A Walk Through Fire

by Felice Stevens

  “I am. I swear. I was jumped coming home from the bus stop.”

  Putting on a smile for Stevie, Ash replied, “How about you spend the night at my house tonight? Call home and tell them you’re with a friend from school.” He put his arm around Stevie. “You’ll have to tell them the truth tomorrow when you get home with all those bruises on your face.”

  “Okay. I’ll tell them the truth. That I was beaten up coming home from school and I spoke to the police.”

  Maybe his story was true. Ash knew the neighborhood was a dangerous one, and for a slight boy like Stevie, it made him an all too easy target.

  He made the call to his foster parents and after saying his good-byes, they left together.

  Ash didn’t say good-bye to Drew, as his little girlfriend had plastered herself to his side. But when he glanced up at the window of the apartment after he shut the car door on Stevie’s side, he saw a figure, silhouetted in the lamplight. Though shrouded in shadows, Ash knew it was Drew. Like a sixth sense, he always knew where Drew was when they were together.

  He got in the car and drove away.

  Chapter Eighteen

  He’d missed his usual Sunday dinner with his grandmother, as Shelly had gotten tickets to a ball game, so Drew’s visit had to wait for Monday night. It had been the source of his and Shelly’s first argument last week when she surprised him with the tickets.

  “I told you not to make plans for me, Shel, especially on a Sunday.” He’d never raised his voice to her before, but she had to understand his priorities. “Sundays I visit my grandmother. She always comes first.”

  First all he heard was sniffling, then, when he glanced over at her, tears were rolling down her face. “I’m sorry, Drew. I know how much you wanted to see the game.” She hung her head. “I wanted to do something nice for you.”

  Guilt sliced through him like a hot knife through butter. Shit. Once again, he was the bad one. “C’mere.” He held out his arms, and she threw herself into his chest. “It’s okay this time but please don’t do it again.”

  All this ran through his mind as he parked his car in front of his grandmother’s house, noting that her grass had been freshly cut. That was nice of Mike. He knew his friend and Rachel had been over yesterday.

  After he rang the bell, he heard her steps tapping on the hardwood floor and the rattle of the inner door being unlocked. A wonderful smell of baked cookies greeted him as she opened the front door.

  “Come in, sweetheart.” She gave him a kiss, and he hugged her. “I made your favorite. Chocolate chip.” She looked behind him. “The girlfriend isn’t with you?”

  “She had to work late. I’m happy it’s the two of us.” He reached the kitchen and lowered himself with a contented sigh onto one of the wooden chairs, covered in a flowered cushion. A platter of cookies sat on the table, as well as coffee mugs, milk, and sugar. The cookies were the way he liked them, soft in the center and a little crisp on the edge with lots of big chunks of chocolate.

  Biting into one, he moaned his pleasure. “Nana, no one makes these better than you.”

  She didn’t answer him, and he opened his eyes. “What’s wrong? You’re looking at me strangely.”

  “What’s really the story with you and this girl?” She stirred her coffee and took a sip, then put the cup down as if she wasn’t really interested in it. “Tell me the truth.”

  He took a mouthful of the strong and bracing coffee. Leave it to his grandmother to cut straight to the chase. “There’s no story. We’re dating. We have fun together.”

  After studying his face for a moment, she shook her head. “You don’t love her.” Not a question, merely a statement of fact.

  Horrified, he choked on his cookie. It took two large swallows of coffee before he could speak again. “Love? Of course not. We’ve only been dating a month or so.”

  With a fond smile, his grandmother shook her head. “How long you know the person doesn’t matter when you’re in love. It could happen the first time you see them. But when you’re apart, the time stands still until the person you want to be with is with you again.” She took his hand. “You don’t feel that way about her, do you?”

  With a heavy sigh, he shook his head. “I’m not going to either. I shouldn’t lead her on like this.”

  Nana patted his hand. “She was in love with you from the first. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on her. She didn’t know you, but she loved you.”

