Avren: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

I looked at him. This was too cruel. How would I get through this?

  "Nothing," I said. "I wasn't saying anything. Would you like to move on now?"

  "Sure," he said. "I'm not getting anything here."

  We wandered through the caves further than I had gone before and I remembered what else had happened in here. He had made love to me and it was the first time I ever had two orgasms in a row.

  "We should turn around," I said. "We're getting into the part of the caves that I don't know very well."

  "Sure. When you came here with me before, you didn't explore?"

  "No," I said. "We were busy."

  "Ah," he said and didn't ask anymore.

  We returned to the spot where we had made love in the big cavern and I realized I was extremely thirsty. The caves were so hot and humid. And I hadn't thought to bring a water bottle. We had been out all afternoon.

  "Wait, Dar," I said, putting my hand on his arm. It had been an unconscious thing, to stop him. But electricity flowed between us — as hot and passionate as when he had remembered me. He stared at me, his breathing fast and irregular.

  I pulled my hand away as if he was burning me. Maybe he was. "Sorry. I just need a drink. There's a little spring here with clean water."

  "Oh, okay," he said, stepping away from me. "I'll keep going. I think I know that way."

  I turned away from him and went to the spring to drink, scooping up the fresh, clean water and drinking deeply. Then I took some of the water and splashed it on my face. The water was so cool and I was feeling so hot that I needed immediate relief. I took water and poured it down my chest, soaking my shirt.

  "That's better," I murmured to myself.

  Then I heard a cough. I turned my head to see him still standing there — frozen. He had been watching me. I stood and turned towards him. His eyes dropped to my chest and then he wrenched them away and back up to my face. I glanced down at myself and saw that the white Susohnnan shirt with a diamond cut into it, showing off my flat tummy, was now completely see-through.

  I stared at him, feeling both embarrassed and pained. I made no attempt to cover myself. He moved towards me slowly, as if in a dream.

  Oh Lord.

  Then he was standing in front of me. I closed my eyes as he leaned in to kiss me. While I waited for his lips to touch mine, a few thoughts flew through my mind. Was I going to let him kiss me? Wasn't I supposed to be strong?

  The truth was that I wanted to kiss him so badly that there was no way I was going to stop him. I wasn't that strong.

  Our lips met and I felt an explosion of energy radiating into every part of my body. His tongue tangled with mine and I pressed myself against him. One of his hands came up between us and cupped my breast. I guess he hadn't forgotten how to do THAT.

  Oh, yes. I needed him so badly. How would I ever live without him?

  Finally he pulled away.

  "We were made for each other," he whispered, gazing into my eyes.

  "And no one in the universe is going to keep us apart," I finished for him. It was what he had told me before we made love in this cave.

  I couldn't stop myself from saying the words, but they seemed to have broken the spell.

  I saw when he forgot me again. And when the realization hit him that my wet, hard nipples were pressing into his chest. And that his erection was pressing into my belly.

  He stepped back quickly.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what's going on."

  I shook my head.

  "Nothing. Nothing's going on," I said and practically ran out of the cavern.

  He caught up to me outside the cave but I kept walking. I didn't want him to see the tears streaming down my face. This was too much. I had thought that I could do this, but I couldn't.

  When I wouldn't stop, he grabbed my hand, spinning me back towards him.

  "Kenna. Stop. Please."

  "What? What do you want from me, Dar?" I said, shouting.

  He searched my face.

  "I don't know. But something happened in there. And I want to know what it was. Uh, how did you end up..."

  "So close to you?" I said, feeling the anger and bitterness filling me again. I was unable to stop it. "You came over and kissed me and...touched me."

  His eyes dropped to my shirt which was plastered to my body, my large dusky nipples — still in tight buds — showing clearly.

  "Um, yeah, I remember that part."

  "You better. Earlier, you also repeated a phrase from the past that you said to me when we were here before. You were remembering for a split second but then you forgot again."

  He frowned.

  "Next time, you should stop me."

  "I'm sorry, Dar, but if you can't stop yourself, how am I going to be able to stop you? Besides, I can't help how I respond to you. I haven't forgotten a second of our time together. Nothing in ME has changed." I turned away from him, unable to look at his face any longer.

  "I've hurt you, Kenna. I'm sorry." he said, sitting on a large boulder and putting his hand on his head. I watched him for a long time, waiting for him to make the next move. "Nothing makes sense."

  He looked up at me and I nodded. Then he stood up and stepped towards me — too close, of course, so my nipples brushed his chest and stood up at attention again.

  "One thing makes sense. When I'm kissing you," he said. He bent his head and claimed my lips as his own.

  I was swept away by the emotions and sensations flowing through my body. Part of me was enjoying every moment of it. But part of me was saying that it wasn't right to let him play with me like this.

  I had to be strong for both of us.

  After a couple of minutes, the part of me that was talking sense gained control of my body and I stepped away from him.

  "Dar," I said. "One of us has to be mature. This is not a good idea. You said so yourself. You told me you wanted a break."

  "I know," he said. "But you know how you told me that you weren't sure you could live without me?"

  I stared at him without saying anything.

