her mind. “You want me to leave friends I feel close to, therapists I trust, and a place I feel safe for the complete unknown?”

  “Oaxaca isn’t unknown to you. You grew up near there and know the city like the back of your hand.” Irritation wove itself through her dad’s words.

  “I don’t remember Oaxaca. I don’t remember either of you or Javier. Don’t you understand that my whole life—everything known or familiar—is here in Reno?” Kendall hated the emotion in her voice, afraid her dad would view it as weakness.

  “Kendall, you are our daughter, our responsibility. How can you expect us to pack up and leave you here without family or anyone who truly knows you close by?”

  “The Coopers know me.”

  Her mom threw her hands in the air. “They cannot possibly know you. You don’t even know yourself.”

  “You’re right.” Kendall swallowed hard. “I don’t, but until I do, I’m not falling into my old life. I’m twenty-six years old, and it’s my life, not yours.”

  “You are acting just like you did in college—always the rebellious one.”