  Reflecting on what she said, Drew knew it was true. Shelly was so much more into the relationship than him. She was the one forever planning and setting up their dates. He didn’t miss her when she wasn’t there. In fact, he could go a whole day without hearing from her, and he wouldn’t think twice about it. He sipped his coffee more slowly now, savoring its heat.

  “What does Asher think of her? I couldn’t get a straight answer from him yesterday.”

  He choked again, this time sputtering coffee on the table. “Sorry, Nana.” He wiped up the drops with his napkin. “Ash? Here yesterday?” The thought made him dizzy, as did all his thoughts about that infuriating man.

  “Yes. He comes by at least once a week. We have lovely visits.” Her eyes glimmered. “That boy is very special to me.”

  “Was he the one who mowed your lawn?”

  “No. Some young boys came by and offered to mow the lawn and trim the hedges. Why not? Usually one of you boys do it, but you shouldn’t waste your visits doing yard work.”

  His mind still couldn’t wrap around the fact that Ash came by to see his grandmother even though they weren’t really friends anymore.

  Still, curiosity gnawed at him. “What did he say about Shelly?”

  “Who?” She gave him a questioning look. “Asher?”

  At his nod, she gazed out of the window for a moment. “What really happened between you and him that you don’t talk anymore?”

  Drew swallowed. Leave it to his grandmother to answer a question with one of her own. How could he tell her the truth? Her bright blue eyes stared back at him, unwavering and full of love.

  “We became too close too fast, and it got a little overwhelming. Ash won’t trust anyone, and I can’t have a friend who doesn’t believe in me.”

  “Sometimes you need to give people a little time to learn how to trust. Especially when they have been hurt so badly.” Nana took his cup to the sink to rinse out the cold dregs, then brought him a fresh hot cup. “Asher does care about you; he’s not sure how to show it.”

  The bittersweet memory of Ash’s mouth on his cock, that wicked flickering tongue sliding down his hard length, confused him as always. The sharp pain of hurt, of a friendship gone as quickly as it arose, mixed together with his never before dreamed of desire for a man. “Nana. Trust me when I say he knows how to show it. He cares for Stevie, the young man in the clinic we’re all trying to help. I didn’t give up on Ash; he gave up on me, on our friendship.”

  He stood and took both their now empty coffee cups to the sink. “Why don’t you let me take you out for dinner?” At her hesitation, Drew sat next to her and hugged her.

  “Come on. I’ll buy you a nice corned beef sandwich and a big pickle.”

  She sniffed, but her eyes twinkled. “You think you know me so well.” As they passed through the front door and he locked it for her, she said, “I may get pastrami this time.”

  He grinned and took her hand as they walked to his car.

  At 7pm on Thursday night, he and Shelly sat in the coffee shop around the corner from his apartment in Brooklyn Heights. He’d wanted to meet in his apartment, but she couldn’t stay long so they were having a quick date.

  Every day this past week he’d planned on calling her, to set up a time to get together and have a talk. The talk that would more than likely end their relationship. Without a doubt he couldn’t continue to see her; he didn’t feel right leading her on, letting her believe they had a relationship when he knew he’d never fall in love with her. Hell, he thought she’d get the hint
when he told her it was too soon for them to have sex.

  They’d sat at the table for only a moment when his phone rang. He looked at the screen but, not recognizing the number, didn’t bother to answer it. The coolness of the iced latte quenched the dryness in his throat. Ever since his conversation with his grandmother, guilt ate away at him. He knew he should break it off with Shelly, but something always managed to prevent them from having “that talk.”

  Drew sipped his coffee. “How’s your week going? You’ve been busy, huh?” An incoming text buzzed, but he ignored it as well. Why couldn’t people leave him alone? “You’re looking tired.”

  As a menswear buyer for one of the major department stores, Shelly had explained to him how she was responsible for what clothing he saw in the stores. It was all Greek to him, since he cared very little about fashion.