  He looked down at his feet then back up. His eyes met mine and I was subject to their intoxicating depths.

  "Even without my memories, I don't know how to live without you either."

  DAR

  "You don't, huh?" she said, her eyes suddenly flashing. "Well, you know what, Dar? I think you need to make up your mind. You told me you needed a break and I have to tell you the truth. That broke my heart. Now, you're kissing me and driving me wild. And telling me that you can't live without me? Stop fucking with me. I can't handle it."

  "I'm sorry, Kenna. I'm so sorry. I wanted to be strong for you. You deserve better than a screwed up guy like me. But something in my soul is pulling me back to you. It's strong and I can't resist it anymore."

  "You can't?" she asked.

  "I can't."

  "Well, maybe you can't resist it, but I certainly can. I'm not fucking around anymore. You need to figure your shit out. I know that you're missing your memories but I'm pretty sure your conscience works just fine. And you know that flip flopping back and forth like this is not fair to me."

  "Kenna, wait a second."

  "No, until you've got yourself sorted out, there will be no more kissing. No more intimate moments."

  "But that's what reminded me. That's what I remembered. Those moments were clearly important to me."

  I felt like I would say anything right then to try and fix things. Of course, it was exactly the wrong thing to say.

  "Yeah, well, I'm not going to get my heart stomped just to save your memories. If we can't do it without breaking my soul into pieces, then we're not going to do it at all. I don't care if you're the king. I don't care if they all need you back, because I won't do it."

  She sank down to the ground in tears, looking like her heart was breaking in two. I wanted to comfort her, but I wasn't sure what I could safely do. I went next to her and gently put my arms around her.

  Kenna didn't push me
away. She sat there, like a statue.

  I kissed her tears and, despite all my efforts not to, I started crying myself. Even after her tough words, she let me hold her while we both cried.

  KENNA

  After a time, we both calmed down. I had extracted myself from his grip and we sat looking at each other, completely exhausted.

  "I don't know what to do," he said.

  "I don't either."

  We sat for a long time, neither of us saying a word and then he spoke.

  "There's something wrong with the whole mind wiping theory. It doesn't hold up. Since the beginning, I've had flashes or tiny bits of memories popping up. If I had been properly mind wiped, that would never have happened."

  "So what are you saying," I said, frowning.

  "What if I wasn't mind wiped?"

  I stared at him. The thought had never occurred to me. We were on a ship where they had the technology. The alien in charge had told us that we would be mind wiped. Dar had been taken away and then returned to us without memories. Of course he had been mind wiped.

  "But if you weren't mind-wiped then why can't you remember anything?" I said, asking the obvious question. I felt like an idiot.

  "I don't know. I don't remember anything that happened." He looked up at me. "But you do."

  I gazed back at him. This was going to lead to nothing but trouble.

  "Okay, I'll play. We told you that the space station disappeared at Wormhole 87, right?" I began. And he nodded. "And all the ten thousand crew members with it. We were all pretty upset to hear that. You, of course, wanted to go check it out. We tried to convince you that it was a bad idea but you wouldn't listen."

  I laughed mirthlessly at how right we had been. He waited silently for me to continue.

  "After we went and crew members from our space craft started disappearing — one by one this time. Jared was insistent that we needed reconnaissance and that we needed to know the enemies weaknesses. He wanted to go in alone but Mana went with him. They were escaping when you and I, uh...well...you were showing me the captain's safe place on the ship. The stronghold was out of transporter range and communications."

  "Wait, there's a place on the ship that's out of transporter range?"

  "Yes."

  "And why were we in there, again?"

  I blushed. Did I have to spell this out?

  "You do remember that we were practically engaged, right?" I said, avoiding a direct answer. "And you've noticed the chemistry between us?"

  He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off of me.

  "Did Mana tell you about the Susohnnan male mating cycle when she was briefing you about Susohnnan culture?"

  He nodded again, his eyes darkening.

  "Well, it was the end of your cycle and you couldn't think straight, so we snuck off."

  His eyes got wider. I stared at the ceiling, not looking him in the eye. This was like telling my mom about my sex life.

  "I must really have been in love with you," he said, gazing at me.

  "You were! But you don't have to be in love to have sex."

  "No, you don't. But from all the clues I'm getting, I can tell that I really cared about you."

  "To make a long story short, we were the only ones left on the ship when we came back out."

  "No!"

  I felt like I was telling him an adventure story. You lived this, Dar! "Yes. And from the information we were getting from Mana and Jared's sensors, they had been captured and seemed to be unconscious. You felt terrible for sending them in there. We went after them."

  "Were we crazy?"

  "Maybe," I said. "But they were our friends. We had to. There was no one else and by the time backup showed up, it might have been too late."

  "Right."

  "Turns out it was a trap and we were captured. The alien that was in charge of the ship took us prisoner and we were to be sent to the slave planets in their galaxy. Then you and Jared thought you would be all manly and attack him." I rolled my eyes, remembering.

  "He barely touched you and you were both flying across the room. You slammed into the wall so hard that you were knocked unconscious. Then we were transported to a different cell. You weren't with us. But you appeared later — with no memory of any of us. They took you somewhere and mind wiped you."