  She nodded. “They’re running us ragged planning the Christmas season sales already. I have to work late all this weekend, so we won’t really get a chance to see each other.”

  “That’s okay. You have to do what’s best for work.”

  She shot him a strange look but didn’t say anything and drank her coffee.

  His phone rang again, this time with Rachel’s familiar tune. “I’m sorry, Shelly. I have to take this. It’s Rachel.

  “Hey, wh—”

  “Drew, where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone?” Her voice, normally so cheerful, sounded strained and on the verge of tears.

  “What’s wrong?” His heart bottomed down to his stomach.

  “It’s Nana. She’s in the hospital.” In the background he heard Mike’s voice; then his friend came on the phone.

  “Drew. Get over to Methodist Hospital right now. We’re in emergency.”

  He shoved the phone in his pocket and stood so abruptly his chair overturned. Shelly’s alarmed voice seemed to come from a great distance.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s my grandmother.” Please, please don’t let anything happen to her. “She’s in the hospital. I have to go.” He took off, not paying attention if she followed him or not. But she was there as he raced to his car and flung the door open. Without a word, she jumped in the front seat next to him and they took off.

  Fortunately the hospital was less than ten minutes away. He parked in the doctors’ parking lot, threw his parking permit on the windshield, and jumped out of the car. Drew found the emergency room its usual chaotic morass of patients waiting to be seen, plus EMS personnel, doctors, nurses, and technicians. Within moments he spotted Rachel and Mike.

  “What happened?”

  Rachel flung herself into his arms, sobbing. “I don’t know. It’s her heart, they said. I called and called her house, but no one answered, so I called Mrs. Delaney. She went over, and the front door was wide open. She called the police, then me.”

  Mike picked up the story as Drew continued to hold Rachel. “Keith was in Brooklyn investigating a case and said he tried to get you when he heard the call come in. He recognized your grandmother’s address.”

  “I wasn’t picking up my phone. Shit.” He swore so loud, several people across the room stopped talking and stared. He didn’t give a damn. “Let me see what I can find out.”

  He left Shelly with them and entered the emergency room triage area. They recognized him, as he had admitting privileges in the hospital, and one of the nurses pointed him to the curtained-off area where they said his grandmother was. There were several doctors there already, and he approached the one he recognized.

  “Rob, what can you tell me?” Dr. Robert Porter was a cardiologist and one of the best. Drew’s heart rate steadied, knowing his grandmother was getting the finest care she possibly could. “She’s my grandmother.”

  Rob’s eyes widened, then softened with concern. “Her heartbeat is irregular. We need to keep watch on her. I’m moving her to ICU now.” He gave orders to the two doctors standing next to him, handing the chart to the closest one. Taking Drew’s arm, he led them away, back toward Rachel. “They came in with her, so I’m presuming one or both are relatives?”

  “It’s my sister and her boyfriend.” Shelly stood there as well, but he couldn’t be bothered to introduce her right now.

  As Rob explained to them about the problem with her heart, Jordan and Keith showed up, concern etched on their faces. Keith came straight to him and hugged him hard. “I tried to call you, man, but you didn’t pick up.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go. They’re transferring her to ICU. It’s on the fifth floor.” Like the Pied Piper, he led the line of family and friends to the elevators. They crowded in together, and he was surprised to see Shelly still there.

  “I thought you had to go back to work, Shel.”

  Her big brown eyes stared back at him, incredulous. “Drew, I called and said I couldn’t come in because of your grandmother. Did you expect me to leave you?”

  Mercifully, the doors opened so he didn’t have to answer as Rachel took his hand. They approached the ICU and saw their grandmother’s suddenly frail-looking body in the bed, surrounded by tubes and beeping machines.

  “Oh, Drew.” Rachel buried her head in his shoulder. “Please tell me she’ll be all right.”

  He didn’t answer as Rob opened the door and beckoned him inside. Mike took Rachel from his arms and held her close. The door closed behind him.

  “How is she really? Tell me the truth.” Drew stood by her bedside, watching the faint rise and fall of her chest. “I feel so fucking helpless.”

  “We’re monitoring her carefully. Her heartbeat seems to have stabilized for now.” Rob’s lips quirked in a faint smile. “She’s tough and a fighter. That’s in her favor.”

  “So she’ll be all right?” As a doctor he knew it wasn’t a question he should ask, but now he was merely a family member of a patient, grasping for answers.

  “Let’s say I’m cautiously optimistic.” Rob patted his shoulder as he walked by him. “Only one visitor at a time, even for a doctor’s family.”

  Drew barely heard him as he stood next to his grandmother. “Nana. It’s me, Drew. You’re going to be fine.”

  But she didn’t waken. He kissed her on her cheek, and he smelled her familiar scent of rose water. For some reason that comforted him. “Rachel’s outside with Mike. Jordy and Keith too. All your boys. You didn’t have to go to this extreme to get us all together, Nana.” The tightness in his throat made it almost impossible to speak. Or breathe.

  “I’ll let Rachel come in to say hi to you.” He kissed her again and left the room. Rachel ran over to him.

  “How is she? Did she wake up yet?” The rest of his friends crowded around him.

  “No, but she’s stabilized. You can go in, Rachel.” The stress of the night caught up with him, and he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. How could this have happened? His grandmother’s blood pressure was normal. He knew because he checked it regularly.

  “Drew.”

  His eyes remained closed. Why now, of all times, did he hear Ash’s voice? He’d hardly spoken more than a dozen words to him lately.

  “Drew.” The voice became more insistent. He opened his eyes to Ash standing behind everyone.

  “Ash.”

  Without a second thought he rushed into his arms and held on for dear life. Without shame the tears flowed, wetting the fine linen of the shirt beneath his cheek. Ash’s strong, broad arms held him tight; his quiet voice murmured soft words in his ear.

  “It’ll be okay, baby. Don’t worry. She’s a strong lady.” Ash’s fingers slipped through Drew’s hair. All Drew needed was Ash holding him tight against the hard planes of his chest. A deep sigh shuddered through Drew as his body and Ash’s settled and fit together, like two long-lost puzzle pieces, finally found.

  The heated scent of Ash’s skin, almost forgotten, yet instinctively familiar to Drew assailed his senses, returning him to that long-ago night of dreamy desire. He needed no one else; only Ash.

 
“Drew?” From somewhere in the background of his mind, a voice pricked his conscience. “What’s going on?”

  Ash’s hands dropped from his body. Almost immediately he missed the all-encompassing warmth and security. His lips moved against Ash’s shoulder. “Make them go away.”

  “Drew.” The voice grew more insistent.

  “I think you should talk to her.”

  “Don’t leave, though.” He clutched at Ash’s shirt, wrinkling the fabric beneath his desperate fingers. “Promise you won’t leave?”

  Ash’s mouth whispered against his ear, speaking words only meant for him to hear. “Shhh. I won’t, baby. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

  Drew closed his eyes, swiping his fingers over his wet cheeks and damp lashes. When he turned around, Shelly stood there, her eyes wide with shock. Damn, he’d forgotten all about her.

  “Shelly, we need to talk.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ash watched as Drew walked his girlfriend around the corner to the lounge area. He hated hospitals and hadn’t been in one since Mr. Frank died. That sickly sweet smell of chemicals, mixed with the pungent odor of antiseptic made his skin crawl.

  But when he heard what had happened to Esther, he’d almost lost control right in his office. My God, that woman was as dear to him as actual family. And, right now, when Drew said he needed him, that settled the matter. At a touch to his shoulder he started. Jordan stood next to him, a curious look on his face.

  “What are you doing here? I didn’t think you and Drew were even friends anymore.”