  Dar was frowning.

  "Wait a second. You said that Jared and I attacked the alien?"

  "Yeah. It was a stupid move. We really have no idea what their capabilities are." She shook her head.

  "And he flung me into the wall?" he said slowly.

  "Yeah."

  "And I was knocked unconscious?"

  "Yes. So what?"

  "Did I hit my head?"

  "I assume you hit your head because you were unconscious. I didn't actually see you get hit."

  "So I could actually have a brain injury that's causing amnesia! Maybe I wasn't mind wiped."

  His eyes were filled with hope. There were so many things wrong with this. Dar was happy that he might have a brain injury. The guy with either a brain injury or memory loss (but no medical degree) was diagnosing himself. This was one step away from learning how to be a doctor by watching a television show.

  Dar was still talking.

  "And if it was amnesia, then my mother was right. I may be able to regain my memories and get my life back."

  If only it were that simple.

  DAR

  When I had told my mother that I thought I had amnesia, she gave Kenna a look I didn't understand and suggested that Kenna and I visit the healing springs.

  "I have no idea what you are talking about, mother."

  "Oh yes, this time I forgot. The springs are famous on Susohn for being able to heal almost anything. If you do have a traumatic brain injury, maybe they will help cure you."

  "Dar was going to take us, before, but we never ended up going," Kenna said. She had bitten off whatever she had meant to continue saying. My mother frowned and I wondered what they were thinking about that I couldn't remember.

  "Yes," my mother said, a look of resolution on her face. "I'll arrange transport for you. The monarchs have a private pool there. I will make sure that it is ready for you. You can go tomorrow."

  "Thank you, mother," I said.

  "I will do anything to give me my son back," she said, smiling at me fondly.

  The private pool was in a secluded area away from the public springs. The servant who escorted us there took us on a five minute walk to get there. It was hidden away in the middle of the oasis. When we arrived, we dismissed the servant. Then we just there, looking at the clear, steaming hot water.

  Now what? Did I drink it? Wash in it? Would it really bring back my memory? I wasn't sure if it could, and I didn't know if I wanted to hope. Having hope meant the possibility of disappointment. I was tired of disappointing myself and other people.

  "I don't want a bunch of pressure put on me about whether or not the healing springs will actually heal my brain," I said out loud. "Let's think about this as a bath. Let's just have a nice hot bath."

  "Okay," Kenna said, and her cheeks turned pink. Great. She's probably remembering some other hot bath we had together. Did we do anything besides fuck?

  I couldn't afford to think about that, though, because it felt like we had some chemistry together. Being in close proximity made me want to touch her immediately and that was a bad idea. She wanted me to stop playing with her emotions. That meant hands off until I remembered her. I sighed internally at the thought.

  "But I don't need to go in."

  "Why not?" I frowned.

  "I think you know why."

  I looked her up and down.

  "You've barely been able to keep your hands off of me when I was clothed. How are you going to manage with only a few scraps of cloth covering me?"

  As soon as she said it, my imagination went wild and my breathing rate increased.

  "See? I haven't even stripped and you're already done for."

 
I wished she hadn't used the word stripped because it was conjuring up all sorts of naughty images. I didn't actually remember what her naked body looked like, but it's easy for males to fill in the details.

  "I'm sure that I can maintain my control," I said. I would be happy if I was just able to control my voice.

  "But can I?" she said, a seductive look in her eye.

  Well, now that was a challenge. I hoped I was up for it. "We will have to try," I said in my most kingly voice.

  She smiled like she knew something I didn't and then she proceeded to undress. I held my breath and stared, unable to look away.

  She was wearing a Susohnnan outfit that was actually fairly conservative compared to other clothes I had seen. The long green skirt with matching shirt covered most of her, except for a small circle that was cut out in the middle of her back.

  She slid the skirt down more suggestively than was necessary. I had everything under control. I could do this.

  Her skirt dropped to the ground and I caught sight of the cherry red bikini bottoms she was wearing.

  Shit. I couldn't do this.

  Then she crossed her arms over her torso and grabbed the edge of her shirt. In one smooth motion, she pulled it off leaving me with a clear view of her entire body.

  I swallowed hard.

  Her slim waist tapered down to voluptuous hips that led down to shapely legs. Her private parts were covered by that small triangle of red bikini.

  My eyes trailed down and then back up, returning to where her full breasts were barely covered by two more small triangles that were hardly decent. Her nipples weren't exposed but everything else was. I could see the round fullness of her breasts all around the bikini top and the fabric was tight so I could tell that her nipples were hard and round.

  Was she as turned on as I was? I licked my lips.

  "Hey buddy, eyes above the neck, please," she said.

  I looked up at her, feeling dazed. "Why was it that we thought we shouldn't sleep together?" I said. "I can't quite remember at this moment."

  She laughed and I watched her breasts as they jiggled. She shook her head.

  "Oh Dar," she said, grinning as she slid into the water. Her body was now hidden from my sight.

  Unfortunately, the buoyancy of her large breasts made them float along the top of the water, giving me an excellent view of her cleavage. I took a deep breath, willing myself not to bury my face in those soft pillows.